If You Don't Love the Opposite Sex, Don't Expect the Opposite Sex to Love You

[Anonymous]

There are many women who are extremely beautiful, but are lonely because they have a bad attitude towards men. Meanwhile, their less attractive counterparts end up with hotter guys because they truly love men. That is like catnip to men, they fucking love it -- it's like moths to a light.

Also, I know plenty of guys that *say* they love women, but have a cynical and general bad attitude towards them. Yet I don't see women beating down their door, so to speak.

If you truly love and adore the opposite sex, they return the sentiment. You may not be as attractive, successful, or otherwise what you'd expect that would garner the affections of men/women, but the actual genuine adoration for the opposite sex goes a very long way.

(this is my first myTake, so please be gentle, :P)

[D_Bone_Steak]

Hmmm... women with a bad attitude towards men are naturally going to run into problems with men. I mean seriously... they have a bad attitude towards them already for their own reasons.

Not judging their reasons...

[myTake Owner]

They may have been hurt, or they may have inherited that bad attitude. It depends.

[MlleCake]

Totally agree with you. People who are loving are easier to love back.

[mrsterlingarcher]

That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard <3

[Fanzo2]

Every guy knows your a product of someone's effort not least your own. He knows everything and anything costs time and effort if not tangible resources, and we have a limited stock of all these commodities. He knows if he doesn't incur the cost due to him for his conduct some one else will surely pay. So the dishonest will avoid responsibility and dodge accountability.

He beds her while thinking of her loved one's and those who truly love her and smiles at his own dishonesty; yeah, nothing sadistic and malicious about that! Every guy knows how he wants his mum, sister and daughter to be treated, when confronted with that question, he will know shame or he will continue to smile.
Every guy knows or is that u believe he's only enjoying himself, unaware.

If u refuse his advances he will remember u. Depending on his resolve he will proceed to get under ur skin, try to make u jealous etc... play with ur insecurities. Don't misinterpret; he's testing ur authenticity, which even he is unaware of doing so. Once he establishes that u will not cave into ur desperation and insecurities, he'll face u fully. Then when u choose to ask for ur rights, knowing, anything u lose for being true to ur self, u never had in the first place. He will be awed at ur integrity and orbit around ur flawless diamond like quality, if he was ever sincere in his pursuit of u. He will then trust u, knowing u will always ask for ur rights and therefore not cheat on him. Next step marriage. No more broken promises, no more hiding from ur self; freedom.

[Red_Dragon]

Well what you are alluding to is quite simply feminism vs hypergamy. It's funny because it's an ouroboros. The snake eating itself. You see feminism wants what's best for women. Hypergamy is apart of that, but the process to maximize hypergamy can be seen as "dirty" to feminism. Why? Because that's the part that works in man's favor. Extreme feminism says that in order to have all the benefits it must take from the benefits of men. This is an impossible goal. Same reason why equality is impossible but from the opposite perspective.

You actually have somewhat of an equalist approach to this in fact. Guys who have a "bad attitude" for women are probably struggling with "unplugging" from the Matrix that feminism has created. They see the results of the nature of women such as solipsism and hypergamy. Of course when you acknowledge there's something there but don't take advantage of it see it as an undesirable quality in men from women.

[rjroy3]

I was initially going to disagree with your post, but upon further thinking about it I agree to a certain extent. I just know a few guys that I wouldn't say "love women" but they get a lot of women vying for their attention and love. That said, if you actually do like women/men that does help you. Because if you like them you're more likely to be mentally and emotionally engaged and that is huge.

You give a fuck about what's going on and are focused. You pay attention. That's the part that matters more in my opinion and I say that as someone who likes women xD. I just know enough examples of guys that don't that I've been convinced that it doesn't matter as much. If you think about it. It's less common for people to be legitimately engaged in what's going on day to day. We run on autopilot many times. So when you come across someone who is there in the room with you and conscious. That really stands out.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that's entirely true. I got tired of most women, to the point where I almost gave up on women altogether. Modern Western women are mostly idiots. A lot of women mock guys who talk about the whole "nice guy" vs "bad boy" thing, but in my experience as I became more and more tired of them and gave less and less of a shit about them, more women became interested. A lot of us have this mindset because we become the jerk and see a difference in the way women react. I eventually found a girl, settled down, had kids - I love her because she's different to most women, still have the same mentality towards women in general, and she agrees with me. If I were ever to end up single again there's no way I'd bother to date any other woman seriously.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

"If You Don't Love the Opposite Sex, Don't Expect the Opposite Sex to Love You" is absolutely spot on!

