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We want to be seen, validated, treasured and wanted. And we want to give. We want the freshness of love to invigorate our lives and put the whole world into perspective.
Love is more than sex…more than adoration…more than warm memories. It is alive and vibrant, like a warm fire on a cold winter’s day. Keep it stoked and it stays alive. Let it lie fallow, and don’t expect it to last.
Yes, you can meet someone and have that lightning in a bottle feeling (note: That chemistry doesn’t always come from a healthy place). You can be swept away, by someone’s mind, body, passion for life, knowledge, wisdom, humor, and the way they make you feel. You can see someone walk though a door and lose your words. But love is not about losing your words or being swept away. That’s connection, chemistry, the strong glue that’s produced by two attracted beings. And that collision gives you the feeling of falling. It’s magical. You got dopamine pumping, tingles in your body, can’t stop thinking about the person, and you feel like you’re falling backwards with your eyes closed and smile you haven’t felt in a long time. But that is not love.
I’m sorry.
Because you don’t fall in love. You fall in lust. You fall in infatuation. You fall in amazing chemistry and connection. You fall in hot sex. But you don’t fall in love.
Love is discovered.
There are many many parts to us. We are complicated beings. We don’t always make sense. We have feelings. Thoughts. Phases. We are confusing. Unpredictable. And of course, we hide. Becasue we are afraid. It’s impossible to really know someone in a week or over a weekend. This is why you can’t fall in love with someone on a reality show. Love is discovered and that shit takes time. There are layers to be peeled. And trust must be formed for someone to truly show themselves and we can all agree that trust is earned and takes time, correct?
Love is discovered as you get to know all the different parts of someone. The good, the bad, the ugly, the real.