I Don’t Want a Baby and I Mean it!

Every time when I say that I don’t want children on my own I get to hear “You will change your mind!” “Don’t worry you will have children one day” “You are still young, this will change” “Once you find the right guy, you will have babies” and more.

I don’t want children on my own, I maybe, possibly would be down to adopt a kid, one who is already old enough but practically just needs a home with a loving family.

But I have absolutely no desire for my own child, let’s go through my reasons shall we:

I Don’t Want a Baby and I Mean it!

Nr.1 I might have a fertility issues, I’m not sure, but like I have this health issue* that does make getting pregnant difficult, you can still talk with your doctor and like it depends on each person. But I didn’t even made the effort to ask my doctor, because I started thinking and that was the time I figured out that I’m fine with not becoming a mom one day.

*I have problems with my thyroid and it does influence the fertility and depending on how this affects your body and how you treat that and everything, it can cause miscarriage. It can, don’t have to, again here just talk with your doctor and I’m sure they will help

Nr.2 I don’t even like babies that much. I was never the person to be like “Aww how cute”… hands down puppies are cute but not babies. Also I know I used to be a child too, but children are annoying and little stupid sometimes, like yeah I mean they are still children, it’s normal but sorry I can’t get warm with that.
I like my sister tho

Nr.3 I was never excited about the thought of pressing a human being out of my vagina! You know all the shit that happens during birth? Like literally shit. Also if you’re lucky your vagina will rip apart… Google it, that really happens.
Don’t forget about hours of labor pain… yeah no so not doing this.
Even if you have a caesarean delivery, you will have weeks of pain afterwards.
Respect to everyone who did go through this tho thank you all.

I Don’t Want a Baby and I Mean it!

Nr.4 Kids are fucking expensive and you can't just go out and do what you want whenever you want.

Nr.5 I kind of already went through the phase of raising a child and I’m so not going through this again.
My mom had a baby when I was 16, the father of my sister wasn’t living with us and my mom was working a lot, so someone had to take care of the baby and it was me. I could say a lot about the fun, but we’re going to keep this short:
Everyone tells you that a child is a blessing and will bring you joy and happiness...the truth that shit isn’t easy, sure I love my baby sister to the moon and back … but oh boy I’m so not going to go through years of no sleep, looking and feeling like shit, stress, dippers, food all over and 24/7 of looking after someone who needs you, while cooking and keeping the house and clothes clean.
And trying to keep my private life, with work, school and friends. Hell no.

Nr.6 My friends can’t wait to become a mom one day. They already have names and two honestly already own the house were they want to raise their kids. They are so excited when they talk about this and I’m not.

I Don’t Want a Baby and I Mean it!

Nr.7 The world is a mostly fucked up place and I don’t think that it needs another innocent baby in it. We are facing some big problems, like climate change, inequality, religious and political conflicts, poverty, decrease of resources and wars.

To add children are cruel and mean to each other, I don’t want my baby to have struggles. Also most people have mental problems, like depression and anxiety and it’s also got harder to get a job, if it’s already not that easy for us, how is it going to be in a few years, it’s scary.

Nr.8 I love my freedom and I definitely don’t want to feel like being chained to someone.
You do a lot of sacrifices as a parent and I’m not down to do some of these sacrifices. I do wish for a partner on my side. A teammate, but I don’t feel a desire to have kids on my own.

So that’s it for now I can’t think of other reasons. Feel free to comment your own opinion and your reasons for wanting a baby or not wanting one.

*Update for everyone being salty in the comments:

1. Just because I don't like kids that much, doesn't mean I hate on them.

2. Me and others who might not want kids, are still human beings. Just because we decided this way, does not make us less of a human being.

3. This Take was to show you all that there are people who don't wish for a child, to show you a different perspective, but this update is definetly a justification.
And please do me a favor and read your comments again, you can totally disagree with me but please be an adult with it.


