Why Guys DO NOT Want To Date A Feminist

So, recently I read a myTake called ''Tips For Dating A Feminist''. And the overwhelming reaction from the male community was essentialy 'Why the heck would I want to do that?'

Obviously, there was a pretty fierce backlash from the Feminist community on here about that. So let me just sum some things up for y'all using the 'Tips' from the other post on dating a feminist.

If I use Quotation marks and Italic text, I am directly quoting that take ^

1) "Conversation"

Why Guys DO NOT Want To Date A Feminist

Lets just get this cleared up. There is no such thing as having a 'Conversation' as any form of self respecting male to a Feminist. This so called 'Conversation', Would be nothing more than a one sided subjected rant towards the male, that completely undermines him simply because of the fact he was born with a Disco stick.

Despite what feminists believe, No male with even the slightest form of Dignity, would want to sit through a feminist rant and be on the recieving end to it, let alone wake up everyday having to face it. And the worst part is, everything the guy would say, would IMMEDIATELY be challenged by the chick until she was the Defined 'Winner' of that Discussion.

2) "Your Relationship With Other Women"

We all know how this one would work out ? This is basically a way of saying 'If you ever do anything that has undermined the female race or ever will, your ass is gone''. Sure, Its important to be nice to people, Regardless of their sex, But, Living in fear of ever being disrespectful of a female regardless of the reasons ? Whilst its perfectly okay for Feminist chick to dislike men at her content ?... Seems fair.

3) "The Bill"

This one made me laugh, Im going to directly qoute the other post here

''She won't automatically assume that you've got the bill, but you should at least offer. And if anything, you'll guys at least "go Dutch" and split the bill. And paying for her meal doesn't mean she owes you anything or that there should be strings attached.''

Oh.... So, I see all that 'Equal Rights' Malarkey only suits the chick when its convenient huh?... Nice....

4) "Fighting her battles"

Listen here, I understand, You want to stick up for yourself, And thats cool as heck, Dont get me wrong, I understand that, You are no Damsel in Distress, You are an Independent human being, But damn dude, If someone you care about is in a Situation, You are going do directly refuse our support purely over the fact we have different Genitals to you? Regardless of how much we care for you ?...

What's the point of being in a Relationship if you dont respect them enough to ask for their support ?

5) "Dont try to control her"

Lets get something clear here, As soon as a Feminist says ''Don't try to control me'', Is essentially just her saying ''Don't stop be from being bitchy towards men''. Once again. No guy, Who has even the faintest bit of sanity, Would EVER want to sit down in a Discussion, About how terrible he is just because he's a guy, And all the terrible things that guys do.

And, If you're being a complete Biatch, And acting massively out of line, Were just suppose to sit back and take it ?... Sounds like a healthy relationship -_-.

6) "She's A Boss"

''Just because she goes for what she wants or is assertive and determined that doesn't make her a "bitch," she's a boss!''

No sweetheart, I'm afraid not. You see, Yes, Its cool that women do call the shots just as much as their male partner, But what you're saying is, ''Im the boss''. There is nothing in that, That is at all 'Equal Rights', Thats actively oppressing the male in the relationship.

And once again, I can tell you, There isn't a single male on this planet with any shread of respect for himself who would put up with being Biatched around like that.

7) "Miss Independent"

''You won't have to do everything for her. Yeah she will need you, but she can take care of herself.''

Uhm.... I'm sorry, But...... That, Is completely contradictory towards the 3 Previous points. Do we help her or not !? Then we get yelled at and a big hate speach against men and how incompetent we are for not knowing the answer to my question just then? pfft... No thanks....

If you're so 'Independent' and can take care of yourself so good, Why even date a guy in the first place ? Sounds to me like you would be better dating another Feminist as they are so 'Superior' to the common male? They seem to be much more powerful and stronger mentality then men according to your posts?

8) "Sexist Jokes"

''Don't automatically ask her, "So do you hate men?" Sexist jokes are a definite no no! You'll either have to give them up or say them when she's not around, but she better not find out!''

First off, If she's a self asserting feminist, I wouldn't even need to ask that question.

Secondly, Do you really think, If we were the type of person to make jokes about Feminism, We would ever date one ?..... Yeah... thought not. I think the fear of being Castrated by your own partner would scare us out of ever making a joke....

But, I'm assuming jokes about men are completely A-O-Kay ?....There's those 'Equal Rights' again...

9) Support Her Dreams And Goals

''If she is a feminist she will have likely had goals and dreams before you came along. Take interest in her career and dreams and encourage and support her. Better yet, be a power couple.''

