10 things men should know about dating women

10 things men should know about dating women

1. Take Initiatives

My first dating advice is the most important in my view. It's doesn't mean you have to have total control of everything, it means you lead and take initiatives. You go first and lead, maybe even literally like through doors and keep them open for her. You invite her on a date and make the decisions what to do, where to eat etc. – with her interests in mind. It’s not about being super cool or old fashioned. It's about showing her interest and care, but also about being a man, showing her you can and will lead with care, it’s about making actual decisions and not just sucking up to her. It’s about not being ashamed of who you are and what you are doing.

Instinctively real women want a protector and provider. She may not admit it, but real women wants it, those who don’t are those you should avoid anyway – for many reasons, but that’s beyond the scope of this take.

Mind you, you should always lead with empathy and authority, that way it is pleasing, not being selfish nor be dictatorial. You must remain true though - there must be consistency with who you are and what you want. If you try to manipulate her by faking confidence she will find out (at some point) and lose her respect and confidence in you.

Have a plan for the date and surprise her. If she suggests something else then take notice and if you think it's a good idea, then do that instead. But be sure that you are not just doing it, just to please her, keep the both of you in mind – going to a ballet just because she wants to, won’t work now or in the future, if you think ballet is only good for having a nap.

2. Rest in Yourself

The vast majority of women would love to spend an evening with a man who welcomes her in his life, a life he is pleased with to begin with. If you are not pleased with your life, then fix it before you start dating, getting a woman won’t fix it for you anyway. So be ready to get a woman, by having a pleasing life before ever dating her and have something good to share and offer her (translation: get you act together home, job, family, friends, hobbies etc.).

3. Be Honest & Open

It can be difficult to be honest and open when you've already been on 50+ dates and have been disappointed as many times. But honesty is very important when on a date. Basically it's about letting a girl into your life and getting to know her. If you seem closed or dishonest you won’t get a second date with her.

Of course you don’t need to share everything with her right away, in fact you should spend most of you energy asking about her, not talking about you. If she wants to know about you, she will ask you.

Don’t over share, nor try to make her tell intimate details about her at this point. Always listen to her, but don’t try to solve her issues, it’s not your job – not yet anyway. Just listen, but no more than 10 minutes at a time, so don’t be silent and boring. If she does ask for your advice then tell her, otherwise keep it to yourself.

4. Make Her Feel Safe, Relaxed & Comfortable

Women are generally more verbally communicating than men. If you don’t call/text her within a day or two after a date, she might write you off. Some say just the opposite, don’t be to ‘desperate’ and ‘reply too soon’, but if you hit it off, she won’t mind and if you didn’t, it won’t matter anyway - however, don’t be creepy and text her 5 min after a date either, be ‘normal’ not desperate nor slow.

If however after a date, you are not interested in her, then be a man and tell her and again don’t be too slow about it. She might surprise you and tell about her friends and maybe share your phone number, who knows it have happened to me, so it’s defiantly possible. Treat women with respect and they might just return the favor.

In short, be sure to keep in touch. Write a text messages or call, it makes her feel comfortable and not guessing about your intent. Being mysterious is fine when you want to seduce a young girl, but not needed when building a reel relationship.

You should not call her more than once a day and maybe not even that, since you shouldn't be bugging her. If you write text messages remember humor can easily be misunderstood in writing. Even with smileys a text can sound different, when she has no voice or body language to read.

It will give her peace of mind that you responded promptly to her text messages or phone calls’, presuming it’s possible. Show up in time, better be 2 minutes early than 2 minutes late for a date.

Don’t be cocky and funny because you have read it in a book or on the internet, be yourself. It’s about you and her, not a game you have read in a book.

5. Don't Take Things Too Seriously

Humor is sexy just like intelligence, charm, good look, money and status. If you don’t have any of those you can still get far if you can make her laugh and have a great time. The more intelligent she is, the more success you will have with humor. You will be more appealing if you show you do not take dating too seriously or personal. Let it be a game in a good way, where you get to learn about each other, a game that can evolve into something more but doesn't have to.

If she was not the woman of your dreams, then better having spent a fun night together and remember most dates don’t end in marriages. So don’t feel this is what’s makes or breaks you entire life, it’s just a date, nothing more nothing less.

6. Flirt with her

Remember to flirt with her. Keep eye contact, teasing her, if you do touch her, mind her signals and don’t ever go too far. Respect her boundaries and personal sphere.

