Why I Am Not a Feminist...As Told by a Former Feminist

Disclaimer: The following points are a generalization of modern feminism a.k.a third wave feminism. I know not all feminists apply on this nor on the stereotypes.

Feminism started as a good thing back in the day when women had no voice. When women just used as a birth givers, it was acceptable for husbands to hit their wives, women where no allowed to study, women were discouraged to go to college, when rape was acceptable, when women where not allowed to vote, not allowed to divorce when needed... But now that we have the same rights as men do and are free it seems like women ran out of things to complain about.

Women in first world countries don't need feminism. Even in most 3rd world countries women live in peace, unfortunately, unless its the Middle East or they are in a very low economic class. Believe me: I live in a 3rd world country. That is a whole other story. Those women need help and to fight for their voice. That said, here I wanna talk about what feminists mostly in the USA and Western Europe fight about.

As I said before, it is like they ran out of things to complain about. Manspreading? really? what the hell is that? In case you forgot, men have -something- between their legs that makes it uncomfortable to have legs together. Its not cause they wanna oppress you.

I don't deny biological differences between men and women. The truth is men are more likely to be physically more strong than women. Yes yes there are exceptions. But you can't deny men achieve physical strength more easily. And women are more sensitive. yes, I know there are sensitive men too but it is true we are more likely to be more nurturing and these feminists seem to not want us to embrace that. I think there is nothing wrong about it. in fact I think its beautiful. Generally, men also provide for their families that is why they want to do great on their jobs, meanwhile women make different choices on the workplace, they choose lower paying jobs, and that is when we arrive to the other issue: Wage gap.

The wage gap has been proved false a lot of times. It is true that on average women are paid less than men. But it is not for the exact same job. It is not for the exact same hours. Those statistics are ignored. Even if they have the same job women are more likely to take more days off for their period pains, because we get pregnant, etc. It has an awful lot more statistics about it and its a complicated topic and I would need a whole new mytake to explain this. So I found this article that has both sides of the myth explained if you wanna check it out

https://fee.org/articles/truth-and-myth-on-the-gender-pay-gap/

To continue on the biological differences and gender roles, history plays a good part here. For centuries even when humans were not civilized and there were only tribes, women were in charge of raising the babies, taking care of them, and making a home, and the men went out there to hunt for food, provide, and protect their land so their family can be safe. both are important roles and were not born out of nowhere because men hate women, but because that is their nature. Even animals have gender roles!

I agree there is nothing wrong with breaking them, if the woman wants to work that is perfectly fine. And that is what we should be thankful about! There is no law saying she can't! Why are they still complaining?

Feminism hates traditional and family values. all the ideology that not having kids is empowering and makes you free and that it is a social construct from the patriarchy they made to oppress women. It is not. First of all, no one is forcing you to have kids. There is no law telling you to have kids. And they degrade women who want to get married, have a family and even more those who want that and be a stay at home mom. Why? What if I want to be a housewife? Is that so bad? It is a double standard. They say women should be free and they support a woman's choice but when a woman's choice doesn't fit their agenda and is a traditional decision they say its ''internalized misogyny'' and shit.

Also, there is no such thing are rape culture in the west. Men accused of rape get their reputation ruined and their careers can be affected. Sometimes even if the accusation was false! Rapists get sent to jail. This leads to my next point, where feminists say that when police and the judge asks for proof its ''victim blaming'' and they don't believe them. It is NOT that! Rape is a crime. And like every crime(robbery, murder), it needs to be proof so the accused is punished. Specially since most countries have this law of ''innocent till proven guilty''. That is not victim blaming. Also, they say that when we say rape can be preventable is victim blaming. The truth is MOST rapes can be prevented! Again, even if it could have been prevented doesn't mean the rapist won't get punished. But we can avoid being drugged, watch out drink and not drink too much alcohol, carry safety supplies, and be ready. No, we can't teach rapists not to rape. Rape is bad, and they know it. And you know what? They don't care. That is what makes them bad people and criminals. Just like serial killers. We can shout how murder is wrong all we want but a serial killer will kill people happily.

Story time: When I was a feminist I went out for a run and I was wearing very short shorts. there were a lot of men out there, builders, etc. And my father saw me and begged me to get in the car I refused to do so. he later told me that I should not wear those shorts again if I wanted to go out for a run in that street. I flipped out and was like it is not my fault blah blah blah teach men not to cat call I'm only 16 blah blah they are to blame blah blah. Which is true, Cat calling is gross and of bad taste but no man with education does that and even if its rude, its far from oppression. Anyway but now I look back and think that my dad said nothing wrong. He was just looking out for his teenage daughter. He knows its not my fault and if I'm ever sexually assault he wouldn't blame me. He would KILL the rapist. But as any parent, he would rather have their child as safe as possible. He knows rapists don't care its wrong, they will do it. And by the way those were in fact very short shorts you could lowkeysee my buttcheek when I was walking LOL.

