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Why I'm Against Feminism (And How This Negatively Impacts Me When It Comes To Dating Men)

Yads_Is_Back

For someone who does not support feminism, it is VERY COMPLICATED living in a society where feminism is so prominent and is even getting bigger, especially when it comes to interacting with men. Everybody who actually interacts with me on here knows this: I am not a feminist, I was actually raised to be anti-feminist, and the reason I'm so tough about the stupid things guys post on here is because it affects ME indirectly. Very frustrating!
Guys generally do one of two things: 1) Assume all women are feminists. OR 2) Treat every woman like she is a feminist because of its dominance in society.

There's a problem with that. I'm not a feminist, and I won't be treated like one - by either a man or a woman. (I might get a lot of hate from feminists on here but I don't care.) Therefore, it is not hypocritical of me to demand a gentleman.

Next step: Some people say I'm not "proud to be a woman." Google defines feminism as
the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes, which is a good basic definition. Here's why I DON'T support it: I don't want to be equal with a man in the ways that feminists fight for. Right to vote? Yeah, I'm a citizen. Things like that are understandable. But I'm from Latin America, and in my culture if I was a feminist I'd get kicked out, and it's because there's still a sense of morals and ethics. Where I'm from, we WANT to be feminine. For example, you won't ever see me with hairy legs just because I'm lazy and don't have a desire to impress men. It's not about impressing men; it's about being proud to be feminine! (I know I'll get hate here, so if you don't like it get over it. :) ) There IS a line between the genders having equality with one another as far as rights like voting, etc. , and still maintaining their traditional roles. To ME, being proud to be a woman mean supporting your man, standing behind him in all things, and being a loving and nourishing mother. That's why being a man means taking the lead!

You'd think that dating life would be EASIER for me since guys like that I'm not feminist, right? Oh no... absolutely not. For the guys who already know me, yeah it would definitely be easier if I was interested in them. But when I'm always being approached by a guy who treats me like I'm against him, that's annoying!

Why Im Against Feminism (And How This Negatively Impacts Me When It Comes To Dating Men)

EXAMPLES:

1. He has the wrong intentions when asking me out.
Yes, guys do this all the time. Not to brag, but I do get approached and asked out a lot, and one thing I have learned to look for up-front is if his intention in courting is really genuine. If I can sense that he's not really looking to make this a good relationship or his attraction to me isn't 100% real, then I just deny him. If he's one who expects me to try to be equal with him and doesn't show any respectful behavior but treats me the way I'd be treated if I'm out with my friends, he won't be dating me. You'd think guys would show that respect simply because I'm not a feminist, right - out of appreciation?

2. He's been involved with something like MGTOW.
I understand the ideas behind MGTOW and the principles of it, yes, but to a woman who is against feminism it looks very stupid. No offense to anybody on that, but it really does come across as a joke. As an anti-feminist woman, I have had guys who were really into things like MGTOW ask me out once they got to know me a little bit and learned my take on feminism and male dominance, and guess what happened: as soon as I found out they were for MGTOW, I let them go. It's not something I would ask when getting to know a man simply because that's rude and I'd prefer to see the positive side first to get to know him, and I understand that him being a part of something like that goes well for him with my sense of anti-feminism, but with something like that you're pretty much saying that we are all feminists. (That's what I get from it, so guys on here, feel free to correct me there if I'm wrong.) My point is... yes, I'm against feminism and gladly against it, BUT I'm still a woman, so if you want to "go your own way" then feel free to do so!

3. He's too fearful of even helping me with something.
I've had this happen too: I was in Target and I dropped a piece of paper, and I had my arms full and nowhere to sit my stuff down on the shelf. The only people on the same aisle as me were two guys who actually just stared at me and then laughed as one of them said, "Women deserve it." And they walked away. I could understand this to an extent if I was a feminist, but the fact is that I'm not. To me, this is very unjust. The intriguing part of that is that I met the same guy (the one who laughed, not the one who said that) at a blood drive a few days later. He politely asked me out, and I politely turned him down. I didn't even bring up the incident, but my stern firm rejection sparked his memory because then he recognized me. At this point honestly I felt like laughing, but to avoid proving my own self wrong and to show that I do respect both genders, I didn't laugh. I give that example to say this: as someone who respects men, I won't allow a man to think he can treat me like an enemy and still have my favor. No sir.