7. Sex on the First Date?

Sex on the first date is a never-ending debate. For some women waiting is a good sign, if she is hesitant it may be because she is serious about it, for others it just the opposite. Always keep in mind girls are different, their signal are ambiguously at best. If you do have sex with her, then be sure to keep contact afterwards, in the following days – otherwise she's may feel rejected or used. Both in relationships or while dating, don’t just turn around and fall asleep after sex, but be there with her, talk to her or just keep body contact.

Beware though, your sexual performance counts a great deal more when you are not in a relationship yet. So she will focus a lot on how you were in bed – far more than if she had already fallen in love with you. Sex on the first date is as dangerous for men as it is for women, keep it in mind.

8. Communication

Women tend to consider all your expressions of intentions as promises. So if you say “It might be nice to travel together" or "I think my mom will like to see you" or "maybe I could see you next week". She might hear you giving her promises that these things are going to happen. She might consider it as an agreement.

Please only say what you can absolutely vouch for and avoid misunderstandings.

9. Make Her Feel Special

Women don’t like to feel like an object. Whether it is a sex object or a girlfriend object, doesn't matter. If you for example, tell her within the first few dates that you are madly in love with her or she is the girl of your dreams, or you like to have children with her. Then she will mostly likely think: "Right – you don’t even know me yet... so it's probably just something you say to anyone, you must be desperate!"

Women love to see themselves as special. Show her and tell her that, but don’t overdo it. And adjust it to the level you know her at the time. On the first few dates, you just give her your full attention, turn off the phone (it won’t hurt to let her see you turn it off, she may see it as "He enjoy being with me so much he won’t like any interference”). Women love to be the center of you full attention, so they can feel special, and that will suffice initially.

10. Get to Know Her First

There are things you need to find out about her before you get involved with her:

  • Does she want you just the way you are or does she have planes of changing you into something you are not?
  • Does she have fair and balanced relationships with family and friends?
  • How does she treat you and just as important, other people – is she bitchy?

I’ll say, if she fails at even one of those, then drop her right away. It won’t be a long and satisfying relationship if she fails even one of those. As soon as your infatuation is over, the relationship will break or you will end up settling for a bad relationship.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Men and Women really aren't so different in their wants and needs, only in how they ask for it. Most of this can be applied in reverse. Great article!

    • Indeed dating isn't rocket science, unfortunately many are on this site because they are, should we say, less successful in the dating.

      Some of guys here even object to some of the advice like no 1, showing the need to say it yet again.

    • Show All
    • Is it wrong I'm jealous, envious of women that way?

    • Well that really depends on your definition of jealous, if you mean feeling envious resentment then you are wrong, but if you just will it would be nice if you have the same advantages then it's fine and normal.

Most Helpful Guy

  • While I appreciate the effort of writing this all out, I'm pretty sure you can find lists like this on the first page of Google :O

    • Not my opinion you can't :)

      But yes it's not rocket science so the principles are describe by many I am sure.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I love your Take. It is very accurate. And also; from my experiences and anyone else I know who follows the same advices in your take when dating or even getting to know people, it has worked every time or at least majority of the time.

  • Damn... you are a genius. I hope ALL MEN read this!!!

  • how r u reading my mind?/!!!
    this right here ^ is genius
    i have to say u know girls

  • You are my Hero :*

  • I agree with most of this! Of course, it totally depends on the woman, but typically, these are great points. With the sex thing, I always caution men. I make myself pretty obvious, but some girls don't. I personally am not very experienced, have never had sex, and don't plan to just on a first date, probably not even for awhile. So... I mean, a lot of guys would pass me up for that, and that's fine. However, I think men should sort-of get a feel for what the girl wants before initiating anything sexually on the first date. I've had a guy try to pressure me on the first date, by touching me without asking, and I took great offense to it.

    • Out of curiosity, what did you not agree with, minding all women are different of course?

    • For myself personally, I agree with all of it. A lot of these are common mistakes men make, and in the end, I usually blame myself for being too picky. But what I mean is, some girls may be different, which you did state. I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing, for example, if they don't like a guy who takes initiative. Sometimes the girl likes to wear the pants in the relationship I suppose. :p So... this advice works for a lot of girls probably, and probably most of these points works for all girls. But like, the sex thing and initiative thing, probably depends on the girl. I'd say the biggest mistake guys make with me is the point you made about not taking things too fast or too slow. If they play the push and pull game for too long, I get tired and frustrated, and I'll just move on. If they go too fast (saying I love you in the first week or something), then I assume they say that to everyone. Same if they ask for sex on the first date. I assume it's not important to them.

