Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

I’m going to make this as simple as possible. A lot of guys may disagree, but this is what I learned from dating super hot 10’s. It’s fair to ask how I got to date super 10’s, the answer is rather simplistic. I was a photographer who worked in the modeling industry, so I met a lot of hot girls on the regular. But, that is not what this is about.

I read a lot of questions referring to looks, or “do hot guys/girls…” and see repeating opinions left saying that guys need money to get the beautiful girls. That has to be the most shallow opinion left on those questions. Seriously the comments left look like:



Be hot



A worthwhile opinion


Be hot



There are a lot of other opinions/comments left about women that are also shallow, if not outright offensive.

So, I’m going to shed a bit of light on what it is like to date the super hot 10’s, and what life looks like for some models and actresses. More than likely a lot of guys are not going to like this take because they are not going to be able to take the bubble burst of reality I’m about to inject into their universe.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

First I’m going to explain that models don’t make a whole lot of money. Unless, they really make it in the industry, and come in demand they, make next to nothing. On average they might make $75 per shoot. If they get regular bookings they might take home $1,500 a month. That kind of money is actually considered being somewhat successful in the industry, if they are booked regularly. Most of the girls are referred to as slash models. Meaning she is a model/waitress, or model/temp worker, or model/bottle service girl. Their life is super crazy dealing with agents, work, and maybe school. Not to mention every guy under the sun trying to get with them.

Now I’m mainly talking about models, but it’s not much different for some (SOME) 10’s that are out there who are not in fashion or acting. The girls who are models come with a cost to keep up their looks. It doesn’t really stem from their insecurities, it come from idiot agents and photographers and other girls telling them what they ‘need’ to do to get more work. A girl I dated for a while had a cost of about $3,500 a month to keep her looks up to the “standard” her agency suggested. That was an average cost, without any surgeries.

Think about this for a second. She underwent procedures that included the risk of death, a slight risk, but still a risk, to maintain her looks every month. That $3,500 was the cost of a regular month, not a big event. A big event cost even more. Risk of death to look good, for the possibility of maybe, maybe, getting more work, and maybe being discovered.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

Also, most of the models think that age 30 is the death age. They will go to sleep at 29 being a hot 10, and when they wake up the next day at age 30 they will look like Yoda from Star Wars. Some of the models think age 25 is the age in which looks takes a dive. I’ve also realized it’s not much different for the some (SOME) of the 10’s who are not in the industry.

The Money And Girls

A lot of guys on here think money is what it takes to get the super hot 10 girl. In one regard it does hold a micro-truth. The reason is because some of these girls need a way to get money in order to survive. However, if you talk to these girls you will find out they don’t like the guy. Most of them actually despise the guy, but stay with him only because he is their primary source of support. Sounds shallow, but she is doing what she needs to do in order to attain the dream that that she sees is within arms reach. I am not saying she is trading sex for money. She is relying on his generosity to meet her financial needs.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

Why do they hate, or despise guys with money? Well, lets look at who they end up with on a regular basis.

Guys with money who treat them as trophy, are boring, insecure, care more about their reputation than her, and in basic terms just acting like he owns her. But, she stays because she actually needs the money, the support, and she hates every second of it.

Guys who are good looking who dumps her at a moments notice for the next girl who catches his attention.

In either case, she’s left worse off than before she met him. She now has find a place to stay, and figure out how to pay all her bills.

Sometimes you find a lot of these girls will live together in some of the worst dives imaginable. Scraping by on whatever cash they can pool together. Ask them about the life, and they would say they wish they could do it different, but this is where they pay their dues. Surviving off mac-and-cheese, going to modeling classes, working a shit job, getting procedures done, hoping the next gig gets them noticed.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

Hopefully, I am showing you that these super 10 girls lives are not all roses and champagne like most guys seem to think. Then you get what I call the “guy catch.”

The “guy catch” is when a guy goes to school and slugs it out for four years in a university trying to get a degree while working his fingers to the bone trying to pay for the education. He looks at this girl working as a bar tender a few hours a night at a college town bar taking home a few grand in tips on a decent night. He then gets pissed because she is making money because of her good looks, then gets jealous of her because she really isn’t “working.” But, he, along with every other guy, wants to be with her. To him, and “average” girls, her life looks so easy.