Wait, I thought we weren't suppose to get involved ? you didn't need us remember ? you guys were the boss ? you could support yourself ? you didn't want us to fight your battles ?

Make up your damn mind, You can't pick and choose when you want us to support you. And, Once again, What mentally insane guy, Would actively help you achieve your goals of discrediting his own gender?

10) Still Be A Gentleman

Be a gentleman !? BE A GENTLEMAN !?. Do you know what Gentleman even means !? Let me refresh your memory.

'Noun - Gentleman - a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.'

Now, I don't know if you are aware, but, according to the rules you have stated above sweetheart, the type of man who will meat those rules, is not 'Chivalrous, Courteous or Honorable'.

He will be nothing more, Than a Cowardly sissy, Who has been so massively Immasculated, He is willing to sit down, And gladly listen to, And particpate in arguments that are directly insultive to himself.

The type of man who will go for a Feminist, Is no 'Man', He is rather, A women trapped within a mans body.

Honestly, If you are a Feminist, You cannot expect any man, who is more man than woman, To ever want you. Its impossible. What guy would do that to himself !?

Seriously, Stick to dating chicks. You seem to have a lot more respect and in common with them.

To Summarize

I love how at the end of the take it said this ''Remember, just because she is a feminist that does not mean she is from another planet. At the end of the day, she just wants to be treated as an equal with respect and understanding. You should be treating everyone with respect and understanding anyways!''

''At the end of the day, She just wants to be treated as an equal with respect and understanding''.

But, Its cool for her to bitch about guys, Not pay bills, be the boss in relationships and have near complete supremacy in the relationship over her male partner, And if the male denies to any of these, he's nothing more than a pig ?..... Sure..... The entire belief that a Feminist can date a self respecting gentlemen, Is so hypocrital and laughable against its own arguments... i mean... there is no words for it xD.

It wouldn't even be a Relationship, It would be a one sided debate involving the same two people where the female would ALWAYS have to win.

Anyway, Have a lovely evening anyone, and I hope you enjoyed myTake


Most Helpful Girl

  • HELL YES! Damn boy.. you're a pretty wise guy for a 16 year old. I agree with every point u mentioned!
    Feminists don't really seem to want to be treated with equality, but that they wanna switch roles with men. This whole concept of feminism is exhausting...


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. For one 'female' isn't a race, it's a gender :) let's not confuse that :)
    2. I've been surrounded by many hard core feminists, my cousin sister included who I'm pretty much close too. We can't talk for 30 seconds w/o an argument popping up - mind you not debate, it's an argument. Over time I've learnt to let her steam get out and then it subsides.
    3. There are 2 types of feminists (1) who are judiciously looking into not only individual situations but also work towards larger interests of women (2) those who are dogmatic in their approach so much that they forget the process of what they are fighting for & tend to attack anything / anyone that even calls a woman a female (it's happened with me and I was laughing my guts out much to her chagrin)
    4. I'm a feminist of sorts myself and very concerned about the well being of women especially my daughter :D why just yesterday I tackled a friend for almost hitting her. I'm touchy about children and women's issues BUT the 2nd part of feminists as described above won't just listen to logic cause they get too fixated and opinionated - kind of defensive
    5. My girlfriend is a feminist. I watch her with her friends etc and once I played a game. On one of her casual chat forums they were discussing a topic on sex / sexuality with great pleasure which was considered as in lighter vein. I did the same with some of my male friends the next day, (I'd told the guys to stick to the same line of conversation) the topic went in the same tone as the one she and her friends had. But all of them suddenly lost their cool saying we were degrading women ha ha ha and wouldn't accept explanations of 'on the lighter vein'. Next thing is I show them on the 80" television screen the earlier day's conversation in audio visual (the drawing room is equipped with AV cctv lol, they know it) and they went quiet for a short while & then started arguing again that men think different than women lol In such a case they are dogmatic & are fighting defensive. I don't deem such ones as true feminists
    6. Chivalry is fine by me, I respect it if the girl wants to go Dutch else I'm more than happy to pay :)
    7. Feminism apart the women you describe aren't feminists on any grounds. True feminists just stand up for women and their dignity, they aren't dogmatic on fixations :)
    8. Being dogmatic about something is what contorts it and expect it to happen in any sphere
    9. Bottomline the ones you are talking about aren't feminists in any manner :)


Join the discussion

What Girls Said 15

  • the thing about most feminists is that they dont really care about equality. they care about whats going to benefit them. lets be honest here. men and women are NOT the same. i have no shame in admitting that a man is stronger than me physically. we can both be super smart and have well paying jobs but he will always be physically stronger than me. maybe even mentally and emotionally. i personally love feeling protected by a guy. i wanna be HIS lady not some chick that he doesn't do anything for. i get scared and like to be held but that doesn't make me weak. im sorry but feminists need to focus on women in poor countries being treated like crap not about bleeding everywhere because of "tampon rape" or freeing their nipples. there is nothing wrong with being gentle and feminine.

