Search Results: seeing an old friend

I served time in juvie center from 2010-2016. Then from 2016-18 I was under additional supervision and still seeing shrinks. By now I'm trying to be a better person but my criminal past is going to limit the dating pool that's for sure. I do feel remorse for my actions.

For those wondering what it was, what I'm about to write is a strong content. It's very bad.

2010:
- My friend and I set fire to a car. Our ages were 11 and 10. I was the younger girl and the meaner one.
- We took two 1st graders (lying to them about taking them to the fair with their parents) and once we got to an isolated location, started beating them and placed them on a huge garbage bin with crawlies. There was some more to it than just a beating but won't say it. Both were taken to the hospital and one almost suffocated because he had asthma.

For several months, I would spy on my neighbor and his two dogs. Then just a week before those events, my neighbor let me take his dogs (a Shepherd and a Lab that trusted me) for a walk. I did and fed them. Upon serving their bowls, I whispered to them ''sweet dreams''. It was poison, followed by an injection. The old man (he was in his 60's then) was devastated and I hid in a corner, laughing. He found out right on the following week. He went after my mother and reported it.

I can think of a couple times, which I didn't feel bad at all:

- Cheating on some exams during my school years. If I ever got caught then I was smarter next time. I only cheated once in a college and got away with it but this time I felt some guilt and never did it again.

- In 12th grade: took home someone's biology project, copied it (changed some of the wordings and pictures on my paper) and returned with both the student's and my paper. We both got either an A or B.

- 12th grade incident with French teacher: She found out I would either borrow from others or steal extra credit tickets to get more A's. As she was explaining how I hurt her, gave her a headache and even made her cry that day, I listened in silence and didn't care. All I was thinking of was ''Big deal, they're just worthless tickets... oh well at least I got away with it before''.

- Used to be a kleptomaniac during my mid teen years and would have kept doing it until I got caught eventually on cams. No arrest though but my parents had an embarassed look on their faces.

This is minor in comparing to someone that's really on the end of the spectrum but can genetics explain this?
My father used to be a school bully (he and his friends once left a boy with just underwears, hung his clothes on a tree and left laughing) and enjoyed it. Several years ago during a reunion, he was bragging about it and till this day doesn't feel bad about it.

My father's older sister was worse: When she was 15, she grabbed a knife and ripped her sister-in-law's couch for no reason other. She found it funny seeing her sister-in-law cry about it. Her parents and her half-sister knew about it but it was excused as typical teenage stage. As an adult, she once tried to make her daughter-in-law sick but her son switched plates; he ended up with a stomach ache and diarrhea for a couple days. She used to enjoy causing emotional distress towards others.