This question was inspired by @Brittanyroseee and h she made a question on the whole subject so I wanted to add my opinions on some of the reasons why some women are childless. This wouldn't be like my other Mytakes but bare with me. 🐻
She did mention the many articles written on why you shouldn't have children, which I think is a good point alone if you don't actually read the articles. This isn't a critique aimed directly at her or anything, just on some of the reasons I see repeatedly.
Hopefully, if you disagree with my points, you comment below and let me know why.
Here's the reasons:
- Children require patience
Yes, they do require patience and can be loud, annoying brats. I think virtually everyone has had a negative experience with a crying child (especially when they grow up to be Karens, those never stop being babies). It takes a lot of development for parents to care for children, even more when it comes to learning how to actually deal with the annoying behaviors. There are many children who also behave.
No body said parenting is going to be as easy as playing Minecraft and watching p0rnhub, but there's a reason why people admire those who put the effort to succeed instead. Regardless of what you're focusing in life, there will be obstacles to overcome, but there are also rewards to overcoming them.
- Children are a financial burden and not everyone can afford them
"Based on the most recent data from the Consumer Expenditures Survey, in 2015, a family will spend approximately $12,980 annually per child "
" From the day your baby is born until the day they turn 18, your family will spend about $310,605 — or about $17,000 a year"
I think everyone has heard this story before, that raising a child (yes, a single one) will cost you an arm and a leg. I find this reason to be silly for many reasons. Many large families, especially if you look up family YouTube channels or any family that's decently well off, have multiple children since that's cheaper: you reuse old clothing and equipment with each new child. You also get to learn about meal planning and nutrition with your children.
Also, That is if you're trying to save money. If you're actively trying to save money, you are likely to be spending less than 17,000 annually on each kid (you probably make more than 17,000 too or will be by the time you're having children). Many of the families in poorer situations, often left destitute, still have children. You can't?
- Having children contributes to global warming
I think saying to have less children will help with global warming is putting a band aid over a bullet wound. It's not going to help anyone. This reason is just assuming that the child will be a useless blob their whole life and won't do anything. The newer generations are already more concerned with global warming, many of them are even activists or trying to find new ways to solve the climate problem. Imagine if you wiped out everyone under the age of 30 or 40, how likely do you think it is for older generations (in general) to change or even care to change?
I'm not advocating forcing children to become activists but if you have children, you can proactively teach them to treat the planet better, indirectly making a chance yourself.
- There are too many people on the planet (Overpopulation)
Having dealt with this question before, I won't rant on this too much. Most countries will face a depopulation crisis by the end of the century. That includes many of the countries with above replacement level fertility (2.1+ children per couple).
Many countries in Europe will lose nearly a 1/5th of their total population by 2050. Countries like Japan and Cuba will lose nearly half of their population by 2100 as well. It is also likely that the total world population will stop increasing by then.
- a family means neglecting your personal needs and wants (Less time for enjoying life)
- and lastly, babies are gross and they disgust me.
Honestly, I think children are what you make them. Like many things in life, you can let children dictate your whole life OR you don't and still have fun, even with a baby. I've witness both cases, the latter more frequently though. Planning is very important, and you are likely already planning if you're in a relationship anyways. I also understand there is many nasty things about children, just like there's many beautiful things about babies. You can decide if you want to deal with diapers and burping babies occasionally. You, yourself come from an unbroken chain of couples who decided "Yes, I will deal with it" however messy it may be.
Here's some reasons I agree with:
- The lack of a motherly or fatherly instinct
- My genetics are not good enough to pass down (or I can't have children)
This is the only two reasons that I hear often and I think these two are fine. Although I'm in favor of people having families, I'm in favor them having families IF they want to. People deserve to have control over their lives and children deserve to live a healthy life with loving family. The choice is yours. If you have no desire to be a parent or you think you would be a bad one, that is fine. If you don't want children to have your genetics or can't, that's fine too.
I just wanted to list my opinions on each reason since I hear them very often. I'm not sure if I'll do a mytake on the opposite reasons (why people decide to have children) but I'm fine either way.