Introduction
In western society, there are still very distinct gender roles in dating and trends that will continue for the foreseeable future. No matter what people say, men and women are different. We think differently, we see things differently and we do things differently. This take is meant to shed some light on things women should know and take into account when dating or pursuing a man.
*quick note, I know there will be that person in the comments saying that this isn't true for everyone. I know this, but these are trends that are common with the majority of men, take this advice as you like*
Men have the ability to separate sex and feelings
This has caused many women I know much grief in their lives. They try to look through men's eyes with a woman's perspective. You simply cannot. A man can find you attractive and funny sure, but if there's no chemistry then he's not staying up at night wondering how to ask you out. Most men can have sex with a woman and not need to know her name. We don't really use sex as a way to bond, rather as something enjoyable and fun. If you're a woman and you're trying to use sex to keep a man you will almost ALWAYS fail.
Sometimes men don't even think they have a chance with you
This is extremely common for men, especially more reserved and shy men. You will read many questions on here asking why won't he ask me out? He knows I like him! The truth is, he might think he has no chance. A man might have asked a woman he deems comparable to you, and might have been rejected. Perhaps he thinks this will be the case for other women in this "league" and try to go after women that are less attractive for this reason.
We have a lot of pressure in the beginning stages
This ties into a common question "Why does he stop trying as hard?". I can tell you partially why. Women don't understand the pressure and risk it takes to successfully get a woman. Men drive and initiate the majority of relationships. We must approach, we must impress, we must pay for the date, we have to show we are worthy. A woman's shortlist of requirements aren't exactly short.
We don't necessarily want the prettiest girl
This might be the most surprising thing on the list. Women assume we want the pornstar, or the model. In reality, we want a girl we deem pretty enough but brings meaning and stability in our lives. Many very pretty women are stressful, for many reasons. We want someone that matches our personality and brings us good emotions, not stress or annoyance. Keep in mind that most men still want a relatively pretty girl. Just enough where we get a good feeling looking at her and she makes us smile with her beauty. A man 9/10 will choose the cute girl that is fun and he's comfortable with than a gorgeous woman that is into him, but he's not comfortable with.
Men get insecure also
Some common things men get insecure about are: height, weight, muscles, income, status, sexual performance, hair, masculinity, skillsets, and athletic ability. Just to name a few. What makes it even more difficult is that a man's attractiveness depends highly on his confidence. He's expected to be confident 24/7. A woman's confidence isn't as important to their overall success in the dating world. Keep this in mind if he is hard to open up.
We have to go after what we want, it never lands in our laps
Unless you're in the top 5% of men, the smart business man who a killer physique, you will almost never land a date unless you put a lot of effort. Women don't actively pursue us because the don't need to. We have a lot of competition with other men. We have to get out there and show our charm, look our best, and even that isn't usually enough. I find that women struggle to understand this hardship. Most men will NEVER get the feeling of being desired like a woman does. It's no ones fault, and it's not a complaint, just show some sympathy. Sometimes men get upset simply because they're frustrated, not necessarily because they're bad people.
Most Helpful Opinions