What that guy doesn’t realize is this super 10 girl is acutely aware that every year she is getting one year closer to death age. Every year guys don’t pay attention to her as much. Every year her income, based off her looks, goes down. Every year it takes more to maintain her looks. She knows that if she stays in the cycle of relying on her looks, she will become more and more dependent upon some guy supporting her later in life, than being able to support herself.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

This choice of relying on her looks to make a living makes her feel like her life is out of control. She literally feels that she has no control over her own life, and it gets worse as she gets older. A guy can go work a little harder to make more money. These super 10’s can’t get more attractive, and a 10 to one guy is a 6 the next guy. So, she has to rely on some guy to earn more money for her. It’s a screwed up way to live. But, this is a reality for a lot of the models guys on here pine over.

So, now you know some of the realities some of these super 10 girls live. If you want to take it in for yourself, just go to the Mecca of model and actress heaven - Los Angeles, California. I lived just south of there for 6 years doing semi-consistent fashion photography. Hit up the Skybar, Lure, Sayers Club, Emerson, or Greystone Manor over a weekend. Dress well, and have a wad of cash. Bottle service is required at many of these places, if you make it past the front door.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

I’m not saying these super 10 girls are stupid, or shallow. Many, if not most, are highly intelligent. The shallow one’s don’t last very long as the industry will chew them up quickly, and discard them even faster. The intelligent one’s who eek out a meager existence in the industry will have some sort of higher education degree, or trade skill. The problem is a double edge sword of getting a regular decent paying career in that education field or trade, and meeting the demands of the industry. The irregular travel, photo shoot scheduling, set calls, and everything else required to be a model or actress makes it near impossible. Many try, but eventually have to make a decision between their dream, and a regular job.

There is also another consideration you need to take into account when dating a model or actress. Can you handle their lifestyle? Pick your favorite actress then ask yourself if you can handle her occupation. Most of you might say “Hell yeah I can.” Really? You can handle four months prep work, three months filming, a month of post production, a month of promotion, multiple film premier parties, and another few weeks of post premier promotion. All done, all over the world. Flying from city to city for single day events. Sometimes multiple cities per day. Don’t forget the magazine interviews, and photo shoots. Also, the fact you may not be able to attend all of this stuff with her. The meetings, fittings, and people calling at all hours. Oh, and don’t forget the paparazzi popping up to snap a few candid photos.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

What if she has a kissing scene, a nude scene, or heaven forbid a sex scene? Your friends and family are going to see that. I was dating a pretty famous actress, at the time, while visiting my parents. I came into the living room and saw her on the television, and the very next scene was a full nude sex scene. There I am in the living room with my parents watching my girlfriend in a full nude sex scene, with another actor, with my mom and dad. The film was done before I met her, but it was quite shocking, and something I had not really considered. A few of my old school day friends also saw the movie, and had given me a hard time over it. At first I played it off like it was no big deal, but the razzing got old real quick.

Don’t think it’s much different for a model, it’s not. Imagine being at work and have one of your co-workers bring over a magazine ad with your girlfriend modeling barely there lingerie. Yep, I’ve had that done to me as well. It’s frustrating when they pin her picture up all over the office as some type of joke.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

Now ask yourself again if you can handle the lifestyle that modeling and acting requires of her.

How to be her 10

Now that I got that part of reality out of the way. Here is the second dose.

Most guys want the super hot girl as some sort of validation. Show up to the high school reunion, or work party, with the hottest girl on his arm, and be able to say “yeah, and all of you who keep laughing at me can now suck it.” I know how it goes. I used to be that shallow, and then you grow up.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

It’s great being a super hot girl. But, this weird thing happens about a month or so into being with her; she becomes a human being. You start to refer to her as your girlfriend as you notice her flaws, insecurities, quirks, and strange habits. She’s no longer this strange being sent from another dimensional plane of existence.

