Any advice to someone who is now in an unbearable pain from heartbreak?

Question

One day I couldn't sleep. Now, I'm extremely alone and depressed. I feel hopeless... I really can't describe how much pain I'm having right now. It's awful how much pain love can cause... whether it's a break up, one-sided love, cheating, getting dumped, etc. It's so PAINFUL! Even worse, I can't get myself to do anything... I really wanna cry so bad, but I couldn't release it fully. I feel so broken! Any tips on dealing with this? Especially if you've gone through something similar...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm currently going through the same thing, it happened like two months ago pretty much and its just like these whole two months I've been trying to get that person back because the reasons weren't so bad and we just both know we're just for each other and stuff because of how we make each other happy so much, etc. and it hurts my heart thinking about the old memories I had with him and I struggle breathing and can't fall asleep easily at night without struggling and just relaxing in pain basically. and my heart was just set at just not moving on and just trying my best to get him back, whatever it takes... but a few days ago I met another guy randomly in a voice chat in a server on discord. and basically we talked a bit and the next day we were playing Minecraft together and it was night time and for some reason we both just vibed nice and we made each other happy and the next day, he told me how he had a traumatic experience in the past and could never sleep well since then and only used to get about 30 minutes of sleep everyday.. and he told me he slept really well that night and kinda overslept for about 12 hours... that's crazy. but what I've noticed about him is that he was so caring and was honest about everything and so open and that just made me realise, that there are much better guys out there even if he was one of the best for me, I need to move on since he didn't want me back and its just a waste of my time and energy just giving it to him when I should just be saving it up for the person who will actually deserve it in the future. even though I find it super hard because he was basically someone i truly and honestly loved and actually dreamt of a future with him and now its all just gone. I've still not completely moved on from him because of how much i loved his past self and I still just fantasise us together and happy and smiling. and that hurts. and then suddenly I just recall the bad memories I've had with him and that hurts even more and tells me to stop thinking of him and move on. but since i met the other guy I find it easier to not think about him and just feel motivated to move on.
the guy I loved did once tell me to not get attached to anyone so easily and I shouldn't put in all my feelings onto one person and make my happiness from myself before finding it from others and no one should be my main source of happiness.

Mystery11137girl · Accepted Answer

I’ve been through one sided love twice and I cried so hard when it was all over. Like too hard. After d thing ended wid d first guy I was able to cope with the pain even though it was all very hard then after the second guy even though it was one sided I tried to vanish from d world it was so deeply hurtful. He said me certain things about myself that were too harsh and I’m a very sensitive person so instead of changing it I took it all to my heart nd drowned my ship. Latwr my family members got to know about it all so they helped me I took help. Now it’s been a yr or so nd in still healing.
I just want u to know that crying helps a lot. it helps in venting ur emotions if u can’t do dat then don’t keep ur emotions inside it will cauz u prblm in d long run. Go to a counsellor and tell everything about how u feel, how u r coping nd what u can do to get urself in better shape and most imp. time heals I’m sure others also must have told u this but it really heals so just be patient nd get urself busy too.

PoliteSpeaker · Accepted Answer

I know exactly what it is like. There is only one way I know too rid of it and tbh it is the only beneficial way. It is to take that energy (emotion) and use it on something constructive. It is called transmuting. There is something that you can do that takes your mind off the pain. There has to be 1 thing and make sure it is something constructive. Lincoln was a loser before his wife died and open the deep wells of emotion within him and now look at his legacy. Adam Levine heartbreak was transmuted into gold, an album called "Songs About Jane" that took his band to the mainstream. Behind every great great man is a woman. I too have done great things that I could not explain until I studied Andrew Carnegie (the 5th richest man in recorded history). Sadly I wasted mine on something that was neither constructive nor deconstructive but I did learn lessons you cannot buy. Emotion is everything. Do NOT waste this gift you've been given. In every negative situation there is a seed of equivalent benefit. I just gave you a HUGE one. Do not waste it or you may never understand what the hack I said in this paragraph as most don't. I know it hurts man. It is like the pain is stuck to your skin and you just cannot get it off you. It's like you're drowning without any water. Use the emotion for good.

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

Whatever the break up was, realize this one important thing - he/she doesn't WANT to be with YOU, for whatever reasons. You can't change that, so all you are doing is making yourself sick, depressed, and non-functional just because someone decided "they don't love you". Instead, you should realize this is a blessing in disguise because you can now find someone who DOES want you, and love you, and will stick around.

There are all kinds of things you can do to distract yourself for extended periods of time, but that won't change your HEAD or your thoughts. You have to talk with yourself, so to speak, and start believing that this person was "not the one for you", and that you're still very much worthwhile.