Why Im Against Feminism (And How This Negatively Impacts Me When It Comes To Dating Men)

And I didn't plan this out, I've just been asked by some people I communicate with on here a lot to do this take, so I think you get the general message. There are other examples that I can't even think of right now, but I'm going to keep this short. My main point is that Dating life is HARD as a cultural anti-feminist when most people seem to think it's supposed to be easy. It's not easy when the men take us all as one, their enemy. Also consider the fact that yes, it's hypocritical of women who strongly oppose men to demand a leading man because it's contradicting, BUT for those of us who support our men it's perfectly okay and understandable! And when men acknowledge our support instead of automatically assuming we are their enemies, everybody wins :) As the minority now, we anti-feminists can't change society, but we can hold true to ourselves. So if you appreciate our support for you, then please don't give us the same treatment you give the women who would mistreat you as an enemy.

Not all men are sex-crazed pigs, and not all women are haters of men. (By the way, I'm also against "toxic masculinity" - masculinity is what I want in a man. But a topic for another day) Women should be proud of their femininity, and men should be proud of their masculinity. Not reversed! Why women want to be masculine and men give in to being feminine, I do not understand.

And for those of you men who don't make the automatic assumption that women are all against you and actually give the girl a chance to prove her worth before you judge her, THANK YOU!

Why I'm Against Feminism (And How This Negatively Impacts Me When It Comes To Dating Men)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Anonymous
    I really have to laugh at some of the responses here. For example...

    "There is nothing in feminism that forces you to be equal or abandon gender roles or even be less feminine."

    What? I mean... WHAT? What an enormous, stinking, steaming pile of crap that statement is. Of course feminism is against gender roles, and anything else that does not toe the party line about what a "real woman" should be, and should not be, according to feminism. OF COURSE it is!! This is so typical of the hypocrisy and dishonesty of modern feminism.

    @Soteris
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I got a good laugh from the comments from @OddBeMe too, and more importantly, your responses to him (her, actually). You go, Yale girl!

      It is so Odd how feminists say out of one side of their mouths that they support choice, but then out of the other side they disrespect any woman who makes different choices than they do. Hmm...

    • Thank you for addressing the hypocrisy of it! I wanted so badly to get into it, but I knew others would follow them on it, so I was like nahhh I don't wanna argue when most people can see the difference anyway.

  • RickPen
    The proverbial social well has been, and in some ways is perpetually poisoned from both women and men.

    Out of curiosity, would you mind clarifying your definition of a gentleman?

    Also, it is easy to make enemies as a response to someone's actions. While those people may not be worth the effort, harboring ill will or at least a lack of respect seems to be a fruitless endeavor (my perspective regarding your shopping experience).
    Is this still revelant?
    • Gentleman = is generally kind to everybody, positive attitude, and has no problem treating a woman like a lady if she earns the respect of it (such as, for example, holding a door) Doesn't mean he has to open the door for me every time, but it's a commonly used example. Or just straight-up being nice and not assuming I'm his enemy lol

    • RickPen

      Thank you. I would define that as a generally polite, socialized individual. Being nice is an exercise in control, for sure. Being positive, however, I personally find grating. Life is difficult, and I enjoy the candor of heavy discussion.

      I think everyone assumes as a part of survival. We have to possibly assume danger or enmity, and unfortunately I think much of the current feminism provides a mental foundation for the women, while the men focus solely on that instead of living in a cautiously cordial manner. Modern society...

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What Girls & Guys Said

2177
  • SenseiSeptred
    Where I come from all people in some way or another are base, treacherous and ambitious.
  • Hermes-Paris
    How did feminism get so complicated? It seems simple enough. Civil rights for all but it morphed into getting rid of all gender identities and references to anyone's gender. Pure stupidity if you ask me. I like your post and applaud your choice to keep your femininity in tact. I moved out of the states years ago and have lived in much of Latin America. Feminist down there are old school and not very well received. No one talks of a gender-less society. They would just get laughed at. So many of those women though disappear. Many of them are trying to show the abuse and inequality that exists there and help to create a safer place for their daughters. And many of them are murdered by their government or political extremest or cartels. I applaud their bravery and acknowledge their scarifies. Then I come back to the States and I get yelled at for 10 minutes because I said "Ma'am" And I return to my original question. "How did feminism get so complicated?
  • SentientBrick
    I like your my take. Its interesting to see a anti-fem womans perspective on these topics.
  • youknowbetter
    We just need to get completely rid of the phrase “feminism”. Women (and men) who support that radical bullshit really have deep underlying issues than have nothing to do with sexism. But they get poisonous validation out of that crap.

