Why I'm Not a Feminist

Why am I not a feminist you may ask? I believe in equal pay, equal opportunity, equal rights across the board. I even think, overall, women are stronger than men. Maybe not physically, but mentally and emotionally, yes. I think that sexual harassment is a real issue, sexual assault is a horrible crime that needs to stop, and I do understand the overwhelming majority of victims of sexual harassment and crimes are women. I fully understand that.

So, what makes me not a feminist? The Webster Dictionary def-..... yeah yeah yeah no one cares. That's over the top hacky and stupid. Every feminist with a blog does that horseshit. I'm not going to do that. But, feminism is supposed to be a movement for equality among the gender. "Feminism" the word implies to me that in order to be equal, we have to fight for women, because they aren't treated equally to men. And actually, for the most part, I kind of agree with that.

So, for the third freaking time, why do I claim to not be a feminist? Because of the fact that there are men who are not being treated fairly because of the fact that they are men.

How does that happen? Well, turn on the television during the day during the work week. Talk shows hosted by women like The Talk, The View, these shows where women are usually the hosts, the overwhelming majority of the audience are women, and an overwhelming majority of the guests are women.

These women jump up and support women who were battered, raped, assaulted, cheated on, all the terrible things that happens to women. I'm 100% on board with them doing that, too. Yeah, lets call out the piece of shit men who do these things.

"Hey, Brewmaster531, you aren't getting to the point!" Alright, alright. Sorry. The issue I take is, there are men who are wronged, too. And I'm not talking about the whole "hey, men are raped and assaulted and sexually harassed". Most people know that. My thing is, men are wronged in the sense that they get wrongfully accused. Not all of the claims against men are false, not most, not half, not even a quarter. Not even 10% of the time are they false. But nonetheless, false claims occur. That's no secret. It may be a small amount, but they happen. But you know what doesn't occur? Major coverage of these false claims.

When a women is attacked, she and her attacker is on the news for weeks, major day time talk shows talk about it, bloggers blog, vloggers vlog, GaGers ask questions and give MyTakes (this MyTake isn't in direct response to any incident, just something that was on my mind). I have no issue with that. If a man is a piece of shit that beats, batters, assaults, rapes, and is physically, sexually and emotionally abusive, he deserves the worst of the worst. But, when a woman falsely accuse a man of these things, there is a much different response by the media and the public as a whole. There isn't any major vlog or blog, there is at most one news segment for 5 minutes about it on the news, GaGers don't ask questions or give MyTakes, and these talk shows don't call out the women who lied or bring on the wrongfully accused. This is why I'm not a feminist. This is unequal, unfair treatment towards men.

You will have a rough day if you suggest a woman has falsely accused a man of one of the previously stated crimes. Everyone jumps down your throat if you suggest that she may not be telling the truth. I've read many times we should never assume she's lying. I agree with that, but we've also been told we should believe her the moment she says it. I don't agree with that. I believe in this situation, we need due process (is that how I'm supposed to word it? I don't know, sorry). But, forget about due process, forget about the legality of it all. My issue is how we cover these issues. We don't. We do not address those who have been falsely accused, at least not for a very long time. We don't see the talk shows bringing up the fact that there was a false accusation.

If feminism made it a priority to make sure the wrongly accused were covered in the public eye and the one who made the false accusation was held responsible for what she has done, I would be a feminist. But the fact is, no one holds the accuser responsible and no one gives the wrongfully accused an opportunity to tell their story.

Feminism also doesn't address women taking advantage of men. They don't address that we've made an over correction in which now instead of letting men get away with doing terrible things to women, we don't hold women responsible for their actions. Take for example this story

The woman in this story cheats on her husband, doesn't tell her husband, gets pregnant with the man she's cheating with, her husband doesn't know better, thinks the kid is his, and plays daddy to the daughter he thought was his. But then, it's revealed he isn't the father. The man doesn't want to pay for this kid's child support and the real father and woman are together. But because he already signed up to be dad, he cannot get out of paying unless the mother agrees. The state has said that if he doesn't keep making payments to the mother of not his daughter, he will go to jail. Now, this is an issue that needs to be brought up to congress so that this doesn't happen anymore. But, why isn't stuff like this covered all over the place? Why doesn't this issue get a spot on 60 Minutes? Why don't those laides on these talk shows address this issue? Why don't feminists who claim to be FOR EQUALITY of the genders cover this in their blogs and vlogs? Many people claim that this isn't that common, but the truth is, this shit happens all the time all over the world and it's never covered.

