I've never thought I'd actually write a take about 'bad' guys because the term itself is rather immature and cringeworthy. It still doesn't take away that most women would ditch any guy for a 'bad' one. The question is why? One would think it is something for immature girls to do, but boy are we wrong if we look objectively at this matter. Grown women prefer them too, just with a different definition. Since I see this topic way too often, I thought I'd give it a shot and explain objectively why it is the way it is. The word bad guy is so often used, we don't know anymore who we are referring to. To some men, it makes complete sense why women desire a 'bad guy', while to some it makes them wonder what the hell women see in them. I will address different perspectives based on studies (my major has a lot to do with the differences between male and female too).
First of all, what exactly is a 'bad' guy?
To understand what pulls women to ' the bad guy' we need to know who he exactly is. It is so vague. If we have to listen to little girls, it's the one who misbehaves, but is he really? Is it rational that women fall for someone who only wants to use them? Who is he? Is he that douchebag who appears in certain movies? The player falling in love? The hero who disobeys orders and rules? The guy who treats his girlfriend like shit? The guy with a leather jacket leaning against his motorbike smoking a cigarette? The guy who knocks off everyone standing in his way? The guy in prison? The guy who bullies the girl he secretly likes? Or is it the stubborn mature man who follows his own way? Who the hell is THE BAD GUY?
Looking at the patterns, we know this for certain:
- He is aggressive and competitive.
- He is usually handsome.
- He disobeys orders/rules if it doesn't appeal to him.
- He is logical and has a thick skin.
- He doesn't care and is honest.
- He gets what he wants and he is dominant.
- He is dangerous and mysterious.
- He is confident and brave.
- He is less vulnerable.
The historical perspective
Now we know what kind of traits the generalized bad guy has, we should go back in time. I want to start with the historical perspective. Throughout history the main concern was survival, defending one's territory and conquering. Men took their roles extremely seriously and had no other choice but to do that. Since we live in an entertainment society nowadays, that concern faded away. The vast majority of men may not have that concern anymore but they still show patterns of it which I will explain in the psychological perspective.
What has this to do with 'bad' guys? That's simple, if we look back at history, a population was filled with bad guys. It was the only way to survive. Have men been nice guys of a certain country, their territory would be conquered by stronger men of other groups.
The heroes we read about, all have the traits of a 'bad guy', that's how they became a hero in the first place. It takes a thick skin/rationality, braveness and aggression to go beyond your comfort zone. They made strong leaders and out of all the men, their survival was the highest. Women were and still are attracted to such men for logical reasons; they wouldn't want to have a family without a father/a strong role model, they are at the top of the masculinity spectrum, and they could trust such a man protecting them. They were seen as a threat to other men too, especially those who had a high position. Other men respected them and behaved carefully around them. Letting them know how strong you are, was the way to gain respect. If a man behaved like a nice guy, he'd be seen as a doormat and other men wouldn't think twice to touch and take away what is his or who he loves.
As one has noticed, they disobey rules if they don't like it and they do everything to get what they want. Since they have a dominant character because of higher hormones (which I will explain in the biological perspective), the desire to have power is bigger too.
The biological perspective
Despite current efforts of the European commission to combat gender issues with respect to gender equality, men and women are different in several important aspects (Cahill, 2014). These aspects include cognitive functioning and behavioral traits. Some of these may be socially induced, but scientists have showed on intact animals that other factors such as genetics and gender itself are mostly responsible forthe sex differences in behavior and cognition. Therefore, the current research strategies are calling for including both males and females in the research in order to report the possible gender differences (Ruigrok et al., 2014). Indeed, the exact mechanisms and reasons of sex differences in brain structures that mediate some of these functional dissimilarities are unknown. Genetics and endocrine factors are the most prominent biological explanations and are interconnected. Testosterone is the major male sex hormone. It is present in women, although in much lower concentrations
According to several studies men are different from women, this is a fact. No feminism movement can change that. It doesn't matter how hard we try to be equal, we will never be. Men have always been the stronger dominating sex and they'll still be in the future. One can be offended all he likes, but this is factual. Although the testosterone levels are generally lower in men than the past era's, men are still functioning on it and always will. The reason why men had higher testosterone levels in the past is because the production of testosterone was highly stimulated (men trained a lot more/had to use their bodies a lot more, the environment was based on strength, diet was different etc). Women function on estrogen which is generally lower nowadays too. What has testosterone to do with 'bad guys'? To answer that question, we need to answer this question first: what does higher levels of testosterone to the male body?
-Muscle growth, increased strength
-Strong erections/ strong sperm production
-Strong bones/ higher bone density (larger frame, wide shoulders (mesomorphic))
-Stimulates hair growth
-Increases impulsiveness, risk-taking
-Sharper mind/ the use of rationality is increased
-Increased desire to dominate/ success and power
-Decrease of the use of emotions
-Superior spatial abilities
-Increased admiration for strategy and sports
-Better immune system
-Attractive body odor
-Less likely to be depressed
-The use of fewer shorter words/ straight to the point / less talkative
-Stronger focus on solving problems on their own
-Deeper voice (larger adam's apple)
-Masculine appearance (testosterone stimulates bone growth, the jaw appears defined and pronounced, the chin bigger, the cheekbones and the forehead wider, the eyes deepset, the nose larger etc).
