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I was on my way to this crazy party where my crush was gonna be at.
There's going to be music and alcohol, oh man I'm gonna get laid 100%.
I look fly as one can be, carry myself with a swagger, like a jay z.
So I was crip-walking to this party in the nicest clothes ever. You'd mistake me for Chris Brown. I was just tryna impress some thots you see.

Anyways, I was walking along this lake when I heard a SPLASH!
"OMG a child just fell into the pool somebody saved him!" - I yelled... at the wind because there's no one there except me.

Naturally, I make the most logical and obvious decision at the time and continued walking to the party like nothing happen. The screaming became more silent with each step.

I mean... I just got these fine clothes and bae was waiting for me. It's sad no one was there to save the child.
Later I told everyone at the party my story but they said I was cold, heartless and psychopathic.
I responded with "I've had enough! prepare to die you rats!".
In 20 minutes I systematically dissect their premises like a frog, I call out fallacies like I was Cicero, ask probing questions like Sacrotes, and I presented my logical argument like Rene Descartes. Some cried in the middle of their logical fallacies and gave up. Most did not reach a conclusion.

Needless to say, my crush and all the girls, were lining up got sex.
They were like " oh you so philosophical I wanna have logical babies with you"
later the night, as I left the party with 4 hoes, 2 on each arm, some sore loser yelled out "sophist!" at me. but I was like "don't ad hominem me, bro, I'm a philosopher and I'm hood, debate me at the forum bro"
He puss out obviously and the girls were even more impressed.

You disagree , bro?, Think you figure out my logic, bro? Wanna brodown debate bro?

#Hoodphilosophy
#Thoughtexperiment