1. Take Initiatives
My first dating advice is the most important in my view. It's doesn't mean you have to have total control of everything, it means you lead and take initiatives. You go first and lead, maybe even literally like through doors and keep them open for her. You invite her on a date and make the decisions what to do, where to eat etc. – with her interests in mind. It’s not about being super cool or old fashioned. It's about showing her interest and care, but also about being a man, showing her you can and will lead with care, it’s about making actual decisions and not just sucking up to her. It’s about not being ashamed of who you are and what you are doing.
Instinctively real women want a protector and provider. She may not admit it, but real women wants it, those who don’t are those you should avoid anyway – for many reasons, but that’s beyond the scope of this take.
Mind you, you should always lead with empathy and authority, that way it is pleasing, not being selfish nor be dictatorial. You must remain true though - there must be consistency with who you are and what you want. If you try to manipulate her by faking confidence she will find out (at some point) and lose her respect and confidence in you.
Have a plan for the date and surprise her. If she suggests something else then take notice and if you think it's a good idea, then do that instead. But be sure that you are not just doing it, just to please her, keep the both of you in mind – going to a ballet just because she wants to, won’t work now or in the future, if you think ballet is only good for having a nap.
2. Rest in Yourself
The vast majority of women would love to spend an evening with a man who welcomes her in his life, a life he is pleased with to begin with. If you are not pleased with your life, then fix it before you start dating, getting a woman won’t fix it for you anyway. So be ready to get a woman, by having a pleasing life before ever dating her and have something good to share and offer her (translation: get you act together home, job, family, friends, hobbies etc.).
3. Be Honest & Open
It can be difficult to be honest and open when you've already been on 50+ dates and have been disappointed as many times. But honesty is very important when on a date. Basically it's about letting a girl into your life and getting to know her. If you seem closed or dishonest you won’t get a second date with her.
Of course you don’t need to share everything with her right away, in fact you should spend most of you energy asking about her, not talking about you. If she wants to know about you, she will ask you.
Don’t over share, nor try to make her tell intimate details about her at this point. Always listen to her, but don’t try to solve her issues, it’s not your job – not yet anyway. Just listen, but no more than 10 minutes at a time, so don’t be silent and boring. If she does ask for your advice then tell her, otherwise keep it to yourself.
4. Make Her Feel Safe, Relaxed & Comfortable
Women are generally more verbally communicating than men. If you don’t call/text her within a day or two after a date, she might write you off. Some say just the opposite, don’t be to ‘desperate’ and ‘reply too soon’, but if you hit it off, she won’t mind and if you didn’t, it won’t matter anyway - however, don’t be creepy and text her 5 min after a date either, be ‘normal’ not desperate nor slow.
If however after a date, you are not interested in her, then be a man and tell her and again don’t be too slow about it. She might surprise you and tell about her friends and maybe share your phone number, who knows it have happened to me, so it’s defiantly possible. Treat women with respect and they might just return the favor.
In short, be sure to keep in touch. Write a text messages or call, it makes her feel comfortable and not guessing about your intent. Being mysterious is fine when you want to seduce a young girl, but not needed when building a reel relationship.
You should not call her more than once a day and maybe not even that, since you shouldn't be bugging her. If you write text messages remember humor can easily be misunderstood in writing. Even with smileys a text can sound different, when she has no voice or body language to read.
It will give her peace of mind that you responded promptly to her text messages or phone calls’, presuming it’s possible. Show up in time, better be 2 minutes early than 2 minutes late for a date.
Don’t be cocky and funny because you have read it in a book or on the internet, be yourself. It’s about you and her, not a game you have read in a book.
5. Don't Take Things Too Seriously
Humor is sexy just like intelligence, charm, good look, money and status. If you don’t have any of those you can still get far if you can make her laugh and have a great time. The more intelligent she is, the more success you will have with humor. You will be more appealing if you show you do not take dating too seriously or personal. Let it be a game in a good way, where you get to learn about each other, a game that can evolve into something more but doesn't have to.
If she was not the woman of your dreams, then better having spent a fun night together and remember most dates don’t end in marriages. So don’t feel this is what’s makes or breaks you entire life, it’s just a date, nothing more nothing less.
6. Flirt with her
Remember to flirt with her. Keep eye contact, teasing her, if you do touch her, mind her signals and don’t ever go too far. Respect her boundaries and personal sphere.
7. Sex on the First Date?
Sex on the first date is a never-ending debate. For some women waiting is a good sign, if she is hesitant it may be because she is serious about it, for others it just the opposite. Always keep in mind girls are different, their signal are ambiguously at best. If you do have sex with her, then be sure to keep contact afterwards, in the following days – otherwise she's may feel rejected or used. Both in relationships or while dating, don’t just turn around and fall asleep after sex, but be there with her, talk to her or just keep body contact.
Beware though, your sexual performance counts a great deal more when you are not in a relationship yet. So she will focus a lot on how you were in bed – far more than if she had already fallen in love with you. Sex on the first date is as dangerous for men as it is for women, keep it in mind.
8. Communication
Women tend to consider all your expressions of intentions as promises. So if you say “It might be nice to travel together" or "I think my mom will like to see you" or "maybe I could see you next week". She might hear you giving her promises that these things are going to happen. She might consider it as an agreement.
Please only say what you can absolutely vouch for and avoid misunderstandings.
9. Make Her Feel Special
Women don’t like to feel like an object. Whether it is a sex object or a girlfriend object, doesn't matter. If you for example, tell her within the first few dates that you are madly in love with her or she is the girl of your dreams, or you like to have children with her. Then she will mostly likely think: "Right – you don’t even know me yet... so it's probably just something you say to anyone, you must be desperate!"
Women love to see themselves as special. Show her and tell her that, but don’t overdo it. And adjust it to the level you know her at the time. On the first few dates, you just give her your full attention, turn off the phone (it won’t hurt to let her see you turn it off, she may see it as "He enjoy being with me so much he won’t like any interference”). Women love to be the center of you full attention, so they can feel special, and that will suffice initially.
10. Get to Know Her First
There are things you need to find out about her before you get involved with her:
- Does she want you just the way you are or does she have planes of changing you into something you are not?
- Does she have fair and balanced relationships with family and friends?
- How does she treat you and just as important, other people – is she bitchy?
I’ll say, if she fails at even one of those, then drop her right away. It won’t be a long and satisfying relationship if she fails even one of those. As soon as your infatuation is over, the relationship will break or you will end up settling for a bad relationship.
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