"All men just want sex!" and why this shouldn't deter you from pursuing them.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen women say "Seems like all men just want sex right away. Aren't there any good men anymore?". Women need to stop looking at this as though it is a negative, and see it for what it truly is.

The fact of the matter is, if a man is interested in you, he will want to have sex with you, just like if you are interested in a man you will desire him sexually. There are key differences in the sexual desire between men and women that women often neglect, which leads them to this incorrect conclusion that all men want to simply have sex with you and then be completely done with you.

The first factor that women don't consider is that men have to be the initiators of sex 99% of the time.

"All men just want sex!" and why this shouldn't deter you from pursuing them.

Women are used to picking and choosing when and where sex will occur, especially if they are attractive. For a man to have sex it is virtually "hit or miss". You, as women are the deciders of when sex happens, and, in my experiences, we as men could ask you as women the same question 10 minutes apart and get different answers entirely. "Women reserve the right to change their mind", and you certainly employ this right whenever your minds deem it favorable. Because we have to initiate, unless we are sexually driven, we will be sexually starved.

Another factor that women have to consider is that; while you as women are made for monogamy, men are not.
"All men just want sex!" and why this shouldn't deter you from pursuing them.

The primary carnal instinct of all life is to ensure that the life of it's species (and more specifically your gene pool) continues. Humans are no exception to this rule. If a woman procreates, it is nearly a year long process of carrying and developing another human inside of yourself. For a considerable time of this process, women are significantly less capable of providing for themselves. Both near and shortly after child birth, women must focus the entirety of themselves on their child. This leaves them in a vulnerable situation, and makes it unlikely for them to have any other partner during this time. Women also are capable (although with modern technology it is no longer necessary) of feeding their child in a way a man simply is incapable of doing through breastfeeding. They not only bring their child into the world, but are also responsible for sustaining their life shortly after, which also leaves less time for finding additional partners. Men do not have these issues. While, if a man is taking care of one woman, or having a child by one woman, it might be more tiresome to take care of another, but by no means is it impossible. A man can easily have two or more children at the same time with two or more woman, and (if his situation allows it) provide for them all adequately. A woman is simply incapable of procreating with multiple partners at once (barring a genetic anomaly that would likely result in her death). So, evolutionary speaking; it is favorable for one man to have multiple multiple women, while it is favorable for multiple woman have one man. This way, the most genetically favorable men can pass down their genes more frequently, and the the most fertile women can ensure that they are taken care of during their vulnerable stages. This is why men in older times had multiple wives and not visa/versa.

Another point that goes completely over a woman's head is that men are not interested in wasting their time.
"All men just want sex!" and why this shouldn't deter you from pursuing them.

As said before, women are very fickle beings and change their minds often. I theorize that this is partially because of the long standing oppression of women in general, which caused them to be legally unable to make decisions lingering throughout modern society, but that's another discussion entirely. Regardless of the reason; women change their mind A LOT. While in high school and early years of university boys might be more tolerant of the fickle nature of women, but past this point the game gets old. Men eventually learn, "if you are not willing to do things for me that you wouldn't for others, you aren't very interested in me." When a man asks you out, he wants you. If a woman says yes it is understood that she wants the man as well. If the feeling of attraction is mutual then sex should be desired by both parties. And because we have to initiate, we test the waters to see if it is on the table as soon as possible. If it is a top priority, and your answer is no, then we move on to someone who's answer is yes. No time wasted.

My last point of this take is; just because he wants to have sex with you, doesn't mean he is uninterested in a realtionship.
"All men just want sex!" and why this shouldn't deter you from pursuing them.

The most common thing I see women doing is abandoning men that wanted sex on the first date simply because of the fact. What women don't understand is that if a man wants to have sex with you, all it means is that he is attracted to you. If he is bold enough to ask you to come back with him after a date, then it likely means he is not only attracted to you, but also means he enjoyed your company, and does not want the date to end. This is a good sign more than a bad sign, as a man who will not pursue further relations afterward is either too cowardly, or too influenced by societal pressures. Regardless of whether you take him up on his offer or not, this should never be a reason to cut him off entirely.