Most Helpful Guys

  • Hey, not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Not every woman is meant to be a mother I don't feel. It's possible but not necessarily ideal for all women. You have care and it sounds like you have love to give, just not for a baby is all. It takes a lot of work and commitment to raise a child. A lot of psychology and tense moments and it's almost unforgiving work and really you don't get really anything in return for such a sacrifice of your time and energy and stress and pain and worry. Really you don't know how much of YOU you sacrifice so that this little person has everything they need to survive and thrive in this world. So it's best, if you really aren't prepared or not in the right frame of mind for that 19+ years of commitment to not bother. No one really should look down on anyone for being understanding of themselves enough to know that they don't want to be a parent, or not able to be a parent. I believe if we didn't chastise so many for this decision or pressure people into child rearing, a lot of our issues we have today with child abuse or neglect or what have you, as well as worldly problems would be managed or solved properly.

    Puppies are still a loving commitment as well and oh so cute!

  • You are liberal so you shouldn't have kids. I support that decision. Now on the other hand I am quite conservative. I wouldn't even date a woman who doesn't at least want 4. End of story. Absolute deal breaker. I'd screw you in a club bathroom though if I was really drunk. Without making kids, the only purpose to life is pleasure and doing what you want, so that is the most value I can get from our interaction. I however want to do something greater than myself and raise children.


Most Helpful Girls

  • All of this is true but despite that I still would want to have a kid with someone I actually love and when the time is right. I would probably have health problems once pregnant and when giving birth because of my bones lol but when a woman really wants a baby, she'll go through all of it. If not, then it's fine. It's her life.

    People should try to understand that everyone is different and that not every woman wants to have a big family, lots of children and be a house-wife.

    • The housewife is the best role for woman 🙂

    • Show All
    • Yes your right, but in my case, thank god i'm capable...

    • Thank you for the MHO! :)

  • No babies for me either.

    I won't go so far as to say I will never change my mind, because the future is impossible to know. But I will say I can't imagine the circumstances that would make me change my mind. And it is presumptuous of anyone else to tell me that I WILL change it (and by doing so imply that there's something wrong with my current decision/mindset/outlook). It comes under the heading of "When I want their opinion, I'll beat it out of them."

    • It's okay for one to change their mind, some I bet used to want to have family and children but then change their minds on it completely, because that happens too. Also, if the world completely collapsed and crumbled into a great cataclysm or great catastrophe, then I bet more would change their minds altogether about adding new people into such a horrible place to live in all to just suffer and die. The whole world then would only be one big and ugly graveyard if things got really fucking out of hand and really fucking bad enough, but only time will tell. It's not set in stone.

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What Guys Said 56

  • I'm gonna be 100 percent honest and it's gonna hurt a lot of feelings here politically I'm a conservative but you should choose to have children. The term accident shouldn't exist there are many preventive measures out there and there is no excuse to have a child and say you didn't mean to. Point being some people should have kids before they're too old but other's shouldn't have kids because they're too young. There is a time limited choice to make that decision if you want them or not because once it gets too late the baby maker just doesn't work anymore. That being said I'll share some information that my father once told me "Smart people play when and where they'll have a child stupid people call them accidents and blame life for why they can't raise them right". I'll also share some wisdom of one of the wisest men on this planet Bill Burr once said "If you have 3 useless not gonna invent shit kids stop having them its clear you don't have the gene pool to make someone special and all you're doing is making 1 not gonna invent or cure shit kid after the other and are only hogging up resources the world needs". Take what you will with that knowledge and make your choice accordingly.

  • Well, don't if you don't want to. Indeed, based on your points, I am not even sure why you would want to adopt. Adopted children are expensive, too. At any rate, given your views, it definitely would not be a good idea for you to have children.

    For my part, my girlfriend and I already have three - two boys (8 and 7) and a girl (5). They are the lights of our lives and I cannot imagine life without them.

    Our oldest is a little firecracker. His preferred method is to walk through obstacles rather than around them. I am pretty sure he was the first second grader in history to attempt to join the Delta Force. He is also as protective of his little brother and sister as a mother hen. He never fails to make me smile - even when he exasperates me.

    Ironically, his little brother is his brother's temperamental opposite. He is our little cuddler. He is very sensitive and when I get home and the other two are running around the house, he is the one who will run up to me, greet me like a returning hero, climb into my lap, look at me very earnestly, and ask, "Did you have a good day today, daddy? I was very busy today..." "Were you?," I reply.

