Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you just couldn't ever imagine yourself without? You spend mostly all of your time with this person or talking to this person and to even think about never talking to them again makes your stomach turn and your heart hurt.
What I'm about to share is what has worked for me and all I'm looking to do is help others who may need it or will need it.
Getting into a relationship is a very risky situation. You actually have to commit yourself to this person if you're going to try to make it last. Of course no one knows when a break up is going to happen but if you're constantly fighting, you just don't feel comfortable, you've been noticing changes in your partner, or whatever the case may be, you may feel the break up coming.
First let me tell you a few tips on how to prevent a break up:
The reasons people break up can be many different things. These things may include someone losing interest, someone moving, someone getting too obsessive, someone developing qualities the other person may not be able to handle, or someone just not wanting to be in the relationship anymore. Of course there are many other reasons but these are just some of the main ones.
To prevent any of these from happening, you need 4 key things.
1) Communication
Communicaton is one of the most important keys to a good relationship. Your partner is not a mind reader. They don't know what you're feeling so speak up about what it is that's on your mind. More than likely if you've been with someone for a long time they'll be able to tell when something isn't right with you. They'll know that something is probably on your mind because of how quiet you've been or maybe the expression on your face. Your partner may start to think automatically that it's because of them when this may not be the case. That is exactly why you should be open with them and let them know exactly what's going on.
2) Space
Space is important in a relationship when you spend a lot of time with the person. If you spend too much time with someone, you are giving them a chance to get tired of you. Everyone needs a little room to breath without their partner. Once in a while do your own thing and let them do theirs so that it gives you both some time to miss each other. When you finally see each other again even after a day or two you will realize that things have settled down a little and there is not so much tension.
3) Trust
Trust is extremely important because if your partner tells you something you should believe them. If you don't believe them or question them than they may feel hurt or betrayed that you don't trust them and you're questioning them. If this problem occurs more than once they may just get annoyed.
4) Cooperation
Cooperation is important because if your partner wants to do something and you don't, or vica versa they're going to be upset because they want to do these things with you. Here also communication comes in because you can explain to them why you don't want to do this and hopefully they'll understand.
These four things are crucial to a relationship because without these, most likely your relationship will not last long. Now, let's say all of these things don't work out. Maybe you both look a little something like this:
You're fighting because nothing is going right and you feel the break up coming. Everyone is different. It may take a day for you to be over the break up, a couple weeks, months, years, or maybe you will never fully be over it. Regardless, it still does hurt. So.... Here is what I do to get over a break up and the advice I've given to many others who have said it helps. These aren't some magical tricks, infact you've probably heard a lot of them before.
1) Keep yourself distracted
Keeping yourself distracted is number one because it's very important. If you are constantly thinking about the person you are going to make yourself more and more upset and getting over this person is going to be extremely difficult for you. You need to go out places. With friends or family. Put on some of your favorite songs. Sing loudly to the words. Doing this will take your mind of the person at least for a little while. Delete all pictures you've taken with this person because you will always be tempted to look back at them and that will crush your heart. If you don't like deleting pictures, send them to yourself on your email and put them in the saved file so when you're over the break up you can still have them to look back at. DO NOT look at them while trying to get over the break up.
2) Talk to people about it/write in a journal
Talking your feelings out with people helps you get it off your chest. Everyone needs to vent because if you keep all those feelings bottled up, they will never escape and will also drive you crazy. If you're not comfortable talking to someone about your feelings, get a journal. Write all your feelings down here it just helps to get them out. Plus you won't have to worry about being judged. Paper can't talk.
3) Cry
Crying helps release those harsh painful emotions. It's okay to cry. Males or Females can cry. We are all human. When you cry, cry hard. Let it all out because it will bring you one step closer to feeling better again.
4) Ice cream (and if you don't like ice cream, any desert that you love)
Last but not least, treat yourself. If you like ice cream, great! Ice creak is not only yummy but it helps to calm you down and make you feel better. It sends a sensation to your body that naturally cheers you up. If you don't like ice cream, pick something you do like! It will act the same.
You can do all of these things all at once if you'd like. Play some of your favorite songs or put on one of your favorite comedies, get yourself a bowl of ice cream (or the whole jar) get your notebook/journal out, and cry because why not? IT HELPS.
Also, just keep telling yourself every time you get sad again that you're better than them and they're the ones who missed out, not you.
Remember, everything happens for a reason. If it's meant to be it will be.
Anyways, I hope these tips helped you or will help you in the future :)
Remember that you are special and that no one can change that.
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