Search Results: taking own advice

I'm not content with my social environment and sense of community-aka my family. When shit goes down... I feel rejected by them, alienated & alone.

My goal is tranquility, high aspirations, fame, victory, hopes, & longevity.

I'm going through some "dramatic" events & I have this violent anger which I have kept inside for a period of time.

Ultimately, I feel that this toxic anger that I have is destroying my opportunity to maintain my goals of tranquility, victory, etc. I believe i'm mainly angry because I need to feel important & needed, but I am being ignored & unheard from my family. They prioritize themselves & don't take responsibility for their actions (which leaves me with anger and responsibility over a situation that shouldn't be left to me completely alone). Then because I get angry over it and they are already over it (because they chose not to take responsibility), I'm considered the over-reactor & crazy one that needs to "drop it". I agree that them dropping everything onto me does make me go crazy, but I don't want to always be the one that is forced to deal with everyones lack of compliance- aka I handle everything on my own- and just also have to get over the fact that it happens and act like everything is okay... They are quick to get angry & irrational over something I do, but when I do it back they react to me beyond negatively and respond with "I need to teach you a lesson"? I do not know how to cope with an irrational emotionally charged family, especially after I am pushed beyond my capacity of patience & understanding. Sometimes, I want to murder them and throw their bodies in a gutter... Excuse my language! I'm trying not to hold a grudge, I need advice on how to better handle my family. I hate dropping challenges when I know that I could do better. I could abandon them- easiest solution... But a sense of family/community is important to me. I've prioritized it so much that I don't have energy to reach out to friends.