Why are women bashed for not wanting kids?

Question

We need to stop vilifying women who choose to be child free. Not everyone wants the responsibility of a child. Not everyone likes kids either.

Sarahr123 · Accepted Answer

I love babies but definitely am not ready for the responsibility (yet) … maybe in my late twenties or early thirties I might consider having one but I don’t think I’ll go for more than a couple if I ever do decide to have them. I definitely find it extremely irritating when children cry and throw tantrums - especially if the child is over three because some can be such brats and don’t listen and then it is embarrassing!

I also have this habit of favouring children who I see myself in and children who are brighter than others and with little boys it’s the cheeky ones who get all the attention so I don’t want to ge guilty of partiality with my own children.

If I had a child I would be the type to smother them and become overly protective like I would not even send them to school - I’d rather homeschool so I can keep them safe 24/7 even from some other kid’s teasing and rude comments that could “traumatise” my poor child. I do the same with my younger siblings! I’m very paranoid.

So yeah I’ll probably have kids later in life if I ever decide to have them. For now I enjoy sleeping and waking as I please and not having to worry about arranging childcare or buying nappies and baby food.

Women who don’t want to have children are far better than all the women who have a dozen and can’t raise them properly and those kids grow up to be mentally disturbed or get involved in all sorts of criminal activity due to early childhood neglect and abuse which impacts later on in life.

I think more women need to decide not to have children. Motherhood isn’t for everyone and realising that is a very wise thing instead of going ahead with ehat everyone else is doing. It’s a huge responsibility that not everyone is cut out for so kudos to those who realise they wouldn’t be the perfect mother and opt against it - it’s definitely a noble thing to do. Better than creating a life and then ruining a life.

Think about the pains of labour and childbirth - I always thought women are crazy to put themselves through it, that too again and again! You save yourself 24+ hours of labour pains, risk of needing c-section and a lifetime of backpain, episiotomies, risk of placenta being trapped and potentially dying during the process. It’s extremely hard on your body during the nine months and after giving birth. It will literally change you physically forever so you save yourself the agony if you opt against it and you also save the world population from increasing. We need less people procreating and if they do they need to have less babies so less people take flights, use cars and reduce our carbon emissions.

MsShy87 · Accepted Answer

I'm not sure why some women do that. I wouldn't bash any woman for choosing not to have kids. Kids are hard work. They're exhausting, needy, expensive, and you'll constantly be on your toes, 24/7. I'm a single mom of 3, I know. Don't have kids if you don't want them. Nothing wrong with that.

FireGodGoesSeeknFire · Accepted Answer

Its an offshoot of the Mommy-wars where working mothers wanted to fight for more expansive leave, robust public childcare options and other types of government mandated support.

Stay-at-home Moms -- having less money but more time -- were more concerned with lower taxes and eliminating business regulations that raised prices.

As the percentage of working women grows that tension is shifting to working mom's versus working non-mom's with the former seeing the non-moms as lacking solidarity for traditional working women's issues.

This is further compounded by reaction from the remaining stay-at-home Moms who see any kind of public support their way of life -- like vouchers or tax credits for homeschooling -- continually eroding.

Then all of those genuine issues get pipped through our hyper-partisan media landscape resulting in people with different but understable views increaingky seeing the other as stupid, corrupt or simply evil.

These are dark times.

HippieVeganJewslim · Accepted Answer

The people who bash such women should learn that not everyone has the same opinions as they. If such women don’t want such responsibilities, there’s a good reason. As an antinatalist, I know that it’s always better to adopt, as too many foster kids are waiting for foster parents.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Women love talking constant shit on other women, is the main reason. But there's also a pretty strong tendency for women to change their tune about kids in their late twenties. The girl I'm seeing now went from super anti-kid in her mid twenties, to baby crazy in her late twenties.

RealMarek · Answer

There are multiple reasons. Most people my age have seen many women who thought they did not want children but came to regret it in their late 30s and 40s. Whether it is their business or not, some of them try to warn younger women of this probability. Another reason is that some women who do not want children give reasons that can be interpreted as selfish, and this naturally meets with social disapproval.