In short, just because he wants sex, doesn't mean he's a player. It simply means he is a man.And honestly girls, would you really want a man who DID NOT find you sexually attractive? Because I'm sure no one wants a partner who does not desire them.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When women say he just wants sex, they mean they think he JUST wants sex. Only sex, not relationship, so I think you kinda missed the point there

    You're drawing the wrong conclusions. Women aren't made for monogamy any more than men are.
    Women DO strive to find someone who will take care of her and her children, that someone doesn't necessarily have to be the biological father. He just has to believe he is. There has been a lot research done in showing that women has a whole have been far more successful in passing on their genes, while for men, few men fathered a lot of children

    As for use being fickle because of our history of oppression, well you did say it is a theory. I think it's quite a stretch and quite an offensive one on top. So what you are saying is women aren't capable of making decisions as good as men are? The history argument is BS. I don't know about you, but I grew up in a world where I've had to make all the decisions and carry all the responsibilities men do. In fact my mother did too and my grandmother, well what does that have do to with me? There are two generations in between. What matters is how the world is as you grow up. That's what defines your personality, not how the world used to be

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    • You literally took the words right out of my mouth.

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    • Oh good one. I totally agree with that first line, for my own personal reasons, feminine instinct, perception and decisions can be mind blowing, but many times, not. Im still a believer of "y'all are crazy" lol. Its quite simple really, my theory is that women base a lot of things on emotions and emotions are just a time bomb waiting to go off. Sometimes you are lucky enough to defuse, more times you aren't able to.
      When did you ever read that take?

    • @srslyly You got one thing wrong.

      You would never be justified in hating anyone (in these circumstances, at least). Hate is poison and there's no justification to feel such a strong animosity towards someone when it comes to an issue of how women feel v. s. how you feel.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The title of this article implies that women don't like having sex. I also laughed when you said that "Women are used to picking and choosing when and where sex will occur" and then went on to say that men are not generally monogamous creatures. An actual anthropologist will tell you that the customs dictating romantic and sexual relationships are much less gender specific than they are culture specific. Medium term monogamy is simply a necessity in raising children once you look at the fact that humans are among the most neediest offspring of any species at childbirth.

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    • I did take that into account. Did you actually read the take? Cause I mention that women generally sustain the life of their newborn children...

    • Despite that, you concluded that it is more advantageous for a man to have many sexual partners as opposed to women. The thing is that in the wild, it's not the opportunities for reproduction that's scarce for men, it's with what genetics that offspring comes away with. The environment of the hunter-gatherer simply can not provide for each man to reproduce more than 2 or 3 times in his lifetime. At the same time, not all sex is necessarily geared towards reproduction.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Because although the man may be biologically programmed to want other girls whilst in a relationship, evolution/biology do not account for the fact that the man may value his gf/wife too much to follow through his desires to mate with others!
    That is why I support the idea that we shouldn't be deterred from dating men cos they have desires, because the evolutionary exp is reductionist. It fails to account the fact that many men have will power, and a conscience and are selfless.

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    • By no means am I saying men are incapable of monogamy, I'm saying that if he decides to commit to a truly monogamous relationship with you, you should understand it is something not to be taken lightly, as it is not in our nature.

  • I see no harm in having sex as long as a girl is not being used for her booty and for His convenience when he wants to go in between the sheets. Many girls do not want to to feel they are just his 'Babe in the bed,' but instead, May want a Real relationship where they are two birds of a feather and not two tweets in the nest who merely flap feathers and don't squawk or talk about anything else but how to peck and perch.

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  • I was totally agreeing with you but I have one thing to say... i dont care what the reasoning is for why men want to have multiple women I don't feel it is an excuse to cheat (I know you didn't say cheat, I'm assuming you're talking about single men and single women). I just wanted to throw that out there.

    Women want to be desired sexually so that we know we are attractive. Women spend so much time on how they look they want it to be appreciated so that is another point for your cause.

