Search Results: physical attraction relationships

A backup boyfriend is a male who is stuck somewhere between the boyfriend and friend status. A girl sees potential in him being a boyfriend but he doesn't check off all the things on her physical attraction list for a mate and so she deems him just a friend for the time being while she is still looking.

Usually a backup boyfriend sometimes plays boyfriend duty while a girl is single and even when she is in a relationship; if her current boyfriend is slacking off. The backup boyfriend can get elevated to boyfriend status under following conditions:

1. Rebound guy after a girl just came out of a breakup
2. If a girl just got dumped and feels really shitty about herself
3. If a girl is feeling old and past her prime and is still single.

The girl in question usually always knows that the backup boyfriend had feelings for her or he actually did confess feelings for her at one point.

Guy's question: Do you suspect you are the backup boyfriend for some girl you are currently friends with?

Suppose a woman in her teens and for majority of her 20's only went for tall, cute guys for sex/relationships.

And now she comes and approaches a man in her late 20's and possibly 30's who does not match up with any of her past lovers and starts dating him and eventually they become BF/GF. Let say this guy looks at her facebook page and notices that none of her boyfriend she had in the past were like him.

He looks like this:

He's average looks, and only 5'9 while all her other boyfriends were cut/hot and 6'1+ males. So there is a sense of inadequacy but not only that doubt starts creeping in as to why she is with her.

Possible thoughts coming into a man's mind are this:

1) Is she after me because of my capability to provide for her (aka money)?

2) Is she with me not because she is physically attracted to me but because she thinks i'm safe and reliable?

3) Is she with me because she is desperate for marriage at this point and her boyfriend didn't want to commit, so she comes running to another guy fast lower in looks who she thinks would be more eager to wife her up faster?

4) Is she with me because her past experiences with these men were bad (maybe they cheated on her) and she thinks I would treat her much better?

The guy is questioning whether the women's attraction to him at all was on any basis of physical attraction and if there was on what level. Was it on "yes i definitely want dig him" level or a "meh he'll do" level and she is with him for other reasons.

She may love him yes for what he can do for but she little to no sexual desire for him. And this type of arrangement often leads to an arrangement where the women doesn't really want to have sex with the guy but does it out of duty.

In short every person wants to feel assured that their partner wants to jump their bones and can't keep their hands off them. If that feeling is unsure then should that be enough reason for them to break up the relationship?