    Egalitarianism is a different story. It’s more transparent and doesn’t leave room for double standards. It demands both equal privileges AND equal responsibilities. I’m all for that. But feminism exclusively focuses on women. It is not “equality” between them
  • Medalistical
    Respect to you on that. Just because one guy is a nasty scumbag who fucks woman and throws them on the side of the road, doesn't mean every guy is like it at all.
  • AdithyaR
    I've never felt feminism is against me.
    Feminazism is though, that's fake feminism that bashes men.
    Real feminism is basically that women have the freedom to choose what the want to do with life, if you want to choose traditional roles or be different, both are acceptable.
    The point is that you don't need to feel pressured to do what's expected of you, for both and women.
    And there are countries like India that need proper feminism because women are still suppressed and treated horribly here, the rape cases alone are alarming.
    It's great that you haven't needed feminism but there women in the world that need it.
    Saying feminism isn't needed cause you didn't need it is like saying world hunget isn't a problem cause you had lunch.
  • saffoler
    MGTOW?
    • Aislin9

      Yeah she is lmfao!

    • Aislin9

      'she' my bad.

    • saffoler

      @Aislin9 Huh? That doesn't answer my question; nor is that a coherent beginning to a new topic (more of a response to a different question).

    • Show All
  • PrTafi
    I am so happy because of your post, that's the best discussion been said here, well done. I respect you.
  • KrakenAttackin
    Thank you for writing this. I think feminist should have to wear an armband or something, so we know which women to "treat equally".
  • Ellie-V
    Ok I don’t agree with your viewpoint but I respect it and you’re free to feel how you do and you’re totally valid. We don’t all have to have the same mentality BUT this boo hoo I can’t get a boyfriend whining is so stupid. Like girl get a grip. I can’t take you seriously when you’re complaining about your dating life.
    But I can take you seriously about issues that actually matter like living in this economy or politics or anything of substance. I don’t care that you’re anti feminist. All the power to you, I love it to be honest... but using it as a tool to mope about your romantic chances is just weak as hell.
    I know I was being mean but this take was annoying. I do love the points you make about our gender differences though.
    • Are you serious or just trolling? Who says I can’t get a boyfriend lol
      I find no challenge in it

    • Ellie-V

      I’m serious, and let me correct myself. You can get a boyfriend. Okay.
      If you find no challenge in it, then I don’t understand why you felt the need to complain about your dating life.
      That aside, I enjoyed your other points ☺️

    • Wasn’t complaining, just addressing an issue. This isn’t about my dating life; it’s about a general topic. But if you’re upset, not my problem 🤷🏻‍♀️I would say I respect your opinion too, but you didn’t really give one. You just wanted to try to insult me 😂

    • Show All
  • ManHater
    Where do I find women like you? Just wow, you kick ass. Finally you see the world for what it is.
  • Shuri
    You sound like you're against egalitarianism, not feminism.
  • NYCQuestions1976
    Nice Take. You can be different and equal at the same time. Well done. 👍
  • Beth12345
    Just one thing, feminism isn't getting bigger it's getting smaller.
    • DaMack999

      Thank goodness. Lol

    • Beth12345

      They are just loud in the media and that makes like if it's getting bigger.

    • DaMack999

      Media isn't the only factor. They are also me2 movement causing a lot of men to go jail for Things that happened a decade ago.