[Onlythisone]

It's a lot more complicated than just that. It's symbolic of a point in life. And of how they've been treated in the past.

People are always saying "she would meet a nice guy if she didn't have an attitude" or some equivalent... How do they think she got that attitude?

[Red_Dragon]

Depends on how we define "attitude". Because it still isn't entirely her environment.

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon how would you say it is not environment? (Genuinely want to hear your thoughts on this if you can elaborate as epigenetics, or the effects of environment on DNA is a primary area of interest of mine and if there are areas of the human condition not dictated by environment I'd want to investigate further)

[Red_Dragon]

Would you agree that most women want the best optimal partner for them?

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon that's a very general statement, I would think all humans want the best partner for them... You put time and energy into what you believe won't work.

[Onlythisone]

You don't*

[Red_Dragon]

So when she times to optimize what partner is best for her... this is what these guys are referring to when they say "attitude".

[Red_Dragon]

*tries

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon so what is it called when guys do it?

[Red_Dragon]

He's called an asshole. A dick. A jerk. That kind of thing. Granted men don't really optimize like women.

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon lol maybe they just aren't aware of it. I'll give some examples because it is different than the way women do it:

I work with a lot of men each one sees me entirely differently and this has been a continuum of how people react in general but this will be the most recent pool of examples. None are potential partners, most are married, this is about perception.

1. Submariner -Sees himself as intimidating and tries to portray strength and masculinity... Sees me as confident and put together, a good worker, imagines me as a second wife... Or that I'd try to steal his.

2. Our resident fuckboy- sees himself only in the terms of who many women he can get with, thinks I should be a cougar and go after young meat, use sex to get free stuff.

3. All American Dad- See's himself as the good Christian husband and father, doesn't make lude jokes, doesn't sit while a woman is standing, sees me as good girl notices my efforts to be kind to people.
Everyone only sees me in the context..

[Onlythisone]

Of themselves, whether there is any reality too it or not... Every person I meet has a different image of me and treats me according to that image, an image entirely based on a reflection of themselves.

They get angry when that image is broken or even if there is attempt to break it.

When women try to change partners they do so by asking them or switching partners.

Men do so by deciding who you are and expecting you to fit within that mold

[Red_Dragon]

1. He thinks you'd steal his wife? 🤔

2. Seeing people on here use the word fuck boy like that is like hearing nails scratch a chalk board. You mean a player. Not a fuck boy.

3. What about dad jokes? Any of those?

Perception I guess is a apart of it. It's linked to the type of guy. Ultimately two of the three guys are the ones who actually see you as a sexual option. One sees women how extreme feminism wants men to see them. I bet you he learned "how to be a gentleman" through years and years of social engineering. The submariner guy is the in-between guy. He's the one straddling the fence between being the validation guy and the trade off guy. The player is open with his objectivity. Be it seen as good or bad he is probably a bad taste in most feminists mouths. You're right. Men will get angry when their ideal image of a woman is broken. Though it is when they realize most women aren't how they envisioned that the true "unplugging" begins.

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon like I said those are just 3 examples, the example doesn't matter it's the idea, So I won't argue semantics of personality. Each person can see the same person entirely different. It is a reflection of themselves. Everyone tries to choose the best partner unless they decide they can only get along with themselves. It is just done differently. It is not bad or good, it is what you make it. There is nothing wrong with expectations, it is what allows you to decide one person is better suited than another. To lead this back into the original point, this is what makes women have "attitude" when the image that men project on them never coincides with what they are actually like. It has to be something they are capable of maintaining and it has to be worth putting in the effort to maintain a personal, that is where they start considing what he is offering. If they are trying to be something too far from what they actually are in order to make a man happy eventually...

[Onlythisone]

It bubbles over to resentment same as it does if a man tries to change himself to fit into a role for a partner. This is why knowing who you are and only choosing people that want what you already are is important.