You realize that sex with her isn’t any better than sex with other girls. It could actually be worse. You realize dating her isn’t really any different than dating any other girl out there. Aside from the additional inconvenience of attending her required parties, and the drama between her and other girls, and the agents, and photographers. Oh, and don’t forget the drama of other guys constantly hitting on her at those parties.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

Something I need to mention before I continue. If you are able to get a super 10 once, you can do it again. I need to mention this because it is a trap you can fall into. Don’t be that guy. You can be out with your girl and see another girl and realize that you could get her, if your girl wasn’t there. This normally happens when you actually get used to being surrounded with beautiful women. Don’t fall into that trap, it will destroy you mentally and emotionally.

If you are on the quest for the super hot 10, or really any woman, you need to be her breath of fresh air. To do this is very simple, but it does require effort on your part.

First thing you have to do is take inventory of yourself. You have to know that you can give her more value than she can give to you. Why? Because you need to offer emotional stability in her life. You need to be her sanctuary from all the crap she puts up with on a daily basis when you are not with her. In return, she will give you everything she has to offer. But, only if you are sincere in being her sanctuary.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

To do this you have to be comfortable in your own skin. You know your strengths and weaknesses and you are comfortable with them. You don’t compromise your morals. You can be reasonable in negotiating a disagreement. You are able to actually listen to what she is saying.

What she wants is someone who will be there for her emotionally. Someone who is reliable, and trustworthy. Every guy under the sun tries to either impress her, or show her how big of a man he is. All she really wants is a guy she can talk to, and relate to on an intelligent level.

Second - This doesn’t mean you can walk up to any 8, 9, or 10 caveman style, and get the time of day with her. You need to put some effort into understanding grooming, style, and mannerisms. You are going to have withstand about 2-5 minutes of a gauntlet of shit tests from her and anyone she is with, before she is going to see you as someone of value, and someone who can handle her lifestyle. Now you see why I said you need to be comfortable in your own skin, and why I asked the lifestyle question.

Guys, you need to study up on grooming - everything. Walking up to a super 10 with the “style” hair cut coming from the latest pop star is going to get you laughed at. Pay attention your fingernails, learn how to properly trim and maintain your beard. You need to get grooming right if you expect to get within five feet of her.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

You need to study up on style. This isn’t hard or difficult. There is a proper way to pull off jeans and t-shirts, and then there is the “is he still in high school” mistakes. If you are looking for the 8, 9, 10, or super 10’s and you don’t look like you have your shit together, she is going blow you out before you open your mouth. Especially if she is in the fashion industry. There are 30 other guys behind you, she isn’t going to waste time on a guy who can’t even dress himself. At least learn the basics. Most women, regardless of what number you assign them, are aware of how things go together.

Mannerisms are how you walk and talk. If people keep asking you repeat yourself in a quiet room, how is she suppose to hear you in a club, or at a party? If you can’t speak a sentence without using your hands, learn to stop using your hands. If every other word out of your mouth is um, or uh, practice taking pauses to collect your thoughts. If you walk hunched over, head down, or like you are bobbing in a pool, practice walking with an erect posture. These are extreme basics you should have. She doesn’t want a guy with the mannerisms of a meek little child.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

Last is going to be paradigm shift for many guys if you have read this far. Get past her looks. She knows how she looks, she hears it all day, every day. If you are there just because of how she looks, she will know, and you will tossed aside just like the 100 guys before you. Be her breath of fresh air, be there because you genuinely want to know who she is. Do more by being with her, than she will by being with you.

When I say I don’t care what a girl looks like, I sincerely mean I don’t care. I went through my phase of going out with super 10’s. What I realized is going out with them wasn’t fundamentally different than dating a girl who is considered average. Truth be told, I would take a woman who is average and has the traits I’m looking for, than a super 10 with only half the traits.

Once you remove how the girl looks, you discover freedom. Looks are no longer intimidating. You are able to be yourself around every girl you meet. You are able to speak to women whenever and where ever you are. You are never at a loss of words because you see them as a person, and conversation simply flows. The girl is comfortable and she can open up to you and stop looking for ulterior motives as to why you are talking to her.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

I’m not saying that looks don’t play any role. Yes, some type of physical attraction is present for any relationship. For myself, I just say she needs to be fit and healthy. That’s all I look for, if she fits that criteria I’m good. I have a few deal breakers, but we are talking in the realm of dog collars, and spikes through the nose.