Then remind yourself of people who may have wanted YOU, but you didn't want, in your life. What would tell them? So take some time to stop wallowing in your own pain and realize that if you do, it's just hurting yourself more. The other person is gone, and moved on, and they're in no pain over you. Why do you want to suffer because of that?

HoraceB · Answer

Once I spent 11 months pursuing a girl at work. She said she didn't want others at work to see us together and didn't want me to talk to her there. I knew she liked tea and I would leave her tea bags with little notes at her desk. She never acknowledged them. I got her number and would call her, but she never had anything to say. But then she would call me back right after we hung up and would want to talk. I invited her out multiple times and she would seem just interested enough that I didn't know what our status was. She strung me along for almost a year until I had enough and decided I would not deal with her anymore and stop pursing her. I was devastated.

However, within a month or 2 of this crashing down, I started seeing her with another guy at work. They were together all the time. And then they got married!

She lied to me and it was absolutely devastating. I felt like I couldn't go on. I started praying and wrestling with God, asking why. I was in such pain and confusion.

Well, a year later I met the girl that ended up becoming my wife. We have been married for over 11 years now and are very happy.

It may seem like you are in an impossible, hopeless situation, but you may want to look "up". God may have much better plans for you. And it may come sooner than you think.

MadinaHasABensheer · Answer

I've gone through it. What kept me moving was the thought of my future and reading about other couples who got married and settled down. You have to move on because there's still a bright future waiting for you, think about all the things you can do and how capable you are. Think about the happy moments you spend with your friends and ex girlfriend, think about the mistakes you've done and what you learned from them. Breaking up is like shoving a pineapple up your ass, it hurts like a bitch. But you go see the doctor, he treats you, writes you some medication to heal. And as time passes, you 'll start feeling better and you move on. But there is always a lesson to learn every hardship that you go through.
I read about married women talking about their ex boyfriends, why they broke up and why they moved on. I read about them meeting someone whom they eventually fall in love with and marry. It makes me realize that "hey, it happens to everyone. He wasn't the right one for me. There is someone else out there that deserves me. ," slowly, but eventually, you'll heal. I promise. Stay strong,,!

prettyfacegoodtaste · Answer

Little by little, slowly- decided every other moment to do something nice for yourself.
Buy teeth whitening strips.
Get a mani/pedi.
Clean off a counter or desk or bedside table.
Clean the house/ make it smell good at-least.
Buy yourself flowers/a cool plant.

Love making and finding things that connect you with yourself. Make yourself smile, babes. You all you got. And that’s really the best part of this life.

Now, take a deep breath and rise.
It’s okay if it hurts, it’s not okay if it stops you.

MariZra · Answer

Completely understand that feeling. Survived so many times. You will so.
1. Cry as much as you want at the time, take it out of your chest.
2. Keep yourself busy with positive things. (Work, gym, hang out with friends, go to the pool, sunbath etc...)
3. Don't use social media for some time.
4. Don't spend too much time on your phone.
5. Don't talk and don't think much about what or who hurt you.
6. Do makeup, hair, shopping, listen music that makes you feel happy.
7. Don't give up. Specially when you feel weak. That's the key.
8. Imagine you are QUEEN and treath yourself that way. (Because no one else will)
9. Invite yourself to the cinema. (Watch comedy) Go alone.
10. Remind yourself you deserve better and there is no one better than you. Who ever hurt you/His lost not yours.
WHAT DON'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER! BE STRONG MY DEAR. YOU CAN DO IT! GOOD LUCK ♥️

cryscrys1 · Answer

I’m sorry don’t be sad
You have to allow yourself time. Time is going to heal anything. Let it be feel your emotions. Also try too delete all memories messages don’t look up the person social media etc totally scrap everything of them. But trust me how you feel today you won’t feel months later. You are actually going to feel silly and skip this memory 😅..
we believe bad things are meant to be bad and hurt us but no bad things can be a good thing it can open you the door of something amazing & opportunities.
“ I am alone now just lose control ride it from head to toe ride it catch my soul ride it let me feel you ride it “ do you know this song called “ Ride it” from Regard
anyways find someone that makes you want to sing those lyrics. Find your true soulmate true girl meant for you won’t ever ever make you cry and hurt you. If she does she isn’t the one

ZackBan · Answer

I've been where you are now and trust me that wound leaves a scar this is not a metaphor used in a song it's a real thing.

But you need to heep regardless.

Personally I took the path of least resistance and drowned myself in casual sex with girls I had no feelings for. But with each new conquest I became stronger and eventually the heart was healed.