[Red_Dragon]

What you don't understand though is that women are more likely to go after guys who are higher in sexual value than guys. For guys it is more so quantity. At least when it comes to biological dynamics. Sure if a guy was taught to only want a woman for his personality that's all he'll do unless he's taught otherwise. Unless he's taught what he was probably more susceptible to being. Most men have this fantasized idealism because of media, social structure, etc. they are taught to be better lovers but also taught that women are equal. Because they think women are equal they think women ought to be great lovers too... this is where the attitude comes in. Reality sets in and they realize that women aren't romantic in the way they thought.

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon women and men are different, why does that have to be a bad thing?

You are basing your idea that women aren't romantic off of the idea that they view 'being romantic' as the same thing that men do.

If you value different things, you place greater weight on the things you value. ... there was a book I read a while ago called the five love languages... It basically said that you had a way you gave love and a way you felt it returned, that if what your partner was giving wasn't what made you feel loved it wasn't noticed. The five we're 1. words of affirmation 2. Physical touch 3. Receiving gifts 4. Quality time 5. Acts of service.

So if you partner buys you flowers (gifts) but they value words of affirmation the flowers are meaningless and saying they look beautiful would have had more affect. If someone values physical touch but you cook them dinner you might see the act of service as a loving gesture but they won't notice.

[myTake Owner]

I agree some people have been hurt, that's why they have a negative opinion of the opposite sex. On the flip side, some people are assholes, and just have a negative outlook.

[Red_Dragon]

I never said it was a bad thing for men and women to be different. It's just that often times the narrative is told from one particular side. Not the other one. It's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Shows we need each other.

I didn't say women aren't romantic. I said they aren't romantic in the way a lot of guys think they are.

You make a very good point. I haven't read that book but the author is very right here. Different women like different things. Man has been given the burden of performance and must figure out what those things are and preferably already know what those things are without asking her.

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon asking a question isn't a burden and both genders have to do it.

[Red_Dragon]

No not really. Men always have to perform. It's why male sports athletes are seen as attractive to women. They keep their body in shape making them better able to perform. This why the male brain is more logical and calculating. We are seen as problem solvers. "Honey, fix the sink." "Honey, my nail broke." etc. etc. Sure the sexual revolution of the 70s had a strong push for women "going their own way" or doing things on their own and that's fine and good until those same people realize how much they need men to even sustain the platform they stand on.

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon so I guess blowjobs don't count as performance to you lol that's a joke by the way in all seriousness men are supposed to perform in an ideal world... The world isn't idea, do women want a man that will help, of course. But men also want to sleep with super models. If you want to hold yourself to the standards of perfection good for you, that's brave. But don't hold it as a standard that women don't do the same. It's my weekend, after getting off work where I spent the day carving up metal and fixing tape machines, I cooked enough food for the next week, caught up on chores, fixed a lounge chair, a forced air heater, a leaking valve, sanded down and tore off rotted siding, started cutting and painting... Even when I've had men around their response was always that I could do it myself and I did. Women don't sit around waiting on prince charming... There aren't very many of those, women handle their own stuff and are grateful for the help if it comes, but in most cases it doesn't.

[Red_Dragon]

Again I didn't say women CAN'T do things.. sorry if that's the implication. Just like I didn't say women can't be romantic. I'm just saying men HAVE to perform. They are expected to perform. They have more pressure on them to perform. If you do a lot for yourself that's nice. Good for you. However, a woman who can't do some hard labor on her own is a damsel in distress. A man who can't do some hard labor is not a man. This is how the world sees it.

[Red_Dragon]

The whole "Man up." "Quit being a pussy." "Grow a pair." Kind of thing. Nobody says that to a woman.

[Onlythisone]

@Red_Dragon no they say "why don't you have a man" "smile" "your going to be old and alone soon" what I'm trying to say is none of that matters, what people say isn't reflective of who people are. If someone tells you to grow a pair it isn't because you are a man it's because you are whining about something that all humans have to do everyday. It has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with personal strength. You either take control of your life or someone else will do it for you. The grass isn't greener on the other side, everyone has to deal with life and life sucks. So what someone told you to grow a pair... Are you listening? It's good advice, because until you learn that you are responsible for yourself your life is going to suck... Or you can take the other popular option, cut off your dick and pretend to be a girl, see if it's actually what you imagine it's like?

