Search Results: strangers avoid me

Hi Guys & Gals,

TGIF!

So it’s Casual Friday and I’m sporting my oldest pair of jeans and my favorite heels. Nothing special, tbh, but a young, nice-looking fella stops his bike, takes out his AirPods and calls over, “Hey, those are GREAT jeans.”

It was a funny sort of thing to say to a stranger, but I just offered a little smile, said “Aww, thank you,” and kept walking, not thinking too much of it…

And that’s when I heard it… that extra base a guy gets in his voice when his eyes are still on you. “You’re… welcome.” And for several seconds I felt as if a laser pointer was directed at my backside. Goodness….

As I walked the rest of the way back to the office I wondered if I ever gave someone an indirect compliment to avoid saying what I wanted. Yeah, perhaps once or twice, but y’all know me… I usually go for the jugular with my compliments and critiques.

What about you?

I tend to find a lot of people irritating therefore avoid them. I think people can tell when I don’t want them around me.. I hate it when strangers come into my personal space, touch me or if I can smell their bad breath or hygiene issues. I think I have more of an issue with this than most people do.
I also don’t see much point in talking to someone unless I can get something out of them or I really enjoy their company like I find them interesting etc. Whenever I’ve had friends, I’ve noticed I drink too much at the pub and completely dominate the conversations, I like the attention all on me.
I always feel sort of numb, bored or maybe depressed. but I also ruminate and stress very easily, leading me to feel like I have to control situations or avoid them. If I have to work in group activities at university, I zone out and can’t concentrate because I find it overwhelming and don’t see the point of contributing unless I’m the leader however I’d still much rather sit back and do nothing or just do what I’m told to do etc. I used to get very good grades at school without much effort… now I’m struggling and scraping by with passes at uni because of poor time management and having random special interests distracting me.

I also feel the need to be somehow better than others.. this is why I like being a musician… a lot of the people on my uni course can’t play their instruments that well and I feel superior to them because of that.. however I feel upset if they do better than me in assessments. I also get massive anxiety if I feel like I won’t perform well, but if I know my parts well I get a bit egotistical … even as a kid I loved the attention from performing and playing instruments. I also love getting positive attention from lecturers and even seduced one and had sex with them to sort of “test” if I could win him over, but at the same time I was also very infatuated with him for no logical reason at all. I think I wanted to see how far he would go with me.

I like my boss. He is such a sweetheart! He makes eye contact when we talk, laughs/jokes with me, tries to invite me to work outings (which I usually avoid unless they're mandatory), etc. I know he's my boss, but he makes it a point to let me know he'll accept a call for help at any time of the day and wants me to call him when I'm feeling down... I joked about the latter when he first suggested it and accidentally chuckled in a sultry way, which he seemed to do in return? I felt there was some "tension" between us at that time... but that could have been my own "tension" talking.

I love that he's respectful to women regardless of looks, and I also realize that he might not be into me and is just being kind. DGMW, I'm not ugly... but I'm very aware that I'm not everyone's cup of tea... I've been reminded of that multiple times since I was young. Penelope/Colin relationships, especially ones where Pen looks more like Kate or Lady Danbury than Daphne or Queen Charlotte, are uncommon. I've also noticed my coworkers (mostly the women) acting funny towards me ever since this one time he told me he liked my hair. I can't tell when I'm liked because it's so few and far between, so I don't know if they're seeing something I'm not or just being weird... don't men compliment hair?

I made the mistake of dating a coworker while we worked together years ago; I wouldn't dare pursue a relationship with a coworker now. I've also been rejected by every guy I've ever confessed to, so I'm hesitant to put myself out there. I want him to make the first move, but I'm also worried, if he feels the same way, that he's too scared to say anything to me... so I want to try to "guide" him to me. I told him a few months back that I wanted him to "not be a stranger" with me after I quit, and he's said I should let him know when I'm quitting. "Tension" made me feel he was saying it in that sort of way, and I'm thinking of revisiting that convo when I tell him I'm quitting.