    As to their sister, I have her right where she wants me. She is my little princess, but I am as stern with her as I am with the boys. Not. A typical conversation: Daughter/princess: "Daddy, I want a pony." Me: "You want a pony? What kind of pony do you want? Do you want to get it tomorrow? How about two ponies? We can keep in the backyard. The neighbors won't mind." At which point girlfriend rolls her eyes - she has to do that a lot with me - and says, "You're not getting her a pony."

    We have that conversation at least twice a week. I'm checking for the the best ponies that can be kept at home. The neighbors in our suburban neighborhood won't mind.

    They make me laugh, they make me worry - and oh, if my girlfriend told me tomorrow that she was pregnant, you would not be able to wipe the smile off my face. If the world is a bad place, they make it better.

    As Alistair Cooke said, "In the best of times, our days are numbered anyway. So it would be a crime against nature for any generation to take the world crisis so solemnly that it put off enjoying those things for which we were designed in the first place: the opportunity to do good work, to enjoy friends, to fall in love, to hit a ball, or to bounce a baby on our knee.”

  • If you don't want children, big whoop. You're probably getting those types of questions from older people who are from an entirely different generation and cultural belief.

    The family unit is what gives meaning to people's lives. Having their own family, and caring for them, gives meaning to life beyond material things.

    However, modern society has replaced the family unit with internet, social media, and easy access to pornography. This has eroded the value of "family" to the current generation, and they would rather play video games, surf the internet, watch porn, and Netflix instead of settling down with a family.

    The problem is... will video games, internet, social media ultimately make you a complete human being? When you're 60 years old, will those things still give you meaning in life? Probably not...
    Many young people already figured this out, but they are so addicted to the information age, that there is no hope for them... and this is why the suicide rate among young adults is rising... because they have created nothing of true meaning in their life.

    That does not mean for you to go have babies. But it does mean for you to seek something that is worth living for.

  • My advice is to just stop arguing with people about this. There's no point. The only people you need to discuss this with are your potential partners. Don't wait too long before getting this on the table. You don't want to be six months into a relationship before finding that your guy really wants children and assumed you did too.

  • I highly recommend that you get your tubes tied because no kid could or should be raised by a mother that hates it and doesn't want it. So the answer is simple and less effort to decide than writing this take. This will solve all the problems that you cite.

  • @melanieeeeB www.azquotes.com/.../...david-benatar-47-47-30.jpg


    HUGE round of applause for you!

    Especially in regards to recognizing the harshness and bad things that come with this world and reality:

    "Nr.7 The world is a mostly fucked up place and I don’t think that it needs another innocent baby in it. We are facing some big problems, like climate change, inequality, religious and political conflicts, poverty, decrease of resources and wars.

    To add children are cruel and mean to each other, I don’t want my baby to have struggles. Also most people have mental problems, like depression and anxiety and it’s also got harder to get a job, if it’s already not that easy for us, how is it going to be in a few years, it’s scary."

    See, to me creating new life is the same as playing russian roulette with that new person's well-being, future and existence. Oh, it might turn out to all be just fine and nothing bad would happen, BUT IT'S SIMPLY NEVER ANY GUARANTEES!

    I don't want to be liable for someone else new into this world to endure through hardship, suffering, pain and then also have to die some day, when clearly, THEY HAVE NO NEED TO EVER BECOME PART OF AND INVOLVED INTO THIS KIND OF A WORLD, PLACE, EXISTENCE OR REALITY ITSELF.

    It's completely a fucking gamble.

    I just think that somebody might as well be, or absolutely is completely OK and fine with the next person being able to suffer pain, hardships, etc. and OK for them to die eventually if one insists on bringing somebody new into this world. Because we simply can't have any of the good WITHOUT any and all of the bad.

