Search Results: self image

Why do we hate the sound of our own voices?


To summarise:

Introduction = "The discomfort we have over hearing our voices in audio recordings is probably due to a mix of physiology and psychology."

Reason 1 = "For one, the sound from an audio recording is transmitted differently to your brain than the sound generated when you speak." "People generally perceive their voice as deeper and richer when they speak. The recorded voice, in comparison, can sound thinner and higher pitched, which many find cringeworthy."

Reason 2 = "There’s a second reason hearing a recording of your voice can be so disconcerting. It really is a new voice – one that exposes a difference between your self-perception and reality. Because your voice is unique and an important component of self-identity, this mismatch can be jarring. Suddenly you realize other people have been hearing something else all along."

Conclusion = "Even though we may actually sound more like our recorded voice to others, I think the reason so many of us squirm upon hearing it is not that the recorded voice is necessarily worse than our perceived voice. Instead, we’re simply more used to hearing ourselves sound a certain way."

Long ago my mother made a complete fiasco in my relationship. She acted like a bully towards my boyfriend and I felt powerless to stop her. She tarnished his image to my father and others; accomodating things to her own distorted version, demonizing him. She went out of her way to trash him to every single close family members.

Too much has happened and at times I have nightmares about it. Her terrible words ''I have to separate you from him any manner'' or ''I hate his guts, I'll just pretend if he ever comes to marry you, I hate him'', ''He's using you'' and other things keeps repeating in my mind over and over.

It affected part of my self-esteem. I'm kind of sensitive. I can't deal with drama nor animosity. I can't ever fall in love with anyone else as a result and I'm childless. We would've had a family by now already. I'm scared of the same thing happening if I were involved with another man. I don't even trust my own judgement. I don't even know how to handle a relationship either.