Also, men are more likely to suffer assaults on the street like murder and physical harassment, being hit, and robbed. Yes, women are more likely to be raped on the street (if we count rapes on jail men get raped more) and that is sad. But saying ''I have the right to feel safe on the street'' Yes you do but unfortunately as I said before there are people who have no problem breaking the law and violate your rights. Men can't feel entirely safe either on the street. They can be assaulted. Murdered. Well women can too hah, but yeah statistically men are more likely to.

Feminism makes women less feminine and beautiful. We can't deny most feminists are ugly. They self mutilate with lots of tattoos, piercings, bad haircuts, and unnatural hair colors. And most are also fat. Cause there is this sub-movement in feminism that is fat acceptance. But that is another topic, I already made a mytake about it.

They seem to not want other women to be happy. What if I wanna stay in shape, keep my hair long, wear light makeup, wear dresses, and high heels? Internalized misogyny? What if I wanna work out to look better? They start making up stories on how we oppress ourselves.

They glamorize being a hoe and have unprotected sex. Then they wonder why they don't want to give abortions to them. Because they abuse of it. Acting like a whore and expect others to not call you out on it is pathetic. Yes you can sleep with anyone you want the times you want. No one will stop you, go ahead. But then don't complain when people call you out on it and men won't take you seriously.

They are destroying chivalry. I freaking love chivalry. I love when a guy tries not to curse in front of me, when they hold the doors for me, when they let their protective instinct out, when they insist on paying for a date, give flowers. The small things. But if women become man haters, self mutilating, and whores how can men act like this? If you don't respect yourself how can you expect others to respect you? Respect is not given is earned.

What is it with how they say society over objectifies women yet they do shit like this?

Also the whole no you make me a sandwich thing? What is so bad about making your boyfriend a sandwich? Or even a meal? Yes I get it it is ridiculous when men use this to shut a woman up on an argument lol and there is bad history of men saying women belong in the kitchen. But one: learn to take a joke. Two: There is nothing wrong and oppressive about cooking for your man.

If anything, feminists are the one who make things harder for women. They convince them that they are a victim, that men are evil, that wanting to look attractive is self oppression, that working out to look good and eat healthy is to basically surrender to society, and that being a doctor, president, lawyer, or engineer will be harder as a woman cause there is this secret club of patriarchy that gather to make your life harder. They search for problems where there are none.

Ever since I quit feminism I became more happy. I started taking care of myself, I stopped seeing misogyny where there wasn't (F.E: back then, once my dad asked me for a glass of water and I was like ''is it because I'm a woman!?'' oh geez), and overall, I was happier. I love men even more now.

So to conclude: Im not a feminist because it contains a victim mindset, classless and ignores facts.

I repeat: This mytake has generalizations on how feminists look and speak. But the truth is most do.


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  • Agreed. With all of it. I hate feminism because it's not what it was supposed to be!

    Now every guy expects us to be all bunch of crazy feminists which is sad.

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What Guys Said 44

  • "They seem to not want other women to be happy. "
    "There is nothing wrong and oppressive about cooking for your man."

    This is sooo 100% spot on!

    There are plenty of women, maybe even most, that want to be submissive and follow a strong, dominant man, one who is a good leader and can be trusted with their woman's vulnerability. But this is demonized and people are shamed for wanting to follow their hearts.

    So these women have rape fantasies and read erotica instead, which is fine I'm not making a judgement just pointing out their "desires". Meanwhile their lives feel unfulfilling and depression, and anxiety continue to plague millions of women, women's happiness dropping lower and lower every year, with a skyrocketing divorce rate when what most women want in life is a happy family...

    This causes men to avoid marriage in unpresidented numbers with no sing of the trend turning around at any time. Dating becomes about sex and if "she" won't put out he dumps her ass, never mind the CDC stats that clearly show promiscuity destroys a woman's odds of ever finding a happy stable LTR.


    Feminism is/has seriously fucked women over. Really good MyTake.


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    • Just curious, do you want a submissive wife? Would you ever marry a feminist?