    • I guess when it comes to women in college and on up, we start wanting a mature man. We don't want to play games like "Guess what he's thinking!" or "Guess if he likes me or not!" And boundaries are a huge issue with me, probably is with other girls, too. My last boyfriend, I met online, and he came to visit me, and I told him so many times beforehand that I'm uncomfortable with doing anything intimate, because of past abuse. He acted like he understood, and then literally any time he could make a pass at me, he would. Watch a movie, he's rubbing my thigh and inching closer until I tell him to stop. He kissed me every 2 minutes (literally, not exaggerating), and the kisses were forceful and just ended up being gross. He was actually my first kiss (I'm not experienced at all), so I wasn't ready to be kissed so much and so... aggressively. I felt regardless of what I told him, he just didn't listen and didn't respect me, so in the end, I cut ties completely with him.

  • Great dating advice for men. Especially the initiative part!

    • Why can't women take the initiative?

    • Show All
    • @moviedude714 Women can be leaders to in my relationship I'm the leader

What Guys Said 11

  • PUA and related shit have made datign more complex than it needs to be...

    Guys who struggle getting dates should be befriend a player, learn from him and enact. or simply be themselves... it's simple... our parents' generation had little of this PUA bollocks and the fact we exist now shows it's stupid..

    • Yes, but befriend a player, I am not a player, but I have always had a least moderate success with girls.

      Players aim are to get laid, I am talking about dating building a relationship, not just getting laid.

    • didn't mean you... just this advice is too generic.

  • Number 1 would be a hell of a lot easier if 2 number 2 was not required, its not easy if you are inexperienced or going through a long dry spell, it makes it almost feel like damned if you do and damned if you don't

    • Because you are missing no 5, you are putting too much into the date like if it goes wrong it's the end.

      But truly it isn't, don't you think the rest of us have had dates that didn't turn out as we hoped!! It's normal, enjoy the ride and don't be overly focused on the outcome.

    • Show All
    • Expected to be, it's about you not what others are expecting from you. Mentally independent, naturally, what's the alternative!!!

    • Well still, its because that fine line between being assertive, going after what you want and preventing yourself from coming across as needy or desperate is a very fragile line

  • all spot on , but it only works if the girl is normall, for instance , if you are dating a girl with bpd, forget about them.

    • Dated a girl with BPD what a headache.

    • Show All
    • thats true, sometimes i do get more in return, sometimes i get nothing. 1 week ago, she was really intimate with me again after a while, and now a week later, i haven't kissed her once, i tried to yesterday, a small kiss on her lips but no heavy making out. not even some good kissing action, i won't be seeing her for 2 weeks. yes i dont always get in return what i want, she tells me she likes having sex with me, that im very good at it, but why she can't just have sex with me, is beyong recollection. 6 weeks haven't passed, since her miscarriage, that could be it, but im not sure, im actually never sure, she has blocked me on social media more than once, shutting me out, not willing to listen to me, she made me do things i didn't agree with, hiding her pregnancy with me , from her own aunt and uncle, and other stuff. im pretty much always blamed, if she hears rumors, she believes i have been talking about her, which i dont, she hardly believes me. she is high maintenance

    • Wow. That's not even true.

  • What utter crap. Any guy who acts this dopey is a complete loser

    • Yes, if you by loser mean successful in dating.

    • Anyone who uses phrase "successful in dating" is a total loser

    • Right, you phrase "Anyone who uses phrase "successful in dating" is a total loser"... proves you certainly are one.

  • You completely hit the nail on the head with this one, well done.

  • I don't understand #7, it at least to me makes the guy/girl seem easily accessible and cheapens their value.

    • At the end he said having sex on the first date is dangerous and not ideal. But it depends on the girl basically.

  • Forget this. Just be fucking human.

    • And seriously: Fuck off. I am so damn tired of hearing guys online telling other guys to man up, be more alpha, etc. etc. etc. STFU. Life is not about pretending to be some character because you have read that statistically women want that, or seen it in the movies or something. I'm not gonna man up. I want the right to be a fucking pussy sometimes, to cry, to be pathetic, to be insecure, bla, bla, bla. I don't want to be some stupid action man automaton. There are way too many of that kind of guy already, and with everyone telling everyone else to be that way, they are sure keep growing in number. You are totally free to be like that, if that is your thing. But stop telling guys to limit themselves like that. There is enough bullshit propaganda in the world already.

    • You didn't even read it...

  • Wow! Another take on empowering women. Oh well

    • Actually it is intended to empowering men when dating women.

  • Good read.

  • I love how people plagiarize so freely today.

    • You must be talking about yourself, because it certainly isn't me. If others agree with me then fine, but it's still my opinion.

  • this is why i'm jealous, envious of how women are valued for their youth more than men are:www.nomoremrniceguy.com/.../showthread.php?t=34519


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