And don't worry about being a bad guy, as long as you don't manipulate people your conscience will remain clear. These kinds of women are usually also looking for a release and no complications

DonkeyDan · Answer

I have been through it with my first long term relationship and it really does hurt. I sort out counselling and got anti depressants and sleeping tablets from my doctor for a short period while I was dealing with it. Part of the pain is the loss of what might have been and the future you had planned, bit you future is fluid and can change at any point, and coming to terms with that helped me. At the point of my breakup if felt like my entire world had collapsed, and to an extent it had, but with help I got through it and came out the other side. I leaned on my friends and thaley helped me through it too, being there for me and getting me out of the house. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy, because it wasn't but I did it, and you can too. Everyone does manage and each day it becomes easier, and then one day you meet someone and you realise you have feelings for them and everything changes.

Browneye57 · Answer

It passes. Buck it up little pony.
Several things come to mind here...
One, quit your fussing and whining. No guy worth his salt cries over some dumb bitch. EVER. You never get to possess a woman, you only borrow them for a time... till they get bored and wander off and then the next guy gets his time with her. So just be grateful for what you DID have with her.
Next, never put a woman on a pedestal. EVER. Never worship any woman. EVER. They instantly lose respect for you when you do that, and it makes you appear weak. Women absolutely LOATHE weak men.
And finally, the best way to get over one is to get a new one. It's amazing how things perk up when you find a new one. So just get busy and find a few of them. That's right, have lots of options, an abundance mentality. Don't get stuck in one-itis.

It's hard to get young guys to swallow red pill reality till some bimbo rips his head off and shits down his neck hole.

Happy hunting.

dustybiker · Answer

You can’t heal yourself by moving on right away, it just delays the process and can create more mixed feeling you will have to deal with. Let yourself feel each emotion. Tell yourself it’s perfectly normal to hurt. We hurt that much because we loved that much. You will recover faster.

Jouth · Answer

Well at least you're not a vegan.

Srsly tho man. Get up and move. Baby steps, 10 push ups today, 10 tomorrow, 10 the following day and then 15 next week. Work up to going to the gym. Go outside, take a walk. Notice the things that are beautiful, the sun, the sky, the wind in your hair, let yourself enjoy it. Say hi to people when you pass them, if they want to chat, chat with. Go out, meet cool people, do fun things and rebuild yourself. No one can begin this process but you. And it begins with baby steps. Get up man, you got this.

casserolie · Answer

it is extremely painful. I found that hanging with my family or watching youtube videos or shows that have 0 romance or drama whatsoever works for me. you have to learn how to get out of your head, and really focus on yourself and recognizing your worth.

nice-girl · Answer

Focus on something else and keep yourself busy. Analyze what went wrong in your relationship. Read books about seduction and analyze why you were first attracted to that person. (Like the book "The art of seduction" by Robert Greene).
Read the part "Types of victims" and try to see there which type are you and analyze why you were attracted to her. Then slowly de-code it thinking that it's just psychology and it's not real.
Then focus on self-development.

Assi2k · Answer

I know exactly how you feel. I’m going through heartbreak too. It’s been quite some time now but what helps in those unbearable times is this video. It makes me feel seen and heard so I don’t need to go on another rant for the millionth time about him to whomever will listen cuz I’m tired of looking like a total sob.

Jlegacy · Answer

Instead of crying, turn that pain into power like Sam Smith did. Focus on building yourself, finding your power. If you have to cry, cry. If you have to cut your hair, cut your hair. If you have to lock yourself up for a while, do that but while you do all of these, forge a new path to glory. Personally, I'd strongly advice you talk to God.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Stop being a little bitch there’s 100 million more women out there. You can’t complain until you understand none of them give a damn about you either. Fact is your value is what you provide and women will leave you to upgrade when they find better.

The only exception to this is women that actually believe in monogamy and are traditional. Even their a different kind of fucked up but at least their manageable.

Babygirl_S · Answer

I dealt with a very toxic man. He was so dreamy in every way but he was a womanizer. He hurt me. It will take time but you'll be ok.
Exercise can be even better than any antidepressants. Even if you don't feel like doing it just drink some coffee and start doing a physical activity you love.
Seek medical help if nothing works. You might need pills to help you sleep for some time. Good luck!

Screenwriter · Answer

If it's fresh, it hurts like hell. That's all there is to it. You can't get around it, over it, or under it. Time is the only way to heal and if you need to, talk to a counselor, priest, minister, rabbit or good friend.

pleasestopthis · Answer

Take all the time you need to grieve for this heartbreak and don't feel guilty for doing so, don't let others tell you what you should feel.
If you need to cry, cry... sleep, and let it run its course. Maybe you can get an appointment with a counselor or psychologist, sometimes talking about things helps a lot especially if you're feeling like you can't cry or can't let your emotions flow

Ttrthseker · Answer

I feel sorry for you man! I have suffered and it hurts badly but ou need to move on if they didn't see you worth fuck them! Block them! Tune yourself and switch the channel to see around you! Find someone else and don't for them who doesn't value your trears
Prayers can slove you issue soon

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I have and I'm sorry to say that only time heals it. No way to speed it up unfortunately. A lot of people will tell you to keep distracted and busy, which does help a lot if you are able to do it, but I find it's really hard when you feel this way. But if you can, it does help. Work, spend time with friends/family, anything to get your mind off of it.