    • @chrismarie5589 Submissive wife? Well I'm not so keen on marriage so it would take someone very special for me to consider it, but for the sake of your question lets say that I am...
      I would marry a Sub wife yes, if I found the right woman. I think the real question here is would I marry a NON Sub wife... that would be MUCH harder to answer because I would not have a definitive Yes or No to the question.

      Marry a Feminist? Generally, No. I'd rather go to the dentist 5 days a week, I would rather marry a racist, or a religious fanatic. But, I do keep an open mind and would happily give a Feminist who holds views inline with the kind of Feminism Camille Paglia exhorts as good a chance as any other woman.

  • makes me regain my believe in humanity seeing so many people recently finally leaving that path. even some infamous feminazis finally started seeing the bullshit thatΒ΄s going on and turned from hardcore feminazi to even anti feminist.

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  • Lady, how dare you womansplain to us all something so simple, calm, logical and rational. What do you think you are? A humanist?

    (/sarcasm)

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  • Very nice read! :)
    And to be honest I only see about feminism online here. Nowhere else on the outside world. It's like reading about it but not being a real thing. Crazy thing.

    I am a former MGTOW (Men-Going-Their-Own-Way =~ male version of feminism) and have had my story about being MGTOW and my reasons why I am not a MGTOW. Luckily I am not the only one. Here it is (it is a long read but so is yours. I think you will see the flip image of your story) www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a29613-how-i-turned-from-being-bitter-resentful-towards-girls-into-a

    Basically cannot bear any sexism. I don't know what many are fighting the opposite sex for but it hurts both men and women. Spreading bitterness around is contagious. Practicing sexism is also damaging to the others.
    (extreme) Feminism and (extreme) MGTOW are just fucking up the relationships and communications between men and women and are dividing us apart and are making us as miserable as they are. What happened to practicing the concept of loving, supporting and appreciating each other? I would really love to have this instead of hating and blaming the opposite sex.

    last but not least:
    I LOVE WOMEN VERY MUCH πŸ‘©πŸ˜
    I can't live without women anymore.

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    • hahah its funny I've never heard of MGTOW! I guess I will check it out. I've heard of meninism lol but I'm sure they are just trolling.

    • They are actually real. They just aren't many enough in order to get known. They are also not identifying themselves. In fact you may have met some but they never said they are MGTOW because MGTOW usually do not identify themselves especially to women.
      You may have seen a cute guy but he is still single and seems to be completely uninterested in relationships. Most would call him gay right away. Truth may be he is either REALLY uninterested (like I used to be prior to MGTOW) or he is a MGTOW ghost (like I used to be also).
      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_Going_Their_Own_Way
      They can't be called meninism because that's what MGTOW is here for.

  • Great MyTake! We now live in a society where you don't have to buy into gender roles if you don't have to, but can if you want to. Watch everyone from both sides (feminists and traditionalists) bicker below about how you are siding with their enemy for acknowledging this. They are all social authoritarians that want everyone to live like they live. Feminists reading this take will think you're a self oppressing conservative and part of the problems. Traditionalists reading it will think you're a new wave feminist and man hater. That just means you have something good to say.

    There really is rape culture though. If you've ever been to college or around bro culture you would see it. These guys literally believe that women are lesser creatures to be made sport of for sex. They glorify it, just not when women are around to hear obviously. It's a shitty and harmful ideology and it makes me sad to see otherwise reasonable people deny it or downplay it. I would honestly say that most, like guessing way over half, of guys between the ages of 16 and 40 in my area are this way. It would be tricky to do a poll on it because they only admit this shit behind closed doors, to their rapey bros. I do think though that this culture would not be so prevalent if not for third wave feminism. It's a backlash against it. So yeah it does still speak to your overall point of third wave feminism ruining things.

    Also if you like freedom, then you can't really bash on people doing what they want with their bodies or looking how they want. And not everyone who does so in a way you don't like, or is fat, or whatever, is trying to convince others to be like them. They are mostly just trying to convince others to let them be and treat them as fellow humans. It just sucks when a big movement with big stereotypes like third wave feminism hijacks their shit.

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    • Thank you! Also, I still believe rape culture does not exist. Well, no it kind of does, yeah, as you said it is a thing among some men, unfortunately. Of course rapists still exist and are out there not caring about others. But the good news is that they have no power over it. They have no authority so if they happen to do something, they won't be excused, they will be punished. Same thing with racists. Of course there are still some ignorant racist people but they have no authority. No law is on their favor. And if they ever harm or act on it, they will be called out and punished.

