To wrap up, answering the questions I have gotten over how to meet and keep a girl I’ll go through how I learned to meet quality girls.
Here's a link to the original MyTake that started the questions. Original Link.
Here is Part 1 of this and the prep work. Part 1.
This is noway a 100% sure fire way to get every girl you set your eyes on. You have to remember that every girl is different, and there is no possible way to prep you for every situation you may come across. As you get better though, things become easier as you become more adept at showing your own personality.
If you have done the prep work, and your life is somewhat in order, you stand a better chance than someone who is playing around by trying to emulate YouTube videos.
Sure, you can go sign up with pickup artist schools and spend tons of money on them. You can read the books and watch the video’s. What they don’t tell you is they don’t teach it as it was taught back when it all started. Just look at where I was for six years. Just south of Los Angeles. The mansion where it all started was in Hollywood. Yes, I was there. From the bulletin board internet days to the “mansion school” days in West Hollywood just off Sunset Blvd. A few years ago the place was torn down, and replaced.
Today these “schools” have a bad habit of leaving off all the prep work I covered in part 1 of this. They gloss all that over because no one wants to hear that part. They paid to learn how to meet lots of women. So, that’s what is given.
Their video’s don’t show the coaches getting rejected time and again by women. Anything they don’t want you to see they blame on filming, editing, or sound errors. They don’t show what happened after, it’s only a vain hint. Most of what happens is bunch of nothing. By sheer numbers, the coaches have lots of girls who are friends.
Go to an actual school and watch their coach get rejected. They cover it up with “I need a few practice sets to get in the zone.” What actually happened is real life, and you’re not as good as your hype. If they do happen to get her they strut back and tell you “that’s how easy it is. Just do what we told you.” To a guy with “bad luck,” it looks like magic.
Many of those “coaches” will flat out tell you that you are not trying hard enough. If you don’t do exactly what they say, and don’t push the girl, they won’t coach you. Though you paid them $1,500 (for a weekend) to $20,000 (for a week) to learn how to talk to girls.
Enough with that, let’s get into how I learned.
First Two Weeks
If you have not done the prep, you need to as there is no way around it. If your life is not in order, you will get hit and miss and have no clue as to why. If you have done the prep, then continue.
This is set for two weeks. If you finish it early then pat yourself on the back, and move on. Do not cheat or shortcut yourself. Cheating will make the following steps even harder.
Here is the thing to do. Say Hi or Hello to 10 girls in three consecutive hours. They cannot be captive. Meaning they cannot be a waitress, cashier, or counter worker. This is the rule for every step.
Walk up, say Hi or Hello, and walk away. That’s it. Ten girls in three hours. That’s one girl every 18 minutes. If there are three girls in a group, it is three separate hi’s. You can’t say it once and count it as three.
What this does is gets you used to walking up to a girl and opening your mouth. This tends to be a big stumbling block for a lot of guys. Don't get in your head, and start thinking you can't say something. Once you see you can walk up and say something, and they don’t bite your head off; it becomes easier. Remember to look her in the eyes, don’t talk to her shoes (or elsewhere).
This is simplistic, but it works. Just say Hi, or Hello, and walk away. Yes, she may look at you weird.
Second Two Weeks
Do the same thing as the first part, but you will attach a question or statement to the introduction.
“Hi. Do you have the time?”
“Hello. Just wanted to say I like your outfit.”
Keep it simple, and walk away. You have two weeks to approach a total of ten girls in three consecutive hours. Once you have done this, you can move to the next exercise.
This gets you used to transitioning from an introduction into starting a conversation. Guys over complicate this so bad. If you ever studied pickup at all and saw the “flow” diagrams done by Erik you would see how complex those got. Even Richard, James, Neal, Owen, and Nick can get over complex. Forget the attraction diagrams and keep it simple.
This also helps you think on your feet while acting natural. Don’t be a robot.
This brings me to another point. Don’t act like an idiot. Don’t go up the street and talk to every single girl you see in a single streak. Unless you enjoy talking to angry business owners, or the cops, about your unusual behavior. You also don’t want to cause such a scene as what happened in England around Leicester Square. It was so bad their locals actually called it Pester Square because girls constantly got pestered by guys. Just Don’t.
It’s the reason you have three hours to talk to ten girls. You can walk a good distance in 18 minutes. This way you will not get the police called on you for harassing women on a single street corner.
Once you can do this move on.
One week, five girls, three hours
This is a killer for most guys. You are actually going to strike up a short conversation. If you were lucky, you might have already had one or two of these. But, this time you are going out to with the intention of striking up a short conversation with a girl you don’t know.
“Oh, dear God how do I do this?” First, don’t go on the internet and search for helping openers. They are old, don’t work, and burned up. If it’s published, it’s burnt, don’t use them. The next thing to do is to take a deep breath and relax.
I find it’s easy to just be direct with the girl. But, that’s me and my personality. I’ve also been doing this for a while.
Me: “Hi there. Nice outfit.”
Her: “Oh, uh, thank you.”
Me: “To be honest, I just wanted to talk to you.”
Her: “Uhh, okaaay.”
Yes, it’s forward and rather blunt. However, I’m aware of my body language, tone of voice, and I’m non-threatening. Some girls will tell me right off “I have a boyfriend.” Others, may be a little intrigued and ask me why. Still, some may be a bit flattered and play along.
Where I take it from there is totally up to her. The boyfriend thing, I may play off with a joking comment, or a “fair enough. He’s a lucky guy.” Then spin it into an old opinion based question. “Really though, I just wanted an opinion on…” pick something. Keep it simple, thank her for her time, and leave.
