Search Results: does he truly still love me

My ex went on her mission in December of 2016, after we dated for almost 4 years. We discussed mariage before she left and after a few months into her mission, she broke things off because of the mission.
We split twice before, because of the same issues. And halfway through the mission, I wrote to her and she read my email 18 times before she responded and I could see and feel how conflicted she was. But after talking for two months, we couldn't find common ground.
I waited until a month before she was due home, and I sent a letter apologizing for my shortcomings, and just showing how much I truly loved her. I sent it digitally to her original and mission Facebook, and physically to her parents home.
So she was due home, and I got curious and looked. The mission Facebook changed from Sister ___ to her nickname. But she posted she was about to leave on June 30th.
Mid July, I didn't see any changes on her Facebook, or her family's and I messaged her old cellphone number, asking if she came home and if she could call me. Her brother replied 5 days later that it wasn't her phone anymore. But I said I knew it was him, and asked if she got my letter, and he replied saying she got it. I apologized and asked to apologize on my behalf and I was hoping to hear from her.
In the past, her family has never reached out to me or even responded to anything from me. Her mom said to talk to her while my girlfriend was gone, and the three times I messaged her she never responded.
It's now been almost a month, and still no update on her Facebook (s) or her family's. I even looked at their Instagram, and nothing. I just don't understand.
Is she just decompressing, is her family hiding her, or is she just simply not home yet, or any other ideas? I just don't understand. I thought I did everything I could to show I love her and want to marry her, and she wanted to marry me. My heart is just broken.
Help...
I just don't understand

so you want to be a writer?

if it doesn’t come bursting out of you

in spite of everything,

don’t do it.

unless it comes unasked out of your

heart and your mind and your mouth

and your gut,

don’t do it.

if you have to sit for hours

staring at your computer screen

or hunched over your

typewriter

searching for words,

don’t do it.

if you’re doing it for money or

fame,

don’t do it.

if you’re doing it because you want

women in your bed,

don’t do it.

if you have to sit there and

rewrite it again and again,

don’t do it.

if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it,

don’t do it.

if you’re trying to write like somebody

else,

forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of

you,

then wait patiently.

if it never does roar out of you,

do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife

or your girlfriend or your boyfriend

or your parents or to anybody at all,

you’re not ready.

don’t be like so many writers,

don’t be like so many thousands of

people who call themselves writers,

don’t be dull and boring and

pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-

love.

the libraries of the world have

yawned themselves to

sleep

over your kind.

don’t add to that.

don’t do it.

unless it comes out of

your soul like a rocket,

unless being still would

drive you to madness or

suicide or murder,

don’t do it.

unless the sun inside you is

burning your gut,

don’t do it.

when it is truly time,

and if you have been chosen,

it will do it by

itself and it will keep on doing it

until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.



Were you touched?