When I was younger I was even told I couldn’t do certain stuff because “my husband wouldn’t like it” or if I did something out of place it was almost always “pray for your husband”. Why aren’t women just encouraged to go to school or do something beneficial with themselves. Not to mention, the women in my family don’t even have that good of an experience with men at all. My dads non existent, he left and never pays child support and my grandpa used to beat my grandma.
Men scare me and I know I never want to get married but when I tell my mom that it makes her angry. I’m wondering if it’s just a cultural difference cause she grew up in the Caribbean and immigrated when she was older? But I’ve heard of other girls online from different backgrounds talk about the same thing so it seems kind of universal for girls.
Why are women just expected to have babies/raise a family?
In the US, women ARE encouraged to go to college and have careers. That really started in the 50s (Boomers) but wasn't widely adopted until the following generation (GenX).
So, how did that turn out? The career women are much less happy (based on dozens of surveys), and they are FAR more likely to be alone - no husband, no children - and while being alone is fun and easy when they are younger, the vast majority find it to be horribly lonely once they hit 35 and realize that they have little to look forward to but 30 more years of work, alone.
And most women aren't planning for their old age, and how incredibly expensive it can be. With no family to care for them, most will need an assisted living facility to live their final years in a decent way - but today, a terrible facility costs $6000/month and a decent one starts at $9000/month and can go up from there. Few career women have that kind of savings/investments - most have no where close - and we're seeing an increase of Boomer women who are homeless in their "retirement age", which was formerly very rare.
That is going to increase with the current levels of inflation, but that's nothing compared to what's going to happen in 20 years, when my generation hits that age, with 20 times the number of familyless women hitting retirement age. They will have taken lots of trips and bought lots of clothes and home furnishings, but so many will have next to nothing to retire on, and no one to help them.
As I said, it's very easy for women to be single in their 20s, tougher in their 30s, and worse every year after that. Women "live" through their relationships, and very few can be happy alone. The Internet is full of stories that say this, in women's own words.
You don't need to believe me, though. You can talk to older single women yourself - at home or online - or you can read the articles yourself. Maybe you are the rare exception who can be happy alone long-term - it's possible. But if you are wrong, the cost is enormous, and you'll pay it for decades. You'll have to work harder for more hours for many years to get through life without a partner to share expenses, and you'll still be alone.
The alternative is a husband and family - but that path requires plans and sacrifices too. It's no different for men - families are a huge sacrifice, but there's nothing with a bigger upside, which is why we're willing to make those sacrifices.
How you live YOUR life is up to you, and whatever you decide, there will be consequences and costs. Make sure you really understand what those are before you decide.
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My family’s isn’t from the US. And I don’t want to have my own children, id want to adopt or foster one day though if I ever had the time and resources though but that’s about it
Fair enough. But that will come with plenty of other consequences, which you should also explore in depth. Many of these kinds of decisions can't be reversed once made, so it's really important that you know what the possibilities could be before you make a choice - and you have to be grounded in reality about that, even when the reality is harsh - because harsh things happen to people all the time.
First off, women are not men. I know many expect equality, but within a narrow rule of law, it's only in opportunity. In nature, the human woman is the beautiful fairer sex that has the capability to engineer her nest and put babies into it.
In the last 60 years we have deviated from the natural order to our detriment. Now we have women who want to do man things and they are only as successful as men let them be in those roles. If rule of law ever fails, any woman in power will likely be ran off or even executed by a stronger male leader.
Now that we allow women in the western world choose their future life, be it raise a family, get a job, or even try to do both, it's starting to to become evident that women as a whole are not good at pretending to be men. There are exceptions. Some women can do some jobs in the professional world far better than men, but given that in the last 80 years, we as most nations of the world have become decadent with an easy life. Doing stuff for our survival has been forgotten, and an enemy is not ready to sweep through and take all the women as slaves and execute all the men. If that kind of fear was upon us, priorities would be different.
But for now, we let modern excesses captivate us, and we get weaker and dumber each new generation, protected by a nuclear arsenal that uses a tracking system that based on technology equalent to a Commodore 64. It will fail one day, and an enemy and opportunity will present itself.
Then it will be very clear why men are men, and women are women. Until then, we will get to embrace people trying to choose their gender and think of stupid things to occupy their time.