LivingExample · Answer

Breakups are part of Life and Admitting how you Really Feel is the first step toward Healing. It is okay to Feel the way you feel. The next step is doing some Reflection. Is there something you need to apologize for or something you should have done differently. Once you have answered or acted on those questions you must Force yourself to move on with your life Learning from the Experience!

CaliGirlBH · Answer

I'm very sorry for the hurt your dealing with but I will be honest we all have been heartbroken at one time. For me there wasn't anything that made it easier except time. Time heals it can be weeks or months but it will get better.

Mtwain · Answer

Allow yourself to feel it and then everyday try to do little things that were easy for you before. Like get up and make your bed, eat breakfast, catch up with friends, love yourself a little better everyday. After awhile it gets tolerable until you dont feel it anymore. It takes a long time but you have to remember to love yourself. Always.

Katebfun · Answer

Cry and let out the emotions it's a Healing and you'll feel so much better. If you don't release the emotion it will manifest in your body and something you don't want. Trust me.

randomgirl09 · Answer

It's hard. It takes time - don't rush yourself - I hanged out with my friends and tried new hobbies to help

Roah_Boat · Answer

I never had relationship issues because I've never been in a relationship. But as for pain and suffering, I have been through a lot of that. My advice is do not resort to bad habits. My second piece of advice is focus on healing.

hahahmm · Answer

How long were you together before the break up? How long has it been since the break up?

Anonymous · Answer

Mine was one sided. But it sucked when he gave me mixed signals.
My ego is hurt as well. People don't recognize good valuable sweethearts.
I later found out he's married. I envy him and his wife. I just hate that he gave me false hope.

Waldoe · Answer

Pain is the down-side of Love/Joy no matter what ends the "Love" there will be pain, If she died, if she moved away, if she cheated... no matter what the reason... Pain, it is the opposite of Love/Joy... sorry... God can be cruel sometimes

Anonymous · Answer

You have to be strong
I was ruined by a guy and I did believe there’s no way I could trust a man ever again
I wondered why he was so cold-hearted and cruel to someone who was completely devoted to him
Why he turned me down
Just think about plenty of women who are suffering from heart-break and some of them convince themselves that they will never find a love and the love doesn’t exist and so on.
I believe it makes you feel better
You are not alone.

RawIronhide · Answer

Suck it up.. buttercup. Life is suffering. Some children were born in starvation. You have to deal with break ups. be greatful.

Anonymous · Answer

the only way i get over a woman is with many nights of stiff drinks, 1-2 good cries, a hug from my dad, and a few weekends partying with the boys and getting shit faced.

exitseven · Answer

I would consume copious amounts of alcohol. After a few days of that I would get tired of it and start to live my life again.

AmeerX · Answer

Come now. If you think that's worst then you should see the suffering of people facing injustice and persecution

MountAverage · Answer

Yes, been there before and can guarantee you: No matter how unbearable it feels to you now, it IS bearable. You will get past it.

noohair · Answer

It is not cancer and you can survive. I never wanted to be around anyone that did not want to be around me.

Anonymous · Answer

Don't look for help here. You won't really find any.
Get a paid consultation session with a professional psychotherapist, who will prescribe you antidepressants and get on them. At least then living isn't so bad.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Is this your first heartbreak? Why does it hurt you so bad?

Deserter · Answer

Ignore her, don't look at her social media, occupy yourself with hobbies. Once you find another girl you won't even be thinking of her anymore.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Try this

Nazgol · Answer

Try to move on, get your head busy in something else and start dating again, don't delay

Rakeesh1335 · Answer

Watch Chronicles Of Judah144's video series on YouTube called "Should men fall in love?" and learn from your mistakes which is more than enough.

Brittanyroseee · Answer

Im currently heartbroken too

Anonymous · Answer

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! I learned from it to guard my heart.

jgibsonian1986 · Answer

Physical exercise will help

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yes book an appointment with a counsellor.

Anonymous · Answer

Is this a break up or unrequited love?

JustinTimberlegs · Answer

Existence is pain 😢

TheFlak38 · Answer

get a hobby

House89 · Answer

This to shall pass.

EaterPeter · Answer

Sorry bud

Any advice to someone who is now in an unbearable pain from heartbreak?

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