Imagine this. One morning you stop at a nearby Starbucks to buy a coffee.
You notice a nice looking protein bar on the counter and think “why not”. You reach for it only to be met with the feeling of skin. “Oh my bad” you say “no, here you take it” you hear in response. That voice. Probably the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. You have to see where it came from. You look up. It’s love at first sight. They smile and start a conversation, years go by, and you find yourself signing a marriage contract wondering how you got here but still for some reason you’re happy.
Time goes on and things begin to change. This thing is now in your home. It’s said things you can never unhear. Did things you could never unsee. Even hurt you many many times. It yells at you, blames you for things that you swear are not your fault, and never seems to own up to its own mistakes. You kinda hate it but you can’t. You made a promise that you’d love it. But things feel different now. This wasn’t the way this felt when it all started. This isn’t what you thought you were getting when you signed up for this. You feel tricked. No worse. THEY TRICKED YOU! How dare they! Fuck them. You should leave. You can’t. NO YOU MUST. For your own health. You leave.
What do you do now? Be alone? You’ve done it before. You can do it. But that feeling that you had in the beginning felt so great. Maybe you just picked the wrong one. Why not try again who’s it going to hurt? You? Well maybe but you can take it. It happens again. Love, commitment, regret. “What the fuck? What’s going on? Where’s the issue? Is it me?” You ask. Certainly not. Well maybe. Okay definitely but it’s not like you’re not trying and isn’t that really the only thing you can do? So it must be the institution. That’s it! It’s society. You figured it out you genius you. There’s only one thing left to do. FIX ALL OF SOCIETY! Uhh that sounds hard. Nope you gotta. If you don’t who will. It’s hard. Really hard. Okay maybe this is a task too big for you alone. Let’s find a community to help. Let’s start a movement!
Why aren’t people understanding this movement!?Why do they want this pain to continue? These people are either insane or idiots! Maybe you should actually meet one in person. I mean you’re not afraid. You’re no bigot. You meet a few. They aren’t insane. They aren’t idiots. They’ve even got some good points. Have you been wrong this whole time? Well what do you do now? You can’t just abandon your movement now can you? What will it look like? Ugh. No. You tell the truth. You try to reform your movement but it’s bigger than you now. You leave it.
You’re alone again. Confused. What do you do? You can try and find that feeling again but you’re no fool. You know where it leads you. But what else is there to do? You are a different person now. Maybe you can do it. It happens. It all starts over. It’s great but things are starting to change again. Shit. You don’t want to do this all over again. You stick it out. It hurts. It’s miserable but there are worse things in the world. You come to accept the pain. You try your hardest to focus on the positive. It’s bearable. Which feels like so much less than the promise that one protein bar meeting hinted at. You concede that this may just be the way things are. They die.
What the fuck! Just when you started getting used to things it’s taken away from you. You sink. Those left behind come to comfort you. You try your best to appreciate it. It’s pleasant enough. You die. What a life.
Umm no as the narrator I say no. You’re starting over from the beginning. You again find yourself staring into the eyes of your coffee shop companion this time armed with a lifetime of understanding. You walk away with your coffee as they stand oblivious to the future that could’ve been.
You focus on you. You do all the things that you want to do. You never engage in this romantic system. You create, you learn, you grow. All on your own. You meet people and engage briefly never tying yourself to another. You’re free. You change the world. They all say thanks. They make a monument for you that you didn’t even want. You die.
They remember you.
They die. All of them. Nothing remembers you. The universe fades to nothing.
Nothing you did matters. No one exists to appreciate it. It was pointless.
No as the narrator I say no. I send you back. Once again you find yourself staring into the eyes of your coffee shop companion.
What do you do? You know your choice here doesn’t matter. You find yourself years later to the left of your coffee shop companion at a child’s soccer game or dance recital or something it doesn’t really matter to you, you’re here for the nachos. Your coffee shop companion reaches for one. You get a little apprehensive because they insulted you last night. You remember your other life and let them take one.
It’s over and you ready yourself to leave. The baby being held by the person seated in front of you vomits on your shirt. Your coffee shop companion pulls out a napkin and helps clean you up. You both laugh. That kid you came to see shows up and asks how they did ignoring the fact that you’re covered in vomit. You tell them you’re proud of how hard they worked and that you can tell they’re improving. Deep down you felt that they sucked but you didn’t lie they really were better than before.
The baby’s mother notices you covered in vomit and apologizes. You assure her that everything’s fine since that’s just what babies do. You look at your coffee shop companion now throwing away the vomit napkins. They don’t look or act the same as they did at the coffee shop all those years before. They’ve changed quite a bit actually. In some ways they seem better in others worse. A part of you is curious as to where this may go. A part of you worries. You ignore that part. You’ve lived a few lives now, you’ve seen the outcomes, and know it’s all just a matter of perspective. You tell your coffee shop companion thank you and take everyone out for ice cream.
They laugh and smile as you all eat. You know it’s temporary and pain will come again but you’re prepared. The kid asks why you bought them ice cream. You respond with “It makes you happy and I guess that makes me happy too.” You look over at your coffee shop companion and honestly find it hard to believe that they’d do something similar these days but for some reason you don’t care. What’s the worse that could happen? They drain your life until you find yourself on the verge of death living in a cardboard box with a broken leg and a staff infection? At that point you could just end it all if you wanted to right? What’s the narrator going to do? Restart the story again? Maybe with a crazy twist this time? Or maybe just end it altogether? It’s fine you’re okay with either at this point. There’s no real threat here for you. You smile at your coffee shop companion. You could walk away at any time or stay forever. Doesn’t matter to you. But you stay for now. Why? Well you’d have to tell me. It’s your story now.
What’s your reasoning? How do you feel about this MyTake? Should Starbucks make me the head of thier marketing team? Who knows it’s up to you.
What Girls & Guys Said
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The drama in all this made me lol.
Yes. Starbucks should hire you. Not for marketing though.
Ouch lol
I can tell you were in the zone when you wrote this lol. I see your thought process... but there is definitely an element of humor thrown in there.
I wrote this more to hear people’s answer to that final why stay question. I actually care about that answer unlike the Starbucks thing. Do you have an answer?
Well, if you don't even try, you won't know how it all turns out. You painted this picture of abject misery... but for many people out there, having a partner and living life together is a beautiful thing.
I wrote it in one sitting pretty much as a stream of consciousness and probably should’ve done at least a little reworking but I liked the idea of just posting it raw. Thanks for the praise. I like keeping things a little light.
I think that was the conclusion I was trying to get to. The shift from this perspective of abject misery to a place of calm and appreciation.
Gloomy Dark...
Too long. I stopped after paragraph 2.