Search Results: physical attraction relationships

Valentine's Day is a great day to celebrate love with your long term partner, but what do you do if you just started dating someone the week before Valentine's Day? What if it's your first date?

There are some expectations about a date on Valentine's Day based on customs and traditions. Typically, a guy makes an extra effort to make it a nice date. He sends his girl a dozen red roses with a note that says how much she means to him. He might arrive for the date with a box of fine chocolates as a gift. The girl has gone to extra trouble to make herself look just right for this special occasion. They share a fine meal together and perhaps move on to a lounge for a drink afterwards. If the relationship already includes sex, both the guy and girl probably expect that the night will conclude with the two of them in bed together. If the relationship is relatively new but they are both feeling a physical attraction, this may be the night when they decide to share physical intimacy for he first time.

So what if it's a first date? Or a second date? If I ask the girl out to dinner for Valentine's Day and I go to all this trouble to make her feel special, she may think that I am expecting her to give herself to me physically at the end of the night. I certainly don't want to make a girl feel pressured on that subject. Maybe she will think this is too much, too soon, and I must be desperate of I am trying so hard to impress her. But if I don't ask her out, will she think that I am being cheap or maybe conclude that I don't feel she is worth the effort? Will she feel a bit depressed because she is sitting at home while all of her friends are going out for Valentine's Day?

What should I do? I don't face this dilemma this year because I am living with my girlfriend who I have been dating for the past year. But I have faced this question previously. How would you want to handle this situation?

When I was younger, if I met a girl, I was either immediately attracted to her or it was never going to happen. She did not need to open her mouth and say one word for me to know. I just looked at her and I knew I was physically attracted or I knew I was not physically attracted. Of course, physical attraction is only one part of a relationship and there was much else to discover.

As I got older, I actually dated a woman to whom I did not feel an immediate physical attraction and after dating for a few months, I realized that I was strongly attracted to her. When I looked at her, I realized that most other guys would not consider her to be attractive, but I thought she was cute and I wanted a physical relationship with her. Ultimately, the relationship failed but not because of the physical attraction.

Have you ever dated anyone to whom you did not feel an immediate physical attraction? Did that attraction develop over time?

Ask guys what they understand about girls and relationships and most of them will eventually say that girls want their boyfriend to be their best friend. We understand that. You want your boyfriend to be closer than anyone else, to be your confidante, to be supportive and caring, to always be there for you. Yeah, we get that. And actually. . . many guys want the same thing in a girlfriend.

So, when your best male friend indicates that he is attracted to you, why do you automatically go to that instinctive, sub-cortical, knee jerk reaction: "But I don't want to take a chance on losing our friendship!" Do you know how lame that sounds to guys? Do you know how STUPID that sounds? And it actually makes some of us angry just to hear those lame words!

How often do you actually have a relationship in which your partner DOES become your best friend? If you feel some physical attraction to your male best friend, wouldn't that give you the best possibility of finding that boyfriend/best friend combination?

Or, is this "But I don't want to take a chance on losing our friendship!" line just a pathetic way of avoiding telling us that you aren't attracted and the idea of actually kissing us makes you want to vomit?