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    • @lord_chilled I'm sure its different in different places. It also depends on your definition of rape. A lot of college guys when I went to college were more than tolerant of taking advantage of drunk girls and the type of rape where they don't know what's going on. No means yes type of attitudes. Never actually knew anyone involved in a case, but there were cases at the school and I knew plenty of people who had that type of attitude. No one there would condone violent rape for sure though. That's different. And I do think It's ridiculous that the law doesn't differentiate, though both are bad. Anyway, any culture that glorifies or promotes rape is a rape culture. That can mean a prevailing attitude around the dorms or anything. How else would you define it?

    • @Bezbozhnikustanka Yes. I blame those shows for a lot of the problems in the justice system too. They give an incorrect impression of forensic science that influences jurors to put too much trust in non-definitive and pseudoscientific tests, as well as on the gut instincts of police and investigators. They also glorify the crooked cop for getting the conviction outside the books.

  • Wow. Great explanation of what I've been thinking. The present movement is just an insult to the objectives an accomplishments of the original movement.

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  • The only feminists I have an issue are the ones who hide behind feminism as a way to have no consequences for their actions. They're the same ones that want to negate their gender roles but expect men to hold theirs. Those types can fuck right off. Not all of them are like that of course.

    Rape culture definitely does exist though.

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  • That was a very nice take, however it seems to me like you are trying to differ 3rd wave Feminism from traditional feminism, as if the later was any better. Feminism was always a hypocritical movement. It was always about women being privileged over men. Asking to have the equal rights and chances liem him, while keeping the pro of being a woman and not being able to handle the responsibilities a man would take.

    The commen claim that feminism began as a movement attempting to equalize the "huge" societal and economic gap between men and women is incorrect. Sexism was never really an issue for women, historicly speaking. In fact one can prove quite the opposite. Any and all claims otherwise are from the very people who profit from the notion. For instance the claim that women couldn't vote, conviently neglecting to mention that men couldn't either. Did men get the right to vote before women (as a whole, prior to unversal suffrage rich men and women had the right to vote, no one else)? yes they did, a whole seventy years before women. Why did they get it? Well they argued that they contributed to the government and country because they where drafted into bucket brigades (before fire departments) and into war against their will ergo they should at least have a say in how things operate. Women actively opposed women going to war and only excepted a womans right to vote when it was assured they would not be drafted as men where ie privledge without the responsibility. In fact common "knowledge" is full of these conviently ommited bits.

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  • Great take.
    I really liked it.
    I expected some female hate, but surprisinglty there wasn't much. Surprisingly there was a bit male disagreement (which i think is a main issue, these guys have got to stop...)

    I believe that a person shouldn't have to give an explanation for their past if they change, but in this case, i think your dad deserves and apology from you.

    All he tried was to keep you safe. I can only imagine trying to balance your daughters freedom and happiness while still keeping her safe. After an age, it gets naturalky difficult. But when you get into that rebellious mentality, they really dont know what to do anymore. If they get too strict much you may get pushed further away and maybe even do something out of spite, they may think.

    I know this because i have been on both sides of the spectrum. I have been the rebellious teen that did stuff randomly and recklessly, and worried my parents (yes this goes for boys too), and i have also worried about my younger sister.

    That water remark was especially cruel.
    We men aren't as emotionally balanced as you girls are. These things can hurt us hurt a lot more than we show.

    That being said, for the first thing (i still agree with your dad tough) i think builders are actually nice people. I think seeing a bit booty after a hard day of work probably made their day πŸ˜πŸ˜‚. But im biased since i was around builders sometimes as a kid and teen and they were generally nice people. Some enjoyed drinking, but they were funny drunks, not the scary type.

    in my opinion electricians and plumbers and the sort are the perpetually horny type (again, im biased, so no offence to any electricians or plumbers here), because there was this plumber i used to hate who we used to call sometimes to fix things, he always tried to be a fake buddy with my dad, while he kept trying to hit on my mom. She just avoided him, but he followed her around trying to be friendly, so i always went after and stood beside them. He hated my guts for doing that,,, and i hated him.
    As for electricians i have a close male friend who was alone at home and was walking around in his boxers. Apparently the electrician was there and he got horny and tried to coerce my friend into having anal sex.
    My friend said it was a bit scary because he was a bit bigger and stronger.
    But those are individuals, so i can't generalize

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    • yeah don't worry about my dad we have already talked about this issue and worked it, yeah we can't generalize the workers but in my experience some can be very pervy but of course some just limit to greet and that is fine

    • Yeah, lol i kust realized i had forgotten about the point i was making and kept writing about the worker thing, lol

  • So many great parts in this Take and I don't have enough room to highlight them all.

