There is a shortage of couples and it's more obvious on this site than anywhere else. But unlike most things on GAG the trend seems to stay true to real life. So I want to offer my perspective on why guys aren't really into dating anymore and show you what you can do. Now, it's not uncommon for people on here to assume automatically that these are all my opinions. While I may take a very similar stance to most of these things personally, this take it meant to describe what I see in other guys so that girls can understand them better. And also so that guys can identify some of these traits in themselves and hopefully reflect.
Divorce
Off to a bad start
My dad was divorced twice. My mom abused and never respected him and my stepmom treated him like a sugar daddy. I saw that he had his problems but what really was scary about the divorce is that my father; a man who was so financially responsible who worked harder than anyone I ever meet, had to go into bankruptcy because the law never forced my mom to sell the house like she was supposed to. She never paid any of the bills, even though my dad was forced to pay some of them. My mom even left a good paying job largely because she could.
This is something we see a lot. The woman divorces the man, and gets so much of his money and assets that they go broke. I've seen it crush people's spirits to a point where they became a shadow of who they once were.
That's scary and a reason to question what the point of dating actually is.
People Are Unreasonable
What a surprise
I listen to people tell me about their relationship problems all the time. I always end up stunned by some of the stories I get. This goes for girls AND guys. They'll describe something kinda wrong that their partner did to them and then they react in a super disrespectful way and wonder why things are only getting worse.
Couple has been panning on going to dinner for the past couple days:
Girl want's to go to a karaoke bar
Guy had a hard day at work and wants to go somewhere quiet for dinner
Girl get's mad, calls the man selfish and goes to the karaoke bar with her friends.
Guy feels abandoned and even more stressed.
Guys can already see these situations coming, so they preemptively expect the drama to turn what was once a loving relationship into a headache. A girl may do some pretty mean things to you just because she knows you're emotionally invested in her which can really suck.
In other words, people are unwilling to give things up for each other.
Guys Have Feelings Too (AAWWWW)
Shut the fuck up!
Girls are very quick to say that guys are emotionless but it takes longer for men to really care about a girl. A girl needs to become an important part of a man's life for him to really love her and once that happens, guys will feel very strongly for their girl. (provided he respects you) Sometimes guys go through breakups that really suck bad for them. They get abandoned by someone who was supposed to be their best friend during a time when they really need a companion.
Sometimes a guy can really be into a girl and think everything is going so well and next thing you know, she cheats or you find that she has no respect for you anymore, she leaves you without an explanation.
These are things that can scar anyone, not just a guy but girls too and I think the frequency of guys getting burnt real hard is going up. A bad breakup totally changes what you want, most people just want to have sex until they feel better.
Some guys never recover because they never get what they're looking for and they begin to think that no one want's anything to do with them. So they lose their confidence in dating. This is where a lot of your bitter types/players come from. Not the kind to say what they're all about upfront but the ones who trick girls into thinking they love the guy.
Relationships Are Ambiguous
The inter-workings of dating is an enigma . . .
What, really is the point of dating? Is it to have someone to watch tv on the couch with while you run your hands through eachother's hair? Is it so that life doesn't become dull and there's always someone to have an adventure with? Is the point of a relationship supposed to be that you have someone looking out for you? Is it a sex thing and we add these other meanings for no reason? Does it make me weak to want these things? Can't I get them in other ways? How much of these things do I get for all the bad that I see in other relationships. Why does it work for other people but not me? I don't know.
These are some of the things that run through a lot of guys minds who don't want to date. They may be a little socially awkward or sexually depraved or possibly emotionally scared. When people are depressed they become pessimistic causing them to develop self destructive tendencies. Yes, even if to you think they don't look like it.
Wow, That Sounds Terrible
What the fuck do I do?
At this point, you might be saying to yourself "Shit, is it really that bad?" Yes and no. As gloomy and depressing as this sounds, it's nowhere near as bad as it seems. Guys still want to find love and they still want to have someone they can feel especially accepted by. They want someone who shares their interests and most importantly, someone they can trust and rely on.
At some point, I'll probably talk about some of the things girls can do to find quality relationships as well as what guys should know about recognizing a girl worth keeping.
Most Helpful Opinions