Search Results: how do i start to trust more females

bottling up this traumatizing, frustration and anger all my life from my s3xual assault in my pre-teen years?

Right now, I'm a guy who just turned 18 years old recently and you people will most likely not believe me or just "congratulate" me on how "lucky" I am to go through this when I tell you this but when I was 12 years old, my mom (who's a single and always busy working) hired a female babysitter to watch me. This one day, the babysitter brought her boyfriend with her, who's a grown man in his 30s. The next thing that happens is that they double team me to m0lest me (pulling my pants and underwear down and touching me down their inappropriately). I never told my mom or any other adults about it because I've felt that she or no one else would believe me and refuse to acknowledge me as a victim because I'm a male.

5 years later on to my high school years, I eventually started confessing to a few so-called "friends"(mostly Seniors and Super Seniors) about it, Then they started constantly telling me how I'm such a "lucky b@stard" to have a 3s0me with a female babysitter and her man. I told them that I never enjoyed it at all. They started calling me a fag for my honest feelings toward it. Then, my fury and frustration that's bottled up, increased so high up from these guys selfishness, stupidity and ego, I started to snap an beat the bloody shit out of one of them while the rest took off running. Bystanders started calling the police on me and have me sent to juvenile detention center for several months for aggravated assault. I was released feeling even more angry from my injustice from the past.

As of right now, I have trust issues with people because of this. I have trust issues with women because I think they won't believe me because they're afriad of losing their victim status while the men will just refuse to acknowledge me as a child m0lest@tion victim because of one of my perpetrators' gender, along with men's egos.

Recently started dating a female friend of mine after months of just hanging out and getting closer, and closer. It was slow going but we finally crossed the friendship line and were really happy. We feel that we are almost perfect for each other in every way but one: I am very overweight and she feels its best not to commit to someone with a potentially short life and not physically attracted to.
I dont blame her at all for this. It's a harsh reality.
Even before her telling me this I was working on the problem. I dont like admitting my flaws to her so she doesn't know I have joined a gym, been walking more, etc. doing it because I knew it bothered her (and me, a little).
She has said we are just friends again but she would consider dating again once the weight is gone (she saw a pic of me a few years ago and liked what she saw- 60kg ago).

No matter what the weight is going. It will take months but it will happen.
I've heard from 2 theories on where to from there: 1) take her back if she's still keen; you two were perfect together; 2) dont take her back because she couldnt love me for me then, can she be trusted to love me if I got a disfigurement etc? (I dont think of her as being ALL about appearances but obviously it matters).
I really like this woman. As I said above, we feel that with everything else we are perfect.

What do you think? Should we consider getting back together once this issue is fixed or are we best to move on?