    • Kind of agree with you there, except I don't think all feminist are extremist. I wish more women realized that equality doesn't equal putting men on a pedestal and aspiring to be men, you can't be equal and be strong and emphasize the qualities that come with being a woman, that's way more powerful to me lol

    • you can be* sorry

    • @girlslie its just that thats all that people are seeing. we're seeing women trying to show their nipples and bleed without using tampons and pads. we dont see women in poor countries being put in school. i guess if they actually fought for equality and not just whats best for women they would be respected more. i dont hate feminists i just dont agree with all of their opinions.

  • This is so childish, the view that all feminists are extremist assholes is suuuuch an overreaction. Equality and feminism have helped keep my relationship strong and conflict free. Inequality is far too complicated and it's just a tiresome power struggle where the couple is always screaming and fighting. The feminist community outreach group my boyfriend and I am part of recently campaigned to build a men's shelter for abused or troubled men and boys. But we must just HATE men soooo much if we want to keep them safe and alive! Men who complain that feminists hate them are the men who sit on their ass and whine on the internet, meanwhile feminist organizations are out in the real world actually creating real and meaningful change.
    feminism is not this big scary thing that's out to get you, you can't have true equality without helping everyone. It's called feminism because women still have too be raised up to reach equality... but if we can help some men's issues too on the way there then why the hell not!

    • It's conflict free because you're dating a sissy.

    • if you define a "sissy" as someone who is able to be a leader and take charge when needed but doesn't feel the need to dominate and control the women in his life then yeah that's my boyfriend :)

  • ok so if you're in a relationship with a woman (who is not a feminist.) what is your expectation and how do you want things to go.

    manufacturing crazy reactions and saying you're against us doesn't really tell us what you really want.

    so point by point, what would you like to see?

    1) "Conversation" What kinds of conversations do you want. Whats 'not allowed'? Do you have subjects that are just off the table? ranting isn't a content its a style. you use ranting as a way to make content look bad. as person can have a very peaceful conversation about a subject you dont want to discuss.

    2) "Your Relationship With Other Women" how do you want to treat women? (a lot of guys want freedom to be disrespectful and not be accountable bc 'crazy feminists')

    3) "The Bill" how do you want the bill to be taken care of? (a lot of guys freak when women offer to pay. are you one of them?)

    4) "Fighting her battles" do you ask her for what you call 'support'? or do you refuse it bc you're a 'man' (a lot of guys do)?

    5) "Dont try to control her" What if she just means dont try to control her (a lot of guys do think its their place to control relationships.) do you want to be controlled? i think its pretty human to want personal sovereignty. if someone says dont try to control me., you're probably acting as if you're trying to control them,.

    6) "She's A Boss" have you ever responded to the 100s of posts where men say they ARE the boss of the relationship bc they are mean? what can you say tp that bc saying i won't date a feminist would;dint get the message across. if a woman is a feminist when she arbitrarily says shyers the boss, whats a guy (bc usually people say he's a 'man'.. which is probably where the backlash came from. rejecting being biased around, and all. and its cool you think its cool if women go for what they want, but do you really? like if she happens to be more powerful than you just bc she is not bc she's insisting she is, would you stay or break up? bc when guys say she's not the boss they dont usually medan they themselves shouldn't be. theyll rationalize it with stories of hunters and gatherers.. probably a mammoth in there somewhere and babies by the fire cave women knitting booties... and i dont see many protests on here when guys talk that way., me, i think dignity is an excellent word. for everyone. but you dont see it used much when referring to women.)

    7) "Miss Independent" So, what 'help

    • what help do you ask for on a daily basis for things you need to accomplish from your girlfriend. as according to you to not ask or help means a person has no right to be in a relationship. im glad you brought up asking for help, m bc most guys won't openly admit they need help.. id love to hear about the kinds of help you ask your girlfriend for:)

      "Sexist Jokes" Hold up im confused. Are you saying someone is crazy bc they dont think sexist jokes are funny. haven't you just gone on and on about unfair ways in which feminists are jumping to conclusions about men and go on to state various ways in which women are not permitted to talk to you as a man... bc its insulting degrading offensive undignified and irritating... but a woman is sexist if she feels the same way about her dignity and doesn't want to be degraded for your pleasure? do you genuinely not see the hypocrisy or is it you dont care?

