Search Results: erasing a love

I'm 14 years old. I've loved this guy for four and a half years , he seemed to like to me too due to behavior and what his friends did around me. We graduated recently and are going to different high schools. I miss him, my summer has been a painful experience. I fear of never seeing him again, I have him added on Instagram and when I liked a few of his pictures he uploaded more pictures of himself. I really want to see him, but my parents would never agree. They found out that I liked him and sent him a message congratulating him on graduation and got mad. They told me to forget about him and that he never liked me, but I can't erase four and a half years worth of feelings. I really and truly love him, but I scared that I may never see him again. Should I wait for untill after high school and college. I feel so torn and my feeling shave gotten stronger. Please help me?

Here's the backdrop. He's 42 and I'm 31. We've been together for almost four years now. He got out of a nasty divorce with a crazy woman about 2 years before we started dating.

He's definitely got some baggage from it.

I definitely have my own, also. To be more precise, they're alcoholic-narcissistic-mentally/emotionally/verbally/physically abusive, daddy issues. You can see where we'd have some issues.

I was very depressed last year, and finally hates myself enough to seek therapy and medication to stabilize my suicidal thoughts, flashbacks, and nightmares... Plus many more.

My boyfriend dealt with a lot of self doubt and through my own pain and suffering, I wasn't able to hear his about my lack of attention and love to him. So we end up having a pissing contest when we fight, about who has had more pain and who's feelings deserve validation. Bottom line, we both do.

I've been smoking pot to help with my depression and anxiety (yay Washington State!) and even though it's legal and we're able to buy it in stores (yeah, rad huh?), we still go through our grapevine because it's about $15-$20 cheaper a gram. We were going through a friend Bob* for quite a while until his sister *Jane, took over. My boyfriend found himself crushing on her because of his attraction to Latinas. she's Latina. And gorgeous. Well, here's the thing. Every time she texted him, he'd rush to answer it. He'd be replying to it and giggle, qnd smile. He lit up. He told me that he was going to erase all the texts because I was paranoid. But eventually, with enough prodding and me point blank telling him that he was acting the same way he did when we hooked up and that I wasn't stupid, he came clean about his attraction to her. And fantasied about having sex with her. And that she's "cool," and "fun to talk to." Last night she came over because she needed somewhere to hang out for a bit, and it was e