Search Results: if you have made a right choice

So my boyfriend gave me $100 Amazon gift certificate for my birthday and valentines.
I found this watch and it looks so pretty but I wasn't sure if it would tarnish overtime. Then I found this necklace and the stone is his favorite color and I can wear it everyday and would always remind me of him. The sapphire is natural. I think it's more precious rather than the watch which is kind of superficial. I bought the necklace. It's more memorable. You think I made the right choice? I can buy the watch for myself. I just wanted his gift to me to be something special and meaningful. Royal blue is his favorite color so I know everytime he looks at the necklace, it would bring joy to him. It would look beautiful in his eyes.
Guys, do you think I spent his money well?

He sent me this:

“Hey sorry the last few days were rough. I know you’re feeling distanced I can feel it too... I don’t want to pressure you and I was kind of feeling like I made things worse. I’ve also been procrastinating telling you because once it’s said it’s said and I can’t bring it back in. Well here goes. I have this deep fear that once I see you that maybe you won’t feel for me how you think you do... or won’t feel how I feel about you. I know with all of me how I feel about you and part of me knows that I’d be lucky to even ever be with you. I don’t want that hope to ever be crushed. Part of me would rather live with the hope that someday I can make you mine then come to the realization that maybe you don’t want that after seeing me. I honestly feel more for you then I’ve even told you. There’s feelings I’ve just waited to say in person because even if I only get too say it one time then at least I’ll be able to look at you and genuinely know how you feel. I can’t lose that hope with you it gives me so much motivation and gets me through a lot of hard times because I know that everything is worth it if you’re there with me in the end❤️” THEN asked something like “What days are you free? I want to take you on a trip. If I wait til my life is perfect then I may never have a chance with you.”

Then he DISAPPEARED, but still viewed my social media stories.
I sent him a message after a week of silence and he stopped viewing my stories.

WTF is even happening?
He finally responded after 2 weeks. Wishing me a Merry Christmas saying he was in a dark place because a loved one passed, and that he doesn’t have any doubts about me, and he wish I knew how he “felt.”

We’ve talked/connected all day every day for 1.5 years straight, but I blocked him because I’m tired of being blatantly ghosted this month, but I can’t help but feel cruel. Why did he ghost me? Was it the right choice for me to walk away for good? My instincts are all over the place. I’m heartbroken:(