What frustrates you that the opposite sex expects out of you in a relationship?

[HawkPerception]

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

That I have to take the initiative for everything because I am the man - dating ideas, activities, intimacy.

I am not the type that sits down and lets her do everything, but I like to be the one surprised with something once in a while. I once dated a woman for whom I organized everything while she didn't reciprocate - after a while I assumed she wasn't interested and moved on. She was extremely upset because she thought the man had to do everything and the woman had to sit.

Second thing - that somehow we men are sex machine a ready for it 100% of the time. I like to think I am ready 99% of the time, but if I had a really bad day, got sick or something tragic happened, that's the last thing on my mind. Had an ex get mighty upset I didn't want to bang after getting back from the funeral of a childhood friend - guess why she became an ex very fast.

[HawkPerception]

This was bang on. I felt every sentence man.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Thank you for MHO!

[Purpleronnie]

I can’t think of one relationship expectation , shared amongst all women I have dated or know of , that I see as negative or frustrating.


Sure there have been some comments made from some ex’s about what they either expected of me or “men” in general that I’ve disagreed with and I’ve dealt with those at the time depending on their impact on us or me.


Expecting me to always plan date night , expecting me to always drive / pick her up , expecting all my free time to be spent with her , expecting me to only have male friends , expecting me to “always” tell her how beautiful or well dressed she looks when she has dressed up “for me” Expecting me to “always” do certain chores in “our” house … there is a long list here 😂

[HawkPerception]

I agree with that last paragraph very much

[Purpleronnie]

Thanks , very much a “lived” perspective

[ShellyB]

This may be too obvious or kind of a cliche but, I would ideally like sex 1-2 times per week he likes sex at least 3-4 times, I think he would want more if I agreed to it. I don’t think it needs to be so often, it is more special if it is a little less often. But that is JMO!

For other stuff, we divide up the things we kind of focus on and I think we are both OK with it even if it could sound unfair if you only looked at that type of thing. For example I buy most of his presents for things like his parents anniversary or his sister’s birthday and I plan most of our events with friends or family where we have to do some of the hosting or planning, while he takes my car to get maintenance stuff done to it and a lot of times he takes it when I’m not using it to fill it up with gas so I very rarely need to do that. And he takes out the trash nearly all the time and if he’s around, I do more cooking than he does. Bur that is all fine w me, we mostly both avoid the stuff we don’t like or aren’t as good at.

[Summeroflove]

I think it’s the entitlement of people you’re not even in a relationship with who feel as if the opposite sex owes them anything, are bashing other peoples relationships, and are genuinely just unhappy miserable people that nobody halfway decent wants.

Relationships can look different from person to person that’s called dating seeing who you’re compatible with as well as who you’re not. Be open and honest about what you’re looking for as to not waste your time and especially not wasting someone else’s time who may very well be a great person with a lot to offer… Just not looking for different things. So there is a fine like between just being honest about what you want and being entitled acting as if someone HAS to do those things for you.

The last thing applies to narcissists and other dark personalities. It’s being one sided expecting someone to go out of their way for them, expecting you to spend all your money on them, expecting you do pull out all the stops, do all the things….. and offer little to nothing in return, unless strings are attached. They wonder why people with self respect just choose not to keep seeing them and eventually find someone who has more to offer them. Then they get stuck with all the people nobody wants.

[Finchie40]

I hate when she expects you to do for her , but she doesn’t do for you. Especially when we set boundaries together in the relationship , that she assumes. she doesn’t have to follow , the same way I have to follow for her. I usually end up with selfish girls’ that only think about what’s best for herself , that doesn’t consider my feelings the same way she wants me to consider hers. I have dated girls’ that didn’t want me going out with friends’ without her , but the second she got invited to go out, I was t even a thought. So I can’t stand double standards in relationships from girls’ period

[HawkPerception]

It's a dynamic the majority of men deal with nowadays. You're not alone brother.

[Finchie40]

Yea that’s why I choose to stay single and only be FWB’s with girls’ until I really
Get to know her , because most of them don’t really know what they want , they think they do , but they don’t.

[DishLady]

The guys want to be allowed to be masculine... so then the expectation is to let the guy initiate... Which tends to leave a lady hanging. The guy will claim he wants a lady (nice, smart, loving, etc.) but always goes for the tramp (who notably DOESN'T wait for the guy to initiate). So guys... make up your minds, yeah?

[ProbablyClueless]

That happens because the feminine women almost never give us ANYTHING to go on. We have no idea whether she'd receptive to us or not because that sort of woman almost never gives any helpful feedback.

[DishLady]

@ProbablyClueless Not so... I was just sitting at dinner with three of my guy friends discussing a recent encounter and they all agreed that I was clear in my intentions, for example, however... I like to take things slowly and not jump the gun then have regrets... and there's nothing wrong with that. But the guy DOES have to show some initiative... Ask a girl out... make the first call... show her you CARE and aren't just there to get into her panties...

[Ghstarqueen]

Well that's men for you if you still can't see what's happening then keep going for the ring men.

