Search Results: biggest regret

i definetely feel like i think about the future a lot, but sometimes i feel like it gets in the way of things i want to do now, and I don't know which part of myself to listen. for instance, i have a lot of goals and things i want to accomplish, the biggest being having a family and raising kids and being able to support them. as a result, i try really hard in school because i want to get into a good college to get a good job. i also try to stay out of trouble so that i dont ruin my chances of a good future. i also avoid relationships because i dont want a guy to get in the way of my set plans for the future.

but at the same time, a little part of me wants to experience hs and just the present in general. im so focused on good grades that i rarely go out and do anything with friends. it also stresses me out a ton and is simply no fun. likewise, i also want a boyfriend. i may have a shot at a relationship rn, but the future-oriented part of me tells me to forget about him! that he's only gonna get in the way of schoolwork, the chances of you even marrying him are slim, so he'll just be a heartbreak and a waste of time, plus its unlikely we will both go to the same college etc etc etc. i just dont know what to do.

if i forget about my future and focus on what makes me happy now, i may regret that in the future if i mess things up, but if i only focus on the future, i might regret that i did nothing fun in my younger years

I need advice, please.

I've been living here in the US for three years, im from an Asian country. (graduating high school student now). I moved here because of my mom, together with my 2 other siblings. my mom and dad are separated, so we all had to leave my dad behind (which breaks my heart every time I miss him by the way, and I always do).

I did see my dad last 2018. I went home for only a month.
ever since I've been here I've never really been myself. I thought I just had to give it time, and thought maybe if I made friends it will make things better, but it didn't. Everything is actually good, I think, thats why I dont know why I feel this way.

Im just gonna make this shorter, my mom and I had a big fight yesterday. She said some things out of anger. One of those things is her telling me it would be better for everybody if I went home to our home country. She knows how happier I'd be if I was home. also since I've been here I've always been easily irritated, upset, basically a pain in her life and my siblings.

I never planned on going home until she said it, but once she did, I realized then and there that it really is what I want- but I dont know if it is what's best for me. I thought once I moved here I will be here for good. I mean, its America, some people from other countries work hard to get to live here. I talked to my dad about it, he said he's always there for me if I ever decide to go home. also my boyfriend lives back in my home country too

so pros are- my dad won't be alone anymore, I would no longer be in an ldr, I would be happier, I would get to see my closest and oldest friends. (I will continue studying there)

cons- I'll leave my mom behind, I might be ruining my future and miss a lot of opportunities.

pros outweigh the cons, but I still dont know what to fucking do. a part of me knows its best to stay, but a part of me also knows I will never be contented.
If i ever decide to go home I can come back here in the country later in time