I know a lot of single mothers and have dated a few and the difference is big. And i have always wondered why. A man tries to date an unencumbered woman and she has ALL sorts of expectations and a morphing list of what she wants in (from) a man, and sometimes that list is ridiculous, most of which even SHE doesn't have. "Must have a fancy car" and she rides the bus, "can't live with his parents", but she does.
Like its a buffet, and they pick what you want, in order to get a perfect plate. And if you managed to date one of them, you always had break up hanging over your head if you didn't maintain the parts of that plate/or requests on the list.
But the single mothers (the ones i dated anyway) were amazing. They were WILLING to actually make the relationship work, and the requests were decent, yea you still had to be stable, but you didn't have to own a car or even a fancy, or run a business or have a certain bank balance (yes, yes, i have heard these and more). All they wanted was for history not to repeat itself, loyalty, to be good to their kid (s) and they were patient and willing to work through issues rather then threaten break up or give ultimatums.
When i asked many of these women why they were so amazing but were dealing with a kid on their own and not with someone, most said the same thing, they chased after the wrong one, and its usually the "bad" boy or from what they said, someone who "seemed" perfect according to their list and that is how they got there. Because he left or cheated or something. Why? Because your list was not unique, meaning you are not uni...: topic for another day.
So why does it take having a child and being left to raise a kid alone to change many women's perspective as to what they want from/in a man in a relationship?
As for the women i dated, why am i not with them?, i can't speak for all men, but i think most would prefer to START a family, not join one already started.
Like its a buffet, and they pick what you want, in order to get a perfect plate. And if you managed to date one of them, you always had break up hanging over your head if you didn't maintain the parts of that plate/or requests on the list.
But the single mothers (the ones i dated anyway) were amazing. They were WILLING to actually make the relationship work, and the requests were decent, yea you still had to be stable, but you didn't have to own a car or even a fancy, or run a business or have a certain bank balance (yes, yes, i have heard these and more). All they wanted was for history not to repeat itself, loyalty, to be good to their kid (s) and they were patient and willing to work through issues rather then threaten break up or give ultimatums.
When i asked many of these women why they were so amazing but were dealing with a kid on their own and not with someone, most said the same thing, they chased after the wrong one, and its usually the "bad" boy or from what they said, someone who "seemed" perfect according to their list and that is how they got there. Because he left or cheated or something. Why? Because your list was not unique, meaning you are not uni...: topic for another day.
So why does it take having a child and being left to raise a kid alone to change many women's perspective as to what they want from/in a man in a relationship?
As for the women i dated, why am i not with them?, i can't speak for all men, but i think most would prefer to START a family, not join one already started.
