research shows that spanking can lead to many harmful outcomes like low self esteem, negative parent-child relationships, and more.
The study, “Corporal Punishment and Elevated Neural Response to Threat in Children,” published in Child Development, examined spanked children’s brain functioning in response to perceived environmental threats compared to children who were not spanked. Their findings showed that spanked children exhibited greater brain response, suggesting that spanking can alter children’s brain function in similar ways to severe forms of maltreatment.
The study looked at 147 children, including some who were spanked and some who were not spanked in the beginning years of their lives, to see potential differences to the brain. By using MRI assessment, researchers observed changes in brain response while the children viewed a series of images featuring facial expressions that indicate emotional response, such as frowns and smiles. They found that children who had been spanked had a higher activity response in the areas of their brain that regulate these emotional responses and detect threats — even to facial expressions that most would consider non-threatening.
Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop anxiety and depression disorders or have more difficulties engaging positively in schools and skills of regulation, which we know are necessary to be successful in educational settings
According to a 2018 survey of pediatricians published in the journal Pediatrics, only 6% of the doctors surveyed endorsed spanking
For the other argument some researchers say that, as long as parents spank in a non-abusive way (a couple of open-handed thwacks on the butt), spanking won’t do any harm — and might even help.
First off, I really hate when we use the word spanking (I know it’s a social norm to use).
however it is hitting a child, if you hit someone more than once you are beating them.
so in reality the discussion is about, is it okay to beat up children?
in pretty much every report over xx number of years there has never been a positive slant to beating kids up.
As a parent, what age should they ideally start beating up there kids and at which age should they stop beating them up?
Why is it okay for a parent to take a belt to their 16 yr old but when the same 16 yr old fucks up in their part time job, they cannot be made to stand in the ‘naughty persons’ corner?
Parenting is very hard, it has nightmare moments and not everyone can be a good parent, the same as not every child can be good.
One of the biggest things I learned from my childhood was that beating children is wrong on so many levels and it does leave mental scaring, how can it not it is an adult instilling fear in to a child, that love is ripped asunder and fear put in its place, oh and respect goes out of the window as well.
It also has an emotional impact on an adult who is willing, wanting to be hit, spanked, paddled etc. This is an adult who is wants it and it still can cause distress and emotional impact, imagine what it actually does to a kid, who naturally shuts off most of it and receives no aftercare.
Girl, I was beat by my mother early ever day until I was a 10 year old and then inconsistently till I was 14 year old, and everything she should tell me that she was doing it for my own good and because she loved me. I have a son and I can promise you that "spanking" a child until the bruise or bleed isn't doing any one any good.
You know what that does, It can create neural pathways that associate pain with love and when you are in a loving relationship where there is no pain it can feel like something is missing.
Well the only thing that I truly know I have never read any studies did I know for a fact what it did to me there's no reason in the world to ever Lay Your Hands on a kid especially when you're trying to teach him something my step dad used to beat me black and blue and I swear up and down I would never touch my kids if I have kids will I have kids and all I would have to do and they did something is I would say psssst and I would giving my finger saying come here I'd very quietly, calmly explain why they don't do what they're doing and then say do you understand I would say yes I'd say OK great go have fun treat people's stuff with respect or whatever it might be you don't have to yell you don't have to scream you don't have to be little then you don't have to embarrass then you don't have to hit them you teach them they are kids you don't discipline then you don't restrict them from growing learning when kids do something stupid they do it either stupidly or they're trying to get away with it but they're growing their trying to explore experience something you can't hold them back from that you teach them there's a fine line you cross it even have to pay the price so now learn from it but don't touch them with the belt or anything else and if you yell and scream in a kid when they doing something but do you actually teaching them you're teaching them when you want something the way to get it is to yell and scream to throw a fit that's about stupid isn't it
What I think is that spanking is preferable to other forms of discipline, such as verbal aggression or emotional humiliation, and some children are unruly and require discipline, my parents disciplined me with yelling and humiliation and not with spanking and it led to me having all kinds of mental disorders as a kid. The mental health issues began the year my parents replaced spanking with yelling when they thought I was too old to get hit, now I view them as abusers and not supporters.