[Onlythisone]

Maybe a better question is: " how do you think society should treat you, and why do you think you deserve that?" You specifically, not men.

[Red_Dragon]

"no they say "why don't you have a man" "smile" "your going to be old and alone soon"

And that's the issue women face. They had a certain amount of time to find the most optimal partner they can find. They have more pressure than men to find that. That's my entire point.

You have an equalist mindset in short. It's okay to agree to disagree here.

[ManOnFire]

No, can't say this is true. Do you have any idea how many women flock to men who don't respect, adore, or look at them adoringly? Women can be more self-deprecating and can pick men that match their mindset or emotions. And on a flipside many men can't stand a woman who looks at men poorly and is stuck in self-pity.

[myTake Owner]

Low self-esteem women is what you're describing here.

[ManOnFire]

Some of them. Even women with better self-esteem can be attracted to men who would treat them like shit. Some of them even find that hot.

[Astria]

Yeah, I'd say that's an accurate assessment but we are getting into fuzzy territory here too. I some men, not all men. I adore an intelligent kind man with good morals. For example, a man that would stand up to injustice if he were to see it, would say something if someone was being bullied. I don't love a man that needs a woman to abuse and kick around emotionally. So that fits with your definition. :)

[CharlieUnicorn]

Good take!
Plain looking girl at work who never wears any makeup, slightly overweight, sometimes gets called a tom boy...
... but when she talks to you, it's always sincere. She checks in to see how you're doing (but out of honest interest, not just politeness). She makes no attempt to hide the fact that she's curious about you.

And you start to feel like "Dang girl, I just may want to marry you".

[Anonymous]

Yeah its obvious its your first take, please never do one again, and leave your fairy tale bullshit to yourself. Whether you love something/someone or not can in no way affect whether they love you. If that wasn't the case, everybody would be happy and in love. Also many of the biggest players, and most desirable men are actually misogynists. The simple truth is if you are an ugly fuck, and dont have the sense of humor to compensate the lack of looks, nobody is going to want you, no matter what you love/hate or how you feel about anything. And being a good person is a turn off for the majority of people nowadays. They won't say it but they will date it. Sad but true

[Paul09]

I can't pick up if my life depended on it. I'm not sure if women like me, or if I'm attractive to them. But I still love women, even if I don't feel love from them. Maybe some of these women are in that situation, just start to hate men for that reason.

[dizmuhjam]

Its kind of childish tbh.. like kindergarden shit.
'eeew giiirls' 'eeew they do this and that' 'eeew you like her'
'eeew guys' 'eeeew they do disgusting stuff' 'eeew you like him'

[myTake Owner]

Yeah that playground boys vs girls thing never really goes away, haha. We just get hormones.

[Felix88please]

There’s a lot of truth in this. I understand on some occasions the negative attitude may have come from a bad previous experience but you have to at least attempt to approach each new chapter with a fresh/positive attitude

[ADFSDF1996]

True for the most part, the only people that will still flock to bitter members of the opposite sex are those who suffer from sycophancy.

[ADFSDF1996]

And I don’t mean that in a vilifying way.

[myTake Owner]

Yes, I see this from the comments, lol.

[cherryphi82]

Yeah, I think that's an accurate assessment. This begs the question as to where and how people learn their basic view of the opposite gender, and if certain factors can change that view or enhance it.

[FatherJack]

Indifferent towards women , apart from my female friends , but certainly love my daughter ( we both wanted a girl ) to bits. Being a single dad removes me from the dating pool anyway , no negativity towards women , simply no desire to date.

[Walkerrose]

Well... even if you love them truly... just don't expect them to love you back cuz expectations hurt.

[rjroy3]

If the love is based on them loving you back, then it's not really love. Love just IS

[Walkerrose]

@rjroy3 Yes right, if the love is based on expectations then it isn't love.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Women don't love men anyway, they only love what they can get from us.

[RegularTK421]

I have to work on some things. I've been single in my life more than in a relationship, and I know I'm part of the problem.

[Kiran04]

I'd say, "fucking duh", but there are mountains of women out there who simply cannot grasp this fact, which is absurdly sad.