Get past her looks, and just treat her like a human being. Realize that she is not fantasy, and dating a super 10 girl is no different than dating the girl down the street. There may be some additional quirks you are not used to, such as dealing with the nastiness girls can have in the industry, and how guys can be complete asses towards her. If you never dealt with it, get ready for it.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10

To get the girl, be her sanctuary from everyday life. That’s how you can be her 10.


I know I may have painted a pretty negative picture in this. As I said, this was my experience in dating models and actresses and seeing what many of them went through. Not every model or actress went through this, but many did. The pressures from agents, photographers, other girls in the industry, and expectations from guys in general is tremendous. The industry has gotten better about not pressuring, but it still has a long ways to go.

I do not mean to infer that every good looking girl goes out to get plastic surgery or other procedures. I also do not mean to say that good looking girls sell out just to get money. Not every model who dates guys for money is having sex with them. Most do not, and will not, trade sex for money. However, they do have to put up with the constant pressure for sex. I have seen girls get physically ill at just the thought of sex with their “boyfriend.” The reasons they do this vary, but it boils down to them getting what they need in order to survive in a low paying, high promise, cutthroat industry.

Stop Looking At Her and Just Be Her 10
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Most Helpful Guys

  • JimRSmith
    Fantastic Take, as always.

    You're probably right about this pissing off some of the usual suspects on here. But they could do with reading this, very carefully, going away, thinking about it, and understanding it. There's a wealth they could learn from this. And if they would but listen, putting it to good use is not that difficult.

    This brings to mind an especially depressing conversation I had on here, some time ago. The girl wasn't a perfect 10, but she was pretty, but had exceptionally poor self esteem. She'd managed to convince herself that her personality was at fault (which I'd concur with), and the only way to get a man was to suppress her personality, and become somebody else, a brainless doormat, in essence. She seemed quite unable to grasp that men might be after more than a piece of arm candy AND unable to grasp that a lot of these girls might be deeply unhappy, as well.

    I think there's a lesson in your Take for some girls as well as guys.
    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
    • I guess we will see if the usual suspects come out. But, I didn't allow anonymous posts this time. I also should have written it when I was less tired. I have some glaring typo's.

      It's heartbreaking when you see that someone who has just been beaten down so much. I primarily worked with newer, and semi-established models. I only participated in two major shoots. Most of the girls were really sweet, but hearing about their life just got to me after a while. So, I got out of the industry.

      Hopefully, it's enough to give some enough to think about that they stop treating women like trash.

  • Spawnface
    Lot of reading, its appropriate to skip through 90% of it.

    Kettle calling the pot black. Are women obsessesed with money? Your answer is to take a tiny amount of them and then count them as the whole. Then you say, oh but all these women are forced to sleep with guys that have cash for dependancy, which is either a massive insult or a total argument given to what your opposing in the first place.

    Obviously, you mean these certian types of girls, models in particular. The way that you're wrong is simply because you are suggesting all girls follow these rules which is the same argument the people you are arguing against are using.

    Fine, totally believe you and your veiw on these model types. But thats as far as i go.
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • That's not what I said.
      You might want to go back and read the 90% you skipped. I don't count them as whole. It's just my experience at that time, working as a photographer. Much of it still holds true today for many of those women when I talk to people still in the industry. To lump all women together who are considered beautiful, or hot, would be unfair and disrespectful.

      Never did I say they were forced to sleep with guys for money. I actually said the exact opposite.
      "I am not saying she is trading sex for money." - End of first paragraph under Money and Girls. Truth is, many if not most, refuse to sleep with guys who have money. Just the thought of even doing so would make them physically ill.

      I also didn't say all girls follow these "rules."
      "Sometimes you find a lot of these girls will live together in some of the worst dives imaginable." - Under the photographer picture. They don't make a lot of money so they get together and split the bills between them.

    • Spawnface

      You called these guys who say the same thing you reiterated into bigger sentences shallow. You realise that when people make these generalisations you criticize them for, you're doing the very same thing? Guys aren't saying all women this, bla, bla, bla, just like you aren't. But then your calling them shallow.

      I went through it all and like I said, didn't need to go through 90%. Like pretty much its what every other shallow guy has been saying all this time.