I believe there is another, deeper, perhaps subconscious reason. Great cultures imagine themselves to be eternal once they achieve a certain level of power, but in fact cultures are born, mature, decline, and either collapse or become stagnant. One of the first symptoms of decline is childbirth becoming an option instead of an assumption, coupled with the rise of a form of feminism. When this happens, as it did in the West during the early 1900s, there is no reversing of the culture’s decline. However, there are always people who consciously or subconsciously recognize this threat to their culture and seek to reverse it. One way this is expressed is in the form of people criticizing women for not having kids.

cheeky_starfish · Answer

As someone who doesn’t have and has never wanted kids - and who for the most part doesn’t like kids and feels uncomfortable around kids, especially babies and toddlers - I couldn’t agree more with you! Having kids is a personal choice, and I think it’s really ignorant and selfish to put down and demonise anyone who chooses for themselves not to have kids. I don’t necessarily want marriage either - I feel that a couple can love and be just as committed and loyal to one another without the need for marriage. I could be happy in a fully committed relationship without marriage or kids, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! 🙂

emily2009 · Answer

I'm not ever planning to have kids. Everyone I know with kids is always saying how they have no money and can't go anywhere, and people I know without kids have plenty of money and can do whatever they want.

I told my mum this and she says she wants to be a grandma before she's 50, I told her she better start making me a sibling and raising them wrong then.

menina · Answer

My mother and my sisters believe that all women should have kids. I wish they were like you.

I absolutely agree with what you said. Besides people should be free to make their own choices.

I guess it's because some people still think that women are only good to have babies. That we can't do anything else. It's really sad and a stupid way of thinking.

inhua · Answer

it's not really vilification, more so a warning. this warning would go towards men too except men can't have kids, only women can which is why you may see this as unfair.

fact is, men can become first time fathers anytime they choose prior to their death bed

women on the other hand do not have this luxury due to rapidly declining fertility.

sure you may not want kids now but who's to say you won't want them in 20 or 30 years from now when you're still childless and no longer fertile?

the human lifespan today is a really long time and you could live to be 100 years old. as people get older, friends become more and more distant and family becomes closer for the elderly especially descendants.

RiseofArtemis · Answer

And yet a lot of women bash men to not wanting to marry. Society can only function when both do the stuff they need to do, even if they don't like it. What would you do if there was no home for the elderly, you'd be alone with no one to care for you. Children are nature's way of giving you someone who cares for you when you can't anymore, which means women who don't have children are actually a mistake in natures eyes and should not exist.

Its simple as that. Nature doesn't care about what you think it wants you to do what it wants. Women should have children and men should protect women and children. A society that is against children and for childlessness is going to collapse.

Paulalove98 · Answer

I feel like the people who do tend to bash are a lot of old fashioned people who think traditionally and feel like it’s a must to carry on their blood and legacy of their family/culture. Although I do wanna be a mom someday like in my late 20s or at 30-31, I’m not ready yet financially which is a huge factor before having children and of course nobody is ever 100% prepared but I’d rather at least know I’m settled in both my two new jobs and in a happy, committed relationship. I think if anything bashing is happening but there’s a lot of societal pressure that people should/must be married and have children by 25 or their looking at you like “why?” “What?”😮sort of face and it gets annoying sometimes on my end since I work in customer service and tell people I was 23, now 24 and no kids yet still single like sheesh I’m not 30 yet but yeah it’s in individually someone’s choice at the end of the day. Some people aren’t cut out to be parents while some enjoy and adore children.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't care if you want to be old and single with cats. When you die, no one will care. One hundred years later, everyone will forget about its your existence, and you won't have any family that remembers you. That's your choice. you're not right or wrong for making that choice. It's up to you.

If you want to party, drink, sleep around, and smoke weed, that is your choice. Don't worry about what I think or do. Don't worry if I disagree with you or not. Don't worry about anything I have to say.

I am not you. I can't care more about you than you. So dont worry about opinion. You just do you. Live the feminist dream and have if it really is fun for you. I have my pride and joy, my kids.

art84 · Answer

I don't like kids to be honest. Just noisy and annoying and huge responsibility. Though I do have two nephews and get along with both who are teenagers. I have two nieces and they prefer their other aunts and uncles as they spend more time with them. They don't want anything to do with me and seem antisocial.

alance99 · Answer

People who give negative comments for a woman not having marriage or kids are still living in medieval period and want to control a woman's thoughts , choice, her dressing style so that she doesn't have a individual identity which is completely hypocrite

Anonymous · Answer

Because why be old miserable, and alone as a woman?

