Single Mothers Need To Be Put In Check When Raising Their Son(s)

Anonymous
Mother, angered, verbally blows up at her Son who is obviously in distress.
Mother, angered, verbally blows up at her Son who is obviously in distress.

Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of great single parents out there. They somehow make it work, but the same can't be said for every single parent. Especially in the case of #singlemothers raising their son(s). The challenge is already greater due to the opposition of gender, along with their assigned roles: a woman given the job of raising a boy to become a man, and a boy needing to be raised to become a man. There's a lot of downfalls along the parenting and child development process that is solely created by the mother themselves. The way women operate emotionally, the emotional abuse women put onto young men, along with women expressing ideas of #toxicmasculinity due to biased double standards favoring them, are reasons why single mothers need to be put in check when raising their son(s). If you don't believe me, explain how years of emotional and physcial abuse from my own mother has resulted in me being diagnosed with depression and anxiety? If you can't find a way to justify that in favor of the single mother in this scenario, then this following myTake will explain why they shouldn't be justified at all.

Emotional Operation

The core different between men and women: men operate logically, women operate emotionally. Emotions does not equal to the truth, along with what circumstances are right or wrong. This is why women oftentimes get involved in petty drama, constantly make the wrong decisions, and are incapable of controlling their emotions. What makes it worse, society encourages this behavior in women. Women are encouraged to continue this way of thinking because, in the words of toxic feminist: "Women's emotions need to be sought after without judgement from others." When that same mindset is applied into a woman raising a daughter, the odds are even since both the mother and daughter share the same operation. As for a son being involved, the results are messy. I remember being the biggest crybaby and mama's boy out of all my male peers during my early years of school, all thanks to the sole influence of my mother's emotional state. Many times has my life been taken in different directions, most contradicting others, while done with little thinking involved, because of my mother's control over my life. How a woman operates and how it carries over to them being single mothers will only make their son's life confusing, hard to keep up, and the direction of steering them to become men is made even harder.

Abuse

Women believe only men are capable of abuse because men are dominant in strength. That means nothing, especially when a child is involved. A child, having no developed strength in order to fight back against adults twice, even triple their size will be physically dominated over no matter what amount of strength the adult possesses. Except, in the case of a single parent, there's no one to help the child. I've already established that women make poor choices because of their emotions. So, when a mother feels the need to teach their children through corporal punishment, the reasoning for each instance is never made clear nor logically. At times, it's not even the boy's fault, but rather the mother needing an emotional punching bag they can easily excuse as "toughening up a boy." Especially when their sons grow into their pre-teens, single mothers will feel the burden to teach them to become men. And, with their lack of knowledge as to what makes up a man, they make the poor choice in believing physical punishments will shape the core of a man. This can't be farther from the truth. In fact, a boy will only suffer because of the unclear instances as to why they're beaten by their mothers. Outside of the little justice done to boys, the mother will not even logically explain to the child why they did what they did. Nor, will the child even get an apology despite how sever the bruises may be. It's because women by nature are proven to constantly lie not only to others but to themselves. With that being said, and along with many cases even outside of abuse, a woman is least likely to apologize and admit to their wrongdoings. Women will always play the victim card in order to find security as a victim. As the boy grows up into his teenage years and exhibits strength greater than their mothers, that gives single mothers a greater chance of playing the victim card by threatening to call the police of physically assault done to THEM. Women have been proven to lie anyway they can to even manipulate the law into giving them a victims' safe space. If my own mother could constantly get away with beating me over the head with metal objects and punch me enough so to make me bleed and give me fractures, if I could hear my next-door neighbor, a single mother, verbally and physically assault her boys, their bodies being pushed and shoved against my wall as I type this sentence, then it's clear that women are capable of abuse. Not just physically, but also emotionally. The older the boy gets, physical punishments become tiring. So, the mother replaces that with emotional abuse. It's a type of abuse that women are mostly guilty of performing due to their emotional operation, but it's also a type of abuse that's never mainstream enough to become well known as physical abuse, and it's also a type of abuse that will emotionally and mentally damage a child more so than physical abuse. The path towards becoming a man is even harder when emotional and mental damage is at play. And, as you already know from the beginning paragraph, being diagnosed with depression in my young adult years will not help one bit.