    • Think what you want. I'm not trying to argue.
      All I'm saying is you got what I'm trying to say wrong.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Jolenefox
    Feels like i'm reading a guide for one of my games. heck
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Logorithim
    Very interesting, thanks for sharing.
  • FreshOutaIdeas
    Good take my friend!

    I've not (knowingly) dated models or actresses, although I did have a short affair with a gal who at the time was breaking into the industry!

    But having met actresses and their director buddies on off chances being out and about (once I think I was being scouted for some sort of role), even at that level I know what it's like to catch insane amounts of jealousy from even your own friends.

    I have been out with 10's with lots of money behind them though, just not in the limelight, and the experiences are the same. Every other little faggot in the room is jealous and wants what you've got, other girls bitch at your girl, your girl is probably very insecure of this as a result... And as you come to know her more than face value, you realise that not all of them are sexual goddesses, intact some of them have been very *inexperienced*...

    That not a bad thing!

    You'd also be amazed at how these kinds of girls can be intimidated by *you* too. I mean, I ain't no rich man, got a big beard, scars from fighting, coming from rough parts and the other cliches; but having also been "highly educated", and not being afraid to spend on a good night out, they struggle to ascertain *who you are*!

    Anyhow... Nice points raised my man!
  • Kapakani
    Wow, mate I return to gag and I must say I did not expect a take of this level.

    Coming into his take I truly expected the usual, generic level of detail that guys THINK is needed to date girls they consider “hot” or perfect “10’s”.

    Now while I study Mens fashion, grooming and human behavior so damn much... I already knew a whole slew of what you were saying. But the detail that you went into further elaborated on certain aspects that I truly was fascinated with.

    I don’t know a single girl, IN MY CIRCLE of friends that’s not trying to be a Instagram model, because they want likes and follows just because... well, attention lol.

    So they hire photographers and get curious about all the guys with cameras that say they can get them model work and they fall right into the category you mentioned. Pouring more and more into looking better because they’re fairly approaching 25 and getting into relationships and still ending up single.

    I’m not gonna keep texting lol. But my dude this was very unexpected I’ll say. This was one of the best reads I’ve read on gag ever. Very insightful and informative. For both genders.

    I will be saving this and referring back to it l, to keep informed as I still continue dating haha.

    • Kapakani


      I might've put it in wrong but on mine... it says page not available?

    • Kapakani

      ah ok it worked.

      hm, why am I rating these girls lol? I don't like to number people lol.

      but here goes...
      girl/pic 1=7
      girl/pic 2=7.5
      girl/pic 3=8
      girl/pic 4= 7

  • Oram52
    Very interesting My Take and obviously having been a photographer you have better insight. However we are deluding ourselves that we're not continue to desire attractive partners. Like you said it yourself not all women are gold diggers, and not all 10s are dumb. They are just like any other girl once you get to know them.

    So it doesn't negate desire for attractive partners. You have better insights how many guys stopped chasing attractive girls? Especially in LA you see guys in 40s with attractive girls in 20s.

    Shallow people will attract shallow people. People looking for something more substance will look for whole package does not mean looks will be negated or guys will stop chasing attractive girls. And its same for girls. Not to mention personality really doesn't matter much when it comes to short term or hook ups if someone is into it, and for hook ups women put even more value in looks. Its just natural.

    I guess your point is stop worshiping them and make getting 10s everything. I agree. But it doesn't necessarily have to be one or the other, personality and connection matters a lot for relationship. But we will always continue to seek attractive partners. that's just nature.
    • Oram52

      @liamiliki Problem is I'm not good at giving exact ratings :)
      Suppose between 7-9

    • Oram52

      @liamiliki ok so just my quick opinion :) from top left to right.
      The top left is actress I recognize her give her 8.
      Middle = 7-8
      Top right = 8
      Bottom left = 6-7

    • Oram52

      @liamiliki That's the impression I got from her pic. She is attractive and I like her eyes. Others have more glamorous look and last one has more girl next door. Not that it'll make difference just different styles.

    • Show All
  • UnknownXYZ
    Interesting take...