    Feminism also has racist history, which I too wrote about here last year. It's whole structure is mostly a thing created by insecure, wealthy, privelaged Caucasian women that a lot of other women around the world think is ridiculous. Hell, even when you talk to regular every day women in real life most of THEM don't even agree with feminism.

    Excellent Take.

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  • I agree completely

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  • Those are some particularly unattractive women to be "sluts."

    Wishful thinking on their part, methinks.

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  • You just got voted out of the FEMINIST club. :)

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  • Your treatment of the wage gap isn't correct - the link you provided correctly states that there is a wage gap for women working the same jobs as men, for the same number of hours worked. It's just that it isn't anywhere even close to the 77-80% mark a lot of Feminists claim.

    While the rest of your piece occasionally hits on some valid points, it's so full of hyperbole it's difficult to take it seriously.

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    • Yeah I guessed that. I am not very good at the economics topic and I'm not well informed about that yet that is why I tried to skip that part and post a good link instead.

      Also, what are examples of hyperbole that makes it hard to take it seriously?

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    • Really? Your experience as being a Feminist led you to believe Feminists are ugly, have a lot of unprotected sex and hate men? That hasn't been my experience _at_all_.

    • yes it did. And Again. 1. Not ALL feminists. 2. By observing the others you could tell

  • "Feminism hates traditional and family values. all the ideology that not having kids is empowering and makes you free and that it is a social construct from the patriarchy they made to oppress women. It is not. First of all, no one is forcing you to have kids. There is no law telling you to have kids. And they degrade women who want to get married, have a family and even more those who want that and be a stay at home mom. Why? What if I want to be a housewife? Is that so bad? It is a double standard. They say women should be free and they support a woman's choice but when a woman's choice doesn't fit their agenda and is a traditional decision they say its ''internalized misogyny'' and shit."

    That is not correct, actually. What most feminists seek is for women to understand that if they don't want to follow the traditional values, it's ok and it doesn't make them less women.

    Of course it's ok for a woman to be a housewife if she wants. But a woman that chooses to never get married, never have kids, never build a family is not less of a woman because of that. There are many roads to happiness and following what society expects from you is not always the better choice.

    You were right when you said your take was based on generalizations. I give you merit for that. But I disagree that it's how most feminists are. If it is... I'd love to see the scientific source.

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    • I doubt there is any scientific study on that -yet- lol but on my experience and the majority of things we see on the internet it is like this

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    • Funny how, you ask her for a scientific source, when she , as a former feminist herself, should have enough face value to have an opinion on this.
      And i second that opinion.
      People need scientific evidence in arguments now, smh... What happenes to the good old days where we used common sense?

    • Common sense is the realm of appearances. Science is the realm of essence. Both are based on observation. But while science is based on a methodic, criterious observation that is the offspring of formal logic and empirism, common sense is based on superficial observation that doesn't test itself against contradictions, false causalism nor promote the necessary isolation of variables.

      If we were to base ourselves in common sense, we would still believe silly stuff like: Earth is the center of the universe, Earth is flat, Earth was created by a God and many, many other silly stuff.

      Her experiences are an anectotal evidence, and, as such, have no value to determine if a phenomenon is truth. That doesn't mean she is lying or making stuff up. I think t's very likely that she has good faith. But so do people who swear they have seen aliens, ghosts, angels, saints and miracles. And yet, these experiences are nase don subjective impressions, that could not be tested.

  • Nah you kind of rejected feminism both modern and pre 21st century. Mondern is a shit show, and pre- is for equality. You kind of just gave up on equality and decided that men and women should have pre-defined roles.
    That's it. I'm known for being anti-feminism as hell, but even i can see where you are going wrong here. You want to be equal but it seems as though in this mytake you just gave up. Frankly sad really.

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    • What do you mean? I said there is nothing wrong with gender roles being broken I just explained why they exist. Im literally saying it is great women have same opportunities and there is no need to keep complaining. What points exactly do you think I did such thing that you are accusing me of?

    • I'm saying that feminism prides itself on bringing the sexes together. You point out in your take that women and men are different arguing that everything has been done when in fact we are further apart then ever socially. If you were truly a feminist you would vey for both male and females being equal and feminism has not done that at all. Socially society still requires people to go through the same gender roles in dating too. Men still have to ask out women, not vice versa and it's the way it's always been. We are not on equal ground, and now that women have their needs met they still expect men to play the roles of a male. Same as it's always been, and so it shall continue.

    • ''if you were trulls a feminist'' I am not a feminist and I am not trying to be. Are you sure you know what my take is about? I didn't say anything about what you are talking. Quote something I said.

