Why are women so obsessed about having children?

[Anonymous]

I have been trying for year to have a relationship with a woman, all I am looking for is female companionship. I been rejected for many things, and most I got. But one that ticks me off, is that 3 women have rejected me the moment I made it clear I have no desire to father children. I believe if it wasn't for that detail, I would have had a chance. you would think that with the cost of lying, taxes, and the fact that you give up a lot of freedoms that come with being a parent...if you know you haven't got what it takes, or no desire to make sacrifices...why do it? and why do women judge men for having the foresight to say no?

[FedUpBlahBlahBlah]

I'm so glad I have a woman who doesn't want kids... If the only reason we're put on this God-forsaken planet is to procreate, I guess God didn't factor in overpopulation, disease, starvation, wars over limited resources...whatever. But aside from the obvious, there's "normal." I myself, try to avoid normality like it's the plague. It destroys lives and devours souls. It turns bright, aspiring innovators into mindless, drooling zombies. But let's face it, most people are sheep. "Ba-a-a-a-a!" They just don't know, nor do they want to know any different. They go to their normal jobs, buy and sell their normal goods and services, and pretty much live their normal lives the way normal people do. They eek their way slowly up the ladder and die with barely if any respectable sum of money to their names, leaving their kids to continue the cycle all over again. Then there are those who learn something like how to play the stock market or get into turning houses for a profit in real estate. They make more in a year than most people see in their entire lives. They drive porsches and lamborghinis, and throw extravagant parties on their yachts or in their million dollar mansions. They are the Donald Trumps and the Bill Gates's of society. They see things differently than most, and that's why they're where they are now. They're not "normal." They are the elite...the 1%-ers...the movers and shakers of society. They refused to settle for the mundane. Either way is an acceptable way of life, depending on who you are and what you will settle for, but it all boils down to whether you're content with doing things the normal, mundane way, the way society expects of you...or the way that's going to bring you closer to the lifestyle you want for yourself. It's all a matter of personal choice, but for me, finding a woman who doesn't want kids was like learning how to play the stock market in a world of grocery store cashiers. I simply refused to settle for anything less and eventually, it paid off. We get so much more accomplished than if we had kids to worry about. We save more money, we have more time for trips and enjoying ourselves, we can sleep in on the weekends...I could go on. But my point is, enjoy enlightenment. Use it. But don't hold it's absence against the ones who don't have it. They're "normal" and theyll always be content with the mundane. You don't want that noise anyway. Just join a dating service and advertise right up front that you don't want anything to do with rugrats. Women who don't need to have kids to feel useful are few and far between, but they're out there and trust me...they're worth the wait.

[Lilianne]

You are awesome! I wish more men thought that way... So far all men I come across either don't know what they want or just accommodate for a not so exiting future with a woman below average. But you are right: who waits it out, gets the reward. Thank you for inspiration!

[Duncan_from_London]

Most women want to have children for several reasons which combine powerfully. There are strong evolutionary and social psychological predispositions towards having children. It fits with the dominant ideologies. It's extraordinarily satisfying. It's also a good test of a partner's tendency to stick in the relationship, since it's harder to leave if you have children.

They are not judging you, although they might think it's strange to not want to have children.

You are doing exactly the right thing in being up-front with these women, because otherwise you are each wasting the others' time. It's not a first date thing, since women often don't be open to discussing that early and, often, even women who won't want children are embarrassed to admit it.

My suggestion: stop dating women in their mid to late 30s. Date older women who have already had children or won't be having them. Date younger women who don't want to have kinds in the next few years.

Also, do consider that you might change your mind as you get older.

[Lizardbreath]

As a woman who has chosen to not have kids, it's good that you're not stuck with someone who would force you into a life you didn't want. Both people need to agree on every important thing in life in order to have a long and happy relationship. It sucks that they judge you for not wanting kids, but there are plenty of people in this world who aren't like that. If you find someone and they get scared off because you're upfront and being yourself, then why would you want to stick with them? A person is supposed to love you for who you are and respect you. If they can't respect your decisions for your life, then it's not meant to be. And, vice versa. It's normal not to want kids, so just stick to your guns. You're bound to find someone like you.

