Search Results: having sex right away

it's been like 41/2 years now, I admit it started when he still had a girlfriend but we both felt horrible about it and he told her right away and they broke up. I had started dating some one else, but when that ended he called me to see if i was ok, and became my shoulder to lean on. we saw each other over the course of a year but never defined it, I knew he wasn't over his last relationship fully because I know he loved her and they had been together since high school (almost a decade) he got jealous one night and incredibly angry and would not talk to me. I left for a long time, then I heard from him. again. and again. and I had missed him so much, so i saw him. This time things felt right, things felt wonderful, he was just as kind and thoughtful of me as ever, even without sex. but he still couldn't talk about relationships. I just don't know what the fuck he expected of me. we admitted deep feelings for each other, tell each other things no one else knows. but I had to end it again because after 2 months again he wouldn't commit to me. I don't understand him, he can't seem to stay away from me for very long, but I always have to end it and if I tell him i never want to see him again he begs me to take it back, that he could see himself with me, that he knows he could love me. But right now I am so hurt after having broken it off again. I have blocked him, I haven't talked to him at all, I miss him so much it hurts. I don't know what I can do, if anything, but he is so so good to me aside from this and tries so hard to try to get me to understand where he is coming from but i just can't. I don't know what he's scared of, I know he really likes me to have come back all this time, why not just get a new girl? I miss him so much, I feel heartbroken.