Another reason I'm not a feminist is because I don't agree with their tactics of getting their way. Constantly playing victim. That's all I ever see feminists do. They play the victim. That's what these blogs and vlogs do and that's what these parades and marches do. They are all about how women are treated poorly. I agree, that needs to be addressed and handled and legislation needs to be made to end it, but if all that is being done is playing the victim, nothing gets done. Do something. Those who participated in the force to end slavery did something other than play victim. Those who fought for women's rights to vote did something other than play victim. Those who fought for civil rights did something other than play victim. Those who fought for gays' rights to get married and adopt did something other than play victim. And this isn't a feminist thing, it's a generation thing. For whatever reason, millennials (I'm one, too, I know I'm no different) like to play victim. Somewhere along the line, someone showed millennials you don't have to work for change. You only have to complain that it isn't fair. That's not how change works.

I agree with the majority of feminism's philosophy. I know that in some areas of the western world, women are treated differently just because they are women, and that should not be the case. Women should be paid equally, they should have equally opportunity in the workforce and on every corporate ladder, and their rapists, harassers, and abusers should be punished severely and I do think far too often men who commit heinous crimes against women aren't held accountable severely enough. But, I am not a feminist because of the way women who wrongfully accuse men aren't held nearly as accountable as they should be by the media and the public, the men who are wrongfully accused aren't accommodated enough, women who use the law that is sometimes skewed in the favor of women to their advantage and leaving men to be unfairly taken from, and the feminist movement seems to be more about complaining than it is about actually moving towards a goal.


Most Helpful Girls

  • The answer is simple - because you're a chauvinist, you don't know what feminism is, and you don't care.

    • Where in my article did it imply that I was a chauvinist? I sincerely don't want to be viewed as a chauvinist, so please help me out. Or in your small world are the only choices feminist or chauvinist? I was very respectful, I did not insult woman or feminism, I simply stated that I disagree and why, but then you come here and call me a chauvinist. I do know what feminism is, I used to identify as one, but when I realized it was not what it said it was, and that it was little more than a movement that encourages women to play the victim, I stopped being a feminist. People still say I am one, because I am for the equality of the sexes, but I think I am not one because I do not agree with the direction feminists are trying to take the world.

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    • I selected this as MHO because of the discussion that followed in the comments

    • Thank you very much :)

  • I will admit, I kinda skim read most of it, but I get the general idea of what you are saying and I agree. Modern feminism or "3rd wave feminism" is an unnecessary movement that breeds hate speech and thought police as far as I'm concerned. Thing is, men and women are not equal. We are very different in anatomy, brain things and just about everything. Does that mean they should be treated unequally? Well of course not. But for some reason, the ones claiming to be fighting for equality are creating inequality and treat people different based on gender and skin colour. So, yeh. Not a feminist either.

    • Equality of Opportunity vs. Equality of Outcome
      Many modern feminists seem to think that true equality is when every outcome is 50-50, which will never happen unless you take away individual freedom. If everyone has the same opportunities in life, which I do think is the case in the west, then men and women will in general make different decisions, because, like you mentioned, we are different, we have different interested, we think differently and make different choices. That's not a bad thing. There's a reason natural selection made us that way. It's an advantage to have half of the herd see things one way and handle one thing while the other half takes care of other things. It's a lot more efficient that way. Both masculinity and femininity are needed, and you shouldn't be called a sexist just by pointing out scientific facts. As long as no one is judged for not fitting into these general differences, and as long as both are valued equally, then it's not a problem.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Thank you sir. This is an excellent MyTake. I agree with most of your points. But I will say that I believe more than 10% of rape accusations are false. Most rape charges are dropped due to lack of evidence. Feminists will tell you that is proof that most rapists get off the hook, but the fact is in many of those cases there was no evidence because there was no rape. My brother in law, who is a detective on the police force in a major US city, tells me it's shocking how many false rape accusations they see every week. It's much higher than 10%.

    I totally agree with you about "fathers" getting getting taken advantage of and cheated by women and the state, and there is little or no justice or compassion of those guys. The typical feminist mentality is "hey, you stuck you dick in her so you got what you deserved". Seriously?

    The victim mentality of feminists is just disgusting and appalling. That's all I have to say about that.

    I thing most feminists actually believe they are being fair and actually helping men, but they're not. They have no clue that they see the world through an extremely gynocentric lens, so they're incapable of recognizing their own bias and sexism.