I am saying you need to; I am just pointing at you and saying to my daughter, you don't to be like that old lady. So my daughter will be happy with a husband.

I am just using you as an example of why the Pursuit of hedonism just leads to misery. And it in this life, you must feel pain learn, and grow to be satisfied. If you want to do that, that's fine with me.

I will point and laugh at the crazy single old lady dressing up like a slut because I want better for my daughter.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Perhaps seen as selfish from other people's perspective.

Nevertheless, I firmly believe if someone doesn't desire kids then don't become a parent lest those children are seen as a burden and get trash parents which will only hurt the kids.

CateM · Answer

It shouldn't be this way. I don't want or even like kids either (with some exceptions), and people who believe all women should have kids don't seem to realize some women are terrible parents, and they're just as capable as men of being abusive or neglectful. We see it all too often. Having kids is a choice, not an obligation.

Andres77 · Answer

My daughters don’t want kids. The world is fucked and it’s not getting any better. They’d rather help with other kids than have their own. As a dad that will never be a grandpa, I support their decision. Right now I wouldn’t recommend anyone having kids.

Berethor · Answer

Because it very unfeminine, also this feminist behavior is dooming countries.

Noahzaid · Answer

Because they are the ones with the uterus! Have you heard about it? That flipped triangle that has fallopian tubes that carry an egg that monthly bleed sand causes you to suffer.

Anonymous · Answer

They should get the Nobel Prize for not wanting kids. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet, most of them just taking up space and not contributing anything. We don't need each person more than doubling their number just because they feel like it. With birth control, this generation should have way fewer kids, not more.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

It just seems unnatural, for individuals who have far more opportunity to reproduce than men to not do so. There's also the matter of our population dropping, which will have widespread repercussions, including the destruction of our civilization.

lightbulb27 · Answer

It says something is messed up in their life, distorting their lives... that's all. I don't see them being bashed though.

There's no way around the desire to reproduce, that's the point of the next 20 years.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not just women.

In countries like Uzbekistan men are also shamed for being childfree referring to such men as little boys until they pop more kids.

You'll get disapproval from these peasants for basically everything. better Get used to it and do your thing and feed on their hate.

Pegases · Answer

I don't see women being bashed for not wanting kids. There are far too many women having kids that shouldn't so I'm all for women opting out of having children. More power to you.

genericname85 · Answer

well we live in a society where we share the tasks that have to be done right? men traditionally do the hard working (cause they can't make kids) so women can make the kids. without kids, a society has no future. so naturally those who do not want to fullfill their stereotypical tasks will be looked at funny. you're free to do what you want with your life but you're not free to forbid people saying what they want about that. so if you think this is right, you should have the maturity not to give a shit about these that bash it.

Agape93 · Answer

Because we apparently only have value as sex objects and producers of offspring, as if it's our sole reason to exist and a guarantee of a happy life.  It's fucking nonsense.

A_Bell · Answer

Unless each woman averages about 2.1 children each, human population will shrink until we are extinct. it's simple mathematics and biology. I think this is why baby madness is so hardwired into us.

cryscrys1 · Answer

Sometimes you don’t know how good something is unless you give it a try
Maybe those who have kids by now know how amazing it is to give birth to kids and raise them etc
I don’t have kids but I think maybe that’s why?

OddBeMe · Answer

Usually the bashers are religious or racist, wanting more humans like them to out-populate the brown people.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I've never understood why some people vilify women who choose not to have kids. Having kids certainly is not for everyone.