I married a man who is like me. Both of us don't want kids. We can't afford it, I have genetic disorders that could pass on, we don't want them anyways, and we don't want to contribute to overpopulation nor do we want to lose our freedom. If we ever choose to want children, we will adopt or foster, since so many kids need love and families. We find ourselves normal. Life is fun and fulfilling. We enjoy life and love hanging with friends and families. People try to put us down for our choices, but I find that wrong. Everyone lives a different life. Not everyone is meant to do the same as everyone else. If they did, everyone would just be a sheep and life would be boring and bland.

[jessi-rabbit08]

Well I am only 17 but if a guy told me he never wanted kids. It would be over. I have nieces and nephews and I love them. I see them and think I would be a good mother. That doesn't mean I want to go and get pregnant now but later down the road I want a kid or 2. I know for a lot of people kids are the reason they broke up. If you don't want kids at all then say that. There is no point in wasting your time and theirs. If you want kids in a few year then tell them. Eventually you will find someone who wants the same things you do.

I don't think its wrong to not want children but I think you should expect a lot of people to disagree.

I understand the things you give up for kids but to me everything you get back from them is completly worth it. I respect the fact that you are upfront about it. Not that my opinion probably means much but I do.

Hope I helped some.

[Tigerlily]

The woman most likely is looking for someone to spend the rest of her life with. She probably wants to have kids one day too. So if she's looking for a man who could potentially be the father of her children, he has to want to have kids. Otherwise, she's getting herself into a situation where she might fall in love with you, but you'd agonise over whether to have kids or not. She'd know she was missing out on something she really wanted, and you'd get annoyed at her for being 'so obsessed about having children.'

Don't judge them for having the foresight to say no.

[Killfest400]

It's just preference. Just like you enjoy the freedom of not having children, people enjoy the rewards of having a child. For someone of your age, it's not surprising that women would want to have children, given that it's pretty much their last chance.

There isn't anything wrong with having children unless you are unfit to raise them. Cost of living and taxes would only be an issue if you can't actually afford to raise the child. If people who have the money to properly raise a child want to do so, then that's their choice.

Likewise, there isn't anything wrong with you NOT wanting to have children. If you don't want the financial and emotional investment in raising kids, then don't. However, those who do want children aren't going to stay with you, because ultimately one of you is going to be unhappy.

[jtj25m]

They aren't judging you. Why would a person live their lives with someone who doesn't share such an important goal in common with them? It would be quite silly to do so. Many people have such deal breakers, and it has nothing to do with judging anyone. Those who want to have children don't see them as burdens, but as blessings.

[Anonymous]

As a woman, I have actually only had the misfortune of stumbling upon men who want kids. My current boyfriend seems to be the only one to break that vicious circle.

For the reasons mentioned above by FedUpBlahBlah, plus a few more, I have no interest in having children.

If I ever end up making heaps of money in my sleep, I might consider leaving all that fortune to my next of kin and not some uncle. Otherwise, I have no interest in being saddled.

[Rainbows]

Uh, because the main reason human beings exist is to have children.

[Asker]

Wow, and I thought I had no life

[Duncan_from_London]

Question Asker, that is just abusive. If you ask for advice don't take it out on people when they reply. You are getting truthful answers where girls are telling you how they think. Learn from it, don't reject it.

[FedUpBlahBlahBlah]

...and that's the difference between merely "existing" and truly living. ;)

[Lisamarie2016]

Wow really so everyone who has a vagina their only reason to exist is to pop out kids wow

[Lizardbreath]

What a sad life you live. I feel super fulfilled in life by simply having a wonderful husband for 10 years, a family who loves me, a good job, my health, the fact that I want to live life and that I got an education. I don't need kids in order to feel happy and make my existence meaningful. And, if I do want kids, I will adopt. We're overpopulated as it is. Your answer makes you sound like a mindless zombie. If that's the only reason to live, then life is just boring.