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Anonymous
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Vs children today where everyone is afraid to sneeze around them. Children need structure. And boundaries. These days they don’t get either. When I was a kid you screamed in my neighborhood and you would have multi neighbors coming out and telling you to shut up. My thoughts.. there is a happy medium between abuse and consequence.
I disagree I actually think the problem is that kids these days have too much structure. these parents are juggling their kids between school, daycare, clubs, sports, ETC. Leave the kids the time and space for some unstructured activities
I never thought it helped me much, especially since my mother sometimes did it just out of frustration when I didn't do much wrong except just getting too excited and playful. It gave me a rebellious complex instead of one that made me want to be good. It actually made me distrust authority figures thinking, as a child, that they are violent people who will take their bad day out on you.
That said, I like non-violent corporal punishment. I went to a somewhat militaristic private primary school in Japan where teachers would blow a whistle and we have to rush to get in formation. Every morning we did calisthenics like push-ups and jumping jacks. When kids did something bad, the punishment wasn't timeouts or losing a star or something cute like that but we had to do push-ups on the floor, manual labor like cleaning, or, in the worst case, hold out buckets of water with our arms outstretched.
That type of nonviolent corporate punishment really worked for me and the kids around us because it instilled us with a sense of pride for being disciplined. I went to schools in other countries later on for middle school and high school and I was shocked at how undisciplined the kids were, talking and joking in class when other teachers were trying to lecture, taking pride in disobedience, etc.
* corporal punishment, sorry. So I like ones like requiring children to do hard physical labor or running laps or doing 40 push-ups on their knuckles. That does inflict some physical discomfort or maybe even some pain but it doesn't involve violence.
But aside from the nonviolent corporal punishment, there were marching drills and things like that. The overall goal was to instill a sense of pride in having discipline.
We also had uniforms, and I'm strongly in the pro-uniform camp. I think that helps to feel like you and your other disciplined classmates are part of the same team marching and forming lines in unison. The kids can express themselves and wear whatever they want when school is over.
You can get a sense of the discipline if you see a martial arts dojo. The instructor (sensei) might tell a bad student, "Drop and give me N push-ups!" Then the student says, "Yes sensei!" and they do it. And the result seems to be very disciplined people with a sense of pride in discipline without psychological damage. But the instructor doesn't beat up their students.
I think the way we are treated after the punishment is very important. For example, I once accidentally hurt a boy in that primary school very badly roughhousing too hard (we were pretending to be sumo wrestlers). And so I got the worst punishment which was to spend recess holding out buckets of water with my arms outstretched for days. My arms were screaming for mercy when I finally finished but the teachers patted me on the head and told me to go back and play, and I was proud for having grown stronger and able to lift those buckets and felt like I learned my lesson.
Most of all, that style of discipline in that school seemed to make me feel more encouraged to be a good boy, rather than fearing being a bad one.
It's funny how it says spanking causes more people to end up with depression and anxiety. Today's generation where kids were less spanked complains of more depression and anxiety. It's like it's become the norm. I never heard my grandparents, parents, and even most in my generation complain of anxiety and depression. And those are the generations that were spanked the most.
My brother and I were both spanked. I can admit I do suffer from depression and anxiety but that didn't start until some years into my chronic illness. So no way that's associated with being spanked. My brother doesn't suffer from depression or anxiety. And we had more than spanking. Thats when parents used a belt. And I'm not saying thats right. Just saying those findings don't make sense to me.
I'm a believer in using every method you can before resulting in a spanking. But I learned how some kids just don't always respond to other methods and when they got too out of control a swat on the butt was enough to get them to stop and listen. My son I never had to spank and I also took care of so many other children I could use the time out method with. But not my daughter. At such a young age she was so sneaky and defiant. And when she got caught she would throw stuff at the walls. She broke her bedroom door by kicking at it. She was out of control. So finally we gave her a swat and it worked. And luckily we didn't have to do it often because she now knew there were real consequences to her actions.
Well there's this study that says they do spank less. And that's only going back to 1993. When I was a child in the 70's I guarantee it was even more. And my parents in the 1950's even more than my generation. I'm not sure where you are getting you statistics but if you share them I'd be happy to look at them.