Firstly, getting married/having a family doesn't conflict with going to school or having a career. There are plenty of women who do both. It honestly annoys me a bit when people talk about them as if you have to choose one or the other when there are so many examples of women out there who are able to do/have both. I'm sorry, but it's a clear false dichotomy that some people bring up for reasons I don't understand. Secondly, if there is a hard definitive choice between the two I'd have to say that family is by far the most important choice. Maybe some women think that's very un-feminist of me to say, but I'd be telling a huge lie if I said anything otherwise. I enjoy my work as a real estate agent. I meet and talk to lots of interesting people, I make good money, and I genuinely love houses (ever since I was a little girl I've been a big fan of HGTV). However, at the end of my life when I'm thinking about what was most important I'm not going to be thinking about all the houses I sold or great business deals I made. I'm going to be thinking about my husband and my four kids. I'm not unique in that regard either. For the vast majority of people their career will not give them the kind of fulfillment meaningful and deep relationships create. Those relationships far more often then not come in the form of family. Family is (far more often than not) created through marriage and children.
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This doesn’t have anything to do with feminism and I never said the two conflicted. I’m saying specifically my mom doesn’t think that women should get an education
Maybe you never stated it directly, but I felt the way your question was structured very much indicated that was a dichotomy your mindset was in. You started out your question off with complaining about your mom saying you couldn't do stuff because your mom said your husband wouldn't like it and you said that women in your family generally don't have good experiences with men. Then you asked 'why aren't women just encouraged to go to school or do something beneficiary with themselves?' Then you say you don't want to get married. So even if you didn't directly say those two things were in conflict your post strongly suggests they're at least in conflict within your own mind
I don't know what cultural background you come from, but I can attest that in my background I (and most other kids around me) were pretty much just expected to attend college. I'm sure that's not the case everywhere, but that was the case for where I grew up. So I would imagine there is some different sort of culture that's influencing your family to think women shouldn't go to school.
I'll be honest, I expect my daughters to get married, but I expect that for them because I'm sure that's what's going to give the most happiness out of life. Sure, maybe they could choose not to get married or have kids and put all their time into having some illustrious career. However, at the end of the day the people who care about you aren't your co-workers or clients. They may like you or be friendly with you or appreciate the work you do, but when the chips are down they'll be looking after themselves and leave you behind. At the end of the day the people who care about you and give the greatest meaning in life are your family. Again, family almost always is created through marriage and children. I'm sure there are some rare exceptions, but 99% of people aren't going to have some career that gives more fulfillment then the close personal relationships that family provides.
I don’t even like school to be quite honest, I just want to get an education cause it seems like a requirement.
I don’t like how the education system is structured and the classism in the colleges.
When I’m older I’d love to be able to work and do stuff that will actually make the world a better place, so I’ll clarify that part ^.
I just don’t see marriage is a big goal for me like most people try to make it a goal for me.
And I’m just trying to ask why people’s don’t see the fulfillment in being alone. A lot of people see being along or living alone as this horrible thing but if you can’t stand being by yourself for so long than how can you stand being around others?
I think a lot of people now a days don’t really know how to be alone or have this ideological perception of how their life should turn out based off a societal standard when in reality what everyone finds fulfilling should be based off of an individual standpoint and not the eyes of some random majority.
I very much disagree that the fear of being alone is some societal inflicted concept upon people and that if they were just free of that we'd all be just as happy single. The need and fulfillment for close meaningful relationships is something that transcends societies and cultures. It's innate within humanity. I suppose theoretically you could have friendships that fulfill that need, but I'd say that's far more than likely not going to be the case. Friends, even very close friends, typically come and go in life. However, family (more often then not) sticks around forever. I'm sure there are some exceptions to this, but they're just that: exceptions. For the vast majority of people those meaningful close relationships we innately need as people come from family. Family is almost always created through marriage and kids.
Even if you want to have some career as a doctor, teacher, social worker, or some other job many would consider to be charitable you more than likely still won't get that same fulfillment as you would from family. I'm not saying you can't do good things and get fulfillment, but it's not going to be on the same level. Barack Obama said that at the end of his life he's not going to be thinking about the things he did during his presidency. He's going to be thinking about the time he spent with his wife and two girls.