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What Girls Said 10

  • Ok, so, when numerous women all assert that the same man has abused them over a number of decades without reprise, and some guy comes out and says "oh, all 150 of them are all making it up" we SHOULDN'T roast that man 9 ways to Sunday?

    When, "well, women make false accusations" is used to derail every conversation women are trying to have about being sexuallt abused and harassed, we do get pretty tired of hearing it.

    Partially because, yes we know false allegations happen, and we know they are as damaging to feminism as they are to the men who have their lives picked apart and fucked over because of it. But it never gets brought up as a separate topic that needs it's own attention. It's only thrown in the faces of women who are discussing their real experiences, and it's dehumanizing. Plus it also betrays a truth most men won't admit. It's a way for that man to say "we don't care about what is happening to women. We know most of you get sexually harassed or abused at some point, and we'd really like it if you'd just shut up and be flattered." Of course, it is not ONLY these things, but it is often enough that we've come to discount the men too.

    The problem is, you aren't party to what feminists are actually doing. It's actually feminists that researched and figured out how often false allegations occur. We know it's a problem that holds us ALL back from talking about the larger problem. Feminists don't think false accusations are ok. Because of the nature of false allegations though, it's not really very easy to tell if it was just a different interpretation of the same event, or a full fabrication, it's hard to tell if it was a purposeful trick to do harm to the guy, or a sincere feeling that one was abused in some way. Now, if you can figure out how to iron those things out so that only people who are actually making a false allegation are punished, I really don't have a problem with that. The problem of false allegations, like the problem of sexual abuse, is not very simple and doesn't seem to have one simple solution.

    I think one thing happening in the US will actually help with some of this. It's now simply illegal to have sex with someone who is too intoxicated to consent, so there will be less of that "but she said yes" and more of "drunk people can't be trusted to remember if they said yes or not, so don't mess with them at all".

    I don't think you're wrong for not liking the feminists who claim that there is no such thing though.

    • I don't think you are wrong to raise the issue. It IS an issue. And I think feminists who have talked like men are all one way need to be open to seeing men when they are victims too. I think we're in a trend right now with more feminists being willing to talk about these things too.

      I don't think it's a reason to toss feminism out the window though. We all have to be willing to talk about the hard things that we don't want to acknowledge, men and women. Maybe not in the middle of a rally for something else, but we need to be able to talk to each other.

      I'm a feminist. You can talk to me. I welcome you to. DM me if you like.

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    • That's not equaliy. And it's not a step towards equality. In that area, we've completely flipped the ones who get screwed. Someone is still being wronged in that situation. This isn't just a feminist issue, it happens everywhere in the political and social world, but nonetheless, it occurs in the feminist discussion. We completely swing around our issue. With the newest thing with all these sexual harassment cases. Those incidents should have never happened, the men deserved to be fired, and I'm even okay with all this coming out in like a 2 month time span. But now, women are using it to their advantage. Sexual harassment in the work place is basically anything that makes someone uncomfortable through words, visuals and physical touch. Fine. But let's say I'm at work and a woman coworker who is my friend is still struggling to get over having to put her dog down...

    • ... if I put my hand on her shoulder as a gesture of kindness, and someone who doesn't like me sees it, they can claim they were sexually harassed, and there is little I can do to prevent myself from getting fired. And that almost exact thing happened to a friend of mine. He was touching a girl's hand, in a way that wasn't suggestive or sexual. Because a coworker doesn't like him, a sexual harassment claim was made, and now he's out of a job. Had it for almost 10 years. And again, my issue isn't this stuff happens. My issue is it's not acknowledged by people who claim to be for equaliy. I already heard "it's not all women. I certainly don't approve". I never thought you did approve. But there is no major acknowledgement. No major discussion coming out of the same mouth that said "I'm for equality of the genders".

  • This is a distraction from the real issue of systemic inequality. You are too young to know how bad it was in the past, so you don't understand the importance of maintaing progress. For example, when grandmother was in school, women had two options: being a teacher or being a nurse. That's it.

    She chose nursing and my grandfather's family look down on her because they considered it a disgusting profession. Of course she quit working when she was married. She never worked outside the home again. In one sense she was lucky that she was always supported, but her personality was always somewhat repressed until my grandfather died in his 80's and suddenly we found out what a funny, dynamic person she was.

    My mother wanted to be a botanist. She told me that she didn't even try because in the sixties women didn't become scientists. She knew one woman who had gotten an engineering degree but no one would hire her.

