(DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT REFERRING TO ALL MEN, MEN ARE AWESOME, I'M ONLY REFERRING TO THE ONES SIMILAR TO WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DESCRIBE!)
I try to use this site as a form of therapy until I get actual therapy, but I need to let this out...
I have this guy that was my friend until now. We went to high school together and I use to really like him and we tried to "be together" but at the time we were both 14 and it just didn't work. We recently rekindled our friendship this year and caught back up and things were going great for some time.
He asked me to be in a relationship not once, not twice, but three times and I've clearly said no. Even after I've said no, he would request if we would at least still be friends and I agreed because I try to give people chances and the benefit of the doubt. I made it clear that at any point, he could separate himself from me if it gets to awkward for him because the last thing i want to do is be accused of leading anyone on or being dishonest and he would still come back and insist on being friends.
As of recent, I just became a victim of domestic violence (not going into detail about that) and he knows about it because of course I tell him everything. He seemed to be a good support system until a certain point up until last week where he was flooding me with phone calls, texts messages and heart emojis while I would be asleep, while I would be running errands, early in the morning before I would even be awake, while I'm feeding my child, like just constant contacting all the time several times throughout a day. I'm talking 10 missed calls a day, 30 text messages back to back (you wish I was exaggerating). After a while, I just explained to him that coming out of a situation like that, I'm still very traumatized and I just needed a bit of time to gather myself and that it I enjoyed talking to him just not to the extent he was doing it in.
So after disappearing for some days he comes back and speaks to me again saying that he's sorry for not contacting me and that he just wanted to give me a break and things like that and I explained to him that it was fine and everything was OK. Fast forward to today, he decided to come confessing his feelings hinting at a relationship yet again and after I said no he's just been going back and forth with me like a literal child who's upset that they aren't getting their way.
So this is my thing... in a way it's kind of like damn if women do and damn if we don't... when we're honest, it's not good enough even though we're constantly yelled at by men to be honest. Yet when we cut you guys off, then we're mean and we're accused of yet again "kicking the nice guy to the curb" and we're gaslighted and guilt tripped... help me understand that.
And don't sit here and tell me that "oh you should've cut him off" because once again, I tried to and he came back pretending to be my friend and yet again I wanted to give the "NICE GUY" a chance. But these are the things that make us as women confused because it's easy to pull the good guy card but it's like many of you come with hidden motives.
So now the only thing that this resulted in is the friendship being ruined and any future chance of us ever being in a relationship all because he wanted to rush and make things about himself.. complete waste of time.