Search Results: dealing with a break up

I've known this girl online for over 6 years, she's older than me and we use to date off and on. But we have mainly just been friends because she kept breaking up and wanting to get back together online.

Whenever she would break up with someone she would message me in a flirtatious way. A little over a year ago I had a close family member to pass while we were in a relationship and she broke up with me while I was dealing with that situation not making matters any good.

She also would tell me about guys she's dated or is dating and she would always message me about how she can't find a guy to date while breaking up with someone every other week.

She would as me for photos which I sent but she never sent me a photo of herself only once years ago, but whenever she would ask me I'd ask her if she would send me one of her since I did and she said she would but never did. She even gave me her phone number once and different people answered the phone as she said she lived with her parents. So I'm guessing it was her family picking up the house phone and not her actual number.

She recently gave me another number but always asked why I didn't call her and I told her I didn't feel comfortable giving out my number but gave her an email alias to contact me through which she never did.

She sent me a screenshot of something on her phone but I'm guessing didn't realize her messages showed with someone sending the message "Hey b***e (guys name)" So I researched her name and location and many people live there and showed someone in their 50s by her name lived at the address, was able to locate by phone number, and also a relative named (with the guys name) lived across the country.

So as of today she deactivated her account online not informing me, whenever I would make a new account or take a break I would tell her since we were friends.

After trying to date after my last break up, I have been ghosted several times. After this experience, I did it to someone too. It was not completely intentional: I was abroad and got a message I forgot about while dealing with other stuff. When I remembered, it seemed embarrasing to reply. The truth is, I did not see the dates going anywhere at that point. It was not, like we got any far away and I dropped from the face of the Earth afterwards (we met 3 times but it didn't even get to some meaningful physical contact). Yet today I feel like a jerk and I think I should apologize for not being mature enough to comunicate my feelings.