It’s thinking on your feet, which some guys have a hard time doing. There have been times when I have done this and actually got stopped from leaving. A few times I got an apology because they thought I was trying to actually pick them up. Because that was not my intention, their perception of me changed.
The other two examples are easy enough. This one I chose to give help on because these are the tough one’s you learn from. Some girls get approached so often by low lives that their “bitch shield” goes up instantly when any guy approaches. You see it when you walk towards a girl, and she is watching you out of the corner of her eye. She’s just waiting for you to approach. In her mind she is thinking “Ugh, here we go again.”
This doesn’t mean she’s a bitch. She’s just tired of bottom feeder guys trying to get in her pants. Doing this little exercise of striking up a 3-5 minute conversation allows you to navigate these initial rejections. Don’t take them personally. Realize it’s a trained response she has developed over years of dealing with undesirable guys.
You are not there to get anything. No phone numbers, no dates. Just a conversation, so don’t push it any further. When she senses you do not have an ulterior motive you stand a better chance of having a conversation. Later on it will help girls to see that you are actually a good person who just wants to know her, and let the cards fall where they may.
One Week, Three Girls, Five Hours
In the pickup world there are these guys who are called “naturals,” It seems as though they don’t really have to do any work to talk a girl. Well, that’s not really true, they are just better at navigating a conversation.
So that is what this part is there to help you with. “But I can talk to girls.” No, you can’t. If you could you wouldn’t have read this far, and left some “This is bull shit. You must get friend zoned a lot” comment. If that’s what you think, so be it. But, people ask how I learned, and this is how.
This whole thing is like learning another language in the Rosetta Stone, or Babble app way. Here’s a picture, or scene, here’s the word, or phrase for that picture or scene. Some guys learn the language early. Others only learn enough to ask for directions in a foreign land.
Here, you are going to go and strike up a 30 minute conversation.
The way I did this was to shop for clothes. I would find a girl who was shopping in the same store and ask her for help in picking things out. Then, I used that as a spring board into a conversation. Just don’t be creepy. Keep the conversation light, don’t make inappropriate remarks. You want her to feel comfortable and not threatened that you will stalk her later on.
If she feels comfortable enough, you may get a one or two asking you for your number. Just keep in mind that you have no expectations of that happening.
Two Days, Two Girls, Five Hours
The final stage. If you have actually done everything you will notice that things become easier. Conversations flow much smoother. The girls relax and actually enjoy being around you.
You are not going into the situation looking to get phone numbers and dates. You are not on the prowl to bed some woman. That stuff is what the “schools” teach, and it works only on certain types of women, though they claim otherwise.
So, in this part you have two days to talk to talk to two girls, in five hours. Each conversation should last for about 45 minutes. So, this translates into what is called a mini-date.
This is going to take a little effort. You will need a place close by, walking distance, to take the girl. Not your house. A cafe or coffee shop where you can sit and talk.
No driving. Seriously, you just met her and expect her to jump in a car with a stranger? Talk about creepy.
Do exactly what you have been doing. However, you politely ask whether they would join you for a coffee or tea. NOT THREE MINUTES IN. I saw guys doing this continually, no. Give her time, don’t rush it. When it’s obvious she likes talking to you, and doesn’t mind your company, then invite.
If all you have is a seating areas close by, then ask whether she would like to sit.
Ideally, you should have a girl, or two who actually wants to see you again. If not, it’s not a big deal.
Why does all this work?
Several reasons actually.
The first I already pointed out. Learning a second language. You are learning to talk to women without an ulterior motive being present.
If you look back on previous relationships, which one’s are the most memorable? The one’s where you actually set out to get someone? Or, the one’s that seemed to just happen? I’ll venture to guess that the one’s that just seemed to happen were the better of the two. No expectations.
The third reason is that she actually selects you. That’s right, she selects you.
You select her by the initial approach. You have no other intentions than just talking to her. If you did all the prep work, can carry an interesting conversation, and actually listen to her, she will let you know if she wants to keep seeing you.
Don’t get all pissy if it doesn’t work out. You were not there for anything other than conversation anyway. She doesn’t want to talk, so be it.
Act like a tool, make inappropriate sexual remarks, don’t allow her to talk, try to impress her, and she will walk away. Don’t be “that” guy.
Last reason is that this is what we did before all the “stuff” was added. Before the classes and work shops were added, we just went out to talk to girls. We found certain things made it easier like the “opinion openers,” “bouncing,” and “kino.” But, those are crutches and don’t always work. When they didn’t, we found ways to make them work. Remove those and all you have is talking, being social, and showing who you are.
When you get used to talking to girls, you get adept to reading what they are saying. You can see the body language and hear the tone fluctuations in the voice. The rest will naturally work itself out, if you have your life in order.
You just need to approach, talk, and be yourself. If your personalities align, she will let you know.
So that is how I learned to meet girls. It took me a year before I was really good at it. Today, I can walk into any place and just strike up a conversation with nearly any woman I choose to talk to. Then let the cards fall where ever they may. I’m not needy, or desperate, for someone to “complete” me. I’m just placing an invitation out there for her to join me on my journey. If she accepts, great. If not, it’s no major loss to me.
I pose no threat to them because I have zero motive than to just talk to them. I see a girl, I just want to talk to her and find out who she is. I don’t care about phone numbers, dating her, sex, or relationships. It’s great if it happens. The planets synced and stars aligned for something more. Until than she is just a person whom I saw that seemed like someone I would like know a bit more than everyone else in the room.
Maybe, I’m a guy she would like to know a bit more as well. I won’t know until I actually talk to her.