Search Results: i'm dating two guys

I'm a mixed-race half-Indian, nearly 34yo man, who's only 5'8" tall, and weighs in at only 132lbs (with a lean, athletic build- no matter how hard I train and try to bulk up, my muscles only ever get harder, never any bigger). I have mild Aspergers', and allegedly have a weird, overly formal accent, after having had to relearn how to speak from speech therapy lessons after suffering from selective mutism for more than a year at the age of 4-5, with a deep, nasal voice only making me sound weirder and more freakish. I also have stress-related epilepsy, suffering from regular grand-mal seizures which strike completely without warning, once every 1-2 months on average, and because of this, I'm not legally allowed to drive, and most likely never will be. The combination of these two neural conditions makes it a near certainty that I'm going to die of a stroke, and reduces my predicted life expectancy by 35yrs- meaning that I've definitely got less than half of my life left to live, and may well have less than 18yrs left to live.

I'm also a failed entrepreneur, after the company I founded got forced into liquidation 2yrs ago, saving up towards my second start-up attempt; with my current regular income, from my part-time job, amounting to less than £5k p. a. (and my primary source of income, from online stock market trading, varying wildly from month to month, ranging from +£2k to -£1k).
And I'm still a kissless virgin who's been on a grand total of 4 first dates in his life, and never gotten a second date. As a result, I've grown to become extremely cynical, hopeless and pessimistic about my dating prospects, and have come to firmly believe that I'm one of the ugliest, least attractive, most pathetic, pitiful and worthless men in the world. Shouldn't I just accept that I'll die alone, and that no girl in the world could ever conceivably be remotely attracted to, let alone sexually aroused by, a guy like me?