Pure and utter child abuse , and absolute POOR POOR parenting.. You don't " teach " a child that " He who hits hardest wins " its just a completely ludicrous concept. So is the utter idiotic idea " Its didn't do me any harm " Well , YES IT DID , you were abused , and the fact that you were abused , does not give you some god given right to strike a child. If you see it happening intervein , no child should be submitted to such ridiculous outdated measures , you wish to abuse your child until he / she abuses another? Its never acceptable , it doesn't work , and its just a sign of the inarticulate and poorly educated parents. Under graduate phycology this one , black / white = NO Never correct , purely presenting your own inept weaknesses.
Watch the thread for " It didn't do me any harm " .. YES IT DID , the message sent flowed to the rest of your life , no matter how hard the hit , if you going to hit , where will you stop? A baseball bate? Just outdated lunacy.
@EyesOfGod Hitler was once labelled a Guru , History is best left to learn from , and again the " It didn't do me any harm " .. It did , and thats NOT a reason.
There's a huge industry that makes money off of giving pills and therapy sessions to kids. They're the same people claiming that if you touch one hair on a kid's head the kid will be destroyed for life.
When I was a kid spankings were common and we didn't have any kids running around shooting up schools. I'd bet that 100% of the kids who do that got babied and treated like pure gold comes out of their butt holes.
Some parents simply shouldn't have kids, regardless of discipline method too. The people crying about spankings the most had horrible parents who did it for fun... not because they actually cared about the kid.
Beneficial? Beneficial as in perpetrating and supporting Child Abuse? Then yeah, it's beneficial.
Overheard a lady threaten to spank her young child in a store once. I told her to go ahead and do it and I would spank her. She said she would call the cops on me. I asked what for? She said assault. I told her that was fine with me.
Me spanking her is a simple assault, which is a simple misdemeanor. Her spanking/hitting her child is child abuse/assault and a felony.
I even pulled out my phone and offered to call the police for her. Oh damn did she have a terrified look on her face and rushed off.
Spank, hit, belt, whip - No, never. Children are very smart, very curious. They want to learn and have good role model to show them how. Discipline when necessary in case of danger, yes. How? step 1. verbal - have child look at your eyes, with a very serious look, explain that was danger, he/she can get hurt, don't run out to the street if the ball rolled out. Call an adult for help. 2. serious serious look, model the danger if it happens again, explain why the child did was wrong. 3. gentle hitting the hand... explain (this is not the best... but can work) its call having some consequence. (did your little hand feel hurt? yes... well... when you run out... you will get even more hurt...) something like that
Yes, you’re not beating your child if you give them a smack. I do not condone beating nor do I condone verbal abuse when trying to correct your child. My brother and I were hit by my grandparents when we were out of line and got told we were not doing good. My brother no I came out perfectly fine. My dad used to hit my brother with a belt and that used to be bad which is what a parent shouldn’t do. But yes I do believe a smack can do good in the right moment when it is needed and nothing overboard
My father used cords and wire hangers, sometimes breaking skin, one even broke a metal serving spoon across my backside. I have vivid memories of it. I myself as a father, knowing what i thought of my father, only use spanking as a last resort and limit it to one. Now even though i know some of the punishments i got as a child could have sent my parents to jail, they did make me a more nurturing father and a more open minded person. So am I an exception or am i screwed up from the severe beating i endured as a child?
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Anonymous
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So they don't respond appropriately to an unfavorable facial expression... that explains why coddled children turn into teenagers who are completely unaware that the people around them are annoyed by their obnoxious behavior... and also oblivious to the "you're about to get your ass whooped" look when they're bullying or threatening someone.
Proper discipline requires two main ideas: punishment for bad behavior and reward for good. Leave off the first, and they'll act good when they want a reward, but bad whenever they want. Leave off the second, and they won't be as bad, but they'll also never excel because they won't see a reason to.
I wonder what would happen if they compared the brain patterns of kids who never get punished to those of sociopaths.
The only spank I believe in is the one you get on your hand when you try to go for a dessert prematurely :p If you have to use fear for a kid to listen to you, I don't think it's beneficial. Maybe yes, the kid will listen, short term, but longterm the love the kid has for you will fade and might be replaced by anger
I've been spanked. It's not the cause of my anxiety and depression. It's the most begnine thing my parents ever did. Parents don't do it when your past the age of when puberty happens anyway. I mean I'm totally against it for sure but it's the smallest issue when it comes to child abuse that I can imagine. Pls focused your virtue signaling advocacy on something better.