Toxic Masculinity

Most women believe a man can only be considered a man if they show little to no emotion. Single mothers who believe in this statement and try to enact that towards their sons will only further the emotional damage already done to them. It's scientifically proven that men experience the same amount of emotions as a woman. So, picturing the emotional damage of boys and young men from single mother households is more clearer than ever. To the victims in these scenarios, showing emotion is taught to show childishness and immaturity. Showing emotion also means an invitation for even more corporal punishment and abuse. My mom has done so every time she believed I even made a quiver when I was younger. That was permission enough for her to slap me across the face, her finger catching over my eye as she does so. Vision temporarily damaged in one eye as she continues punching me in the face. My nose permanently becoming crooked and one nostril clocked up and she beats me over the head with a 15 pound weight. Her excuse being to "beat the bitch out of me." It goes to show, being a daughter in the midst of her emotional state would be easier to live by life. But as for sons of all ages under a single mother household, that means more physical and emotional scars to carry over into your adulthood.

To wrap this up, single mothers need to be put in check before it's too late. Absent fathers need to play their part in taking security over their young boys and leading them to the right path in becoming men. Family, friends, teachers, and neighbors need to pay careful attention to single mothers and make sure they're doing right by their sons. You don't want the next generation of single mothered men to come out like me, someone with too many physical scars to count, someone whose emotions has been literally beaten out of him through fearful tactics that I might as well be considered a sociopath for how little I express emotion, and someone recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety that continues to carry a passive suicidal mindset everyday.

Single Mothers Need To Be Put In Check When Raising Their Son(s)
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Most Helpful Girls

  • JEndigoBleue
    It starts with the seed bearer. Put the father in check first and you "may" have a better outcome of the family dynamic. I say "may" because if he wasn't raised by his dad and mother in the home or coparenting appropriately, he still can be toxic or toxic within his own belief system on how to raise or not raise a child.

    Men talk about they are the leaders. Well, lead from the beginning to marriage and family. Not sex with no condom. Or, allowing a women's sexuality.. her sexual nature to heavily have influence over your decision to make the right decision for you and her. Leaders lead by example. If you want the woman to be of character, you must be of character. If you set the tone to be whores, she will be whores. If you set the relationship formal as intended wise courtship, marriage and family. She will do the same.

    Logic... Well men and not all men don't use logic when having sex "No condom" And, make comments "It's only 99% effective" Yet get upset they now have to be a dad with someone they didn't intended making a family with. Not emotional. Men and women are. It's your human nature to be. I wish people stop saying their is a difference between men and women. Both can think logically if they apply themselves to do so. Men complaining about women comes off emotional.

    It is unfortunate that your mother was not the example of good mom. A mom can be that whether married or not. She may have been dealt with same hand or she's just is. No one faults the seed bearer for making your mom feel special the day she met him or sexy the day she met him or the promises he made with her... Only to have sex and now she's not special, nit sexy, he abuse her mentally, sexually, physically, etc. Now she becomes her leader that she chose to be with. Manipulative, seducive, a user, insecure, etc.

    As you said there are good mothers. And, I would say good mothers and dads.

    To think a man could do a better job raising a child is not good thinking. If he also was dealt an ugly upbringing or just a downright bad parent.

    Women wouldn't have to say "I am woman hear me roar" if she was allowed to do so in the first place. She wouldn't be a feminist, if she was allow the opportunities to live life as a men do. Vote, get an education, career, make her own money to take care of herself and not being raised to be taken care of by a man, etc. It's not the woman it's the man. If you were treated by a woman the way women were treated back in the day even somewhat now, you would rebel "I am man hear me roar"

    I get it. Your experience with your mom have tainted your beliefs about women along with others beliefs about women.

    I feel both men and women are at fault here. Having sex because of only to produce a child that neither one wanted or agreed upon to have. But it's the woman that gets stuck with the responsibility and you wonder why she's mad. She's made to feel bad because she didn't take a life because of moral beliefs.

    Why she mad and bitter? The same reason or foundation men stand on about child and spousal support. Why I gotta be here for what he caused and wanted?