  • Nice mytake... I agree with most of it, accept some of the generalizations of course.. LOL..

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  • This take was so good I was about to clap at i, but then I realized You probably wouldn't hear them.

    Anyways, in all seriousness, I think you're right about feminism killing chivalry. I tend to consider myself as a gentleman, but seeing these ungrateful feminist attitudes doesn't make me want to be a nice guy anymore. I mean, some wome would be angree if they see a sign of chivalry like "Oh, is this because I'm a woman?".

    Again, great take!

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  • this is an amazing take. so well written and full of facts. i especially liked the part about the wage gap. i debate that topic a lot with people who think it is true and they never believe me when i tell them that the full picture isn't taken into account when women talk about the "77 cents for every mans dollar" garbage. anyway, amazing take!

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  • Nice take.

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What Girls Said 21

  • This was a very interesting article. However, as a feminist myself, I'd simply like to explain my point-of-view. Feminism was previously a movement for equality of the sexes when women weren't being treated fairly. However, I feel being a feminist today has a different meaning rather than still trying to close the gap. I feel feminism is now more of a belief than a movement, which can both be very similar, but modern feminism is much less action and much more ideology. I don't think modern feminism is a bad thing at all; in a nutshell, it's believing both sexes should be equal and nothing more. Those dubbed "feminazis" are not true feminists because they believe women are superior rather than believing the sexes should be equal, which is why feminism has such a negative connotation today. My school would not even let my friends and I ask for more members of our Feminists United Club because they said it was too offensive, when we have a Gay-Straight Alliance Club and Christian Athletes Club, which both also have the potential to offend. We are the only club not allowed to advertise simply because feminism has such a negative connotation now. Simply because we believe in equality of the sexes. I admit I can get riled up on occasion when I hear people insult my views, but there are extremists in every single group. Abolitionism was a well-meaning movement that had extremists whom KILLED people to get their point across. That was not how all abolitionists were, however. I actually find very few feminists fit your description as you've disclaimed below your article, at least in real life. People get fired up online and say whatever the hell they want, no matter how offensive, but I've never met a crazy feminist in real life. That's just my opinion on the matter. Believing in equality of the sexes (which is feminism) is not a negative thing.

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    • hey I really appreciate your composure in here. It is interesting that thing you say about the Feminists united club, I think no matter your views you should be able to do those clubs as long as you don't physically harm anyone. But I've heard that in a lot of schools mostly universities is the conservative views that are silenced because they might be too ''offensive'' when conservative people go to give speeches they get treated poorly there are a lot of videos of it on YouTube once they banned a conservative youtuber hunter avallone from going to a campus cause they just didn't agree with him. So with all this going on I forgot this things can happen too to the people on the left. I think is wrong to silence any of them unless they are actively being aggressive.

      You know you are right in how you don't find many feminists (I have though) like THAT In everyday lives. Is on the internet cause yah we are all braver here. But they do exist, and protests are the proof.

    • Yes, I have seen silencing of conservative views, but much less so in my area. Liberal views are silenced much more often in my area because I live in a very conservative community. I can completely understand your point-of-view. I kind of see this debate like the democratic and republican parties: many people can agree with more of the ideology of one party over another, but they may leave both parties altogether because of the killings and crazy actions of both parties. I think a huge majority of us are feminists ideologically (wanting equality of the sexes), but many are turned off due to the actions of self-proclaimed "feminists."

    • yeah. I guess by the literal dictionary definition I would be a feminist cause I do believe both genders deserve equal opportunities, but yes its the whole package of the movement that makes me not want to label myself as one.

  • Yes.

    I agree. My stance is I'm not a feminist given I life in a 1st world country. I don't agree with the standards women believe are theirs. It's elitism. I don't believe in that.

    You have nailed my feelings.

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  • So glad to see that there are other women like me out there πŸ‘ Great mytake!

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  • "I agree there is nothing wrong with breaking them, if the woman wants to work that is perfectly fine. And that is what we should be thankful about! There is no law saying she can't! Why are they still complaining?"

    Because even if there's no law saying women can't work, women who do work and are very career-driven tend to be looked down upon. Especially if they choose to have a career over having a family. Many people consider such women to be heartless, materialistic and selfish. Meanwhile if a man prefers working over creating his own family, he's just seen as a serious businessman. Or even a savvy/sexy bachelor.

    "Feminism hates traditional and family values."