    I graduated college in the 90s with a master's degree in statistics and I work for a marketing company. I still don't feel that I'm considered equal to my male counterparts, but I'm doing way better than my mother or grandmother.

    Stop watching talk shows. Try watching black and white movies or TV shows like I Love Lucy, and see how demeaning they are. How they imply that women are brainless or only interested in shopping and babies.

    Recently I saw a movie called "The Long Long Trailer, " a comedy starring Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball as a young married couple. I remember it being one of my favorite movies when I was younger. I thought it was so funny. Now, watching it as a grown up, I was saddened and appalled by the way that he treats her and the way that she LETS him treat her.

    The most important part of feminism is that it got women to stop thinking of themselves as well as un-intelligent and as sex objects. I still battle some of those perceptions in my own mind from my very traditional upbringing.

    I do think that there are some unfairnesses in way the pendulum has swung back now, but I also think this is a very necessary purging and I'm hoping that from now on sexual assault will be treated as the crime it is as a matter of course. Frankly I'm appalled at how much has happened that people didn't talk about, still in this century, when I thought we'd made so much progress.

    Also keep in mind that those big news stories have a lot of information behind them that isn't publicly released. No one is being fired on the basis of a mere rumor.

    • I don't take any issue with what you said. As I tried to make clear, I agree with most feminism philosophy. What I disagree with is the lack of coverage, news and social coverage, of men being treated poorly and unfairly just because they are men. I'm not even bothered by the fact that those injustices happen. I'm bothered by the amount of care we put into those situations. There are thousands upon thousands of feminism vlogs, blogs, websites, and groups. The majority of the westernized world applaud them for doing what they do, as they should. But if there is a man or a group of men doing the same thing but in favor for men's rights legally and socially, they are considered sexist, they don't get a bunch of readers and viewers on their stuff, and their cause can hardly be seen in the news or newsfeeds. The lack of coverage, the lack of care about men wronged because they are men was the main reason behind my article.

  • Had this conversation with my boyfriend today (more a couple of lines than a conversation). He said something along the lines of "guys are scared to get in the elevator with you" it was in the context of 'im the luckiest guy on Earth' but I said "are they?" He responded, I was just thinking about what a friend was telling me earlier about how he leaves an elevator the second a woman gets in because he doesn't want to lose his job over some bitch" I looked at him and said "well that's horseshit. Your friend is afraid, he was afraid before any of this, this just gave him something else to blame his fear on.

    The guys at work (I work on an all male team) all make their rounds everyday, flirt with all the same girls whether they are married or not. Say things to these girls everyday that would get people in a professional setting fired. The women rarely say anything to HR. Women Don't do that, they don't complain to strangers, they complain to the people they are closest to. I mean you were married, who heard the most of a woman's complaining? Friends, family, significant other... Not strangers."

    He laughed and said "you know, that makes sense"

    Now a lot of these girls do complain to me, because they work for a different company and under different rules aren't allowed to tell the guys off but I am because I'm the same contractor and job and their figurative 'mommy'. But this is just like any situation in life, you have to learn to navigate the politics.

    Above I said 'rarely' because one guy has been reported 3 times... First time he swore up and down he never said anything... The girl got fired, he did say it... Everyone heard him. The next 2 times it was guys who filed complaints. For thinking he called them a bitch in Spanish when he was just trash talking with our team. Needless to say he does get a lot of shit, I get that that can be annoying but he earned the rep early and now anytime anyone's name is dropped his is automatically included.

    But he isn't the one that thinks all women are out to get him. He knows he earned his fuckboy- status because he loves the ladies. 2 think women are always plotting against them, 1 was fired (my lead). He used to say things like he was going to put me over his knee, or on a leash. But I never reported him, he proved repeatedly that he didn't know the job and was fired for incompetence... But I bet that he is now telling everyone that it must have been the 1 woman that got him fired.

  • i am not feminist because I don't think that women and men are equal. They anatomy is different, their mentality and a lot of other things
    , but I don't consider men better than women or vice versa. I DO think that women and men have equal rights though. I didn't read your whole enciclopedia but I respect you opinion

  • Like I do not trust the amnesty international because those people never look what happens in their own land with their own government and even more but always far away where they do not live.

  • FINALLY I've FOUND SOMEONE LIKE ME Haha I feel like some things are too overanalyzed and people also have been misinformed. That’s just me though

  • I'm for equal rights, treatments and opportunities in society but I'm definitely NOT FEMINIST.