Summeroflove · Answer

Because they want to control someone else no problem. If someone don’t want kids. Who cares? If you want kids you don’t have to be with them

User3191989 · Answer

Their "biological clock", excuse for BECOMING a mother, then becomes invalid. Since, lots of girls now say they don't want a kid, doesn't then prove there's no such thing as a "biological clock"

captain_voidwalker · Answer

It might just be me but I've never seen this bieng a thing. About as close as I have seen is people advising women to have children while they're young if they want them. Having children becomes more dangerous later in life and is difficult in your 30's and nearly impossible in your 40's. Not to mention the older you are to greater risks to your futur kid. But thats always be prefaced with the if you want them part.
Thats not bashing thats just sound medical advise.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My research on this site says the average woman does not want kids until she falls in love and many of them have to marry before they get baby fever. It's normal to not want kids. Most woman do not want kids until they fall in love.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

She's not a villain if she merely fails to conceive. She is, if she goes out of her way to get pregnant, just to have an abortion as some rite of passage to gloat over. That, to me, is a villain.

AsaKyo · Answer

No clue tbh  I don't really plan on having any nor can I even afford to have any at my age rn lmao.. but I don't know, that could change later in the future, just depends, I guess

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why men are bashed for not wanting women nor kids.

jshm2 · Answer

They aren't.

They are bashed for not having good enough reasons to engage and talk about kids or getting pissy to people talking about kids.

Seriously, these bitches be worse than vegans trying to talk you out of eating meat.

dustybiker · Answer

It reflects more on the person making the comments.

Anonymous · Answer

Women are not really vilified for not wanting children, but in the eyes of most men they are valued less as women, and are generally less desirable to men who want a family. Loving kids and wanting kids is a core component of what comprises femininity.

Anonymous · Answer

I see this as the male equivalent of women telling men "you need to be more expressive and share your emotions". No, we don't in most cases. When you say that you are just projecting your own personality and emotional needs onto men, who you clearly don't understand.

BJP21 · Answer

You're either wired to want a family or you're not. I simply ask and if its a NO its a NO. Its not something to mess with or compromise on. IMHO

SiberFox · Answer

You have the ability to create life, you have inherent value because you can create life. Shunning this makes you less valuable to the community. I don't make the rules.

es20490446e · Answer

The simple truth: because it's counter-nature. People are naturally inclined to like kids and to make kids. The biological purpose of an adult if to ensure their offspring.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

It's more common for men to not want kids than it is for men to want them. So I find it hard to believe that women not wanting kids is villified by anyone but religious extremists and baby crazed women.

Sour-rose · Answer

Someone needs to have the same pain as that parent... so make babies so you can suffer with parent. :D

Mtbgirl · Answer

Curious when you say bashing. Who is doing that bashing? Who’s business is it anyway? I am sure my parents would like grand kids someday but they have never said a word about it to me.

Guy13 · Answer

That's fine but don't complain about not being married... Those things usually come together as One.

PizzaPieMamaBear · Answer

Sure don’t vilify but we need to encourage women to be moms again

Dargil · Answer

I think intact, multi (2 o 3) child families are essential. They are free not to do it, but I think Government out to induce it.

Fuentes · Answer

People are smart for not rushing Kids in this economy why choose to live in poverty with children.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

It's like when men refuse to go to war and such... Society and its " expectations "...

TallAnon · Answer

To discourage it becoming the norm, since that would be the end of our species. The extent of "bashing" should be limited, but the behaviour also can't be encouraged.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because as a woman, you were put on this earth to bare and raise children.

PhenomenalQueen · Answer

Because they want to control what we do with our bodies..

joesheks · Answer

What’s the point of life? A great career? More money? A corner office? Having abortions on demand?

No, the meaning of life is creating new life — it’s the only thing that really matters. Anyone who doesn’t like or want children likely has deep seeded issues.

A woman without a maternal instinct is wholly unnatural.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

It's okay if a woman doesn't want children. It's a. Option not a rule.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

The only people who do that are women who have aged out of their ability to have kids and regret it.

Apple1996 · Answer

Both women and men are meant to have kids. It's seen as weird cuz they're litterally going against nature so probably why people hate on those that choose to be childfree.

bean2k21 · Answer

Coz you know how women is, nobody want them in the work place.

RamyRahhal · Answer

I think it's not correct women love children and this is their nature and we can't deny it, if any woman want to become free of kids, I think it's a matter of time till she realize what she missed

fonduegirl · Answer

Pronatalism is widespread Xx

Why are women bashed for not wanting kids?

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