For someone who does not support feminism, it is VERY COMPLICATED living in a society where feminism is so prominent and is even getting bigger, especially when it comes to interacting with men. Everybody who actually interacts with me on here knows this: I am not a feminist, I was actually raised to be anti-feminist, and the reason I'm so tough about the stupid things guys post on here is because it affects ME indirectly. Very frustrating!
Guys generally do one of two things: 1) Assume all women are feminists. OR 2) Treat every woman like she is a feminist because of its dominance in society.
There's a problem with that. I'm not a feminist, and I won't be treated like one - by either a man or a woman. (I might get a lot of hate from feminists on here but I don't care.) Therefore, it is not hypocritical of me to demand a gentleman.
Next step: Some people say I'm not "proud to be a woman." Google defines feminism as
the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes, which is a good basic definition. Here's why I DON'T support it: I don't want to be equal with a man in the ways that feminists fight for. Right to vote? Yeah, I'm a citizen. Things like that are understandable. But I'm from Latin America, and in my culture if I was a feminist I'd get kicked out, and it's because there's still a sense of morals and ethics. Where I'm from, we WANT to be feminine. For example, you won't ever see me with hairy legs just because I'm lazy and don't have a desire to impress men. It's not about impressing men; it's about being proud to be feminine! (I know I'll get hate here, so if you don't like it get over it. :) ) There IS a line between the genders having equality with one another as far as rights like voting, etc. , and still maintaining their traditional roles. To ME, being proud to be a woman mean supporting your man, standing behind him in all things, and being a loving and nourishing mother. That's why being a man means taking the lead!
You'd think that dating life would be EASIER for me since guys like that I'm not feminist, right? Oh no... absolutely not. For the guys who already know me, yeah it would definitely be easier if I was interested in them. But when I'm always being approached by a guy who treats me like I'm against him, that's annoying!
1. He has the wrong intentions when asking me out.
Yes, guys do this all the time. Not to brag, but I do get approached and asked out a lot, and one thing I have learned to look for up-front is if his intention in courting is really genuine. If I can sense that he's not really looking to make this a good relationship or his attraction to me isn't 100% real, then I just deny him. If he's one who expects me to try to be equal with him and doesn't show any respectful behavior but treats me the way I'd be treated if I'm out with my friends, he won't be dating me. You'd think guys would show that respect simply because I'm not a feminist, right - out of appreciation?
2. He's been involved with something like MGTOW.
I understand the ideas behind MGTOW and the principles of it, yes, but to a woman who is against feminism it looks very stupid. No offense to anybody on that, but it really does come across as a joke. As an anti-feminist woman, I have had guys who were really into things like MGTOW ask me out once they got to know me a little bit and learned my take on feminism and male dominance, and guess what happened: as soon as I found out they were for MGTOW, I let them go. It's not something I would ask when getting to know a man simply because that's rude and I'd prefer to see the positive side first to get to know him, and I understand that him being a part of something like that goes well for him with my sense of anti-feminism, but with something like that you're pretty much saying that we are all feminists. (That's what I get from it, so guys on here, feel free to correct me there if I'm wrong.) My point is... yes, I'm against feminism and gladly against it, BUT I'm still a woman, so if you want to "go your own way" then feel free to do so!
3. He's too fearful of even helping me with something.
I've had this happen too: I was in Target and I dropped a piece of paper, and I had my arms full and nowhere to sit my stuff down on the shelf. The only people on the same aisle as me were two guys who actually just stared at me and then laughed as one of them said, "Women deserve it." And they walked away. I could understand this to an extent if I was a feminist, but the fact is that I'm not. To me, this is very unjust. The intriguing part of that is that I met the same guy (the one who laughed, not the one who said that) at a blood drive a few days later. He politely asked me out, and I politely turned him down. I didn't even bring up the incident, but my stern firm rejection sparked his memory because then he recognized me. At this point honestly I felt like laughing, but to avoid proving my own self wrong and to show that I do respect both genders, I didn't laugh. I give that example to say this: as someone who respects men, I won't allow a man to think he can treat me like an enemy and still have my favor. No sir.
And I didn't plan this out, I've just been asked by some people I communicate with on here a lot to do this take, so I think you get the general message. There are other examples that I can't even think of right now, but I'm going to keep this short. My main point is that Dating life is HARD as a cultural anti-feminist when most people seem to think it's supposed to be easy. It's not easy when the men take us all as one, their enemy. Also consider the fact that yes, it's hypocritical of women who strongly oppose men to demand a leading man because it's contradicting, BUT for those of us who support our men it's perfectly okay and understandable! And when men acknowledge our support instead of automatically assuming we are their enemies, everybody wins :) As the minority now, we anti-feminists can't change society, but we can hold true to ourselves. So if you appreciate our support for you, then please don't give us the same treatment you give the women who would mistreat you as an enemy.
Not all men are sex-crazed pigs, and not all women are haters of men. (By the way, I'm also against "toxic masculinity" - masculinity is what I want in a man. But a topic for another day) Women should be proud of their femininity, and men should be proud of their masculinity. Not reversed! Why women want to be masculine and men give in to being feminine, I do not understand.
And for those of you men who don't make the automatic assumption that women are all against you and actually give the girl a chance to prove her worth before you judge her, THANK YOU!