    But if what you are saying is true then I would rather continue remaining the lonely, pathetic virgin jerking off to porn living in my mum's basement than a doing all that shit for a "10". The juice just is not worth the squeeze for me (but hey, it's not like I'm worth it either).

    Give this take a solid 7.6/10.
    • UnknownXYZ

      Ha... This was just on my YouTube feed...

    • Interesting,. Here I am some 20 years out of doing photography, and he’s pretty much saying the same thing.

      Sad to hear things haven’t changed much.

    • UnknownXYZ

      Yeah I thought I was incredible he pretty much said the same things you did. I guess things really haven't changed much.

      Maybe, more women should be encouraged to not put all their eggs in the basket when I comes to any sort of career that heavily involves looks?

    • Show All
  • SketchForger
    This is insightful, but this is more about men finding the ability to date a woman who is a model, not dating a girl who just so happens to be a model.

    I'm good, I don't prefer any girl, I prefer the girl I like. But this is good for guys with low self confidence.
    Like 1 Person
  • gym4ever
    Good my take!
    but i still dont understand why people rate other people. Maybe i rate girl 10 and you rate her 7? Maybe i rate girl 2/10 and u rate her 10/10. We all have diffrent taste.

    And anyway i wouldn't date someone who is usless and can't earn money that means gold diggers 0% chance.
    • shyapples2

      That was exactly my point! Many guys won’t find the girls in those pics attractive and some will

    • I get your point. But, I don't think ratings are going to ever go away. It's in just about every magazine and website out there for both men and women.

      Beauty is subjective, and no one is going to appeal to every person. That was the first part of this take. Lots of women, models and otherwise try to appeal to every guy. And it's a travesty that they feel they have to do that. It's one of the reasons I got out of the industry.

  • shyapples2
    I appreciate that your saying that girls that are attracted to money are shallow, but it’s important to ad that attractiveness is subjective, you don need to be a model to be a “10” I’m sure their are som guys that think the girls in the pictures aren’t attractive and som do
    • shyapples2

      And I like your take so thanks for writing it

    • Actually, that's not what I said. Though I can see where you did get that.
      Many of the girls are highly intelligent, but see no other way of supporting their life. But, they guys they get with, they come to despise over a short period of time. There are some who are shallow, and just want the money.

      Looks are subjective. Which is why many of the girls I knew would undergo plastic surgery to "correct" their looks based on what their agents. photographers, or other girls told them. Even I don't find girls a 10, even though other guys do. Guys I work with will say "she's a 10" and argue the point, even though I say she is a 7 at most.
      In the looks area, I just know what my version of a 10 looks like. However, today I am more personality, than looks. Looks are just a bonus.

  • winterfox10
    So so so true! Also, the constant rumors about what a slut your girlfriend is get old. Like relax bro, she saw through the fact that she was just toy to you, and so she didn't let you play with her... that's not HER bad, that's on you.
  • Godismystrength
    I still think to this day that the industry that you work for is covered in immoral sexual behavior that's my opinion on your industry. It's is a general opinion on what I believe the industry is and any other industry for that matter.
    Feel free to comment down below.
    • I actually don't work in that industry anymore. I got out years ago because I couldn't handle watching some amazing women putting themselves through dangerous procedures because of someone elses opinion of them.

      The immoral sexual behavior you mention is a very, very small part of the industry. I would say less than half of one percent. I can't deny that it does exist, but it is a very small percentage.

  • Other_Tommy_Wiseau
    this post makes me sad... i could've dated a couple models. i saw 1 of them recently and she was stuuuuupid hot. the kicker is she liked me wayyy more than i liked her at the time :/
    • Yep, that sometimes happens.

      I have a couple girls that keep trying to get with me. But, I'm taken at the moment. I'll talk to them. But, that's as far as it will go.

    • I'm single as a ma'fucka... never had a girlfriend. that's the real kicker :D. oh well... i haven't talked to either 1 since high school at the latest. i've only felt compelled to date 2 girls i've met, though... but that's a sadder story for another day, i suppose.

      i do have a question for you, though... how the shit do you meet girls after college? like, it feels impossible :|. i'm not used to this not having a ton of friends thing. hell, even when i lived in italy and didn't know a soul, i made friends in a heartbeat

    • Actually, this take has generated a lot of people messaging me asking that exact question.
      "How do I meet girls like you described?"