    Not all women are happy, ready and want to be a mom. They just step up to plate of of what look like a good decision at the time gone bad.
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  • Glue-Sniffer
    Since you are not a trained psychologist, sociologist or really trained anything, and your claims are not based on research, your opinion is only valid for yourself.
    The very fact that you ask your audience to explain how your emotional state isn't evidence enough for your baseless claims, makes your whole point invalid.
    If you had a bat shit crazy mom who somehow abused you, then this is bad luck. Happens to a lot of people. Go to therapy and sort things out.
    We can't blame our parents forever for failures in our own life. Eventually we have been away from our parents long enough to overcome whatever shortcomings they had and brought us up with.
    Your long rant only shows that you are looking for someone to blame and that you are not willing to out any work toward improving yourself and becoming whatever person you think xou should be.
    Good luck!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Anonymous
    I'm sorry you suffered emotional abuse from your mother. That sucks. But most single mothers of sons don't emotionally abuse them, and emotional abuse is not the biggest problem with single mothers, by far.

    It is a fact that most single mothers are not capable of raising a son to be a good, strong, well adapted man. Boys need fathers for that, pure and simple. I can't count how many guys I've known who were raised by single mothers who suffered from all sorts of subtle and not-so-subtle deficits in personality and character as a result of not having a strong male parent and role model while growing up.

    Women who were raised without a father have their own sets of problems, most significantly an inability to trust and relate with, and have healthy attitudes toward and relationships with men in their adult lives.

    Single mothers are a huge and growing problem in modern society. The rate of fatherless children has tripled over the last three generations.Single Mothers Need To Be Put In Check When Raising Their Son(s)The fallout from that is staggering. The statistics about the problems related to fatherless children are sad, to put it mildly.

    https://fathers.com/statistics-and-research/the-consequences-of-fatherlessness/

    To be fair, it is often not the mother's fault, at least not entirely. But that isn't a valid reason for not discussing these issues openly because when we don't, there isn't enough awareness of the problems caused by single mothers raising children and thus women are unable to make informed choices. That is hugely important, and needs to change.
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  • Shiver
    I was raised by a single mother and while she's great, she has zero clue how to raise boys. Good shit, had to play catch up for the past 5 years because my dad was gone for 15 years and my mom never cared enough to ask her brothers how guys work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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What Girls & Guys Said

27
  • psychoticanimallover
    Dude, men are SIGNIFICANTLY more emotional than women. Temper tantrums, sensitivity to criticism, undue aggression and competitiveness, rage over being rejected...
  • MzAsh
    Logically, what are your sources for all of the claims and sweeping generalizations you’ve made besides the emotions from your own experience?
    • ZenDracula

      Following.

    • You know I usually share your opinions, but here he is right. Some studies do report boys raised by single mothers are more likely to grow up with behavioral and emotional issues. Not that are are certain to have them, but they are more likely to.

    • MzAsh

      I’m not saying he’s wrong. I’m just curious about how he came to these conclusions.

    • Show All
  • DWornock
    I'm certain there are many exceptions. However, normally, single mothers make poor parents to both sons and daughter. Almost always, single fathers are better parents than single mother but not as good as married parents.
  • ThisIsMyOpinion
    As a guy raised by a single mother, she was an amazing mother! But she had no idea on how to be a father. Let's just leave it at that.
  • ZenDracula
    There's so much sexist bullshit within the first paragraph alone that I don't know where to start.

    Greetings, a man who was raised by a single woman. I'm tired of your bullshit.
    • He literally starts this with "Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of great single parents out there. "

    • ZenDracula

      ... and then goes on to say how bad women are at raising boys. What he does is like saying, "I'm not a racist, I just hate Black people"

  • masonova1
    That's... great.

    Do you have any sources or data suggesting that single mothers are in particular worse at raising sons?
  • Dweezil
    If you leave it up to some women they would cut the testicles off of all new born boys.
  • Razzamatazz001
    Gtfoh! Someone 18 to 24 years old doesn't get to criticize single parents.
  • Evil_Chuck
    I would recommend sharing this with a professional therapist rather than a dodgy social media site.
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