Sounds familiar. These traits are also seen in most 'bad guys' and 'alpha men' (also an immature word). This is in theory highly attractive to the straight woman as it indicates a strong immune system as well, next to masculinity. The higher the T levels are, the worse these masculine traits are. The lower it is, the less of these traits and therefore the more feminine traits.
To figure out the co
mplex relationship between hormones and hotness, researchers from Abertay University in the U.K. studied 74 Latvian men in their early 20s. They gave the men a Hepatitis B vaccine, which triggers the immune system to produce antibodies to fight the virus, and took blood samples before and after. Using the blood samples, researchers measured the men’s antibody levels, as well as levels of testosterone and the stress hormone cortisol.
The researchers then showed photographs of each man to 94 Latvian women, who were also in their early 20s, and asked the women to rate the pictures on a 10-point scale of attractiveness.
Turns out, the most highly rated men were those with stronger immune
responses and higher levels of testosterone. “The more antibodies a man produces in response to a vaccine, the more attractive his face,” Fhionna Moore, co-author of the study and a psychologist at Abertay University, told Cosmos magazine.
As we can see in the picture above, the male brain differs a lot from the female brain. The main differences between the male and female brain are:
The male brain:
- The male brain is predominantly hard-wired for understanding and building systems.
- Value more for power, politics and competition.
- When listening, neurons on only one side of the brain are activated.
- In interpretation of the whole sentences, men use one side of the brain.
- Only right hemisphere deals with emotions.
- Males have a hard time expressing emotions due to their brain structure (only on one side) (and not because of the environment).
- Male brains are larger.
- Less connective tissue between hemispheres.
- Not wired for human gaze.
- Smaller hippocampus (men recall fewer details except when angry or threatened).
- Talking increases dependence.
- Self-esteem is about independence.
- Men use their analytical brain structures.
- Smaller limbic cortex (regulates emotions)
- Larger frontal lobe (problem-solving, decision making)
- Larger parietal cortex (space perception)
- Larger Amygdala (regulates sexual behavior)
- More white matter which is responsible and needed for spatial tasks.
- Agression is instrumental.
The female brain:
- Predominantly hard-wired for empathy.
- Value the development of altruistic, reciprocal relationships.
- While listening neurons on both sides of the brain are activated.
- In interpretation, women use both sides of the brain.
- Faster and more accurate at identifying emotions.
- More adept in encoding facial differences and changing vocal intonations.
- Part of brain involved is large.
- Use both hemispheres.
- The female brain is 10% smaller and 11% more dense-wired for more gut feeling.
- More connective tissue between hemispheres.
- Wired for human gaze.
- Larger hippocampus (emotion/memory- women recall more details with emotional events).
- Talking increases oxytocin and dopamine (pleasure centre).
- Self-esteem is about connecting.
- Women use their emotional brain structures.
- Larger limbic cortex, which regulates emotions.
- Smaller frontal lobe (problem-solving, decision making)
- Smaller parietal cortex (space perception)
- Smaller Amygdala (regulates sexual behavior)
- More gray matter which is responsible and needed for verbal tasks.
- Agression is relational.
How is this possible? Considering that men and women started as the same at one point inside the womb. This has all to do with the huge influence of hormones, it changes the appearance of the brain structure completely.
The male fetus receives big amounts of testosterone, while the female fetus receives big amounts of estrogen. I mentioned it before: the higher the t levels (which is due the exposure to huge amounts of testosterone in the womb) the manlier a guy will be. The higher the estrogen levels, the more feminine a woman will be.
Even when a guy didn't receive enough testosterone and more of estrogen than the limited small amount (which is extremely small in boys), he will be still more masculine, than a girl with heavily masculine traits because of a lack of estrogen and a bigger amount of testosterone than the limited small amount (which is extremely small in girls.)
The psychological perspective
I mentioned the brain differences for a reason. The way the male brain is makes a man behave differently from a woman, and women are attracted to that. Men have due to their brain a higher feeling of responsibility to protect their family and to provide for them (look at history). Even nowadays where mainly women and some men are pushing the 50/50 rule, we can still see how the man feels more responsible and is more likely to take matters in his hands, even when his t levels are average. Not to mention how the protective instinct is still there. Especially when another male is around.
I've mentioned before that nice guys wouldn't really survive in the past, because no matter how we twist it, men will always look up to someone who is respected and look down to someone who isn't. Respect is so important to the male gender which is directly connected to their dominant nature.
A male who doesn't care about respect or doesn't give it much importance like nice guys in general, will be seen as unmanly and a doormat. They struggle to get a woman for a reason too. Someone like that is more likely to be submissive due to lower T levels and would literally worship a woman to keep her and not because he wants her. He will most likely use emotional blackmail if necessary. He would be desperately chasing women and lowering his standards.