    No, we don't. We hate FORCED traditions/family values/whatever. People should be able to do whatever they want with their life. If a woman wants to work, great. If a woman wants to stay at home, great. If a man wants to work, great. If a man wants to stay at home, also great. It's when women are FORCED to stay at home and men are FORCED to be the "breadwinners" because "society says so", that feminists have a problem with it.

    "Also, there is no such thing are rape culture in the west."

    If there's no such thing as rape culture, then why are rapists (who have even ADMITTED to raping/there's SOLID EVIDENCE of them raping) continually not getting punished? People like Brock Turner and that guy who recently got his SISTER high and raped her, only get a slap on the wrist for doing what they did. Brock Turner's dad called the rape "just 20 minutes of action" and pleaded that his son shouldn't get thrown in jail because he has such a bright future ahead of him. That he's so sad over what happened that he can't even eat stake. :- ) And the guy who drugged and raped his 16 year old sister could potentially not even serve a year in prison because the judge thinks that the "stigma" of being a sexual predator is enough. But doesn't take into account that basically, what he's showing us here, is that you could rape your siblings and get away with it. Also doesn't take into account that by letting these sexual predators go free, he's endangering everyone who gets close to them. I. e. more potential victims of rape and sexual assault. Fantastic!

    The "make me a sandwich" thing has hardly ever been funny to me because 1. it's hardly ever told in a joking manner, it's pretty much always meant to be antagonistic, 2. jokes that you hear over and over again lose their meaning and they're just not funny anymore.

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    • Also no matter how much we try to "prevent" rape, there's no guarantee that it won't happen. So instead of trying to continuously force girls to not dress a certain way, not act a certain way, not say/do things a certain way, not drink too much, not do this and not do that - we could start by trying to change how many men see women. The objectification of women is real. Otherwise these rapists wouldn't think that they have the right to do whatever they want with their victims, and quite literally treat them as objects. Not only "fucked up/mentally ill" men are rapists. Actually usually when a young guy rapes a girl, you keep seeing everyone who knew him comment that they "didn't see it coming" because he "is the sweetest guy ever, so intelligent, he gets straight A's, he's a really good athlete blah blah blah". Like legit these supposedly "amazing" guys are capable of raping gals. So then the issue is how they see and treat women, the issue isn't women "not protecting themselves".

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    • @lord_chilled if you don't want to read the article, then in a nutshell it describes how the motivations of rapists very rarely/if at all are dependant on the way someone dresses, and if it's a factor it's at the bottom of a long list of reasons. What seems to be more prevalent is people just *thinking* that dressing a certain way has an affect on rapists and their decisions, and therefore it's more like a societal belief/myth rather than an actual fact. And because of this belief that has very little to do with actual facts, bias seeps into courtrooms and women are wrongfully blamed for what they look like.

    • Thanks for shortening the article, i was actually abit lazy to read it.
      And yeah , most of the time they do it to vulnerable victims, when the rapists chooses them, its not dependent on how they look.
      But i was talking about a stranger rape, where he doesn't know the victim, and is maybe just a violent person thats high on drugs or something. He may not have rape preoccupied in his mind but maybe seing a revealingly clad woman may pick his interest and trigger him. Yes most rape is by a non-stranger, but when people are concerned with you going out scantily-clad they are more concerned with violent strangers.
      Thats all im saying. Clothes is not a reason, or a means to rape, but it could be a trigger. It could be what separates a rape attempt and being completely ignored by a rapist.
      Thats all im saying.
      And yes i dont agree with courts using this as a measure and i never agree with the girl being blamed for it. You are right

  • Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! This article <3 I feel women nowadays take their biological differences from men, weigh them, and come to the conclusion that because they posses different natural talents from men, that they are somehow at a disadvantage. This is simply not true, and why we truly don't need feminism in today's world, because men and women are equal now. Men, women, black, white, gay, straight, four fingers, twenty fingers... we all have basic human rights. Just because men are BIOLOGICALLY better at sports because they are naturally more competitive and strong than women is nothing feminism could ever control or 'fix', and on the other hand, a woman's BIOLOGICAL inclination towards nurturing and caring makes them far more suited for many jobs and fields that men are not, like teaching, health and so on. In NO way are women oppressed in first world countries, and for those who believe we need feminism because of countries where women are truly oppressed like Saudi Arabia, Iran, or Syria... well, screaming in the faces of those who support Sharia Law, which claims the vast majority of the people that buy into the "Men are superior to women" gimmick, to accept and adopt the teachings of the western world and to accept feminism will cause nothing but more distress and chaos. It's not a smart strategy. Focusing on a reform of Islam, and zero tolerance towards Sharia Law, one of the worst glimpses into female oppression this planet has to offer, is what we should TRULY be focusing on, if we want to make a difference.