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  • It's really annoying when straight men get Pissed and defensive when women say men want sex from them when that's the truth, all straight men want women for sex.

    I mean heterosexual men are attracted to women sexually. I do not see how this fact is offensive.

    But I liked this mytake

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  • So let me ask you a question? If you already been on a first and a second date soon to be third and the guy hasn't even try to pursue to have sex yet, is he really interested in me? I been on dates where guys would try to take me back to there place on the first date! But this guy seems different. Just trying to make sure he is not after my body and only after my mind.

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    • depends. If you've made it apparent you want to wait, then he've probably understood that and out of respect chosen to not make a move entirely.
      Or he could simply be of the old school who despite of his desires chose to wait. In effect, a guy dating you wants you, wether he shows it or not is a different storry.

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    • A guy who you're dating who hasn't pursued sex yet might just be shy about making the first move. I can't speak for other guys, but that's the case with me at least. I always wait for the woman to ask for sex first so that I won't come off to her as pushy.

    • @JML510 How long does that take?

  • Oh my god. What a jerk

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What Guys Said 8

  • Wait, you're saying that women, the people who, even with their fertility on lockdown should they desire, still manage to abort a fifth of the fetuses they create, and then still manage to have over two thirds of live births while unmarried, and still manage to file divorce without fault grounds at more than twice the rate men do, are "made for monogamy"?

    I understand your point about evolved behavior, but for one man to have many wives, some other guys are having to get left out in the cold. Those guys are gonna murder to get that top spot, and the women who immediately forget that the last alpha ever existed are going to be the ones who will adapt best to their new environment and will produce the most viable offspring. That's not "monogamy". That's "serial partnering".

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    • Physically, yes, women are made for monogamy. With the modern era giving women more choice than ever before, women aren't sure what to do with their freedom which leads to their fickle nature and their generally aimless goal of modern day "feminism".

      No, what you were attempting to describe was polygamy, wasn't it? And ya, some men were left out in the cold. That's evolution: only the strongest survive.

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    • That awkward moment... When you misread a comment then cannot delete your own comment due to the primative layout of this website.

    • @Unimaginative2
      Was kinda wondering what you were talking about, but that's quite alright.

  • Well said mate, although I didn't get the "barring a genetic anomaly that would likely result in her death"... what did you meant by that?

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    • Some women are born with 2 uteruses. It's extremely rare and often unnoticed, but if she were to get pregnant in both of her uteruses at the same time she would likely not survive child birth

    • Take owner, have you never heard of fraternal twins? They need not have the same father.

  • Yas men only wanna score on the cuties and that's it. Hence why many of them wanna remain apsingle and have that freedom of wanna score on as much cuties as possible before settling down. It's sad but true.

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  • Any woman who says "all men want is sex" is not worth your time, my time, or anyone else's time.

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    • Isn't that true? what all men want for girls is sex? so you ain't one of the men if you dined this

    • Do I really have to explain this?

    • He is saying these women aren't worth the time because these women are clearly only going after jerks

  • Im surprised you got away with this... mostly. People who even broach this topic in the slightest, get mowed over by all the many feminine power support groups on GaG. I have to say, I thought I knew about this,, but this was an eye opener for me. Your second factor is a bit iffy but does make sense, and your fourth factor is strong, but the explanation could be shaken. Not because it isn't solid, but because of all the pathetic excuses for men who do that to get one night stands spoiling it for the average joe that wants a relationship but sex too...

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  • I think that if a guy just wants a girl to see how fast she can make him bust a nut than he should just let her know that he just wants to fuck-thats what I do.

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  • Lots of yes to this. I think I agree with pretty much all of it though I might have phrased it differently.

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  • Why men are not made for monogamy?

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    • Did you not read the part following that bolded part?

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    • Because in case of casual sex, this 'monogamy' part fails.

    • No, I wasn't factoring in morals, I was referring strictly to the biological reasons behind men not being constructed for monogamy.

      Are you saying casual sex for women fails the monogamy part? A little confused by that statement.

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