Do Opposites Attract? Yeah, If You Only Care About Sex

[smoke]

We've heard this theory since we were kids: "Opposites attract."

But trust me, it doesn't work if you're talking about long-term relationships. If, on the other hand, you only care about scary awesome sex, you should definitely consider seeking out someone who's definitely your polar opposite. Here's my theory:

Great sex doesn't rely on your likes, dislikes, agreements, disagreements, etc.

Nah, sex is all about a chemical connection, something you just can't define. How closely the two people are related in terms of political, social, and religious viewpoints is almost irrelevant. What matters is whether or not there's that spark and in my experience, that spark can be - strangely enough - twice as strong when the other person is a big-time opposite. It's almost as if our bodies are compensating or something. Like deep down, we know we don't have much in common so our hormones kick in and say, "you gotta have this person...now."

We have to be realistic about relationships, don't we?

I know people claim dating someone who's very different opens up new vistas, so-to-speak. In other words, you're supposed to learn more, see things from a different perspective, blah blah blah. Well, that can be interesting for a while and I especially urge younger people to be adventurous. Your eyes really should be open. But as we get older, we get much more stuck in our ways. We come to an understanding: We know who we are, what we like, and what we want. No matter who we meet, this just isn't going to change.

So, if you're trying to forge a long-term relationship with someone who really doesn't like anything you like, who has a completely different personality, and with whom you never agree, it just isn't going to work out. It can't. Eventually, both of you are going to tire of the charade.

Strangely, it can contribute to angry sex...

Angry sex can be incredible and sometimes, you disagree so heavily with someone that something snaps and you both just have to have each other. No idea how it works, really, but it can happen. Let's say one is a staunch conservative and a big Trump supporter and the other person is a bleeding-heart liberal and wants Sanders and the Socialists to take over. Diametrically opposed, right? Nasty disagreements can ensure but in the heat of the moment, another kind of heat suddenly shows up and you get to ride the pleasure wave!

Of course, you can't keep relying on this because angry sex is hardly a solid basis for a good relationship (I refer you to the above point).

Physical attraction is a necessity for great sex, and the mind is a necessity for a great relationship

You can ignore the critical differences as long as you want; eventually, they're going to come out and you two just won't be on the same page very often. Then, a gulf opens up, slowly but surely, and at some point you realize that you're just not connecting with your partner anymore. It may happen very slowly because the sex remains fantastic but the end is inevitable. I know some guys who always seem to be attracted to opposites; girls who would never in a million years make for a good long-term match. And yet, they know just how great the attraction and chemistry can be, so they still go for it.

Waste of time, if you ask me. Well, again, depending on what you're looking for. ;)

[Grungenoreos]

My grandparents differences is what made their relationship , believe it or not, actually work. And they didn't actually have a very... spicy sex life? It was just sex between them too. Nothing angry or ever very kinky (not that thats wrong). But their differences aided them in the world. They added spice to each other's lifestyle and heloes each other out in the world. For instance my grandma is very horrible with keeping on a schedule and getting on time but my grandpa was always good at that. My grandma was a great cook and he mever was. My grandma was quick tempered but also the better talker compared to my grandpa. He learned how to talk better from her. Also, my grandpa was always good at math and things related to math and my grandma was the exact opposite. Well let's just say grandma didn't have to do much math related things in their relationship as a married couple unless it was about shopping or tutoring 3rd grade math haha... And thats just some of it but really, they balanced each other out. They often say thats why they worked. If theybwere too similar, they would have clashed because they were both bad in the same areas and make the same kinds of mistakes, etc. etc.

[hazoplmeught]

"And they didn't actually have a very... spicy sex life"

Thats what you think lol

[Grungenoreos]

@hazoplmeught No they didn't. We talk. They are srill alive. My grandma admits that their sex life... wasn't exactly what she hoped for.

[hazoplmeught]

oh... oh... she told you that? I would never ask anything about that. But i guess ur right then

[Grungenoreos]

@hazoplmeught No I never asked. Its just my grandmother is a very open person when discussing all kinds of things

[hazoplmeught]

oh, well in that case i envy you guys' relationship cuase my family doesn't really share anything personal with me.

[RandomBritishGuy94]

Opposite personality can mean other things. Maybe I enjoy football well she enjoys history programs.

