Most of us have heard the typical feminist narrative on the internet phenomena 'nice guy':
- he's not that nice
- he's only pretending to be nice to get into your knickers
- he isn't assertive
- he isn't attractive
- he does not have anything much going for him, so he falls back on his niceness
The irony here could not be richer: these women (and sometimes men) have nothing but contempt for the idea that there is such a thing as a 'nice guy'. This concept is based on all kinds of stereotyped generalisations - and they are correct. Nobody is all nice, or all bad; niceness is not a substitute for what else you have to offer to society; what is considered 'nice' to one person might be considered 'not so nice' to another; etc., etc.
But the feminist narrative is just substituting one set of stereotypes for another. What's worse is that the pathetic, whiny beta males that promote these false ideas are typically the men setting themselves up to be the targets of such feminist attacks on the nice guy.
Women are right:
- nice guys DO need something else going for them
- nice guys are NOT entitled to sex
- nice guys should NOT emotionally blackmail women into sex or relationships by virtue of their niceness
But feminists are also very conveniently ignoring some very crucial aspects:
- not all of these men are declaring themselves 'nice guys'
- not all of them believe women are obligated to give them sex or relationships
- not all men failing to be successful with women have nothing else going for them (attractiveness, interests, ambition, etc.)
- not all men failing to be successful are chasing women way above their league
- not all men failing to be successful with women worm their way into the 'friendzone' then spend months or years trying to deceive their way into a relationship
- sometimes men are justified in pointing out that the WRONG kind of guy has all the success with women while they have none
Now I hate being yet another GAG user doing a take on 'nice guys' but in face of all of these misconceptions being hurled around - and the damage that they do - I think the record on nice guys needs to be set straight once and for all (it's so ironic that these feminists think that's the job THEY are doing when they are doing precisely the opposite). You see these arguments promoted on GAG. e.g. in one mytake detailing the 'irony' about nice guys, the author used some of the following arguments:
- they bring up their angelic nature in a negative context (i.e. to emotionally blackmail the woman being pursued)
- in one of her memes, the caption stated that nice guys are 'socially retarded, unassertive, uninteresting, unfunny and mealy mouthed internet sex addict whot thinks just being nice entitles you to sex'
- 'just using the fact that they're nice not to make positive changes' read another meme
- 'when they say "nice guys finish last", it's because they are going after a woman who's not interested in them" - as paraphrased in the user's last but one meme
Another girl explain the 'real reasons' that 'nice guys finish last' was as follows:
'the reason we tend to friendzone the extremely nice guys is because some of you are just too bland'
An internet article has these as '7 lies "Nice Guys" Will Tell You':
- You Owe 'Nice Guys' a Chance
- ‘Nice Guys Finish Last – Because Women Like Bad Boys’
- ‘Nice Guys Get Stuck in the Friend Zone’
- ‘Nice Guys Are Rare Gems’
- ‘Nice Guys Are Nice for Even Noticing You’
- ‘Practicing Basic Human Decency Makes Me a Nice Guy’
- ‘Nice Guys Are Nice’
You can see then that it's abundantly clear that feminists are circulating these myths and gross generalisations about nice guys on GAG and elsewhere on the internet. I honestly don't have the time to delve into the reasons why these are all wrong in detail but hopefully the crucial aspects I covered about why most of the feminist narrative about nice guys are false generalisations will suffice.
So where are MEN going wrong with this plethora of confused stereotypes and generalisations? Simple: they are giving feminists fuel to keep on burning the fire.
- by putting emphasis on their 'niceness' as the reason for their failure, self-professed nice guys help create the illusion that nice guys have nothing else going for them in general
- by phrasing their complaints in such a way that makes it sound like the world owes them, self-professed nice guys are feeding into the stereotype that they are all self-entitled whiny beta males
Let's look at some of the MEN'S nice guy takes and questions on GAG:
'I am sick and tired of being nice. Nice gets you cheated on, nice gets you friendzoned. Nice gets you cheated on. Nice gets you lied to. Nice gets you an eternity of lonliness... I want to be the asshole all women want. Teach me.'
Another guy asked:
'For girls who wonder why its hard to find a nice guy who doesn't play games, do you know guys do that because most girls respond to it better? Like he'll be hot and cold, one time hell be texting you a lot then just not text back, or hell playfully tease you instead of just being nice and caring only. there's guys that dont act nice and just playfully mess with girls, etc'
Somebody else was looking for advice:
'I am tired of being the "nice guy" i want to be the thing girl's want because obviously being a nice person to achieve ur goals is a one way ticket to loser-ville and im not about to become one i haven't had a girlfriend in over a year and have been rejected quite a few times. Im done playing nice I want to be rhe jerk every girl falls for then i might go nice but im done playing soft and cuddly cuz girls dont fucking respect nice guys or even acknowledge them in that fact. Tell me what i need to do to get a girlfriend and the "be yourself " tip isn't anything but pure bullshit'
I only have this to say for such posts:
Again, you can see how all of this is feeding into the feminist narrative. And by bitching about how things are unfair (because let's face it, things ARE unfair for this kind of man), they are making things worse, not better. Not saying that's good, not saying it's bad - it just is what it is:
- women want to be approached
- women want to be pampered
- women want to play 'games' and expect men to react to all of this psychological bullshit with pure confidence
- women want excitement from men (and they don't necessarily care by what means they get it) - even if the guy has plenty of other positive attributes
In short, 'nice guys' are giving women the weapons and women are using them. Men should be confident and attractive but women should look for more than just this in a man, otherwise she is shallow and setting herself up to be abused - emotionally and possibly even physically. Women should not buy into the feminist narrative on 'nice guys' - which is entirely based on false premises - but some men are also to blame for feeding into these stereotypes with their words AND actions.