A 'bad' guy values respect a lot, he wouldn't chase anyone but the woman who makes his heart beat faster. He is very rational and confident about it.
What is so important to the female gender is the feeling of being special. A 'bad' guy could make her feel this way, because she knows she is the chosen one. The nice guy can't make a woman feel this way, because she is just one of the others he tried his chances with. Nice guys are also the ones who can't handle rejection well, because of their inferiority complex/ low self-esteem.
Besides the preference for height, women also tend to show a preference for indicators of dominance in men, such as physical strength and masculine facial features. The controversial psychologist Jordan Peterson goes as far as claiming that women hate harmless men.
Attraction is determined by the hormones. Someone who fits in the top of the masculinity or femininity spectrum will be always generally attractive because their genes are the healthiest and their immune systems are the strongest. Not to mention, a straight woman, no matter her hormones, unless she has a lot of testosterone (then again she would be most likely lesbian, this is confirmed), will always fall for the one who is the most masculine. With men it's exactly the same, except it is about femininity in a woman.
BUT 'BAD' GUYS TREAT WOMEN BAD
Who is the bad guy anyway? Is he the abusive man? Theoretically speaking, it's just the masculine man who is given an immature label. Why? because they appear like robots or even cold (very rational and less emotional), they don't talk as much, they are therefore mysterious and they can be dangerous. They are a an exciting riddle to the female gender, because they're unpredictable. It's true they're more likely to be aggressive physically, but so is the nice guy emotionally. In the end it all depends on the intelligence. Someone stupid (or has had a hard past) and masculine is more likely to end up in prison and to have really bad behavior. Especially mentally immature girls and the stupid ones would go for such men. Trouble excites them.
Researchers of the University of Michigan conducted a study on 600 participants with their parents and children, over the span of 22 years. They found a distinct correlation between aggressive behavior and a lower IQ-score.
Women risk aggression from their partners as part of a strategy to counteract the threat of violence from other men.
Men who are masculine (with a decent upbringing) and intelligent are the most desired by any kind of woman. This is factual. These kind of 'bad' guys have a strong desire for success, use mainly their rationality and everything I mentioned up. The intelligence makes a lot of difference. They're more likely to value monogamy and marriage, because what is theirs, stays theirs.
Aspara found that men were more likely to be married (and to still be married four years later) if they were higher in intelligence, confirming the results of earlier studies.
“More intelligent men are more likely to value monogamy and sexual exclusivity than less intelligent men,” the study concludes.
What about the real nice guys
The average male has a combination of both masculine as feminine traits, with his masculine traits standing out of course. I’m pretty sure many of you have seen men who shout that they can’t express their emotions, that they are sensitive too, that they’re like women, etc. These kind of guys have feminine traits, and it’s definitely not uncommon. Considering how the average T levels decreased in this era, it really isn’t surprising.
A masculine guy doesn’t understand this, because to him, he doesn’t feel like he can’t express his emotions, he just doesn’t feel emotions that fast unless it’s serious.
Women on the other hand feel emotions really fast, which isn’t crazy considering their brain structure because they run on an entirely different hormone: estrogen, and their cycles.
The average guy has traits of the typical nice guy. They have both in common: a stronger feminine influence than the masculine guy has. Not only can they understand a woman faster, they also experience nearly the same emotions faster. What is the problem with that? It’s a good thing they can understand the emotions of a woman better than a masculine guy!
That’s exactly the point, because they understand it so much better, certain aspects of their minds are leaning on the feminine side (which is due to hormones), this means that they experience emotions closer to the average woman. This could be problematic, because women find it generally a turn off, since the need of feeling secure is nearly impossible with such men.
A masculine guy may not directly understand the emotions of a woman but he is at least not experiencing the same emotions so fast. This is a huge benefit. Women in general are drawn to this because it makes them feel secure. This kind of guy is most likely rational during an argument and unaffected by a woman’s emotions. The chance that the argument will end up in a serious fight is small, not only is he more likely to be rational, he also takes the control and if there is anything that makes a woman seriously weak, it is when a man knows what he is doing (dominant nature).
I’ve seen it way too often, the average male is prone to be affected by the emotions of his woman and reacts to it which makes it only worse. One can't throw fire on fire to ease the situation.
‘Bad’ guys aka Masculine guys will be always desired.
Of course there will be women who will disagree with me, which is fine, because as I earlier mentioned this has all to do with hormones which influences the brain and the rest of you. Averagely speaking this is just the way it is, they’re the most desired and always will be because it makes perfect sense. Just like how averagely speaking men will always prefer a feminine woman. The fertility plays a huge role, so does the healthier genes and the fact that they’re better to get along with the opposite gender.
Guys who aren't blessed with high T can always raise their levels naturally. Sadly, I don't have space left to continue writing (there is still so much to say about the average guy tho), so I end it here.
I hope I don't see any more takes (based on nonsense and opinions) about this subject. 🤓