You're reading way too much into an old saying.

[Grungenoreos]

Exactly. He is right that many different people are very uncompatible but being different than your partner isn't necessarily am bad thing. It just means that you guys are individuals that are your own person and bring life tothe relationship but being very different in too many things or simply what they value a lot is a completely different story

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Although you do have a point, I believe you're reading too much into what isn't there.
Generally, the opposite attract means + is attracted to -
My boyfriend and I have a great relationship; yea we've argued a bit, but we always work things out. But he and I are almost completely different, with some similarities. I'm an optimistic realist- which means I try to stay happy and look on the bright side while staying in the terms of reality. He can switch between large optimist or pessimist.
I'm generally more about being creative, impulsive decisions, very loud and opinionated. My boyfriend on the other hand is about physical shit, he's more quiet than most, thinking things through etc.
Just like with @Grungenoreos that's how my and his relationship works. He tames me, calming me down when my temper flares, or if my depression settles in. Just as I can loosen him up, and get him out of his comfort zone every now and then.
My boyfriend and I are both virgins, but we do a lot of "everything but", and we're both pretty kinky, so in a way, it works out VERY well. I'm an extreme submissive while he is a dominant.
He keeps me in control, while I break him free of his "bondage".
He and I are as different as day and night, with only 1-3 things in common (for likes/dislikes).
I even bought a ying yang necklace for me and him, the white side has a black tiger and the black side has a white dragon. He's going to get the white half, because I bring out the "bad" in him- in a good way. I'm keeping the black half, because he brings out the good in me.
I could continue on and on but I'll stop here. :)

[Grungenoreos]

Uh huh. Yes. Couldnt have said it better. Plus I am sure you and your boyfriend are similar in many regards. Lile my grandparents are very different yet they also are very alike. Its like that one sibling who is so different from you but deep down y'all very similar souls. Hard to explain... But yeah. This dude went way off kilter and blew this whole "opposites attract" and people that aren't compatible because of their differences way out of proportion.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

@Grungenoreos I agree with you, and yea of course. He and I can be very similar in ways.

[Glue-Sniffer]

That's very nice and everything but you are only 16. You haven't been confronted with major life decisions where you opinion clashes with your partner's... And there's no compromise.
Besides a relationship at such a young age is fundamentally different... In the long run, say 2-3 years plus things look very different.

[Grungenoreos]

But I can sya the exact same for my grandparents and that is just one example lf many. It doesn't mean being different is always good. It also depends on how different and how much different. But being compatible isn't about being very similar but also if you are able to balance each other out. Some different people can't do that because it also depends on HOW different.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

@Glue-Sniffer Alright, I know. I know this, and when push comes to shove, we'll do what's appropriate for the situation.

[phil2]

We are all the same. We are all human, just looking for love and acceptance. We are all struggling with life and it's turbulence. We are all looking for answers to our questions. Now with that said I fell hard for my husband. I chose to look at the things that we had in common. I chose to only look for his good qualities. As time went on I did struggle with the things we didn't have in common and the bad qualities but you know what? I choose to seek peace and compromise. I choose to love regardless of differences or imperfections.

[katherine_91]

I think it depends on what qualities are different. If they want completely different things out of life, different values, or one's religious and the other is atheist etc that relationship would be destined to fail.
On the other hand if they just listened to different music or watched different genres of movie that's not a huge deal, there are more important things than that.
Really depends on how much detail you go into in terms of "opposite"

[mikemx55]

I don't believe that opposites attract the way you say.
You are mixing mental opposites with desire for sex. And one has nothing to do with the other (at least on the animalistic sense of it).

Men are attracted to good looking girls, irrespectable of their likes and dislikes. And then comes what you said about long term relationships, when the two don't get along mentally.

[FakeName123]

I think opposites are also important for a relationship. You don't want a mirror iamge of yourself, but someone compatible with you. Thus you want someone on the same wavelength, but still a quite different person to yourself. Someone who complements you and isn't your twin.

[Zorax]

Opposites attract (very often), but that doesn't mean they can always have harmonic relationship, in most cases, such relationships are quite chaotic.

[GreatnessRevamped]

Thanks for clarifying the problem.
What's the solution? Got any suggestions?

[LilWeezey]

*repeats what the other commenters said*