Everyone uses the word virtue signaling without knowing what virtue signaling actually means and it’s getting boring. How tf is speaking about a topic virtue signaling lmao
Well no. Ever since I was a baby I was heavily abused and look at me now. I have depression, anxiety, body and face dysmorphia, I'm scared of men, I feel like everyone hates me, I can't go outside because I feel like I'm too ugly worthless to be seen, I have an eating disorder, I can't sleep at night because of stress and I'm just lonely overall. Never abuse your children.
No. It's a sign of incompetent parents. And all it does to the child is teach them to be afraid. They might behave for the person who does it, but they're not actually learning anything. They don't know why what they did was wrong. They just know that doing it again will get them hit. And as soon as they are old enough to fight back, any influence that the parent had gained through violence is out the window.
I feel a spanking is only necessary if you’ve repeated yourself multiple times and they still disobey and/or if theyve done something majorly wrong like drugs, sneaking out, or having sex underage especially while under my household. But other than that, I do not condone physical punishment and prefer to use my words as a way to communicate my point
And i’d only ever use my hand to pop their arm or spank their butt or to slap them on the back of the head. I would never slap a kid on the face nor punch them nor use a belt or any other weapon on them
I think it really depends on the kid. My father spanked me till I was about 10. Then I "outsmarted" him lol. He went to spank me. I knew I'd done wrong and it was coming so I started screaming bloody murder " please don't hit me again oh it hurts". At first it surprised my dad but he figured out real quickly I was acting to not get spanked. And he just stood there till I quieted down a bit. And he simply said "OK you can stop now your audience is gone" lol. I thought I had gotten away with something but I didn't because you spank your kids to discipline them. You never spank a kid out of anger. And my father new now instead I'd reached an age where he could reason with me. He never spanked me again after that.
Spanking teaches kids that initiating violence is an acceptable action when you are mad at them but can't figure out how to explain why you are mad - either because you aren't smart enough to string the words together or because the explanation is embarrassing.
This is if u are furious and haul off and hit them sure. What do I do when u have already explained and pleaded with them… and they still refuse.. let’s say u even took privileges away from them but they just don’t care and continue to do the action? And they completely disregard your authority as their parent? Spanking should not b in the forefront of what a suitable punishment should b however to take the option away only lessens your ability to take control of a situation in which u needed to be a parent/authority figure…
If they are truly incapable of stopping a tantrum the problem with spankings in that situation is it teaches them to resort to violence if they don't know what to do. I understand that's excessively idealistic, especially if someone doesn't have the resources to deal with a tantrum that might arise from hunger or pain, but it is still the case that however you deal with the problem is how you teach the child to deal with any similar problem in the future. Most child tantrums that aren't hunger or pain are the inability to find the words needed to speak their mind. This cascades as they can't express that, either, and their impatience for not having the thing they want is also hard to express. Teaching them to communicate is key but that's not really something that can be done in the moment. Instead, the best approach is try to guess what they would say if they had the words. But not everyone has the time for that, and so violence as a precursor to neglect is yet another thing taught to the child..
I can assure you all of Asia disagrees with this. If it lead to susidal feelings then countries like India and China wouldn't be the most populated. In fact, when someone is being bratty or ill mannered its common to say " oh he probably wasn't spanked as a child "
You would be surprised, schools in China at least public ones are harsh, but as for parents, I have seen little Chinese kids in China yell at their parents in public.
I was spanked, apparently, as a child. By the age of 3 my dad said he never needed to even threaten to spank me again.
I don't remember ever being smacked. My dad was my best friend and I was devastated when he passed away in my late 20s. I think it didn't do me any harm.
In my experience there is not much wrong with any child's behaviour that cannot be fixed by a flogging. I encounter sociopathic delinquents almost every time that I work. What they have in common is that they come from single mother welfare households where there was no man to flog their arses and teach them civil conduct.
Yeah well there are some groundrules about that which tends to create a lot of trouble because most of the times parents don't follow the ground rules. The most important is, no matter what, never ever EVER lay a hand on your child when you're angry.