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  • You started out great until you got to the rape part. I stopped reading from there.
    I'm with you on some points. The first world doesn't need feminism. Countries where women need approval from a man to shit or piss need feminism. I live in Australia. There's nothing I can't do just because I'm a female.
    But rape is preventable? Yes, I suppose it is. But then how do you explain the rape epidemic in countries where the majority wear modest clothing? That's the idea. Women shouldn't have to look at their outfit and question if it will get them raped. Alright. Some outfits will make people question if you're up for it. Some clothes are made to be sexual. No doubt about it. But no means no, and the fact that 97% of rapists are men shows that we're doing something wrong with the way we raise our boys.

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    • I agree with 99% of what the author said, besides the 'rape is preventable' part. That's like saying murder is preventable, by the author's own logic, by avoiding dark alleyways, not getting involved in gangs, always carrying a gun or weapon of some sort on you etc... if it happens, it's going to happen. I'm with you on that one BUT, this 'rape epidemic' that you speak of where a majority of women wear modest clothing, i'm assuming you are speaking of countries that implement Sharia Law on a legal level within their countries. Countries where women get raped, then stoned for being vulnerable... it's terrible, especially from a Western point of view, but we have to understand that this isn't anything that the teachings of feminism could reverse. Us in the first world teaching a man who bases his livelihood around Islam and Sharia Law won't take "Male privilege" or the idea of "Patriarchy" into consideration, hell, he won't even bat a second eyelash at you saying women and men are equals

  • Okay good to know

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  • good mytake, I love chivalry too

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  • You know I always enjoy people claiming the feminism in America is the same everywhere else in the world when feminism in different parts of the world is completely different. Canada not that many or any feminists are trying to get it to be legal to be naked outside. In India a lot of feminists care about job opportunities and sexual harassment in the workforce. I think you mean to say which any feminist who understands is you are not a white feminism feminist because that's the shit that is stupid and useless in feminism and what you Americans hate but don't realize the difference because you don't bother to learn.

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    • That is why I specifically said feminism in the west. Women in Canada don't need to be outside naked, while women in India do need to be able to be protected from sexual harassment and have job opportunities.

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    • The student got kick out of class that day but the fact is he wasn't being racist he had every right to say he doesn't want his kids to learn that language!. Things like that are pissing a ton of people off here in Canada with that shit and there still Sikhs doing it!

  • so it sounds like you were into white feminism and not into intersectionality. in that case, I kind of understand your point. But I disagree because it sounds like you didn't actually take the time out to learn about different types of feminism. Just like there are radical, conservative, and moderate democrats and republicans, there are moderate, radical, and conservative feminists.

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    • She said in general. I'm not the one that gave you a thump down.

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    • oh, your family is okay which means everyone is okay, that's good to hear. it's nice to know that if only a handful of people have never experienced racism or discrimination then no one has. By that logic, there's no problem in Russia just because a handful of people there haven't faced problems. And by that same logic, you can't complain about your problems because there are some people in Bangladesh that have it worse. Throughout history, people try to use the whole "someone has it worse" to silence those who are speaking out about issues. once again, that's that whole logic that white people in the 50's used, it's crazy how similar you are.
      If someone says you're ignorant then don't just get mad. Instead, try to do some actual research. your reaction to being called ignorant shows your lack of maturity. I know we're the same age, but age and maturity are not synonymous.

    • That's one hell of a cat fight

  • omg this is the best mytake I have ever read. I agree with it 100%!!!

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  • Oh good God I was worried we'd go another day without another Feminism related post.

    You have offered much relief.

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  • i see your point

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  • I'm a feminist because I think it's obvious that us girls are still disadvantaged.

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  • Bullshit. Once a feminist always a feminist.

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  • It's taken too far sometimes

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  • I'm personal a feminist and I really liked this. I usually don't go around saying that because will attack without knowing that I don't believe in everything seen on th or social media. I feel like feminism gets a bad name due to that and some women going overboard it makes me not wanna be a feminist but at the end of the day I am because I believe men and women should be equal.

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  • Very good myTake! I hate both 3rd wave feminism and MGTOW. There's so much hatred out there, it makes me sad.

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  • I don't think it's ok to slutshame women, but at the same time I do have contempt for third wave feminism.

    P. S. I love to make my boyfriend a sandwich. I want him happy. If I hear that he's hungry I run to the kitchen to cook something up ASAP.

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  • Preach πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

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