Search Results: lack of trust

I used to be completely honest with anyone who asked about my relationships. I wouldn't discuss sex in detail but I'd usually admit to frequency or lack thereof. Later I tried to find a balance between the two extremes but after a few drama filled relationships I became a "Fort Knox" like institution with the details. Nowadays I trust no one with the details of my love life. Most people won't even know I'm dating someone for at least the first six months. Though my privacy record stands at twelve months, you know before anyone found out. Even after that I usually only utter "Yeah, I have a girlfriend." refusing to expand on it further.

But that's me, where do you stand on it?

Conditions:

- no major issues, such as cheating, complete incompatibility, lack of trust
- You two are on decent terms ( at the very least, speaking terms)
- You two have at least spent a month or more time apart mostly focussing on yourselves
- Their intentions make sense and are pure, and they really do believe that they have made the changes necessary and are willing to make more if needed, and want to communicate with you properly

All of these would be pretty heart-breaking to me. I need physical intimacy to know my significant other loves me; that I'm still attractive to her through a desire to being close to me. Sex is one of the most intimate ways to bond with your significant other, along with having a wild, fun time! Having broken trust means your significant other won't be able to trust you with anything you say/do. A lack of effective communication means a lot more misunderstandings and arguments are likely to happen. Which of these would be most devastating to you in a relationship?

Let me put it this way. I'm confident in the sense that I trust my own judgement a lot ((sometimes to the point where it becomes a flaw of mine)), but I'm NOT as confident in my ability to get other people to listen to me and follow what I'm saying. Whenever I try to, people will typically see me as this "wannabe-hardass" and not take me seriously.

So there's this guy I know from where I go to school. Whenever he asserts his judgement.. he goes about it JUST LIKE ME.
Like, EXACTLY the same way I do. The only difference is that people actually back down and shut up when he talks.

I just don't get it. Why is he able to get away with it but I'm not? It pisses me off so much. If people don't dare disrespect him, then they should by logic be the same way with me.

Don't you dare start with that "in order for people to listen to you, you need to listen to them" bullshit either. That's such crap. HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO PEOPLE!! If someone starts talking back to them, he just verbally beats them down and they still end up doing what he says so FUCKIN ZIP IT!!

I've heard that being confident that people will listen to you is what separates one from the other. I have always been a skeptic of that principal simply because I don't think I show the area of confidence that I'm lacking in. As I said, we both act pretty much the same way when our logic is challenged. But at this point, I'm getting pretty desperate for answers.