  • THANK YOU for this and ESPECIALLY number seven!!! THAT is a HUGE argument I have! Personally, it's one reason I am hesitant to have sex. Yup, I said it. No condom fully eliminates risks. Neither do pills. Neither can ever be 100% baby proof. They say this on the label very clearly. The ONLY way I''d have sex is if I know FOR SURE that the one I do so with 100% will get IMMEDIATE abortion should anything happen. May even make them signature an agreement or something. My mom had passed away from cancer years ago, but I got a note from her telling me to NEVER forget to wear a condom and that she NEVER wanted me to EVER get a girl pregnant before they were ready. It makes me speculate what happened to her or people she was around to make this what seemed to be a dying wish. It had to be a warning from something. Maybe she wasn't ready for three children and neither was dad. Maybe she didn't want kids at all. Or maybe it's nothing to do with us, but her family or close friends. Either way, that dying wish made my mind very stubborn on this issue. And like you said in number 7, WAY too many issues to greedily want your own offspring so badly. If people REALLY did sex to specifically to have children, they'd adopt more often. What if sex gave no feeling at all? I'm pretty sure this "you gotta have kids" BS would be gone in seconds. If people are so desperate for sexual feelings, they should just do it with themselves and be done with it. We need to stop bringing society down for the sake of sex. We're humans, not animals. Or at least I am, I sometimes question if some humans actually were meant in human skin or in roach. So desperate to multiply right? Kinda makes sense doesn't it? Anyways, this is just something I feel strongly about. There definitely is in fact way too much trouble in the world as it is. SO many people. Yet resources are spread impossibly thin. And for what? I find it so ironic that those supposedly hating welfare, gov't handouts, etc. have this HUGE fear of abortion and proper sex ed. REALLY? WHY do you think people need gov't handouts in the first place? Not enough JOBS cause too many people are too stupid/uneducated about sex FUCKED and now those kids that COULD have been aborted now need food and shelter that we ALL are paying for!! And this is in SOME countries. In OTHER ones, those kids have NO welfare, NO food, NO shelter and STARVE to death. What's the point in a kid living if he/she will die quick and painfully?

  • I salute you! That was a marvelous article and I can't agree over 100% already.

    Yup! With number 2 I really agree a lot on this. I never liked babies or children. Most experiences for me was their annoyance or crying loud in the supermarkets and airplanes. I don't want to endure this a decade long.

    I highly agree with number 4. Money talks and I don't have much for myself now and I doubt I will make enough money in my lifetime to buy myself my own home in America (and I don't have a home. I have however a shelter, that we call renting apartments). And I don't want to remain a drone for the remainder of my life. I rather fetch something for myself too rather than having 2 or more persons not fetching anything at all.

    This is capitalism! I learned it the very hard way growing up myself as early as 10 years old. 10 YEARS!!!

    I especially agree with number 7. In this state in our world with current world problems bringing kids here is a terrible idea. I've been one myself and learned these things myself. Like why am I even here when this world is an uncontrollable mess? Eventually I found out - 2 humans were too horny to keep it in their pants.

    The worst thing is, that the humans in charge of things don't make changes for the better. In fact in many countries it's the opposite. Not reproducing is not only preventing such sufferings but also fighting the rigged system, that is not giving a s**t about us.

    Number 8 is also 100% true! There are no more words to be said about it. F R E E D O M ♥ ♥ ♥ This is how it's supposed to be after all.


    About the haters. The block function was invented for a reason. Block all these anon idiots and forget they exist ;) Problem solved.

  • "Every time when I say that I don’t want children on my own I get to hear “You will change your mind!” “Don’t worry you will have children one day” “You are still young, this will change” “Once you find the right guy, you will have babies” and more."

    In fairness A LOT can happen between 24 and 34, just saying. That said, some of us don't have them, and it clearly is NOT for everyone.

  • I dont understand why you made this post. If you dont want kids, dont have kids. But dont expect society or men to think its "normal". Having children is the most natural thing in the world, of course its going to be weird for other people.

    Honestly if you seriously didn't care about other peoples opinions, you wouldn't have made this thread to justify your mindset.

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What Girls Said 32

  • Women having babies is a enforced gender role. I agree with you, babies are the last thing on my list along with marriage. I have my life ahead of me still and I want to live it and achieve things. Yes, I want marriage one day but I'm not just going to marry anyone to get it. Or stopping my life to get married. I'll work, save money, contribute to society and along the way find someone. If I do find someone and if we are right for each other down the line we can get married and have kids. I do agree having kids really wrecks your body. 9 months growing it and child labor can last up to 12 hours. Episiotomy is when the doctor cuts you from your vagina to your anus to make more room for the baby to come out. I believe they staple you closed or stitch you. If you have it naturally. C sections are for the baby who are coming out backwards, legs out first and the umbilical cord can wrap around the babies neck. Depriving it of oxygen for more than a minute will instantly kill all of its brain cells leaving it brain dead. Its awful giving birth but people find it rewarding. Plus you continue your bloodline.