[michalpl00]

Men want a feminine woman. We want to take the initiative. I understand taking things slow but the most unattractive thing a girl can do is put in zero or minimal effort. I have enough self respect to say, oh she just likes the attention and isn’t really interested in me. Dry conversations, shorts replies. One thing i have learned is that i will pursue a girl but never chase. If there is no intimacy on the first or second date. Not even a kiss. If the girl liked me I she would kiss me. So i will not waste my time. I believe intimacy is part of creating a stronger connection, not just pump and dump. I dont do hookup culture. I am a man of god. It takes who to tango. So both need to show effort and interest. When it comes to power dynamics. I feel the best when I lead. So i will naturally be dominant. But the problem arises when the give is masculine too. Then she doesn’t allow me to lead. I start to feel less masculine and that is not a good feeling. So I have to dominate her so she doesn’t dominate me. Just like male friends do with each other. At the end of the day, i am looking for a girl who will be my rock, my peace. I know my place. She knows hers.

[michalpl00]

I am frustrated that i am supposed to be a man dominant, masculine. Only talk to her. Treat her like a gentleman. Treat her like gold.


Which she has has 10 guys she is texting which she says they are like brothers to me. guys friends, goes to clubs and parties, girls trips and girls night out. Dresses and behaves promiscuously. Post thirsttraps on social media. Looking for attention and validation from other guys. Disrespectful and neglects my conserns by saying i am controlling and insecure. Tells me I need to trust her more after she lies to my face and doesn’t take accountability for her actions.


That is crazy to me. I am a man, I behave like a man and i am very loyal. I have good manners but tiktok is telling girls they need to be feminists in order to be happy. They hate men. And don’t want to sumbit, they want the opposite they want dominance and the benefits from a good man. But good men have standards and boundaries. A good man sets the rules out. Not the girl. The problems are the rise of feminine men and masculine women

[sage2021]

From my own experience, . my husband was in a rock and roll band which meant that I hardly ever saw him because he was at practice most of his spare time.
He expected me to continue being his great wife AND spend most of my marriage alone and be okay with it.
I wasn't okay with it.

[ItsJill]

I dislike when men assume that because I work in masculine fields, keep my hair short, am into “boy” hobbies, I am not feminine and don’t want to be treated like a woman.
Some men don’t understand I just ask for respect of my badge when I’m on duty, not to be treated like a man all the time.
I don’t put on my cop persona when I’m off duty, I like wearing dresses when I go partying and I like having some fun.

[RingOfFire]

You have to admit that if you have a traditionally masculine profession, keep your hair short and you're into "boy" hobbies, that's a pretty difficult lifestyle for a man to navigate and still treat you the way you want to be treated isn't it? That's probably not a common thing to experience for most men who are looking for a relationship with a woman.

[Summeroflove]

@RingOfFire you would be surprised not all women who are cops wished they are men or are lesbians. Some are yes but not all.

Also the second thing is not everyone is your romantic partner… Treat people with respect and like a human being. As far as relationships go then yes find someone you’re compatible with and vice versa.

[RingOfFire]

🤣I don't think all female cops are lesbians.

A neighbor and friend of mine is a detective in our county police department. He's invited me over for parties a few times over the years and a number of people he worked with were there including a few female cops who definitely were not lesbians.

But what I am referring to is this particular post where she says that her preferences include more than just her choice of profession. That doesn't mean she is a lesbian, but it does seem that she is not your typical feminine type woman many men seek out. It also doesn't mean that no men would be attracted to her. Some men really like the tomboy type and if that is her style, then I'm sure some guys would find it attractive even if I don't.

[michalpl00]

Being a cop means that you have a strong sense of right and wrong. Authority and power. Those are dominant and masculine traits. That means you might not suit a classical feminine role where you let your man make the decisions and follow his lead. Instead maybe 50/50 leadership is better. But myself for example, i like to be in charge because i feel like a man. But i also treat her like gold, like a lady. If she doesn’t behaves like a lady. But try to assert dominance. I can't keep treating her like a lady. My ex was very dominating. But it was almost like she didn’t like the fact that i had dominant traits. She had to cruelly put me down all the time. I took too much humiliation and disrespect from her. So I learned about myself that i want peace and that being a dominant man is my authentic self. If a girl wants to take control and diminish my authority, never letting that happen again. I know people are different. Some guys are 50/50 others even submissive. Just stay true to yourself and find someone compatible

[PeachyPie93]

Somethings that annoy me are: they expect you to clean up after them for everything like a child, expects you to ALWAYS be up for sex but denies it when he is not in the mood, stops taking you out but still expects you to look nice, ALWAYS puts his mothers needs before yours, makes you hangout with his family even when they talk behind your back.

[HawkPerception]

A mother is always a man's first love. They take care of us without the need for anything in return for 16+ years in our life (usually even more nowadays). Can you say the same about how much you cared for your partner without a need for reciprocation at all for that many years? Mother will always take first priority. It changes slowly the longer you're married, but that's just something you have to accept.

If you raise your kids, they'll likely feel the same way and that's a good thing.