  • It's a very fluid term feminist. Do your thing.

  • I thought it said "Why I am not a female".

  • You are most definitely a feminist, but you are in denial.

    • He's not a feminist, if you insist on giving people labels then he would be an egalitarian. I am bisexual, however I do not consider myself as part of the LGBT community, because quite frankly, it's full of arseholes.

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    • @_Enigma_ I truly hope you are right. I see bad things on the horizon.

    • @Charleslvajr Every Ice Age comes to an end.

What Guys Said 13

  • I don't consider myself a Feminist, either. There are more than enough issues that pertain to men to warrant focusing my energies on that rather than the plight of women.

    I do support it, though. Why? Feminism is about women, not men. It's about making women equal to men. All I ever hear from men (on GAG) is "why doesn't Feminism take men's issues into account?" Well, they often do and even when they don't, why would they?

    It's almost as if many men feel like they should frame the plight of men in the modern era as definitionally "what Feminism did to us". Most of us love to pine on about the evils of the women's movements of the world and how one-sided Feminists are, while proposing no viable options for what should be done about men's issues. Rather than attempt to change the situation, they'd rather tear down the progress women have made.

    It's almost as if men have lost our identity as men and are instead entirely focused on defining ourselves by our relationship with women. I see a million and one posts on GAG about things like:

    - Feminists only care about promoting women, but men have a higher suicide rate!

    - Feminists don't care about domestic abuse towards men!

    - Feminists talk about how bad rape is but never talk about men getting raped!

    ... but what you don't hear much about on GAG is:

    - Men commit suicide much more frequently than women do. What can we do?

    - Men are victims of domestic abuse a lot more than the media reports. Why?

    - Men get raped and sexually harassed by women (and othe rmen, too)

    and when we do hear about these things, the conversation inevitably goes back to... Feminists don't care about men getting sexually assaulted!

    So, I guess my point can be summed up with: who gives a fuck about Feminism? We're men, not women. Quit defining yourself by women and fucking do something about it instead of pointing fingers and whining.

    • Same thing I always see. I can usually show where feminists are working on most issues they bring up, too.

  • That's neo-feminism. The feminism that is about having power over men and submit them. It's a sexist ideology claiming that men are all rapists, perverts, and harassers, and should be shut. But it's not only sexist, it's also racist. Because it's not all men that are pointed at. But only white men.
    I consider myself as a real feminist, as I support equality of opportunities. But this crap isn't feminism, it's just hating on men because they're men.
    As for the false accusations, it's even worse than you say. Because, not only no one ask for proof supporting those accusations, but it's even seen as sexist to ask for it. And if it's proven that the woman lied, she faces no consequences. While the man, even if proved he's innocent, will face a rapist reputation who could cost him everything. And that, the so-called "feminists" never talk about it. They doesn't care.
    As someone said in my country, they don't care if innoncents are wrongly accused if they can catch one who really did it. They have no care for whatever could happen to a man.

    • Also, I forgot to add, but why those feminists aren't fighting for equality everywhere? In hard or dirty jobs, where men are an overwhelming majority? Why don't they talk about the obvious bias in divorce, most of the time in favor of the women? And why don't they talk about suicide rate, much higher in the male population?
      They're fighting for "equality" only when it suits them. They want all the benefits, and none of the disadvantages.
      In my opinion, either you seek for equality EVERYWHERE, even when it's not at your benefit, or you don't, at all.

  • It's actually the inequality in our culture that what happens toward men happens. People internalize the culture and see women being the victim and men not. Because our culture sends the message and values male or masculine tratis over feminine. It's why women can be seen in a positive way if assertive, while a man nurturing often a wimp or "pussy". Feminists I've learned care that men are hurt by this too. So the internalizing is why media doesn't focus on male victims as much or the double standard. It's not women's doing but out culture that hurts not just women but also men

  • uh oh, prepare to be excluded from the genepool just like the cultural engineers planned. Get rid of the rebels, all dinosaurs in jurassic park are female

  • Why aren't you a feminist? Because you're a man, and feminists treat men like Nazis treat the Jews.

  • Why I'm not a feminist? Because my mind wasn't defected at birth.

    • Also because I dislike most people in the movement, not just the movement itself.

  • Good take. I agree.

  • I'm a feminist

  • nice mytake

  • Is it because you're a guy?

  • hahahahaha

  • its cause you're smart. feminism today is for dummies not like it was 25 years ago.

  • You are a MAN. That's why you are not a feminist.


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