    I once heard someone say this and it really stuck to me. Made me feel bad for the kid. The person said, "If you don't want kids then don't have them. They should have a loving mother who will do anything and everything for them. Love them unconditionally. Not a mother who didn't want them. You'll be a bad mother to that poor kid who doesn't deserve to be born into this world already hated by the only person who should love them. So please, don't have kids."

    When this person said that I thought it's true and it's sad.

  • Hey there, love this take, before i go off in a personal rave, may i ask the question, would you say you are not maternal? in the sense of how you see so many females around you have such different drives? if that makes sense... xx

    • Honestly I'm maternal, you know there is always a "mom" in a girls friends group? That's me also my number 5, there was definitely reasons why I did it

    • But like my friends can't wait to be mothers one day, already have names and all that and when you ask me I don't see a baby in the next 10 years

  • Do what you want, that's my advice. Don't feel pressured into having a child, some people will be delighted at the thought of having a baby. It's a big decision, and certainly not one that should take lightly. So much time and energy goes into carrying, having, and raising a child. Live your life by your terms, and make sacrifices that you're comfortable with!

  • I'll personally never understand what goes in your mind when you say you don't want kids... I never will. by the way believe it or not people do see it in a weird manner when I say that I want to become a mother someday. I have no idea why it is like that but it is what it is. People think it is about breeding but nope it's about parenting.

    And some went as far as telling me that I have no idea what it feels like to have a baby. When my sister was pregnant I used to sleep with her. I became an aunt at the age of 12 and she pooped in front of my birthday cake on my 13th birthday, talk about a shitty beginning to teenage! And since you raised a kid too you know the usual stuff we had to go through... And despite all these I wish to have kids of my own. Even if not biological then adopted at infancy.

    No one is bound to have kids though, and not having kids makes no woman less worthy or valuable as a human being.

    And not to forget, when we will get older we will also become as annoying to the people as kids are!

  • Yes! I agree so much, I have NEVER wanted children at all >.< It's annoying too that if a guy says he never wants kids in the future, no one seems to care, but if a female says that everyone thinks you'll just change your mind about it.

    • Haters are always gonna be haters and won't accept any perspectives that are different than theirs.

  • Don't you just wish others will simply honor the choices you make and respect you for your preferences? You know what you want and don't want. Don't let others upset you. Be happy about yourself already knowing your choices and standing by them.

  • nice take! no joke my closest friend thinks the same as you do about having kids. I wouldn't mind being a mom someday, I actually like the thought of having a little girl or boy to love and care for. But every individual is entitled to their own decision about becoming a parent so you have the right to stick by yours.

  • I’m torn. I like babies and would like one.
    But I also think mothers lives are incredibly sad. I want a baby but don’t want to be a mother, so I’ll stick with my parrots lol

    • You've adopted parrots LOL

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    • @JudgmentDay nah, they’ll never hurt you, betray you

    • @Drinkingcoffee Imagine raising a person and they turned out to be some horrible monster, either some criminal thug, murderer or rapist, and look at those that raised a person and turned out to be a mass shooter, it's like how the hell does one live with that kind of an outcome? I guess they were all just too optimistic and not realistic about all of the risks and consequences and possibles outcomes. Completely blind and ignorant to the reality and the fact of how little control to no control that one has over whomever once created and brought into existence.

  • I am totally with you girl! I don't want to have children either... I get annoyed when I hear them crying. And they are very expensive... Also your freedom is a big part of it... Not being able to do what you want when you want, or not having the money because you need the money for your baby. I think I'd rather adopt too... I mean hey, not everyone has to have children... If you don't want them then that's your choice! :)

  • Great take Ms Melanie.
    That's each persons choice to make, of course.
    I do think you may have a soft spot in your heart though for a baby because if you don't even like them (#2) then why would you be concerned about them being in, what you consider, a bad world (#7)
    Still a great take though, but I hope you don't, and don't think you do, hate babies.
    Maybe when your good friend has one you will love it at some point :)

    • Thank you :) Well I never said that I hate them, but I don't like them that much

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