Boyfriend Refuses to Forgive Me, Should I Stay or Should I go?

[heyzeuspiece]

I slept with someone he knew before we starting dating, the person I slept with is taller and more handsome (at least to my boyfriend). Not trying to sound like a ass kisser but I think my boyfriend is the most beautiful creature living. I didn’t catch feelings for the other guy that I slept with, he was a boy toy and I was a girl toy. Anyways, I told my now boyfriend that him and I (the other dude) had slept together once (before we even started talking), I told him that I don’t have feelings for him at all, because I really don’t. It was a mistake on my end, one that I’m never going to repeat. But I get where he’s coming from, I would feel insecure if I knew that he slept with someone we both know and see all the time. So, after I told him we slept together he gets upset and refuses to talk to me, instead he’s staring daggers at me, understandable. The other dude comes up and starts talking about work, we have a conversation in front of my boyfriend for about 5 minutes, I’m being friendly and laughing a little, my boyfriend gets pissed. So after he tells me how that conversation affected him, I stopped talking to that dude altogether, no words at all, I’ve been like that for months, not speaking to him and with other coworkers I keep conversations extremely short. His problem is that he thinks I’m too friendly and he hates when I smile at all in front of other people (it’s a nervous habit) he says that in the beginning of our relationship he was okay with me interacting with other people because he trusted me, but after I revealed I had slept with someone else, he says he doesn’t feel special anymore. I’m trying to implement everything he wants in order for him to feel secure. He says he can recall 4-5 instances related to me being “too friendly” and now he’s saying I’ve never done anything for him and that he does more in the relationship, it’s not true I would go out my way everyday to drop him off at work, he lives 17mins away I did this for 3-4 months

[Guy13]

That is sad. Forgiveness means he has to start dealing with it and we do not operate that way. Stuff it down, keep it down, might come out when partying, not crying for anyone and we never resolve it. I don't know your case? but i do know how I/We are about this kind of thing.

[HighValue]

I think the whole problem is that AFTER you were in a relationship, you were still in contact with someone that you had slept with. That messes up the trust in a relationship and once trust is damaged, no matter how much either of you tries, it will never feel the same between you two again.

My advice would be for the future, when you are in a relationship, have NO CONTACT with anyone that you were ever in a relationship or sexual with. That rule should apply to BOTH people in a relationship. Again, once trust is broken, there is no way to ever feel the same again.

[BrookeAZ90]

It's a big red flag and immature of him to be so overly worried about something that happened before you were dating, and he's trying to control you and that will continue. If he hasn't moved on by now, he won't as you've more than reasonably accommodated his feelings. It's likely time to move on or make it clear this all needs to end and you can talk to people at work as you please.

[Shamalien]

Look lets be real, it’s basically they get away from the friend or from eachother

[mandyfire98]

He's a complete insecure train wreck. It doesn't get any better from here it just gets worse. Run

[Avicenna]

Yeah, if he can't work things out with you, you have no choice but to move on

[SiberFox]

You were his, now you're not. He's becoming manipulative through jealousy because you were his good thing, now you're not. there's no real advice to be given here. You have to sit down and discuss it with him amd hope some compromise can be reached otherwise he will stay insecure and jealous.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

If you slept with the other dude before you started dating your boyfriend then you didn't do nothing wrong to your current boyfriend.

I can understand why he's angry but there's nothing you can do about it since he wasn't your boyfriend at that time.

If your boyfriend keeps acting all upset and can't get over it then just move on from him.

The relationship is going to fall apart anyways.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth do women think men want to hear about other guys who fucked you?

I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know anything about any of the guys. You could have slept with 5 or 50 men. I don’t want or need to know and I don’t care. Don’t share it.

[slatyb]

Go back to the first guy. Your boyfriend is an ass.

[nawtee_me]

Honestly there is nothing to forgive. I am sure your boyfriend has slept with other girls before you. we all have a past.

[Shamalien]

It’s understandable he feels as he does. He’s not handling it maturely though

[spartan55]

Wtf it happened before you were together? Your boyfriend is a an absolute pussy.

[Twalli]

leave him, he's too insecure to be dating anyone right now.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should go. And stay single till you've matured a bit.

[Anonymous]

best to end it. something like that he'll never get over and he'll lure it over your head for the rest of your life

[Summeroflove]

Maybe it’s not meant to be