Guys, Should I stay or should I go?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years, is 27 and still living at home. This wouldn't be such an issue, except that he hardly has any time for me because of living at home. His mother is in her 50s, and stays at home all day. When I went to visit them in the beg8ning of the relationship, I noticed that his mother is basically bedridden. She is physically capable of things, but stays in her robe, watching TV all hours of the day/night. He has very little boundries established as well, as he is not allowed to shut his bedroom door. His mother will wander in any time of the day or night, with requests for food, or a chore. Once, I woke up to his mother and father standing over the bed, watching us sleep. (They both allowed me to stay over, and knew I was in there. Also, his father is a trucker, and comes home once every other month, for a week at most. This leaves my boyfriend to keep the house running, and care for his mother. The only time he can leave the house is when his father does come home. I asked him why, and he says his mother has panic attacks if left alone for more than a few hours. This means, that due to the hour drive between is, he only sees me once or twice every couple of months. (For a few hours at most) then it's back to mommy. And true to his word, he has cancelled dates, been late for work, and even walked out of a restaurant after we ordered, just because she called and said he needed to come home. When we first started dating, I was ok with this. But 4 1/2 years in, after watching most of my friends relationships progress, I'm actually surprised he hasn't realized how he's hurting me. I feel like a cheap hooker, not a girlfriend. Please help

[markscott]

This sounds like a losing proposition. They are manipulating him and using him. As they get older, this situation will get worse, because their needs will increase as they get older, and he will be still taking care of them, plus being manipulated and used.

[Avicenna]

OK, you have a legit complaint here. Talk to him and suggest ways to see each other more often- give him options.

[Asker]

Ok, but I have, several times. I even offered to let him move in with me, and not pay rent till he got adjusted. Every option I give him is impossible due to the needs of his mother. I just dont see how anything could ever change, unless his mother starts doing more. But it's been almost 4 years. I don't know man

[Finchie40]

Go , you deserve someone that wants to be with you not keep you as a convenience, His Mom’s panic attacks shouldn’t be his problem , that’s a lame excuse find someone that makes you a priority

[Iron_Man]

Why would you want to leave are you Jealous he's close to his family? And you want all the attention? Or he needs to make a lot of money to support you

[Anonymous]

Have you looked in to getting someone to help take care of her, or at least the house.. he shouldn't be responsible for taking care of her ALL the time

Also, does he have a job?

[MackToday]

Probably go, he's all screwed up.