  • Its nice to see that some women are still proponents of tradition.
  • Some will say you're the perfect girl
  • Hunter7754
    good mytake :)
  • Aislin9
    You should read my mytake.
  • R3DthatDude
    You hit the nail on the head
  • Nice.
  • TheEagle_000
    Now this deserves respect.
  • msc545
    Well said!
  • Interesting myTake
  • Anonymous
    As a Christian I already have the desire to help people, but as a Man I have an additional desire to help women. I see myself as protector and provider, but in a lot of urban environment that is tantamount to misogyny. I don't care how I'm labeled. I will and have continued to help people. I only seek ladies as this term carries the weight of nobility. Feminism only festers undeveloped bitter girls, who refuse provisions and expose themselves to attack.
    • YES ^ You're the kind of man I would want

    • Anonymous

      We tend to be in or from rural areas, but depends on the state. Even after we go to college we are called uneducated, as the indoctrination didn't stick or we resisted.

  • Anonymous
    men and women are not equal
  • Anonymous
    You are a true woman and rare gem in this harsh world!
  • Anonymous
    Nice, there is some women who understands it...

    About your issue not to be treated like everyone else, you are minority an very reare.

    It would be easier, if we could recognise you straight away as our life would be much easier...

    About mgtow, why they date it is against their believes...

    I don't understand them..., It is good counter to feminazi, but in my opinion it is just bunch of guys that get 0 attention from girls and not in to men...
  • Anonymous
    As a dude, I obviously have very different reasons to be antifeminist but hear hear!

    I also had the misconception that antifeminist women would have an easier time dating too but what you said makes perfect sense to be honest, I can’t really blame the guys who assume you to be against them. I say this as someone’s who grew up with a toxic mother who thought hitting her kids makes them respect her. Just for the record, I definitely don’t think all women are like her but it does trigger a fight or flight response if a woman shows the right negative mannerisms. Though this reaction is mostly fixed because I have learned that it’s all in my head it still bad enough that I try to stay out of any girl’s way.

    I think what would make you feel better is that, unlike the feminists who have come from a similar situation with men, they want to be proven wrong. If they are anything like me, just giving them the time of day should be enough for them to trust you after a while.
  • Anonymous
    Ur amazing
  • Anonymous
    Wow, I didn't read everything but you're hot, why can't I follow you, are you some sort of admin? 😍
    • No, they don't want me as an admin lol

    • Anonymous

      Lol, why not? But how come you're immune to following?

    • I'm not. You can send a request.
      And because I'm too biased and stubborn to be an admin

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    You're not against feminism, you're against feminazism, learn the difference please ;)
  • Anonymous
    You be you don't let anybody make you what you are not so all ways be you
  • Anonymous
    If that's your story lol...
  • Anonymous
    Why would you not right for equal rights? I am also not really for extreme feminism but I think you should fight to get the same rights as men in areas where it gives sense like wages etc
  • Anonymous
    Fantastic take. Needed to be said.
  • Anonymous
    are you right-leaning or left-leaning when it comes to politics?
    • Tend to be more on the left side because I'm not conservative and I'm DEFINITELY not authoritarian. I'm an anarchist and not shamed to say it.
      But at the same time, I don't really like either party. That's why I don't register to vote. I don't see a dem or a rep whom I'd want to win office, so I just stay out of it.

    • by the way, to clarify... When I say I'm not conservative, I mean about the things most U. S. conservatives are for - like child abuse and all that mess. (I'm from the U. S.) Most U. S. republican conservatives are white men, and I have nothing against them, but I'm not white and most of the things they want to hold on to I disagree with.
      Some things I AM conservative about, such as culture here, but some things I am a lot more liberal about. That's why I'm not political material lol I can't pick one or the other. Both are positive and negative in big ways.

    • Umm, you need to vote. The reason why we keep getting stuck with dumbasses like Trump is because lazy people don't vote. And you have no right to complain about anything until you do vote.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    "And for those of you men who don't make the automatic assumption that women are all against you and actually give the girl a chance to prove her worth before you judge her, THANK YOU!"

    And thank YOU for not being one of the feminists who made all men think women were against them in the first place. Honestly, I am shocked at how many women actually don't understand (or just deny) how fucked up feminism has made gender relations in the West these days. It's despicable.

    I am just glad there are still a few women like you. Not many, but a few, and that gives me hope for humanity.
    • It really is despicable...

    • Anonymous

      Yeah

    • Anonymous

      @Yads_Is_Back Just FYI, you have received responses here from two feminist women who regularly pose as men on GAG. Can you tell who they are?

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    So you’re in support for people choosing how they want to live?
    • As long as it's not ridiculously immoral, yes sir, full support.

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