Search Results: will not leave me alone

I need advice, please.

I've been living here in the US for three years, im from an Asian country. (graduating high school student now). I moved here because of my mom, together with my 2 other siblings. my mom and dad are separated, so we all had to leave my dad behind (which breaks my heart every time I miss him by the way, and I always do).

I did see my dad last 2018. I went home for only a month.
ever since I've been here I've never really been myself. I thought I just had to give it time, and thought maybe if I made friends it will make things better, but it didn't. Everything is actually good, I think, thats why I dont know why I feel this way.

Im just gonna make this shorter, my mom and I had a big fight yesterday. She said some things out of anger. One of those things is her telling me it would be better for everybody if I went home to our home country. She knows how happier I'd be if I was home. also since I've been here I've always been easily irritated, upset, basically a pain in her life and my siblings.

I never planned on going home until she said it, but once she did, I realized then and there that it really is what I want- but I dont know if it is what's best for me. I thought once I moved here I will be here for good. I mean, its America, some people from other countries work hard to get to live here. I talked to my dad about it, he said he's always there for me if I ever decide to go home. also my boyfriend lives back in my home country too

so pros are- my dad won't be alone anymore, I would no longer be in an ldr, I would be happier, I would get to see my closest and oldest friends. (I will continue studying there)

cons- I'll leave my mom behind, I might be ruining my future and miss a lot of opportunities.

pros outweigh the cons, but I still dont know what to fucking do. a part of me knows its best to stay, but a part of me also knows I will never be contented.
If i ever decide to go home I can come back here in the country later in time