      9) Support Her Dreams And Goals. mhm this is what partners typically do.

    • Show All
    • Looks like i've clearly pissed off a feminazi here, Look, i'm not going to talk to you. Not because i don't value your opinion or anything, just because iv'e spoken to fucking hundreds of people like you, and quite frankly, i can't be bothered with a 1 sided rant of just you challenging every single fucking thing i say just because you hate men.
      ~Have a nice day.

    • Damn he was right.

  • lol, I think feminist is such a broad term though and I think people confuse extremist with feminism a lot. I consider myself a feminist I guess because I see lots of expectations put on women first hand because i'm a woman obviously and i'm against society forcing that on women/girls and men also and I wish that would change. I also think feminism is needed in other countries desperately.

    I get that it's not fun to date people who have a chip on their shoulder or a point to prove all of the time, I don't like men like that either but to be honest most of the things you listed, come from women and people who aren't feminist as well and none of it is healthy for a relationship, so i'm confused why it's directed towards feminist the most lol

    These kinds of things are making women shy away from calling themselves feminist but the way I see it, if they're none of those things and act none of those ways, if they actually care about changing society's standards and expectations and care about other women in other all countries then we shouldn't abandon something just because extremist give us a bad name and because people think it's a popular thing to hate now. I'm not going to back down from something I feel strongly about and that I think is still needed, just because it's a popular thing to hate now because I think a lot still needs to change for both genders honestly.

    • Yeah, I get ya, this take was morely aimed at the hardcore feminist element

    • Show All
    • Yeah, it's annoying for me, being asexual and all, and going up to a chick, and she thinks I want to rape and oppress her and shit, and it's like dude, I wouldn't bang you even if you were offering xD

  • This post really just let's me know you've never dated a feminist and have kind of worked up an idea of how it will actually be.
    Had a dad and we had feminism des issuing all the time and I greatly enjoyed them. I'm also on here all the time and I let the other person say what they want.
    It's fine to look at other women. Everyone looks just try not I stare or gawk. Also just try not to say anything rude. We all say something unintentionally rude sometimes but just generally try to be a nice person.
    Everyone knows just split the bill. Guys go ballistic over this. I offer to pay he says "no I got it". I say I'm fine, he continues to offer, I say I'm fine again and he once again offers until eventually he caves. But if he does pay because I cave and then we don't see each other again I'm the jerk even though he offered, which doesn't really make sense.(also I've only not payed twice)
    I've never cruelly seem someone get in a fight like that. I've seen a lot of guys stepping into fights that they instigated them self. I've never seen a another person start a fight then another person have to join in. Also who actually fist fights now a days.
    My dad was kind of a controlling guys so I understand what she means. Even when I said "I got it" he kept insisting on helping me and I wanted to do it myself. This also plays into a woman saying let's go Dutch yet he keeps insisting even when you say your fine. I'm not sure if it's happened to you but when someone keeps trying to help you when your trying to do it yourself feels like they're saying they think you can do it on your own. And I think feeling independent in any relationship is important, feminist or not.
    I feel you've mienterpeeted her sarcasm. Guys do cool things and go "I'm boss" all the time. It doesn't mean they really think they control everything it's just a funny way to say your awesome. I don't think anyone would actually go "I'm the boss of this relationship".
    Have you been in a relationship before? Obviously you help each other but sometimes you need to let them do their own thing and sink and swim on their own. That doesn't sound like a feminist relationship thing but rather a common sense relationship thing. Everyone needs room to be their own person in a relationship.
    Once again support is something kinda all relationships need. Once gain you should know that there are times to be in a supportive and times to let them be an individual. Again this makes me question whether you've been in a

    • Relationship.
      Why not be a gentleman I try I be a lady. You can still open doors for people and respect women. And I think you can be a lady and yet not be a lap dog. You should try to be nice to your partner and especially gracious but you should believe their able to do their own stuff. Once again my dad (though he was controlling sometimes) he knew I was a person. He opened doors for me but he new that I could still follow my dreams. I just honestly don't think you know how relationships work.
      The point of that article was to show that you can still assist your partner but you have to have a balance if being able to understand their an individual capable of functioning in the world without another person. And that you help them because you love them not because they're incapable. I really don't understand how you could t see that.