As for the expecting to clean up after you part, that is definitely just a partner issue. There are men that are happy to help around the house. We don't generally take cleanliness as seriously as women. A few clothes on the floor isn't gonna kill anyone. The dishes can wait a day before being done. But it's not like we want to live in filth either. We get things done when it's necessary.

[PeachyPie93]

He expected me to be like his mother and was with him for 12 years.. but he always put his mom first even though he had 5 other siblings that could do for her.. he would cancel plans with me to go do some stupid shit for her.. I hate that idea since I am supposed to be your new family, especially I ditched my family for him and moved to his shit bag country. I will never except that idea.. so now if a guys mom is still alive and in his life I rather not date him, go be with your mom at that point lol.

[ProbablyClueless]

The sheer amount of effort, and validation, and initiative so many women expect men to put into relationships is pretty wild.

It's like having a relationship with myself, expect somehow even more draining.

[Shiprex]

That they aren't able to be as quick to arousal as men. That foreplay is usually about getting them "in the mood" by creating atmospheres of desire hours before and it's a MAN'S responsibility for her satisfaction in erotic endeavours.

[TheSmellOfVictoria]

Them expecting me to kill spiders and other creepy and scary bugs. I'm just as scared as they are!

[dustybiker2]

When someone has expectations. Relationships are a balance. It's give and take. If people do not understand that they still have maturing to do alone.

[HawkPerception]

Having zero expectations in a relationship? Might as well just let it go and eat potato chips all day on a couch because your partner has no expectations of you and will "love you no matter what". EVERYONE has expectations in a relationship. Whether it's about how they treat their partner, how they live their life, their manners, etc.

To say having expectations is immature... I 100% disagree with you on that one.

[dustybiker2]

I stand by my thoughts. Needs and expectations are not the same thing.

[HawkPerception]

Fair enough. I respect it.

[HungTexan]

Sometimes women will expect you to be the perfect gentleman, the perfect lover, the perfect companion, the perfect provider etc. if they put you on a pedestal you’re bound to fall off at some point.

[TheSpaceGnome]

"I can’t think of one relationship expectation , shared amongst all women I have dated or know of , that I see as negative or frustrating." ~ GaG user Purpleronnie

I agree with this statement, I can't think of one either.

[IHateBeingaMan]

men always having to make the first move and be the initiators

[Crazzyyworld]

Well when a woman can’t do sex work because she is not good looking enough and she marry someone who is poor but she still want a house, money for shopping, and comfortable things that will frustrated him?

[michalpl00]

If a women wants to do sex work. That is not someone to marry. That is a prostitute.

[Crazzyyworld]

I know only ugly women left to get married and even the ugly women want your house

[michalpl00]

I think it’s the mans responsibility to provide like a man should. But also not spoil you. Having foods and roof over your head. A provider is not a spoiler. Just having a normal good life. But if there is little or no money it means that he has to try harder.

[Crazzyyworld]

Well like you will be faithful for life? Men cheat

[michalpl00]

Good men are loyal. Will never betray you. I am too loyal. When i start talking to a girl I have eyes only for her. I pursed my ex and rejected 3 beautiful girls while in the talking stage. It turned out that my ex also had opportunities yet she did not reject and slept with someone and then she lied about it and made it seem like i was the only was since we met. I forgave her, but it broke the trust. she thought i would leave or cheat so she cheated a second time. She kinda messed up my view on girls too to be honest. But I believe there are good people and bad people. I would say that religious people are the most loyal. A godless person will act godlessly. A person will god in their heart will always do the right thing.

[Crazzyyworld]

Perfect relationship doesn't exist.

[michalpl00]

It does, it starts with you. What do you bring to the table. Eventually you will find someone who also brings to the table. Don’t loose hope. God has a plan for you. If a relationship didn’t work out it was gods test.

[HawkPerception]

@Crazzyyworld there's a lot of happy couples that would disagree with you

[Crazzyyworld]

Name one happy couple

[Crazzyyworld]

You might not see divorce rate. 1 out of 2 people divorce at first marriage. You sound like in a dream world.

[Crazzyyworld]

You hope that you meet some gorgeous woman that you dont have to think of other woman and she will never get old. But they are all out there selling sex that they will never come to you

[HawkPerception]

@Crazzyworld I feel bad for women that think like you 😂

[Crazzyyworld]

My dad told me all men are bullshit anyway

[Billlewis]

Nothing. Absolutely nothing, because she can demand whatever she wants.

[Unap0logetic_]

Someone to be able to do all of these tricks on them with not much to work with.

[HawkPerception]

Really lost at what that means

[LiamJHayden]

If she is rational, nothing. I have run into a crazy who thought I should pay her bills because we were dating.

[Manuelwe]

To come thevsamevtime they do. Or refuse to do oral sex

[robocop666]

Women expect men to pay the bills and do the approaching

[69Lonely69]

I think women expect perfection

[msc545]

Women expect men to read their minds.

[chrissykerdock]

swallowing their cum

[nawtee_me]

Lack of communication

[Shy_Steve]

Confidence.