      I have two follow on takes. One I have already posted. The other I'm finishing up. It's my hope that these will answer your question. I give you both the links once I finish this second one. I just have to do the final edits, and add the photo's.

      To be honest, I'm single as well. But involved with an amazing woman at the moment. She is a complete jewel of girl.

    • Show All
  • sageevalentine
    I'm a model... :). I think this is a very sweet take. You've obviously thought a lot about it.
  • drummerdude25
    The dude in the Hulk shirt vs. the same dude in the suit... this sort of thing should be obvious. You can enjoy nerd culture all you want in your free time, I love gaming and Sci-Fi as much as the next guy, don't get me wrong... my avatar image is me dressed as freaking Star Lord on Halloween lol... but when you're around the kind of people you want to impress, don't go out looking like a dweebo.

    Money, money, money... all the time. That's the mindset... And I swear, some guys have no concept of what's cool as far as projecting status in social settings, or coming off as a likeable guy. It's like they don't have a single, "cool bone" in their body, or aspire towards anything, or whatever... I don't understand it. They're seemingly content with coming off as lame, or looking like a slob, and it isn't doing them any favors, that's for sure...

    Why wouldn't you aspire to be your best self?
    • That's a photo of a guy who actually now teaches fashion and style to other men. I don't agree with everything he says, but he is actually really good. That's a photo of him before and after he discovered that his "fashion" sense was holding him back from getting past hello with a girl.

      He was 20 something dressing like he was teenager.

  • moviedude714
    "Dude the only thing that matters for a hot girl is that she looks good. That’s it. Her societal value is how she looks"

    Got that from a guy who used to work for RSD
    • RSD, Really?

      The company that has coaches leaving in droves, is in trouble because of restructuring being done by Tyler, and members wanting their money back because of lack of substance in their "courses." That RSD?

      Whoever told you that is a tool. Yes, I'm very familiar with that company.

    • jmstarling

      @liamiliki 10, 8, 10. 7

    • Yeah their popularity seems to be declining

    • Show All
  • Good one. It's easy to get with any woman you may desire, just be cool and confident and they'll appreciate you for it.
  • lightbulb27
    good insight.

    Do you find them less committed? That is the person, but that would be an assumed threat to an average guy that he can't keep her happy. probably false, have to keep her emotionally happy...

    I thought you'd say how they are a 10, but when you get to know them, it is a lot of show. Inside, they are insecure. They are just women, and I wonder if their beauty causes them more problems than they can handle.

    True then to say, appearance is important to them, so must be to the man.

    That's it..."Truth be told, I would take a woman who is average and has the traits I’m looking for, than a super 10 with only half the traits."
    • so enligthen us... what kind of "shit tests" have you had. how do you navigate them? does it just come down to emotional honesty and not being intimidated?

    • I never found them less committed than any other girl. It's just the lifestyle can be a bit insane once in a while if an event happens. It's not that they don't want to spend time with you, they simply can't because of the jobs demand.

      I don't think the beauty itself causes them problems. I think what causes them problems is the expectations placed upon them to maintain that beauty. One girl explained that she was just used to looking how she looked because it's all she has known her entire life. She just didn't understand all the attention, and what separated her from the next girl as she considered the other girl more attractive than her.

    • The tests vary from one girl to the next. I find it usually follows a similar pattern.
      She will blow you off on the first approach just to see how easily you give up. If you handle it gracefully, she might give you a chance.
      Next she will try to see if you are taken by her status. Attempt to see if you will buy drinks, or do some small task just because she asks. In other words see if you will "buy her attention."
      Following this she will see if you are low status by asking what you do. Low status guys will brag as a way of impressing. This is another place to handle gracefully, then turn it back on her.
      All of this lasts about 2-3 minutes. She will then kind of open up, if you pass.
      A few minutes later it will come up again for about another minute or two to test you again.

      Like I said it's different for each one you meet. But, in my experience, it follows a similar pattern. The areas pointed out may in a different order as well. Also, they may come her friends. How you deal with friends is highly important.

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  • Wammu
    Dude, I agree 100% and I believe you.