Maybe you'll become a teacher and have great impacts on some kids. Maybe you'll become a doctor and even save lives. Those people may be very grateful to you. However, when it comes down to it they'll still come and go in and out of your life. However, your family will stay with you forever. Moreover, the impact you have on your kids and your husband will be far bigger than the impact you will have on your students, patients, or whomever else you work with (even if that impact is significant). There truly is nothing that replaces family, and that's a truth that transcends societies and cultures
Again, I never said anything about careers being fulfilling. I said what’s fulfilling for others shouldn’t be judged by a societal standard. Or should be judged by an individual standard because what you find fulfilling might not be the same for others
I dont plan on having kids of my own. I've gotten used to the responses i receive after i answer them. “Thats okay, you’ll change your mind”, “what? Why? you're prEttY your babies would be so beautiful”, “who will take care of you when you’re old?”. For my parents, automatically theyve never asked me if i wanted babies, they assume that i do (like everyone does), so they’d just always talk about being grandparents and stuff. I just wouldn't say anything.
I do understand why a lot of people want a big family. I understand why, even though its wrong, women are assumed to want babies, but lets just hope one day, time will come when people would learn to respect a woman’s decision of not wanting to have kids, without having to own them a reason why.
I know what people will think when they hear me say “i dont plan on having kids”, and yes, it sucks, but i also dont plan on changing my mind because of it.
I know (most) men want them. I just have to find someone who wants what i wants. No compromises on both our parts.
Most women want babies, most want children so it is an innate inner drive/desire for most women.
Until a few decades ago women naturally had kids because they had sex. For thousands of years women lived like all animals on the planet... if you mate you get offspring. The advanced birth control has only been around for about 60 years. I'm sure they did some things in the past to try and avoid pregnancy but it wasn't as dependable as it is now.
Women's bodies produce food for the baby. Women are recovering from giving birth... biologically women's bodies produce milk... not the men's so the women nursed and cared for newborns.
Women naturally have an ingrained innate nurturing quality to care for and interact with kids. Hey, pretty much every daycare center and every kindergarten and preschool class on the planet is worked by women. It seems women go for this more than men... otherwise there would be tons of men working in childcare. Some men can do a good job caring for kids but most aren't wired that way and don't want to do that unless out of necessity... they are single dads and they are obligated to do it. It isn't innate... something they need to do, something they want to do, their inner soul is craving to tend to these babies.
"Expect" is just a moot word in this case. Most people want to do it and most do do it. Since you don't have to if you don't want to then this issue is really moot. No one is going to make you... if you don't want kids, don't have kids. Most women want to. End of story.
Its called expectations, do you seriously think that men are free? You have far FAR more options then men do. Men are expected to work themselves to death, provide for their families, and die. Its life, in order to be functional we all have expectations placed on us, only women are told that expectations are absurd. You can do what ever you want of course, no one can make you do anything but again, people expect things of you because as adults we have to be responsible and do things that we don't like to do. Do you seriously think that men enjoy working dead end jobs only to hand over everything they make to their wives and children (I know a man who is working THREE jobs and gets only about four hours of sleep a day to support his family. He isn't doing it because its fun.)? No, they do it because its an expectation placed on them and because that is what is required to survive. Responsibility isn't a bad thing but it is hard. Privilege isn't a good thing but it is easy.
Well first of all I'm glad your thinking ahead , so that means pay attention be smart and don't get pregnant and then you won't be put in that position but yeah I think you're right I think you should go to school get a good education and become the person you want to become remember in life we are all given a gift that gift is the word choice we get to choose whoever we want to be by the things we say we do every step we take is a choice everything you do is a choice if you get pregnant that's your choice because you didn't protect yourself so always be looking ahead like you are right now and you'll do fine you'll do great and like with this question this is a question a leader would ask I'm glad to see that you would be a leader not a follower
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Yeah. On top of that with Texas basically putting a ban on abortion, it’s not safe. I don’t want to be forced to give birth to a baby if I’m not ready or have the resources to take care of it so that’s off my list for sure
if a woman wants to be in a traditional relationship then she would be wise to understand her strengths & weaknesses and how it's better if both people don't try to do the same things. Biologically, according to scientists, women don't handle stress as well as men. The exact same job will stress out a woman massively more than a man. The idea that men and women are the same is a myth. People in cultures where they've had a lot of hard times recently or more recently, are more in-tune with the biological realities.
