Search Results: wrong to be protective

so we dated a bit but i was not in a good place for dating. intimacy issues which i've been working on. at the time though i thought it was the worst thing in the world to be in love and that was only for losers. i'm embarrassed by my previous thinking and i feel bd at how i just casually moved on. though i suspect i was already falling and this was part of a protective armor. 'if i'm disgusted by love i won't succumb to it' kind of thing.

anyhow we are friends now a year later. we were off speaking for a while, his choice which i totally understand. I don't know if he's forgiven me for being so insensitive or he's just chosen to ignore it. thing is i want to apologize. but i know i'm in love. i don't want to apologize BECAUSE i'm in love and want him. i want to apologize bc how i handled things was wrong.


is it even necessary to apologize if i've said i'm in love.. that can kind of explain weird behavior anyhow, right?

Again i don't feel threatened by saying i'm in love. so telling me not to say anything to protect myself is not helpful. i'm just trying to figure out what would make more sense objectively. i kind of want to get it out of the way, then if he still wants to be friends after that i'd feel comfortable apologizing. whereas not knowing if he's 'ok' with my being in love, i think it makes everything extra awkward.

i'm ok if he's not in love, its the feeling that he'd be pissed off or freaked out if he knew that bothers me but i know in the pats thats how I'D feel, so I don't know if i'm projecting there or not. I think telling him is like my way of forgiving myself for falling in love or even saying its 'ok'. giving permission. but would it be a terrible thing to do to him?

i think i answered my question but just wanted some outside perspective.

Both 23 by the way.

I've met this really great guy and have never had such a connection with somebody. We decided to be exclusive from the first date. Last night he went out with his friends he sent me a text say you do realise I'm crazy about you. So I went to sleep feeling pretty happy.

We texted a bit this morning but I noticed on his Facebook he has become friends with 3 girls. I have a mutual friend with one of those girls. My friend liked this girls picture which was location tagged the same bar he was in. It just gave me that gut feeling like he was in this bar talking to these girls then adds them on Facebook. If he added a few men then I wouldn't be so worried but they're all girls.

Before him I was in a horrible relationship where I was probably too trusting and got made to look like an idiot because he was cheating on me with everything. So I'm so protective over myself and I really don't want to put myself in a situation to be humiliated. He was talking so much about our future but I suppose I'm waiting for it to go wrong.

Would you trust your gut instinct or do you think there could be an innocent explanation?