    I've done a LOT of improvement.
    My clothing is on point.
    My confidence is at a 10.
    I approach every day

    But I'm still having trouble.

    Thing is, I can't really seek help from friends who are doing better than me because I don't want to affect how they see me (even I have my insecurities) and one week I'm on a hot streak, then the girls ghost me or curb me and I go into a depression for a week.

    I need help and you are dating the women I want to date, but I'm having trouble.
    • Not to worry.

      I have gotten a lot of messages from guys such as yourself asking me what I do, or how I did it. So, I'm doing two more takes showing what I did, and what I do. I should have them up in a few hours.

      I'm giving lots of exacts, so it shows that I'm really no different than anyone else. I just do things a little different. The biggest thing is being congruent. Everything lining up. So these next two takes should really help address your problem area.

    • I mentioned I have gotten lots of questions. Here are the two follow up takes to this one that may help.

      Beyond Just Being Her 10 - Questions Answered Part 1 ↗

      Beyond Just Being Her 10 - Questions Answered Part 2 ↗

  • Eryxx
    That was something new and very interesting.
    Absolutely like it.
  • FunkyMonkee
    I'll take every one of them!! When do they wanna meet me?
  • MementoMori_
    Ehhhh... depends on the girl. I'm wealthy and so are most of my friends. As soon as a girl finds out I have money she's all over me. So I don't tell them. I can get plenty of 10s just based on my stack of cash if I go around flashing it, but I want more than a 10, I want a true friend and companion. I've found both beautiful girls and not so beautiful girls that change their whole perspective on me when they found out I had money. It's a handicap to building relationships since I can never tell if it's me or the money they are after. That's why I usually don't tell them for as long as possible. It's the only way I can figure out their true intentions. Men are primarily attracted to looks, women are primarily attracted to power. Money is power. Women find a man with a lot of money intoxicating.
    • What I meant to mention also is that my wealthy friends have the same experience.

    • I also want to comment on something else. Men make huge and sometimes even life threatening sacrifices for their careers as well. No one is forcing anyone to be a model. It's a choice. I agree with much of what you say, having dated a few models myself, but when you make choices in life you own the consequences. That holds true no matter what career you choose.

    • Some more comments. My last LTR was with a very good looking girl who came from about as opposite an upbringing from mine as you can get. She had nothing. It took me a long time to trust her. Prior to that I mostly dated only girls who were also wealthy because I knew they weren't only interested in the money. There's some comments on another perspective for you.

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  • unomilkis1
    Good take but I can't help but to think that this is usually the less common side of the story.
  • Anon-ymous1
    Decent Take. Very interesting. You really shared a multi-faceted perspective on an issue that a lot of guys take for granted.

    The only thing I take issue with is not "Get past her looks, and just treat her like a human being," because that's fine, but the implication just above it that looks and physical attraction don't matter. Uhh... yeah they do. A lot. That's one of the big ways that guys' interest is kept in the long run. No, that's not "shallow;" it's simply how things are. Too many girls get in relationships or marriages and then gain twenty-five pounds because they think they've got you regardless. And... that's crap. I know you said "I'm not saying looks don't play a role," but you directly contradicted yourself earlier by saying that average girls can be just as hot as 9s and 10s. I respectfully disagree.
    • I see what your saying. The early comment on getting past her looks is mainly intended for those who go after nothing but looks. They see the hot girl, and build a fantasy around her, that she can never live up to.

      I see what your saying, and I agree. I just didn’t explain it well enough. Thanks for the catch.

  • DeeDeeDeVour
    That was enlightening.
    Like 1 Person
  • Nik1hil
    I need a graduation from you..
    • I haven’t instructed in some time. Plus it would expensive.

    • Nik1hil


  • Love it
  • themomo84
    For myself, you have to be intelligent. Thanks
  • OpenWine
    holy smokes too much text
    • OpenWine

      @liamiliki aren't they all the same girl in a different style.
      she's pretty

    • OpenWine

      @liamiliki they're all pretty then. literally looks have shown to be less strong factors of attraction to me even tho it's the first thing you see

    • OpenWine

      @liamiliki I won't do that.

  • atheistaredumb
    hahaha stop talking lol