If there's a natural disaster and you can't work the cushy office job in an air conditioned office or be in school, you will suddenly be singing the praises of the men breaking their backs to get you food, shelter, security instead of claiming you don't need them or that they scare you. That's just life.
Really depends on your culture, what you describe I have never heard of. I grew up being told women are equals and can do whatever a man can do.
We believe in the women going to school college and so forth, in fact I have several sister in laws who went to college and got their degrees and then decided (their choice) to be stay at home moms and raise the kids. It was recommended actually so that if something happened, death of husband or so that she'd be able to go out, get a decent job and take over.
Like I said, culture for sure... what you describe is nothing like I've seen around here.
You have a choice. You can marry and have a family or say fuck what your parents want and pursue a career. You might lose your parents respect but you’ll get what you want.
Tried inserting argument picture of happy mother but gag sucks and is glitchy af.
End point. Everything comes with consequences little girl. You get a career and risk your family and a future family or you pursue a future family while it’s still easy. Because when your not cute or your old men won’t want you as much and you’ll never have the opportunity to have a good man again.
I would say that's not true unless you're in an extremely traditional family. That notion is quickly dying out.
Most people of my generation and younger (at least where I grow up; Ontario) do not believe in that nonsense. Women can be whatever they want to be. Their purpose is most certainly not to just have babies and raise them. However, it's also a fact that women are also the only gender that can biologically have kids, so if a couple ever get to that point then yes... they will be a mother. It's also a psychological fact that women grow more attached to the kid growing inside of them and are generally more nurturing and caring by nature. There is nothing wrong with this. You'll understand more as you experience life.
Women are not inferior and should not be subservient.
I think women are equal to men in all respects except size, physical strength and the ability to get pregnant if they want to. I encourage women to do what they want to do, whether it be having children and raising families, or getting an education and pursuing careers. Actually, having a profitable skill provides security. You don't have to be dependent on someone else for survival. Let's say you get married and one day your husband dies or leaves you, you have a way to provide for yourself. It happens.
I'll add that being self sufficient doesn't preclude women from having relationships, getting married, or even having children. Confident and competent men and women compliment each other and make the best partners. They can also have really good sex without popping out babies. Women are not required to produce babies. My wife and I decided not to have children and we are happy that we didn't. But that's just us.
Here in the US women are pushed to go to college and make a career for themselves. I never wanted to follow that trend, birthing and raising children are what women are made to do. I know personally I could never see a job as valuable as bringing life into the world. But I guess it's all a choice if a women does or doesn't want kids it's all up to them to decide.
I definitely think it's because it's a very common thing and it has traditional ties. And to build a society, it's very important for women to generally value those things.
But with that being said, I don't think that someone should be angry with someone else for not wanting it. There are plenty of people in the world that value raising kids. And there are plenty of people in the world that have kids and don't even want them. So there's not a high demand for humans. At this point, it would just controlling if they kept projecting their insignificant ideals (regarding this context) on you.
If you don't want to ever start a family and don't ever plan to get married then I say sure go to school and get a career.
But... If you want a man in the future. Well men is not going to care how much money you make or how independent you are.
Men that want to start a family only cares about how you look and how you take care of kids and the house.
I mean there are simps now that would basically do everything and even let you sleep with other men as long as you're happy. I don't consider those people to be men tho.
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I don’t want to be with a man that likes me only for my looks? Also studies have shown that the more educated a women is the less chance she has of getting a partner. Which is fine by me but just pointing it out since you said that men don’t care about education
I think your family are from a conservative and very orthodox culture. It is not the case in non-orthodox families. Staying at home with children is great and if you have the finances then it’s the best thing for kids but if you need extra money then it is necessary to have two incomes. People hardly work for others because they love it or want to, they do it to earn their daily bread because they have to. They need to feed themselves and their families. Those who actually enjoy their work tend to work for themselves. In that case mummy can stay at home with baby and work from home.
