Search Results: divorced family

Just curious... divorce rate (in U. S., anyway) is about 55% these days. Do you parents fall within this statistic?
At what age were you when they divorced?
And do you think they did everything they could to work it out, stay together, or do you think they gave up too soon/easily?

My parents were 4 when they split up. My mum immediately got together with another guy. We did not get along, nor like each other. My dad moved away to find work. It definitely was disjointed and made things difficult. But it was a long time ago, and it made me grow up quicker. They should never have been together, in my opinion. Very different interests, etc. But lots of incompatible people have kids. It's why many of us are here.
It had no bearing on my relationships. I was different from them, in a lot of ways. Got married in my late 20s and am still together, 20 years later. I think each relationship is different, can be measured on its own. What I do miss is a family home to go back to. That's the sad part for me. I am always looking for a sense of home. My environment is very important to me. But that's also partly for other reasons.

Pros and cons of dating a divorcee:

Pros
1. Time – divorce is often the result of a relationship where people rushed in too quickly and didn’t really take sufficient time to get to know each other. It is unlikely that someone who has been through this will want to make the same mistake again so they are more likely to take their time getting to know you.

2. Commitment – having already made a commitment a divorcee will often be much clearer about the realities of that decision and the problems that can arise.

3. Experience – when someone has been through the pain, loss and separation that divorce can entail, it can make them more rounded as a person.


Cons
1. Once bitten – for some divorcees the experience was so painful that they resolve to never make the same mistake again and therefore will not consider remarrying.

2. Emotional baggage – a bad divorce can leave people bitter, angry, resentful and with a skewed view of relationships. While their feelings may be entirely justified it may be impossible to break down the barriers and form a new relationship until they have worked through the issues. It takes time to heal and the more recent the divorce was the more likely it is that they are still working through their feelings.

3. Trust – although it is unfair to be judged because of someone else’s bad behavior, when a person has been badly hurt they are going to be wary of trusting again. You will need to be patient and over time trust will build as the painful past is replaced with healthier experiences in the here and now.

4. Family ties – if there are children from the marriage you have to accept, whatever the age of the children and whether they live with their parent or not, that this match comes as a package. Having children will usually also necessitate contact with the other parent to some degree and this can be difficult when a new relationship is developing.