  • So I still don't see why a guy wouldn't date a real feminist... I just see excuses to avoid dating a bitch. I'm a feminist and the three or four guys I've seriously dated have never had an issue with our conversations or how we handled things together. Then again guess a 16 year old boy can't be expected to know anything about the true feminist movement which is happening quietly and intelligently. You only see the medias blown up version of what they are.

    • Feminists movement... happening... intelligently?

      Mutually exclusive.

  • This take was just as obnoxious as the one you're whining about, except yours has a dash of bitterness added.

    Congrats to both of you for being dildoes.

  • Hahahaha

    Hmmmmm... ALL people who are extremely obsessed with a certain topic will be weird and maybe even crazy... Feminists - in the rawest form of the word just believe in equality... In the necessity for equality that is.

    If someone only talks about that one thing and lets that thing control their lives, no matter what it is - it's going to be a turn off.

  • You might need to look up feminism. Women like that aren't feminists, they're bitches. Whatever I can do, he can do, visa versa. My boyfriend and I have a mutual respect for each other, we take turns to pay for things, I don't bitch to him about how he's apparently a dick just because he has one. The feminism stays out of the relationship. As long as he respects me and I respect him, I have no reason to have a feminist rant at him every day. Don't stereotype us, boy.

  • you have an extremely distorted view of feminism to spout such nonsense. just because someone identifies as a feminist does not mean it necessarily defines them. I probably talk about feminist issues about 1% of the time and when i do, it's normally a casual discussion. I have many other things to talk about, and to dismiss a whole group of people based on your stereotypes of a radical feminist is quite frankly absurd. you are the one whole will be missing out on some intelligent, funny and beautiful women.

  • Lol I would go even further and add: what makes some women more feminist than others? Except for the bimbos, sluts, etc. Aren't we all feminists, since we are alreadu self-respecting females?
    The word feminism that people apply nowadays confuses me a lot. Is feminism a synonim for bitchiness and lack of getting laid? Lol

  • Hahahahahaha. I don't want to date you either. Bye.

  • I was relieved when I saw the writer was 16. Not everyone can be mature at a young age...

  • They don't exist at your age. Maybe later years.

  • Truth. Soo true


What Guys Said 16

  • Riggers,

    I went and read the original post you referenced. I have to agree, it did have a lot of attitude. It turned me off and I consider myself a feminist!

    I understand your reaction to the article but look at the responses of young women on GAG. Most of them like being feminine and enjoy men but they also want same opportunities and rewards as you. There is nothing wrong with that, is there?

    I think one of the biggest mistakes feminists made is allowing radicals and lesbians to dictate policy in the movement. The approach they take is not helpful to the average woman or to gender relations.

  • I agree with this all. I would never date a Feminist.

    Society is becoming more and more feminised and it's dragging men like us down with it.

    Feminists are going to have to wait a few million years until the male gene disappears - guess they'll have to make do with us till then ;)

  • Just don't date one of the few people out there who call themselves feminists, but actually believe in supremacy rather than equality. The number of people who truly use feminism as a means to control men are few, and most of those regularly make an ass out of themselves. (IE Anita Sarkeesian, Chanty Binx).

    In my mind, the biggest issue we see with the Feminist movement is the fact that it's a group fighting that claims to be for equality for all, but named after only one.

    I'm an egalitarian because I think everyone, whether they are equal or not, needs to be held in equal regard in the view of the various faucets of the legal system.

    The fact is, we aren't all the same, and that's ok. The same doesn't mean equal.

  • Y'know, it's better to just ignore take that piss you off or just leave a snide comment at the most instead of posting bitter revenge Takes.

  • The spelling mistakes made me not take this seriously

  • You might want to do some research on what feminism has done to Sweden.
    Terrible. couldn't agree more with you !

    Title " What happened to the vikings? "

  • i like it dude! very funny xD

  • The Rock looks weird with hair, but on topic lol. I think what the TC is getting at is that feminist belief system is flawed which means the relationship can't work. For example it's been proven that men and women are mentally different. Feminist belief system thinks we are equal minded. See right there that alone will start a debate war. Feminism doesn't take biology and science into account. Because of this many debates are one sided and she'll believe she's always right.

  • Oh but I do want to date a feminist

  • I just don't want to date a girl who thinks that bathing and shaving is a waste of valuable whining time.

  • I think your confused between the Feminazi (we need a better term for this) and the feminist which really does promote serious equality between you two.

  • 1, 2, and 5 are true, especially 1 and 2.

    I must ask though, why the random capitalization of words throughout the take?

  • Feminists are sexist bitches most of the time.

  • Dating a feminist could start an explosion.

  • What a stupid take! I'm never going to get those 2 seconds back!