Do NOT confuse the Deity's manifest design with the hypocritical misogynists' BULLSHIT. Ask yourself, WHAT THE HELL COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT than your atavistic 'career' to sit in (and literally 'on') judgement of WHO'S DNA combines with your Ovum, to determine our SPECIES next generation?
THAT says 'YOU' as THE female (presently) have a Monopoly on THAT process BUT... as but ONE of many females, only holds a divine 'franchise' to determine WHO in particular... gets to fertilize those eggs!
THIS IS your MOST IMPORTANT Life Choice... ALL ELSE is just 'busy work'.
They aren’t anymore. According to several people who espouse Woke ideology, pregnancy is a social construct and men can get pregnant too. So men can now get pregnant apparently and can have their own babies and raise them, relieving the feminists who think it’s so easy to a man and enjoy imitating them to financially support us so we can make babies and be househusbands.
This has nothing to do with feminism and prager u is a questionable channel. A lot of the people that are given segments on their rarely ever even have credible sources for the information they’re talking about and love to be disingenuous about statistics. Not to mention prager Us pro white supremacist and homophobic videos.
As a black queer girl, The content on prager u is a pool of misinformation, hate, and propaganda
@Extermonatore I said what I said, prayer u isn’t a credible source. Do you know how many times they just quote themselves and try to pass it on as a fact
First of all I don’t know why you’re mentioning Preger U. Neither of these videos are made by them. One is a clip of Candice Owens show with her interviewing Marc Lamont Hill a former CNN anchor. The other is a clip from the Joe Rogan Show.
It has everything to do with feminism. That’s the old feminist line from the 60’s that is so atrocious for women to have babies, raise them and make a house into a home. That being a man and hauling yourself off to work and chaining yourself to a cubical or to a piece of heavy equipment on some construction site is all glory and wonderment as opposed to being a housewife. Meanwhile the demanded equal pay for equal work and in my line or work have equal pay and many are unable to do the equal work part because it’s difficult and they aren’t cut out for it, most of them anyway. Feminists some how managed to convince women they had it bad. That being able to stay at home and run a house at their leisure and on their schedule was awful. That it was awful to have the freedom to make your own schedule and preform work in a climate controlled environment and that it was so prestigious to haul yourself off to a thankless job to be the slave of some boss who doesn’t care about you at all.
Then there’s your mention of Preger U being white supremacist. That’s laughable. That’s how the left is labeling anyone who is conservative. It’s a wicked lie. Let me inform you of some thing you’re probably unaware of. Denis Preger, the owner of Preger U is Jewish. Do you think a Jew who is intimately familiar with the Holocaust is going to be a white supremacist?
So you went on this whole rant about Preger U and I don’t even see how it’s relevant. I never mentioned them or posted anything by them. Soon you leftists will be calling Candice Owens a white supremacist.
Let me help you. You are aware that everyone who disagrees with left wing politics is not automatically a racist, sexist, homophobe, transphobe, islamaphobe, nativist, xenophobe.
You are aware the left uses these terms to brand political opponents in a negative light. It’s an attempt to silence and shame political opposition by attacking the character of the person with which views and labeling them. This is exactly what the Nazis did to their political opposition. Not that the leftists in America are Nazis... they’re bolsheviks. That may be a subtle distinction but examine the ideologies objectively and the tactics and you won’t be able to come to another conclusion.
So, disagreeing with leftist views does not make someone an evil person no matter how much the left tries.
That brings me to another point. Everything that comes from a conservative source doesn’t automatically make it wrong. That’s the latest leftist attempts to win hearts and minds. By “fact checking” thing so as to give the appearance they are false and citing trivial reasons for them being so. By attempting to call everything right wing sources put out as lies it is an attempt to silence opposing views. I hope you can see these are the tactics being used.
I don’t believe anything that comes out of Candice Owens mouth and you shouldn’t either. She’s in her position all for the money, she claims that racism doesn’t exist yet sued a racist guy in the past for making racist threats and got 32k for it
Not to mention, a few years ago when she was 28 she rented a 380k apartment only to then file a claim that she got toxic mole sickness just so she could get out of paying rent.
I don’t agree. Candice is pretty legit. Candice does not say racism doesn’t exist. She says systematic racism doesn’t exist. I don’t believe it does either.
You’re not being honest the article states first it was her father that sued and it was over death threats.
As for the law suit, there’s 2 sides to every pancake. What was the outcome of the lawsuit?
You sound like a feminist. In 2021 America who is saying women are expected to have babies and a family?
Actually, they aren't they're expected to raise babies only They have to raise the family be the CEO pay for a half the bills in their household push out the kids and do everything. Feminism villainizes women who are like now I'm going to stay home and take care of my house and my husband will work and I will manage the home and he will manage supporting the home and that's like the biggest crime in the world. And then twenty years later the kids are all in therapy and rehab.
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I think only white feminism does that but the intersectional feminist movements don’t care. If a women wants to be a housewife by her own choice than we support that cause it’s her choice
As they said in, "Fiddler On The Roof", TRADITIOOOOOOOOON, TRADITION!! Besides, if both parents go off to work, who's going to raise the kids? My ex-sister did it that way! She went to work in the daytime, her hubby was in school and the kid was left home alone!! When they came home, they went out partying and LEFT THE KID HOME ALONE!! Today, that kid is 30 years old, he has been in jail 3 or 4 times, mostly for drugs and graffiti, has wrecked every car she has ever owned and STILL runs around doing graffiti!!! I have a newspaper item on him getting busted for it when he was 28!!! It's on the front page of the B or C section!! Mom would bitch at her all the time that he CAN'T be left home alone!! She'd just say, "I have a life!! Besides, he can figure shit out for himself!" He sure did!!!
What do you expect life to be? Raising kids and making housework alone is a responsible activity because the parents are expected to educate their children and teach them manners. In an ideal situation both parents are obliged to do that. Having kids is a luxury in modern day and age. Normally women are expected to do the housework because women are generally better at taking care and being there for other people while guys rather like to work with objects than with people.
You don´t need to have kids to be seen or taking seriously as a woman. Raising kids is a luxury and responsibility people need to be ready for. There are guys aroundwho are neither fond of the idea of having kids nor are just interested in sex.
Exactly. I want to adopt or foster one day maybe if I have the resources but I don’t like the idea of having my own kid and I don’t think marriage is the path for me
Though raising children can be a thankless Job from society God doesn't think so. If you seek Jesus and His Kingdom you will have the best relationship possible. Some women are able to work and raise children and others are not. You may change your mind when of age. The woman I'm getting to know is a research scientist and I am an engineer. Even if she leaves her career, she could still help me and our family with her skills. I may even need her help in making some science experiments. Marriage is about following Jesus' guidance and working together. Everyone is different, but God matches them perfectly. I pray you can find God's love.
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I’m not religious.
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And please don’t speak about god on this thread that literally is a trigger for me
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That is just conviction. If your soul is troubled with Sin, Jesus can free you from it. He died so you don't have to. Wouldn't you love to be freed of your triggers.
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That’s not how mental health work and it’s wrong you’re trying to use my issues with mental health to try to convert me to your religion. Don’t do that man?
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Um. A trigger is something that effects your emotional state? You’re confusing the term completely. Words have different definitions, I’m referring to the medical definition of a trigger.
Researching on this topic isn’t that hard. You just want to be ignorant.
And I have no problem with your religion, but don’t force your morals down my throat. I’ve already made a specific boundary that I don’t want you religious beliefs on my post yet you continue to just blatantly disrespect the small boundary I put in place in a nice manner?
And than you passive aggressively tell me that I’m going to fail in life? Ok bud.
And you wonder why I’m not apart of the Jesus fandom. This is the definition of delusion, forcing your religious beliefs on a minor and afterwards getting mad when I call out bs where I see it?
Um, alright? Not to mention my culture practices spirituality not organized religion.
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You obviously are dense in the head and can’t respect a simple boundary
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"You are obviously dense in the head..." very passive
You posed a question and don't like the answer. There are no boundaries with the truth. You may very well have a desired answer, but that doesn't make it true nor satisfies the question. God is the reason for life, love, sex, joy, families, and all that is good. Without God there is no reason and naturally people are found unreasonable. You can be given reason and through that purpose, but now you are without reason.
History is bound to repeat itself. We wouldn't be as civilized (skyscrapers, public transportation, etc) as a society if women wernt supporting the household and children while men built and protected america. Equality is a delusional notion, look at the biological facts.
